Chapter Eleven
The Metroids
"Uh…um…the fearless Space Outlaw was all alone in the dark and mysterious alien experimentation room…with only his stellar space-gun Russell to keep him company as the Robot Bounty Hunters came to grind his bones into dust…"
The flashing shimmer-lights of red ceased their frenzied shuttering and the blaring whoop-whoop! of the alarm system had slowly begun to fade out into a faint reverberation…and although the noise and chaos seemed to dissipate from the area to make way for an eerie silence, Ed did not exactly feel any calmer.
His third-person narrations helped ease his anxiety, yes, but they could not prepare him for whatever was about to come…or wherever it was going to come from.
That he decided to stay up there and take on the incoming "Robot Bounty Hunters" instead of jumping down to the first floor and escaping back to the caverns was mind-boggling in and of itself, but Ed was always one to revel in cinematic situations. He remembered that, about a year ago, he had entered Edd's room uninvited, and had triggered a similar alarm, and all he got were droning chants of "you have invaded my personal space!" drilling into his eardrums.
This was pretty similar, though he had a feeling that an angry Edd was not what he was about to confront.
"The Outlaw wanted to scream and run for his life!" he continued through chattering teeth, droplets of sweat slowly crawling their way down the side of his face. "But he had no choice but to confront his foes in the name of justice…or else meet…his…maker…"
Remaining ever-resolute, Ed slowly backed up until he was firmly up against the tall railing overlooking the rest of the three-story chamber, fixing his arm cannon's sights on the alarm-triggered doorway about ten feet in front of him. A charged Power Beam shot had begun to bloom at the maw of his weapon, at this point an instinctive reaction to danger.
If there were ever a time to flawlessly emulate the fighting prowess of a fabled Space Outlaw…this was it.
Fzzzz-whirrr!
Ed nearly jumped out of his skin at the sudden sound of a releasing latch, coming directly from the door before him. But he did not lose his composure, and kept his trusty weapon at the ready.
"Uh…battle stations…ready!" Though he quaked in his boots and every digit on his hands trembled, Ed never slacked in his stance. He had experienced this many times, especially whenever an irate Sarah had barged down the basement stairway and kicked his door open with a shrill cry of "Ed!" Though of course he knew it was not going to be Sarah waiting behind this portal.
Ka-clack!
The second and final latch disengaged, and the outer rims of the hexagonal door had begun to shimmer with a sky-blue luminescence, indicating motion-sensored activation from the other side.
"Enemy…incoming…!" he shouted through gritted teeth as he hastily took time to readjust his pants. "Stellar-space guns ready! Aim…!"
Wizz-shiiiiiiiing!
The moment of truth had arrived, and without hesitation, Ed unleashed his charged blast at the black-clad assassin that had leaped into the chamber and directly toward his face; but alas! The assailant was immensely skilled in its craft and swashed its outstretched vermillion arm-blade with enough dexterity to deflect the blast, rendering it a helpless cloud of plasma-particles fluttering about in the air. Before Ed could even think about charging up another shot, the Space Pirate assassin dropped down directly in front of the boy and murderously swung its vorpal blade at his sweat-glistened neck.
But Ed's reflexes were not to be underestimated, either! With a bellowing cry of "gwarrgh!" he instinctively clamped his teeth onto the alien's blade like a bulldog to a mailman's pant leg, and though the alien struggled to wrest the boy off of its deadly weapon, Ed's jaw remained steadfast in its grip. What was more, it had not quite noticed the coils of electric blue Grapple Beam energy that had suddenly become lassoed around its ankles…well, until the last minute, that is.
"Go back from whence you came, Plunderer of the Seven Solar Seas!" commanded Ed heroically as he spat out the alien's blade and he used all of his girth to hurl the alien straight off of the balcony and down to the distant floor below, landing flat on its back with a satisfying ker-crasssshhh!
Ed took a moment to catch his breath and scratch his unibrow, a smile of victorious satisfaction upon his face. "Aha! The Pirate has been defeated, and the soldier has saved the da-"
A sudden and surprisingly tight grip on his left arm rendered him unable to finish his statement, and Ed quickly found himself being hurled through the air and crashing backfirst into the nearby wall with a painful ker-thud!
Slightly dazed but hardly confused (relatively speaking), he instinctively fired three ever-devastating missiles toward the general direction of his new opponent, a second assassin, but was dismayed to see his three projectiles shot right out of the air by a volley of reddened blasts from the opposite end of the room. Horrified, Ed turned his head in that direction and watched as the first assassin climbed its way back up onto the balcony, its weapon no less sharp-looking than before. It was quickly joined by another Pirate compatriot with the same weapon configurations.
"Flanked and with nowhere to turn, the Outlaw must make the greatest sacrifice…!" Ed mumbled aloud, swiftly working himself out of the small crater he had left in the wall, taking a few seconds to count the number of assassins lurching toward him with homicidal intent; he was hardly a pro with numbers, but he knew the arithmetic of this situation:
Three Space Pirates were probably as bad as an upset Sarah.
"Ah! Space Pirate army bad for Ed!"
Ed quickly dropped the theatrics and considered common sense for once, sprinting directly toward the Space Pirate nearest him, which also happened to be the one that was blocking the door leading out of the massive containment chamber. Scoffing at such ludicrousness, the assassin readied its blade for a swift slice across the Earthling's throat, but was distracted by a volley of Power Beam shots directed at its face. The assailant ducked and deflected the shots quite professionally with its blade, but in its attempts it had failed to notice one key aspect: Ed had booked it right past it and was already high-tailing it out the door.
The three Space Pirate assassins swiftly bolted through the door in hot pursuit of the human intruder, of course.
"…Trouble! Bad! Big! Run faster, Russell!"
He had made the smart decision, but the problem was that Ed was not the fastest of runners, and had never once seriously considered joining the track team at school; what was worse, this particular hallway seemed more like a cavern, and thus was decorated with knee-deep furnishings of sticky snow, which Ed could only try to romp through. How frustrating!
The Space Pirates, on the other hand, simply pounced across the walls, blathering and roaring in unintelligible tongues like wild mountain lions chasing an injured goat. Ed attempted to pot-shot a few of them as he hopelessly tried to push through the thick snow, but the assassins were much too agile for him, not to mention they were pretty freaking close enough to cut off his head with a single swing anyway.
"Uh…uh…stay away!" he blared, inches away from a lethal sword-swing. "Do not force me to use my photon cannon!
"Oh wait, I think I left that at home, silly me…"
Wizzz-shiiiiing!
Ed snapped back into reality and looked in the direction he was running, immediately slowing to a stop with a wide-open jaw, watching as three more Space Pirate assassins dropped down from the upper hatch; instantly recognizing him as an intruder, they wasted no time in diving straight toward him, weapons extended and armor shimmering in the light of their sun-colored blades.
"We are not long for this world, Russell!"
"Ah…haha…m-my, aren't you a large one?"
It was not nearly as massive as, say, the monstrous Flaahgra, nor was it a hideous insectoid abomination, but this sure was not your average, run-of-the-mill infant Sheegoth. Currently backed up against the far western wall of the grandiose Chozo chapel, Edd had found himself faced eye-to-eye with what he presumed to be the alpha male of the entire Sheegoth pack…or at least, eye-to-six-eyes. The creature was roughly the size of an African elephant, dwarfing the other infants currently wrangled in the center of the snowed-in chapel by quite a margin, and, unlike its lesser-developed brethren, it sported six sky-blue optical organs on its skull.
…But Edd really hesitated to call them eyes – they looked far too lifeless to be compared to those of a normal animal. The icing on the cake, of course, was the crystalline array of spiked icicles jutting outward from its back, where an infant variant would normally sport a protective dorsal shell – these, Edd figured, probably served the purpose of protection and skewering whatever idiotic enemy dared to attempt an aerial assault.
Um…alrighty then…let's try to avoid an unexpected acupuncture appointment…or at least an unfortunate trip through the digestive cycle!
And, of course, the teeth. Yes, these were pretty similar to those sported by the infants, though there were probably about three times more of them within the gaping maw of this creature – the more, the merrier, after all!
Frankly, Edd would have far preferred chancing upon the abominable snowman. Or six of them.
If I'm to develop a means for escape, or at least a way to subdue this behemoth, I'd better be quick about it! thought Edd as he slowly began shimmying leftward along the wall, trying to move at a slow enough pace so that the beast would think he was actually stationary. Oh, what I would give for a…oh my.
Edd's eyes had fallen upon the very center of the room, and he just had to perform a double-take: the infant Sheegoths were also trembling in fear! Was such horror a result of simply being in the elder Sheegoth's presence? Edd was flabbergasted: if those things represented Jimmy, this mammoth was most definitely Sarah.
Edd grimaced nervously and chuckled, looking back at the alpha male. How discouraging! he thought.
As it approached Edd, it momentarily paused to apathetically punt the wrangled group of infants far to the other side of the room, where they continued to sit around in a drunken stupor. Then it turned its nefarious attention back to Edd…
…Or at least to where Edd had been. In the time frame of that quick attack, Edd had all but vanished from the vicinity.
Thankfully, his Boost Boots had been sufficient enough to allow him to make a speedy escape, and had served well in making sure that he left no tracks in the snow; thus it was no wonder that the Sheegoth had probably been unaware that this clever Earthling was already behind the creature, a charged Power Beam blast practically begging to be launched from his arm cannon.
Edd supposed that the creature's dorsal crystalline protrusions were far more resilient than the simple iced surfaces seen on lesser versions of the species, and thus concentrated his efforts on the beast's left hind leg; taking careful aim, he let loose the blast.
…But instead of a solid hit and a sharp bellow of pain from the Sheegoth, as he expected, something most peculiar occurred, and Edd could not decide whether he was either horrified or utterly fascinated by the phenomenon. He watched as his unleashed vermillion orb somehow curved away from the creature's leg and instead struck the creature's dorsal spikes, whereupon the blast immediately dispersed into electrical energy along the creature's spikes, diffusing into its body, and strangely enough, this did not seem to damage it. He felt as if he could have chucked a bucket full of water at the Sheegoth and it would have given the same result.
Now this right here…is fascinating, thought Edd as he slowly began charging up another blast, eager to test out his newest hypothesis. I may be kicking myself later on for enacting such a reckless experiment, but…
Unfortunately, the Sheegoth had noticed Edd at that point, and therefore turned around and opened its expansive maw, unleashing a wild torrent of stale breath toward Edd's position. Edd thought nothing of it initially, reckoning that it did not compare to some of the abhorrent smells oft-beheld in Ed's room…
But that was before his left arm had gradually become glazed with an impenetrable layer of solid ice.
"What the-by Jove!" shouted the boy as he speedily boosted away from the path of the Sheegoth's breath, his horror-filled eyes fixated upon his popsicle-arm. The Varia Suit could not stand up to this, apparently, for within a few seconds the feeling in this crucial extremity had already begun to slightly wane. "The Sheegoth's breath…has sub-zero properties? Oh, this is unheard of! Good Lord…this is not…good!"
Well, at least he did not realize that the sub-zero breath had also afflicted the tip of his hat.
This mighty creature was also mighty intelligent, for it decided to use the boy's dismay as an opportunity to strike, and had immediately begun to charge toward him like a berserk bull toward a red curtain. In quick response, his mind a-race with thoughts of thawing his arm before effects of hypothermia began to settle in, Edd blasted yet another quickly-charged Power Beam blast directly toward the beast's mouth, intending to give it a solid mouthful of searing plasma energy, but the same results occurred: the shot simply curved away from the Sheegoth's mouth and dispersed into its back-crystals.
Drat! Not good! It has a natural fail-safe against my weaponry! He boosted away as fast as he could and was able, with a bit of luck, to escape the beast's ferocious killing pounce. But his victory was short-lived, for before he could even begin to flip through his survival options or potential means of escape, it was already too late.
It happened in about two seconds.
The crystals on the Sheegoth's back, glittering alight with multicolored shades of raw energy (fueled by both of Edd's Power Beam shots), entered the Sheegoth's body, and, in a flash, the mammoth creature parted its jaw once more and launched from its throat a hurtling ball of raw electrical energy aimed directly at Edd. This blast traveled at bullet-speed, and Edd could not even mentally react to it.
It hit the boy dead-on in the chest, sending him flying about ten meters through the air and straight into the nearby stone wall. With nothing more than a simple "urk!" the boy fell face-first onto the snow-carpeted chapel floor.
He did not budge an inch after that, and the snow had begun to accumulate on his body after a few seconds.
It was a fact that the Sheegoth's ace-in-the-hole rarely failed, which was precisely why it was near the very top of Tallon IV's food chain. This small earthling was, unfortunately, just another link in that chain, a victim of the unforgiving and never-ending biological process. A beast of stone-heartedness, its eyes reflected neither pity nor empathy for the boy's situation, though its mouthful of teeth was opened in what could have been described as an unfeeling, victorious grimace.
And so the gargantuan creature diverted its attention to the other side of the chapel, where the four infant Sheegoths lay wrangled, now completely aware and ravenous for sustenance. As was the way of a Sheegoth alpha male, the larger creature slowly stomped over toward them with the intent to free them and let them have their meal, its seismic stomps causing the entire Chozo temple to resonate with debilitating quakes…
Whhhhhhirrrrrr-shoooom!
Through its thick skin, the Sheegoth had almost disregarded the strange tingling feeling resonating on the thick, leathery hide of its back left leg, but its instincts were keen enough to compel it to look back to the other side of the chamber, where the most bizarre occurrence it had ever witnessed happened to be taking place.
"Take it away, momentum-centric physics!"
Ah, yes! The tenacious gears in Edd's daredevilish mind never ceased, and his latest tactic was most definitely among his most commendable! His Grapple Beam firmly lassoed around the Sheegoth's back left leg, Edd zoomed straight toward the creature at break-neck speed, his Boost Boots propelling him along the way. Confused and rightly irritated, as well as noticing that the boy's left arm had been freed of its ice-prison, the monster's car-crushing jaws opened wide, intending to vacuum him up as soon as he entered its range…and perhaps chew him up a bit before spitting him out for the others to feast on.
But Edd couldn't help but inwardly chuckle at the beast's predictability! As soon as he witnessed it do this, he swerved hard to the left and began to travel in an extraordinarily wide circle around the Sheegoth; in fact, just for good measure, he passed around the creature about half a dozen times, as he was quite the perfectionist and wanted to make sure he got this one right.
But when Edd stopped about twenty meters in front of the monster, the Sheegoth had noticed the boy's pattern and pounced at him with all of the ravenous ferocity it could muster.
…And within moments of doing so, it crashed clumsily to the ground, immobilized, helpless, confused, and utterly defeated. Edd had wrapped his Grapple Beam around all four of the beast's legs, rendering each and every one of its limbs completely wrangled together and utterly useless.
He had hogtied a freaking Sheegoth.
"Alright, it has become much too warm for my liking!" Edd practically shouted as he hastily removed his Varia Suit's coat-piece, folded it, and placed it gently on the ground. Letting out a relieved sigh, he removed his arm cannon and visor, wiping his forehead several times as he waited for his body temperature to regress back to a normal state. "Ahhh, much better.
"Though I must say that it is quite convenient that I can personally customize the temperature settings of the Varia Suit – had I not been able to increase it of my own free will, my arm would have never thawed from its frozen state. I shudder to think of what would have happened then!"
It took a few moments, but eventually it hit him: he was as dizzy as never before, and had to practically fall on his back in order to gain even a slight bit of control. He had never traveled at such fast speeds before; again, something that he thought only Kevin had the courage to do. But he could not have attacked the Sheegoth with his conventional weapons after figuring out exactly how its natural defenses worked: the spikes on its back were able to draw in and absorb any form of concentrated energy, which could then be stored and used by the Sheegoth at a whim. It had taken a direct hit in the chest with hisown energy to figure it out, but hey, he had succeeded in the end.
So he lay there, breathing deeply with closed eyes as he took in the cool winter atmosphere, trying to reorder the spiraling world back to the way he knew it.
Once I manage to reconvene with Ed and Eddy, I will officially resign from performing these reckless stunts. The thought of being able to put his trust in his friends in the midst of such dangerous situations put a smile on his face – it was something he greatly looked forward to. A team effort! That was what was needed if they were to survive this ordeal! The only problem would be convincing both Ed and Eddy not to overdo their Space Outlaw shenanigans…especially Ed, he of the overactive imagination and the overbuttered toast.
A rumbling in the northern section of the room, about fifteen feet from his position, caused Edd to stir from his short rest, and while his head was still a bit groggy from all of that ludicrous spinning-around, he took some comfort in noticing that the northern wall had receded, unveiling the glimmering light he had seen before his run-in with the Sheegoths.
"Ah, the prize awaits the victor…" chuckled the boy halfheartedly, slowly donning his coat-piece, arm cannon, and visor one by one before hurrying along to the hovering artifact – he had to admit that he was a bit anxious of what he was about to discover. It was always quite an experience to gain a new mechanism to use, and although Edd could not tell exactly what or who had left these artifacts behind, he was grateful that they were there. It was a mystery to be solved another day, he figured.
So, with a bit of apprehension and with a touch of curiosity, he slowly placed his hand in the light…and it, as always, diffused into the atmosphere.
Edd waited for the instinctive feeling that something within his Varia Suit system had been modified…it did not come until about ten seconds later, actually, but eventually it did; and it was a bit more subtle than the last one.
Curious… thought Edd as he rotated his forearm a bit, followed by his wrist, followed by every digit on his right hand. Something felt…strange, to be honest. There appears to have been some modification concerning the interior of my arm cannon…it's as my hand has more…wiggle-room, to put it one way.
His right hand was beginning to cramp up anyway, always being in the same position, and since the interior of his weapon had become a bit more comfortable and spacious, he decided to stretch out his fingers. Ah, that's more like it…and yet…
Whirrrr-clack.
The sound nearly caused Edd to jump in surprise, and probably because it resonated so close to him, and he definitely felt it reverberate throughout his arm. He looked at his arm cannon, curious as to what had happened, and was, to put it one way, astounded by what he saw.
His weapon had geometrically widened, by quite a sizeable margin, to be exact. What was more, the different components that made up the arm cannon had to be a bit spaced-out, and were unable to stretch themselves, and Edd saw that there was a luminous violet glow emanating from in between these components…as if they were coming from the "depths" of the cannon. Engaged, Edd wanted to know exactly how he had caused this to happen. He gave a thumbs-up gesture with his right hand…and the cannon closed up again. He then spread out his fingers horizontally…and the cannon opened up horizontally in correspondence.
He did this over and over until something finally occurred to him.
Edd made a trigger-pulling motion with all of his fingers; the result was hardly comparable to that of the Power Beam he had come to know like a brother.
Instead, what blasted out from his weapon was a three-pronged, snaking blast of violet energy that, upon striking the opposite wall, sent bolts of electron energy skittering in all directions along the surface. Edd did this again…and again…until he noticed quite a few patterns. The shots traveled substantially slower than those of the Power Beam, but seemed to be charged with electrons.
The horrible shocking feeling that one gets when one is electrocuted by a faulty circuit…my arm cannon now possesses the ability to transit that feeling in the form of a projectile…
"…Thus are the capabilities of the 'Wave Beam'," recited Edd as he carefully scoured the array of data that had sprung up on his visor shortly after he had first activated this alternate weapon. So many things he could do now…he felt a bit like Thor himself, with the power of lightning itself at his very hands!
But I suppose that kind of line is best reserved for someone like Ed! he thought with a chuckle.
The new addition to his arsenal made him feel quite a bit safer and more capable of defending himself, but it did not enlighten his weary and well-traveled spirit, and as Edd looked through the large opening in the chapel ceiling, he could tell that nightfall would be approaching within the next two or three hours. "I'd better head out and find shelter somewhere," muttered Edd to himself, glancing warily over to the four constrained and ravenous infant Sheegoths and the equally-disabled gargantuan one. "No no no, this place is unsuitable for camping out. I could relish in a bit more excavation of the Phendrana region, but I'll need to decide on a definite spot in which to spend the night. Maybe I should scout out the shoreline…"
The nap that he had taken about an hour ago had helped him regain some of the energy he lost between opening the Ed-to-Go stand and traveling through the Magmoor Caverns, but he did not feel fully satiated yet; it would not be long before his absolute bed-time would creep up on him. He exited the Chozo chapel and used his Space Jump Boots to slowly hover down the frozen waterfall to the base of the temple, at which point the entrance to the site was in sight. Once he was there, he flicked his left forearm a tad, disengaging the Grapple Beam lassoes around the Sheegoths back in the chapel, freeing them from captivity.
Edd then mulled over spending the night in this ancient outpost, but there was something about sleeping amidst spirits and gazing statues that made him a tad uneasy.
And so he stepped back out onto the shoreline and saw the alien sun reflected in the area's recognizable winding river. He could not see any decent camping spots around the area, but he'd probably have to excavate the area a bit more actively before he came to that conclusion.
"Then again, there is always the tunnel leading to the elevator to Magmoor," mused Edd as he surveyed the site, having not seen it from his northwestern position, nor from this altitude. He could see the southern skyline of Phendrana from this vista…or at least what was not blocked by endless trails of mountains and jagged expanses. It still looked breathtaking all the same.
"But until then, I wonder if there would be any point to further studying this region," he continued, looking across the alien horizon. "I could always sit down and recalculate my priorities, but that would just…be…a…a…
"…oh, by Jove…is that what I think it is?!"
Edd's heart jumped, and so did he. His soul aflame with a rekindled excitement and sense of commitment, he practically leaped straight off of the cliff and toward the ones near the south, darting across the cliff-edges as fast as he could and through the mountain trails that led to the far south…
…The far south of Phendrana, where Edd saw the smoke billowing from what had to have been a crashed escape pod, blooming ever so slowly into the overcast sky of Tallon IV.
"Uh…wow, that was weird. Okay, uh…so…where was I going again?"
It was never easy reverting back to a survival-oriented mindset after witnessing something that was as mind-blowingly astounding as a gigantic crater and an equally-large slab of levitating earth above it, but Eddy knew that in his current situation, survival was paramount. Trying to jolt his mind back into the scenario, he stepped off of the now-dormant elevator and onto the freshly-tiled floors of the open hallway that elongated before him.
Oh, how he did not want to know where those tiles would lead him.
"So, what, more Space Pirate losers? Pshh, this can't get any worse than the first floor."
He did not know what the second subterranean level of these so-called 'Phazon Mines' had to offer him that was any different from the last, but he was hoping that security would be as lenient as it was back on that one. In total, he had encountered but one Space Pirate that he had no choice but to fight off, while the other three that he had seen were easily evaded thanks to his stunning acrobatic abilities.
There were those long lines of them in the courtyard outside of the complex, but he had no idea where those guys had disappeared to, nor the things that were held within the crates that they had been toting. He remembered that the creatures in those boxes somewhat resembled mutated jellyfish, but he couldn't quite recall exactly what he had seen. He did not care either way, because…well, he was Eddy.
But his musings were quickly interrupted when his nose picked up a bizarre scent as he passed through this dank hallway. The place smelled a tad more…foul, really. Inhabited. Like something was there, or near there.
"Ugh, smells like the bathroom in Ed's basement," he scoffed, covering his nose as he looked around, remaining wary of his surroundings.
The upper levels sort of varied between smelling like natural caverns and empty school hallways, because they had been pretty empty. But it felt as if this place was a-buzz with activity, or at least it was until recently.
It was like stepping into your own house and realizing that someone else was there with you, and Eddy obviously had a hunch as to who the "someone else" was.
So surely, one could not blame Eddy for feeling more than a little frightened when the automatic door at the end of the hallway slowly whirr-ed open upon recognizing his presence. He peeked out of the doorway and stuck his arm cannon out, scoping the area out multiple times in order to make sure the coast was clear…both floors, that was, though the large gridded balcony above seemed pretty devoid of Space Pirate flunkies…and hey, the ground level looked pretty clear, as well.
"Alright, lucked out again!" he whispered to himself. "They must've gotten word about how I kicked that first Pirate's butt. Yeah, they're probably runnin' scared right now!
"Uh…holy cow…would ya look at all those TV's!"
There was a heck of a lot of stuff to peruse: numerous computer clusters and terminal stations lined the walls of the expansive chamber and speckled the room so thickly that Eddy found it quite hard to even maneuver through the area – it felt as if he were in a high-tech version of a stereotypical business office…except subterranean, of course. "Man, is it Christmas already? Because those are some pretty lame decorations."
But the near-comical amount of computers and gadgets within the area was not what had eventually made his aching jaw practically drop to the floor; that honor went to the thirty-foot-tall containment tank standing stalwart in the center of it all, like a massive monolith erected in a sea of technology. Much like the one he had seen on Level One, the glass surface of this one was tainted with an electric blue tint, although there was no obscuring cloud of fog to block his sight this time; the horrific specimen inside the tank was all-too visible to Eddy.
And boy, was that thing gargantuan.
Even standing on the tips of his toes, Eddy could not even stand at shin-level compared to the thirty-foot-tall, hulking monstrosity within. A Space Pirate with heavily augmented muscle mass and a vast colony of mechanical weapons systems all over its body was staring unconsciously in Eddy's general direction, its head hanging down and its arms crossed in cold stasis.
"Man, talk about getting buff in a week," murmured Eddy sarcastically upon gaining control of his ability to speak; he was referring, of course, to the beast's unnatural-looking muscle man, which struck him as particularly nasty. "I'd love to see the look on Kevin's face if he saw this. Urgh, I wish I had an elephant-cage to bring this thing home in!"
He chuckled insidiously at the image of himself strolling down Kevin's driveway with this behemoth of a Space Pirate on a leash – Kevin would be pancake batter in seconds flat!
At least, he thought it was a Space Pirate – the thing was so hideously malformed and gargantuan that it looked so incomparable to the other, more lithe versions of the species he had seen before. Plus, he had no idea what all of those bulging, glowing blue tumors all over its body were supposed to be, but they looked highly unnatural.
'The Space Pirates are mutating these poor creatures, gentlemen!'
"…Oh yeah, now I remember! Double Dee said something about these guys or somethin'…" He was vaguely reminded of Edd's words on the Orpheon; was this yet another result of the Pirates' sinister experimentations? Was this, in a way, a Parasite Queen 2.0? To be willing to mutate their own kind, these Pirates had to be quite cold-hearted, or even devoid of such an organ.
Appropriately, Eddy remembered the time when he and Edd had turned their dear friend Ed into a 'monster'…the damage done to the cul-de-sac had been immense by the end of that day. Maybe he was not the right person to make such accusations?
Eddy glanced over at the terminals, but was far too uninterested in the data held within to expend the effort necessary to decipher the Space Pirate text. Wanting to take the easy way out, he stood as far back from them as possible and tried to scan the clusters as a whole, but his visor was only able to refer him to common repeating words within the systems…meaningless scientific words such as "Phazon", "Helix", "Phendrana", "Omega", and "Metroid", which he just dismissed.
The word "Prime" also came up several times, which reminded Eddy that it was 'prime' time to ditch the place before the flashing lights of LCD screens made him queasy. He space-jumped up onto the second floor balcony, completely skipping the stairs…and, woefully, he was greeted by yet another expansive array of computers and gizmos. "Sheesh, what feebs these guys are. Where are all the cartoon shows?" He wanted to spit on the floor in a gesture of distaste, but frankly, he had not had anything to drink all day…he could have killed for a soda.
The door, however, looked much more appealing than this array of screens, and through it Eddy quickly went. A sizeable ventilation shaft greeted him, but failed to keep his attention, as well; deeming it 'boring', he quickly passed it by, finding it equally unremarkable.
Stepping cautiously through the next door, Eddy could have sworn that he had gone in the wrong direction, for he had found himself in yet another giant laboratory area riddled with terminals, although possibly the only difference this time was that he had entered on the second floor instead of the first.
"Oh, come on!" he scoffed through gritted teeth. "What could be so interesting that the Pirates would need so many freakin' computers?"
Putting his arm cannon back on his…well, arm…he silently scoffed at his situation; Edd would have been a much more suitable prisoner within this complex, and with such a vast network of data to sift through, it was doubtful that he would have been bored. A doorway on the bottom floor beckoned him, and he did not feel like going through all of those computers and searching every nook and cranny for clues pertaining to the crater outside, so that was a much more welcome alternative. Maybe he'd find a window sooner or later?
Heck, at least he was glad that the Space Pirates seemed to have a general aversion to staying on Level Two, as well. "Those guys still haven't shown up yet. Less work for me, I guess. Just the way I like it."
But those…things. The mutated, gargantuan Space Pirates; there were three of them in large containment tanks scattered throughout the room, dormant, but still haunting nonetheless.
He had no choice but to persist in his travels, but Eddy felt as if something big was waiting for him at the end of these mines, if there was an end. And at this rate…well, it seemed like he was eventually going to discover just what the Space Pirates were doing here, whether he liked it or not.
Time seemed to slow to a stop, as if fate really wanted Ed to come to terms with how terrible his situation was.
After all, he knew what it was like to be flanked by an angry mob of neighborhood kids, as well as the nefarious Kanker Sisters; one could not get more unlucky than that, for sure! But then again, three Space Pirate assassins whirling toward his head with outstretched blades just itching to lacerate his skin were quite comparable and then some. Plus, no matter which direction he whirled his perspiring head, his eyes always met with those of the Pirates, and the murderous bloodlust therein.
He did not even have enough time for a dramatic narrative -- that was how daunting the situation was!
In the midst of his panic, however, he took notice of one crucial detail, one that nearly anyone else would have missed: the door that he had just entered through had not closed just yet, though it probably would in just a few seconds…perhaps even less than that. He could not plan out his next action, for he did not have the mental capacity for it, but his instincts were more than a suitable substitute. He lashed his left arm out, his Grapple Beam whizz-ing through the frost-laden air and past the unaware Pirates, wrapping tightly around the railing of the third-floor balcony in the large room he had was in before.
"Tally-ho! Hang on to your horses!" With a compulsive tug on his part, the beam yanked him like a yo-yo straight back into the other room, smoothly sailing past the three flabbergasted Pirates that had been pursuing him from that direction, and with an eye-squinting ka-thunk! his head crashed hard against the railing like a vehicle into a guard rail. Luckily enough, though, his diversion had worked, and the six Pirates nearly collided with each other...some of them did, actually!
"Haha, ouch! Ah, the Outlaw was too fast for the Space Pirate bounty hunters!"
Ed smiled stupidly for a moment or two, pleased that he at least got that bit of narration out, and he quickly took account of the situation, looking back toward the snow-encrusted hallway; the Pirates seemed to be bickering amongst themselves, probably berating one another for such shoddy assassination work.
This was his chance.
"Shhhhh!" gestured Ed to his own arm cannon as he quickly ran around to the other side of the balcony. "Be quiet, Russell…if the Space Pirates know we've escaped, they'll call in reinforcements and chase after us…and we will be goners!"
But once he was at the other side, near the staircase leading down to the bottom floor, he had a sudden change of heart, as he often did, and indulged himself in firing a mind-bogglingly swift barrage of missiles toward the hallway. He had never fired this many of the explosive projectiles, that was for sure. In the end, many of them did not even make it into the doorway and simply crashed and exploded into the nearby walls.
But a grand majority of them did barrel down the hallway; explosions sounded, bright white lights shimmered blindingly from the doorway, enveloping the area in a mist of thick white brilliance. The guttural shrieks and pained growls of Space Pirates had topped it all off.
Sure, he had probably taken a few of them out, but one thing was for certain; he was still utterly trapped in the long run, though he did not realize it yet. The only other option would be to retreat to the caverns from whence he came…but what if the Pirates pursued him into that network? He preferred not to think it through, however, and he could not even if he tried. Hence, he bolted for the staircase leading to the lower floors, trying to escape the insurgency.
But before he could reach the stairway, a horrendous battle-cry sounded from behind, and before he could react, an elongated, hooked foot crashed into the left side of his face; the Space Pirate's brutal kick sent the boy careening downward two stories toward the bottom of the chamber, where he crashed face-first into the hard tiled floor.
He fought the debilitating grasp of unconsciousness and rose to his feet as quickly as he could; thankfully his precious visor was not damaged in any way. "Whoa…what time of day is it, ma'am?" he half-consciously chortled, turning to the massive containment tank he had seen upon first entering the room from the caverns. "Wup! Sorry, I hit my head, see? A-yup, that's gonna leave a mark!"
Regaining his senses a bit, he looked upward, toward the very top of the room, and saw that there was yet another Space Pirate up there; it must have been the one that had kicked him in the face and sent him crashing to the floor below! Cutting the theatrics for the moment, Ed set his arm cannon's sights toward that direction and prepared to fire another missile, as was customary.
Ka-clank! Ka-clank! Ka-clank!
"Agh! Soap!" screamed Ed, terribly frightened by the sudden noises sounding directly behind him. His heart sunk as he turned around as quickly as he could, facing yet another link in this chain of unfortunate events: t'was not soap, thankfully, but he was gazing at the hunched, insectoid forms of three more Space Pirate assassins! Nervously mumbling to himself, he backed away as slowly as he could, biting his lower lip and gazing through wide-open eyes, nerve-shot as he fidgeted his arm cannon threateningly at all three of them. His threats could not pass his trembling lips.
Ka-clank! Ka-clank! Ka-clank! Ka-clank!
"Deodorant!" Ed spun around, his heart practically in his throat at the second surprise. Four more assassins, and from the top of the room, he could hear an array of similar ka-clank-ing noises.
The whole freaking security force was dropping in on his position, and Ed did not have enough pee in his system to wet his pants, so he did the only thing he could have done in such a situation:
"P-prepare to be cast into the netherworld, invaders from the unknown!"
And with that, the room exploded in a silver haze of missiles, the spirit of a Space Outlaw shining forth from Ed's stalwart silhouette.
"Oh, what I would give for some hot cocoa, or at least a well-furnished fireplace!"
The winding paths and tunnels in the southern mountain ranges of Phendrana had proven to be both physically challenging and mentally grueling, though when Edd stepped out of this particular tunnel, he found at least a small smidge of solace.
Stepping out into a small vale surrounded by looming white mountainous peaks, Edd found himself at the base of what appeared to be a miniature lake, complete with what he supposed to be a large, icy pike jutting out from the center and rising high into the sky, upon which rested a large platform roughly the size of a typical driveway. It looked vaguely artificial, so naturally he wanted to get up there and analyze its composition, but the problem was, well…actually getting there.
"My Space Jump Boots probably won't be able to propel me to that kind of height," he mused, surveying the area for something that would help him ascend to the top of the clearing. "And the cliff walls in this area are much too steep to scale…I could construct an artificial ladder, but I'd require the proper materials…"
A series of large snow-tipped stepping stones lined the expanse of the lake, but the waters were far too shallow to make use of them – the lake's waters would have to be about twenty feet higher or so.
When he gazed far upward along the mountain walls, he noticed something most peculiar – stationed to the northwest, southeast, and so on, were four large ornate chutes with sizeable grates installed upon their openings. Supposing them to be mechanisms, he searched the premises for a way to somehow activate them, and it was not long before his ever-resourceful scan visor offered him the key to the situation.
Very near him, along the shorelines of the lake, was a mechanical panel on the ground that looked vaguely similar to a weight-measurer; his visor instructed him to step upon it and activate his Boost Boot module. When he did so, he noticed that, far above, the gratings had all lifted, opening up each chute. Edd smiled at the resourcefulness of his visor, and decided that there must have been another step in order to give him the passage he needed.
"Call me crazy…" he began, keeping his eyes ever-active as he scanned the area, eventually spotting a strange device about ten feet upward along the northernmost mountain wall. "But I believe this will take some environmental redecorating…!"
He carefully sidled along the narrow shoreline over to that area. He gave the mechanism a quick run-down with his scan visor, and what-ho, it appeared to be a receptacle for an electro-statically generated bomb. Quickly understanding the logic, he generated a bomb of his own within the palm of his left hand and inserted it within the slot, jumping away and onto one of the stepping-stones on the water's surface. He watched as it exploded, then turned to the sky.
"Judging from the unnatural level of humidity in this area, I'm guessing that there is a large basin of water behind these cliff walls...and seeing as how these chutes come from that same area…"
His predictions had once again come to pass; a torrent of water gushed forth from each massive chute, pouring into the lake and increasing the water level at a relatively rapid rate. Standing on one of the stepping stones that rose along with the water level, Edd proudly watched as the lower part of the vale became completely submerged with water, and the high-up platform that he had eyed before was now in reach. A simple Space-Jump was all that was needed at this point to reach it, and it was only a slight hop before he found himself standing upon it, overlooking the newly-renovated lake.
"There we go! Nothing like a bit of exterior decorating, hm?" he remarked, taking a moment to brush the snow droplets off of his visor.
Luckily enough, at this greatly-increased altitude, he could see the pillar of smoke he had seen from the shorelines, blooming in the southern sky; however, it was much closer now, probably only a mile away…maybe even less than that, which meant that only a single mountain range stood between him and the source of the smoke, which he supposed to be either Ed or Eddy's crash site.
"Which means I'm getting close," he mumbled. The large platform was gracious enough to provide Edd with two possible paths: one to the west, which led into a less-elevated portion of the Phendrana range, and one to the south, which led through a higher portion of the range and toward the smoke in the distance – ultimately, the latter was his destination, though he could not help but wonder why exactly passage through both paths was constricted by two hexagonal, shimmering automated doorways.
"That's strange…first the computer terminal at the shorelines, and now these artificially-constructed doorways…" He marched toward the southern door, a solemn archway of metal watching him stride under its expanse. "I can't help but think that this is an omen of things to come, but if that smoke doesn't say 'escape pod', then I don't know what will…oh, confound it!"
This automated door proved steadfast and would not react to Edd's attempts to open it; he tried to pry it open manually, but someone of Edd's physical stature was hardly one to accomplish such a feat – he'd need Ed's horse-like strength to get past this one, and for all he knew, he was about a mile or two away; close, but not close enough.
"I suppose I'll have to try the other door; perhaps it will lead me to a convenient detour?"
Thus he chanced upon the other door, this one inset within a small alcove of industrial design, bordered by metal and presented at the very end of a steel-tiled floor, much like the platform that he had just been on. Luckily, this portal opened upon sensing his presence, and Edd was rather taken aback when a path of highly-technological design, rather than an expansive natural tunnel of snow, unfurled before him.
He coerced himself to step inside, as he really had no choice, but the place just felt…uncomfortable.
A network of coolant pipes welded into the wall to his right; tubes of a virulent blue substance running along a parallel system to his left; holographic maps of garbled data projected and humming quietly above his head; the technology was astoundingly fascinating, sure, but in a malign way…it was like looking at a piece of art that you thought was well-painted, but one that you knew was amoral in its intention and themes.
Worst of all, it felt…familiar.
Where have I seen this before? It certainly doesn't feel new to me, odd as it is to find such a place in a place like Phendrana… He slowed his pace and the clank-a-clank of his boots against the ground slowly grew to a stop as he drew parallels between the soulless machinery surrounding him and something he had seen earlier this week…earlier this day…
I'm beginning to think that this venture may not be in my best interest…
Edd started to take a few nervous steps back toward the entrance from whence he came. This place reminded him of the Orpheon.
Clank-a-clank-a-clank…
Grrr-raaaaaagh!
"Yaaaaaaagh!"
It was such a good thing that Edd did not turn his back to the hallway, for he would not have seen the limber, seven-foot-tall assassin hurtling toward him from the ceiling! It was simply by instinct that he fired his weapon, the Wave Beam, in the assailant's general direction, but his shot was far-off; the assassin wall-jumped before his shot could hit and it dropped in behind him, taking a swift swing at his scrawny neck.
Edd blocked the blow with his arm cannon, pretty much by accident, though that did not deter the assassin from grabbing him by the throat and hurling him down the corridor, where he landed and skidded on his back. The plating provided by his Varia Suit helped him withstand the otherwise debilitating blow, but he was not quick enough to rise to his feet before the monster was in his face again.
And it only took Edd a fragment of a second to realize that he was beholding the wretched, stale breath of a 100% authentic Space Pirate.
"Good Lord! What in heaven's name are you doing here?!" In a flash his arm cannon was in the Pirate's face, but his weapon was punched out of the way just as he fired a missile.
And then a pain most unimaginable entered his abdomen, and Edd doubled over; he had received a punch directly to his stomach.
The Pirate took this opportunity to activate a second blade on its right arm, and when he looked back down to skewer the Earthling through the skull a few times, he noticed that his target was gone, and an electrostatic bomb was fluctuating in his place.
Edd was reeling, but he managed to be right behind the Pirate right when the bomb went off; the blast must have fractured the beast's shinbone or at least inflicted some serious burns on it, because it was on one knee in a flash…and on its face after receiving three concussive missiles to its spinal column.
"Urk…I'm going to be sick…! Calm down, Eddward…calm down…deep breaths…"
Edd's scan visor determined that the Pirate was deceased, and for the best. Now Edd could sit down and try to let his digestive system reorganize itself. He eternally thanked his Varia Suit's resilience, for that one blow probably would have killed him had he not been wearing it – he was just lucky that the punch had not connected with his rib cage.
But…a Space Pirate, here! In Phendrana! On Tallon IV! he thought, his mind racing at this revelation. So Ridley did come here for a reason…he must be chaperoning these Space Pirates in…whatever they're doing! This explains the computer terminals in the Magmoor Caverns…that place must have been a source of geothermal power for the Pirates.
He took a deep breath and considered a few more possibilities.
This must be another Pirate complex. Who knows how many of them they've established on this planet? What if…what if Ed and Eddy have…
The thought of his friends meeting up with these vile creatures made his stomach churn with apprehension.
After such an ambush, Edd was understandably reluctant to proceed any further…but he had persevered before, and this time it seemed he had no choice but to do it again. He figured that it would be just like heading through the Orpheon again…without Ed and Eddy to back him up, of course. Not too hard, right?
Not right; he was scared to death. Then again, this was his chance to find out exactly what the Pirates were doing on Tallon IV – if he passed this opportunity up…well, what would he do then?
So what little amount of courage he had left had driven him to take the nervous steps necessary to reach the next doorway, which opened up rather quickly at his presence, startling him but good. Hesitantly he stepped outward into a very large room consisting of two floors, the second one being a high-reaching balcony. But at least the coast was clear, so it was a bit easier to step out into the open than it should have been.
It was at that point that something quite peculiar caught his eye. From the very top of the room fluttered down a small object, metallic in design with a small glaring yellow eye-mechanism peering out toward his general direction, reminiscent of a hummingbird. It stopped about a foot before his nerve-wracked face and stared lifelessly at him for a moment or two.
"…Strange," commented Edd as he stepped forward in order to examine the bizarre little widget, having never seen anything quite like it. "What in heaven's name is-"
…And that was when the shrill, piercing sound of an alarm began to reverberate throughout the chamber, his surroundings flashing on-and-off in crimson hue as the creature exited and a monstrous flurry of stampeding footsteps rattled throughout the vicinity…and before Edd knew it, three freaking Space Pirates had burst into the room from the door at the other end of the area! With vicious talons toting weapons similar to Edd's own, they pointed in his general direction, blathering obscenities in alien tongue as they poised themselves to take down the intruder.
And boy did Edd scream.
Quick on his feet, the boy ducked behind one of the many metallic pillars lining the room, just in time to avoid a veritable swarm of red energy blasts that probably would have transformed him into something akin to Swiss cheese. This was mind-bogglingly dangerous and all, but more importantly, he had two questions on his mind at that moment that practically begged answers:
'Why in the world are the Space Pirates operating a base in, of all places, Phendrana', and 'how do I get rid of them without getting killed off myself?'
He had an idea, though, and he'd definitely have to risk getting his face blown off in the process, but if there was anything that Eddy had taught him over the years, it's that one must take chances every once in a while, no matter how stupid and utterly reckless they were.
Thus he charged a Wave Beam shot at the tip of his arm cannon and thanked the powers that were that the Pirates had not started dashing toward his position and instead remained far at the other end of the room, where they continued to fire a sporadic array of blasts at him.
Alright then…in three…two…one…!
His action was instantaneous: in an eyeblink he appeared from behind the pillar and aimed his arm cannon at one of the three Space Pirates and let fly his blast…and what a power-laden blast it was! A shimmering orb of violet and red hues, brimming and buzzing with a wellspring of crazed electrons, sailed quickly across the expansive room, and while the Pirate it was heading toward saw it coming and dove out of the way, it did not expect that the blast would have homing capabilities….Edd had only guessed that it would have such properties, himself! Thus, despite the Pirate's best efforts, the blast struck it squarely in the spine…
Edd had heard of fatal electrocution, but had never expected it to be so…grotesque. In an instant the Pirate's body had become hauntingly stiff, a bloodcurdling screech blaring forth from its throat as it remained as stiff as a board for about a few seconds before falling completely limp on the ground, its muscle systems twitching sporadically over and over again, a thin veil of smoke emanating from its lightly-fried carapace…its armor systems had been singed directly into its scaled flesh, and even from this distance Edd could smell it all too easily, and tried with all his might to deny the fact that it smelled like roast pork.
Ugh, disgusting! I hope that didn't anger his companions…oh, who am I kidding? They're fuming!
As he predicted, this provoked an even more hostile reaction from the other Pirates, though interestingly, both of them simply remained where they were, increasing their rate of fire on the boy's position. Edd reasoned that these were ordinary Space Pirate troopers, as they did not possess the tactical diligence of the assassin that he had just encountered…perhaps these were lower-ranking soldiers? Nevertheless Edd repeated his strategy twice more, each time with success, before he emerged the victor, his incredible equipment and weapons allowing him to outlast much longer than he should have.
"...The Wave Beam seems to be an effective weapon, but the Power Beam seems to be the more…um…humane approach," he reasoned, walking out from behind the pillar as he tried his best not to look in the general direction of the charred, twitching Pirate corpses he had just created. "Oh, but who am I kidding? Neither of them is a good route to take. Ah, well…let's see now, where in this confounded complex am I headed next?"
Now, he wanted to think better of it; he really should have at first, really, but the room that the Pirates had come from had to have been of some of significance, and so Edd decided to begin his investigation of this facility there.
To his great relief, the place was not as booby-trapped with ridiculous amounts of machine guns and whirring saw-blades as he as expected…rather, it was a pretty empty chamber, the main point of interest being a rather sizeable computer console before him, and seeing as how it was the only significant thing within the room besides the foul odor of Pirate breath, it seemed to be quite a significant apparatus.
Surely I can find something within this database…there has to be a reason why three Space Pirates were huddled around its monitor, right?
Curious, Edd fiddled around with its switches and levers until he noticed something quite bizarre: his visor had sent an audio indication to him, in the form of a cute little 'bleep', that its "databanks" had been updated. Wondering what this entailed, Edd tapped the visor a few times until his vision was marred by a dubious, tangerine-colored wireframe labeled with the cardinal directions, countless colored dots indicating doorways, and units indicating levels of elevation above or below Tallon IV's 'sea level'.
…Oh my…now this will definitely prove resourceful in my investigation!
Luckily for him, he had just chanced upon a digital map of the entire freaking facility.
He noted that the place was far more expansive than he originally thought: in fact, it extended pretty far and deep into the mountain range, and the very back end of the massive complex opened up into what appeared to be a ridiculously expansive network of honeycombed caverns, probably within the lowest portions of the mountain range. Coincidentally enough, this was located south of where he was…which was also where the smoke he saw earlier was coming from.
Which means that, if my calculations are correct and assuming that the smoke is indeed coming from an escape pod, either Ed or Eddy must have landed within those very caverns…well, this is fortunate! he thought, a smile upon his face as he disengaged the map after close study. Though this also means that one of them is quite close to this facility…I hope that the Pirates haven't chanced upon the site of the impact!
Right…there's no time to waste! Once I finish my investigation here, I must get to those networks!
And so without delay he left the map room and returned to the chamber he was in before, heading straight up to the second floor balcony and accessing the automated door there. He was a man on a mission, and nothing was about to stop him from saving his friends! The fates were on his side this day!
Edd seriously considered breaking down in tears and wallowing pitifully in defeat.
This was absolutely ludicrous. He had never seen so many Space Pirates in one place. There must have been…well, at the very least, fifteen of them scattered throughout the whole chamber. The door that Edd had found had led him into a labyrinth of sprawling, empty hallways vaguely reminiscent of the ones he had seen on the Orpheon, which ultimately led him to a monstrously huge two story room littered with vast arrays of computer terminals that he was just dying to peruse. In all honesty, who in their right mind would pass up such a treasure trove of data?
But just look at that! I haven't a chance of survival if I engage them in combat! he thought as he remained hidden in one of the room's darkest corners, his confidence shattered and wishing that his Varia Suit had come in a shade of black rather than luminescent vermillions and crimsons. He was out of sight, but getting to the other side of the room would be a trial and a half. I'll have to sneak my way over to the elevator at the southern end of the room, but they'll no doubt hear me if I try to walk. Even crawling is too risky an endeavor…
But what about...? Ah, yes, we'll have to try that – it may be the only way.
It was so risqué that he seriously considered just forgetting about it and going back the way he came, but he convinced himself that he had no choice but to press on. Therefore, he slowly activating his Boost Boots and, as expected, had begun to hover three inches above the ground. Then, ever-so-slowly, he began to hover his way along the eastern wall, shaking like a surfer in a blizzard as he passed by large groups of Pirates, who seemed to be much too preoccupied in their click-clack-ing of keyboards to notice.
Luckily he had not run into any problems besides seeing what he had thought to be a rat, and was able to reach the other side of the room, where a mini-elevator waited to take him up to the second-floor balcony above. Taking a quick moment to catch his breath, Edd slowly hovered his way onto the elevator; the device was motion-sensored and thus began to soundlessly raise him up to the upper level – he thanked the powers that were that the Pirates did not notice this, either!
Alright, Eddward…the worst is behind you now. Take a deep breath…
And as he did so he carefully scouted the upper level for any more Space Pirate personnel…and was immensely relieved to find that he was indeed alone at the moment. Right…well, I seem to be in the clear. There, see what happens when you try? Perhaps Eddy was right about the risk-taking…maybe I'll have to consider his advi-
Edd nearly yelped at the sight of an enormously expansive array of terminals simply residing by the exit – another trove of data waiting to be perused! Now, these were very similar to the other consoles, although this time his visor went out of its way to notify him that within these particular databases were significant reports that dealt with the core nature of the Pirates' operations, programs, and intentions. Basically, his visor was saying that, on an 'interesting' scale, these terminals contained stuff that ranked at about ten.
So many wellsprings of information…it's like walking into the school library all over again! he thought, his heart pounding with excitement as he gazed into the glimmer-lights of the LCD monitors before him. He tapped into his visor's scan function, intent on gathering the data inside the terminals, but then something occurred to him. Hold on…my scan visor is able to obtain data from distant objects, too. This means that, from this balcony, I should be able to obtain the data contained within the terminals on the first floor, as well! Perhaps I'll give it a go…
And so Edd began an extremely careful and covert scanning of nearly every significant database within the research chamber, making sure that the Pirates did not see him on the balcony doing so. The entire process took about a minute or so, and once he was sure that he had extracted as much data as possible from within the area, he sat down in a darkened corner by the doorway in order to give himself time to peruse it all.
There we are, he thought as he tapped into his visor's databases, wishing he had access to a pair of reading glasses. I don't think the Pirates will mind if I just sit here and skim over their most precious documents…
Now, let's see what we can learn from their perspective…
So, with a trembling hand and a mind practically starving for answers to questions he had long since withheld, Edd beheld the treasure trove of data…the recordings and chronicles of the Space Pirates:
Scans of the Spiral Sector detected a massive energy spike emanating from a Wanderer-class planet identified as Tallon IV. Scout reconnaissance was immediately dispatched to the center of the spike, a land mass at heading mark 40.08.02, returning with planetary samples and atmospheric imaging. Analysis shows the energy source to be an unstable and radioactive material of enormous potential. We are unable to form an accurate risk-assessment at this time, but we are unlikely to find an energy source this powerful again. Analysis will continue, but currently Tallon IV appears to be a viable secondary headquarters.
"Energy source…from within the planet? Unstable and radioactive…that explains their presence here…" whispered Edd to himself, scrolling through the text while trying to tie together the clues he had found so far throughout his journey…
We have codified the newfound energy source as Phazon, a V-index mutagen of which we have very little reliable data. Indications point to a meteor of unknown origin impacting approximately fifty years ago, expelling Phazon into the environment. This material appears to possess lifelike characteristics, mutating organic life-forms strong enough to withstand its poison. These mutations appear promising, with abrupt evolutionary leaps appearing in single-generation reproduction. Plans to establish a full Science Team on Tallon IV are being finalized.
"…The meteor!" Edd practically gasped at this entry; the meteor the Chozo had mentioned must have been the same one the Pirates spoke of. "The Great Poison...they call it 'Phazon'…and it has mutagenic properties…intriguing!"
Our initial tests exposing Tallon IV's indigenous parasites to Phazon appear to be successful. Increases in strength, size and aggressiveness are common in all test subjects, as well as unforeseen evolutions like additional poison sacs within the abdomen and the appearance of a second ring of mandibles in several subjects. These creatures were chosen because of their resilience, and it appears possible that, given enough exposure to Phazon, they may one day be able to survive on any planet we transport them to. Our methods will have to be refined: we currently have a 100% extinction rate after the fourth infusion period, and most survivors of the third infusion stage are so violent and uncontrollable that they have to be euthanized. Even still, we remain hopeful that further experimentation will result in success.
Edd immediately thought of the Parasite Queen on the Orpheon – a creature mutated from such a humble norm, using the virulent power of the Great Poison itself…the properties of Phazon.
Mining operations have begun near the crater where Phazon appears to be most concentrated. Daily Phazon yields have increased 44%, and our mining system becomes more streamlined as personnel and equipment flows increase. Several incidents of Phazon-induced madness have been reported, prompting augmented life-support regulations in the deeper chambers. Symptoms include loss of equilibrium, erratic respiration, muscle spasms, and in the most extreme cases, hallucinations. A timeline reassessment for the refinery operation is recommended, as the material proves more unstable than initial analysis indicated.
"Mining operations…oh, by Jove, they must have another base of operations near the meteor's impact site." He could not help but shudder at the notion that Phazon had malicious affects on all who went near it… "This explains why some of the Chozo had gone mad as the poison spread…"
The next entry caught Edd's eye starting right with the opening line.
Research outpost Glacier One in the Phendrana Drifts region of Tallon IV's mountains is operating at 85% capacity. Sub-zero temperatures have made the Metroids sluggish and easy to control, even those well into Phazon-infusion cycles. Cold-containment stasis tanks are sufficient for the juveniles, but some of the larger Metroids have been moved to quarantined caves for safety purposes. Security doors remain an issue, as malfunctions due to ice occur every day. Large predators in the wastes are also a concern, as they continue to kill personnel and breach secure areas. Unfortunately, it has become clear that our containment teams cannot neutralize all of them without a vast increase in munitions and soldiers.
…Which means that I am currently within a Space Pirate researching facility; 'Glacier One' is what they call it, thought Edd, his breathing rate ever-increasing at the flood of revelations. A facility where the Pirates are using Phazon…the Great Poison mentioned by the Chozo…to mutate and transfigure the creatures of Tallon IV?
Something changed after he read those entries; Edd had realized that what the Pirates were doing was not only dangerous for the fauna of Tallon IV…but it was also against his own morals. Experimentation was a process in learning new things, yes, but there was something inside Edd that was telling him that this was not all just for the 'good of science.'
I must investigate…learn more about these operations. These events are on a much grander scale than I thought.
First things first, however: he had to get back to reality. Remembering that he was still in a room filled with Pirates, he became all-too-eager to get out of the area before he was sniped on the spot, climbing through the ceiling portal and into a snowy cavern area, away from the Pirates and into relative safety. He took a moment to catch his breath, overwhelmed by the stress of dealing with such danger, not to mention the astonishing nature of information he had just stumbled upon!
"So both the Space Pirates and the Chozo came in contact with this Great Poi…er, Phazon material," he mused, unable to keep his mind off of what he had just learned. "The Chozo must have come before the Pirates, of course, judging by the age of the lore I've found…but to actually harve-gyaaah!"
The sight of two ceiling-mounted turret guns aiming their treacherous barrels at his face was a pretty shocking sight, but Edd took ease when he noticed that they were quite deactivated. He gripped his chest and attempted to calm down, but found himself unable to in the midst of such barbaric weaponry, so instead he hurriedly shimmied his way down the tunnel and through the door at the end.
"Oh, would you look at that? This seems to be a trend…"
Yet another large room opened itself up for all to behold, but while it may have daunted or aggravated any other person, it served only to intrigue Edd's inquisitive mind. It seemed to be multiple stories in height, a series of platforms leading up to a balcony near the top of the expansive chamber and a small staircase leading down to a lowered section in front of him. The lower section seemed much more interesting to him, for in the very center of it rested a massive conglomeration of mechanisms put together to form what appeared to be a massive generator. From the high ceiling, a similar generator hung down, and Edd surmised that they were somehow supposed to work in tandem, but were both currently deactivated.
To the far side the room, opposite from where he had entered, Edd could see yet another cluttered cluster of terminals, his visor indicating that more crucial Pirate records were stored within – revelations were to be plentiful this day, it seemed! Deciding to start there, he slowly descended the stairs before him in order to get a closer look at the computers before even starting on the construct in the middle of the room.
Ta-clank! Ta-clank!
"…Why didn't I see this coming? Really, now!"
As expected, security was becoming much, much tighter as he progressed through the laboratories, and this was affirmed by the blazing stare of two Space Pirate assassins, one to his left and one to his right. Having just dropped in on their unsuspecting victim, they wasted no time in charging toward him, blades outstretched while Edd consciously fought the urge to freeze up with fear.
On your toes, Eddward! Think quickly now!
To be safe, he quickly jumped back up the staircase using his Space Jump Boots, which he did right as both Pirate swung their swords at him. In the confusion, the deadly swing of the Pirate on the left had cleaved off the head of the one on the right, the latter of which promptly collapsed on the ground as a puddle of green ooze burbled forth from its neck. Edd fought the urge to faint from the gory scene.
The remaining Pirate, enraged at his own folly, discarded its bloodstained edge and turned its plasma cannon on Edd, who was now on the stairs, unleashing a volley of crimson shots toward him. Remaining vigilant, Edd's Boost Boots allowed him to circle around the room, evading the shots quite well, but this assassin was quite the marksman compared to its brethren, and would no doubt score a few shots soon enough.
This calls for a bit of deviation…and experimentation! Let's hope this goes well…
And so Edd had enough time to ponder a few options, and there was one action in particular that he wished to test. He pointed his arm cannon at the Pirate and charged up a Power Beam shot, but as he did so, he changed his hand position quickly and used the motion required to fire a missile.
Voila! Success!
For a moment the orb of light at the end of his cannon retracted and compacted back into his arm cannon, as if it were about to backfire in his face. However, it was simply being concentrated into the shape of a missile while absorbing the concussive properties of the other blast. A second later, it burst forth from his arm cannon in an explosive blaze, sending Edd hurtling back into the wall behind him from the recoil as a ray of radiant vermillion light burned through the air like Haley's comet and hit the assassin square in the chest, resulting in a blinding explosion that, quite literally, sent the Pirate flying…in all directions.
An arm there, a leg there, the Pirate was in tatters; simply…splattered.
In fact, it was splattered so well that Edd did not really notice any recognizable remains, so luckily he was of the impression that it had simply disintegrated into the atmosphere.
Edd shook his head, trying to come back to his senses. The trick had worked, and his hypothesis had been proven to be valid: by combining the Power Beam with the missile module, he had formulated a devastating new form of ammunition!
"I'll call it…the 'Super Missile'!" he noted with a grin, lauding his own brilliance at coming up with such an excellent tactic and name. "And now for this gigantic mechanism…let's see if we can't get this thing up and running, eh?"
Bleep! Bleep-blip-blee-bloop!
The sounds occurred from behind him, and sure enough Edd could see that one of the terminal screens had begun to flash on and off in light blue. That must have been the trigger for activating the mechanism! He simply strolled over to the computer and scanned it with his visor, hoping to find a way to decipher the keys he needed to press to activate it. But scanning it was sufficient enough, and suddenly the room had come abuzz with slight activity. Edd turned around and watched as the two generators began to stir, the nodes on their surfaces flashing with bright lights as they did so. Edd backed up in order to get a better look.
And voila! Only seconds after the machine whirred to life, a holographic light blazed forth from the center of the room, and a gigantic diorama appeared, hovering in the middle of the room, displaying a series of multicolored orbs, rings, orbital track patterns, and coordinate data.
Edd smiled as he realized that he had just happened upon a true observatory, and the planetarium had just unveiled itself for him to enjoy and peruse to his heart's content.
"Ah, this is what I was looking for!" he cried in glee as he circled around the room, marveling at the titanic holographic model before him. He jumped up to the very top of the room using his Space Jump Boots in order to get a better view of the diorama…and how truly impressive it was! From what he could see, five large orbs orbited in differing paths around a single star, much like the solar system he and his friends lived in…minus a few planets, of course. "Perhaps the Pirates have collected data on these planets and this star system? I could definitely use this opportunity to learn the nature of the solar system I have found myself stuck in…"
And so decided to spend a few moments learning about not only the world he and his friends were currently marooned on, but the solar system in which it resided.
First he learned that the central star of the solar system was known as 'FS-176', and was located within the Ooromine System, which was of course somewhere within the Milky Way Galaxy – Edd felt a tad bit relieved at this tidbit of trivia; it made him feel just a little bit closer to home than he had first felt. The closest planet to FS-176 was dubbed 'Bilium', and Edd was fascinated to learn that it was under 'quarantine' for being "rife with Miteralis, a sentient gaseous Global Exterminator virus". 'Ooromine II' was next in line, yet another terrestrial planet that was even smaller than Bilium; Edd was astonished upon learning that the Pirates classified it as an "uninhabitable wasteland savaged by nuclear dust storms and constant seismic upheavals."
"Well, it seems as if some of the planets within the Ooromine system aren't very…well, life-friendly…" He chuckled nervously at this revelation – he had once supposed Mercury and Venus to be quite uninhabitable, but he was starting to consider favoring those over the treacherous conditions found on Bilium and Ooromine II!
Twin Tabula was the oddly-named third planet from FS-176, and Edd could not help but wonder what exactly warranted such a bizarre name. His question was addressed by the data stored within the planet's file, which stated that the world was "best known for 'Twin Fever', a disease caused by a viral strain native to Twin Tabula. In the early stages of the disease, victims suffer from double vision. When the 'twin sight' fades, the victim is near death."
"Goodness gracious…it's revelations like these that make a man appreciate the solar system he comes from!" scoffed the boy sarcastically – suddenly the Ooromine System did not seem as appealing as it once was. He was glad that he had researched these worlds, however; it just solidified the fact that Tallon IV was a gem amongst these marred rocks.
Edd continued his expansive study of the solar system, but became a bit curious upon realizing that the next planet in line, called 'Zebes', had quite a database of information attributed to it; several hundred pages, to be honest! He only read the annotated version, however.
Planet's crust is primarily Urthic ore, making it ideal for subterranean construction. A class XIX planet, Zebes is inhospitable to most bioforms. The world was considered unremarkable until it became a base for Space Pirate forces.
Edd went on to study the rest of the system, but did a double-take at the last line. The Space Pirates had also inhabited the planet Zebes? Now this was something to look into…but he decided that one planet at a time would be the best way to go about it.
And last, but certainly not least, Tallon IV.
"I've learned much about the planet so far in my travels on its surface," remarked Edd with a smirk, scanning the orb that represented the world on which he stood. "But I'd like to get more solid data as to its characteristics. Ah, let's see what mysteries Tallon IV holds within its depths…"
Ecosystem studies indicate that Tallon IV was a biological paradise prior to the impact of an extraterrestrial object. What remains of the biosphere is slowly fading due to exposure to Phazon radiation. At current rate of decay, Tallon IV will be a barren Class XIII wasteland in approximately 25 years.
Well…now he knew.
Another mutated Space Pirate; that made nine so far. Ever since he had started seeing the things, Eddy had begun to feel like he was part of a disturbing horror movie…or at least one of Ed's freakish comic books.
Man, they just keep starin' at me…it's startin' to freak me out!
He thought the Parasite Queen and the similar mutated abominations on the Orpheon were gruesome enough, but these horribly transfigured Pirates were in a whole other league of scary, and it was a darn good thing that they were dormant, sleeping with half-open eyes, standing in pharaoh-like positions inside gargantuan containment tanks. They were like silent statues lining the corridors, gazing down at the short Earthling skittering down the echoic hallways, unable to acknowledge his presence.
It still felt as if they were watching him. That was why he did not stick around in the large research chamber he had come across about ten minutes ago – there were so many of those tanks in that room. That the Pirates would experiment on their own kind was just…
I mean, talk about creepy, he thought as he jogged down yet another barren corridor, taking a liking to looking over his shoulder every few seconds due to the increasing paranoia. It's like being in the trailer park on Halloween night…
The very thought of the nefarious Kanker sisters made him shiver.
Also, it appeared as if the Pirates' security had finally kicked in, because he thought he had heard several of the aliens enter the chamber soon before he left. The fact that the hallways whirred to life with holographic projections and that the entire complex seemed to suddenly buzz with activity made Eddy think that the only reason why he had gotten as far as he did was because the Pirates were still busy setting up outside of the mining complex, and they were only now beginning to take their work inside. He remained cautious, careful not to make too much noise, but he still had to pick up the pace, lest the Pirates extend their security forces all the way to Level 2, where he was.
Yeah, just when I thought I had this thing in the bag, those bozos decided 'hey, let's just show up and wreck everything for ol' Eddy'!
He slinked his way through the automated doorway at the end of the hall and kept next to the wall of the extraordinarily huge room he had found himself in. His eyes scanned the premises quickly, instinctively looking for a doorway to run through…and behold, there was one at the far side! He quickly tapped into his scan visor and, from the shadows, looked all around the room, into the darkest shadows…but there were no signs of life within. He deactivated his visor and did the only thing he could do: he made a break for the doorway about twenty feet away. Much of the room's floor was made up of metallic grating, and below them he could see a vast spider-web network of electrical currents and wires, providing and generating power for a tall mechanism in the center of the room. He could not figure out its workings, nor did he want to, thus be blazed across the room and ducked under the doorway.
But the quick sound of tak-a-tak-a-tak-a-tak! impeded his progress and forced him to dive for cover behind a nearby series of metallic storage crates. A close one, indeed!
Man, what, has the cavalry arrived or something? What's all the racket about?
He carefully peeked out from a crack between two boxes, and saw that there were three mounted turrets hanging from the ceiling, their barrels whirring in his general direction. Had he been any less attentive, he would have been shot dead…or at least pretty darn close. And with the amount of armoring he had on at the moment (namely, his 100% cotton shirt and very-trendy pantaloons), he was not going to even think about firing back at them. As far as he knew, there was no way…
I'd rather suck eggs, he thought scathingly as he thought of a way past these turrets. No way am I gonna end up like a piece-a-Swiss-cheese…
…Ah, but what was this? Only about three feet next to him, out of the range of the turrets, was a 2x2 square chute in the floor that winded into a very small tunnel that led under the floor and to the other side of the hall. "Aha! Who's the man with the plan?" He smiled mischievously and entered the hole, burrowing under the turrets like a rabbit burrowing across no man's land in war. He came out on the other side and was right beside the door he was aiming for, but he could not help notice that the turrets were still looking for him on the other side. Before ducking through the doorway, he let fly six missiles toward them, two for each. He was in the next room before the turrets were obliterated in three satisfying ka-booms.
"Suckers…!" he jeered as he reveled in the destruction of his mechanical foes. No one impeded Eddy's progress and got away with it!
Another sizeable room awaited his weary feet, although the place looked…much different than the places he had already been. It looked far more natural, comprised mostly of rocky walls. It was as if everything he had seen before had been artificially constructed by the Pirates, whereas this room was just hollowed-out caverns.
Perhaps he was so deep in the mines that he had finally reached the mining caverns themselves? The room he was in was huge regardless from what he could see from the grated balcony he was standing on. He looked downward and saw a huge cluster of computer terminals, and, worse than that, about five Space Pirate researchers manning them.
Eddy groaned in frustration as he backed away and out of sight of the Pirates. "Great, how am I supposed to get past these jokers?" he grumbled, his eyebrows furrowed in frustration.
He risked a quick peek of the room again, but when he looked down at the very end of the research area, he noticed something quite strange. There was a massive hole in the wall, leading in what appeared to be all-natural caverns, which was protected by a massive force-field similar to the one he had seen outside of the mining complex.
But it was the things behind that force-field that made Eddy's heart skip a beat. There must have been about half a dozen of them, but behind the force-field, hovering about emotionlessly like poltergeists, were those gelatinous, jelly-fish-like creatures that he recognized from earlier that day! He remembered, out in the quarry, very near to the entrance of the complex, seeing a line of Space Pirates carrying crates filled with those creatures, and now he was seeing what had become of them – it looked as if they were being studied or something, but if they were behind that force-field, that meant that the Pirates did not want to come in contact with them.
"Man, it's a regular Seaworld in here," muttered Eddy, utterly freaked out at the sight of those hovering monstrosities. "Stinkin' jellyfish…but wait a second, if there's a big magic fence in the way, that means that the Pirates want to stay away from 'em. So…"
And so Eddy hatched the plan of the century. He looked around the balcony for a switch, a lever, or a shiny red button that would suffice, but he found nothing. Nothing but a single solitary computer terminal about a few feet away from him. At first he dismissed it as boring and geeky, but then he inspected it a bit more carefully.
Et voila!
On the screen there was a large prompt colored in red, and while the words on the screen were written in garbled Pirate-scribbles, he could see that the large button on the screen was supposed to activate something. So he touched the screen and activated the program on the computer, not really knowing what he was doing. But the whirr-shooooom… sound that he heard immediately after doing so confirmed his success.
Eddy wanted a bag of popcorn. So bad.
He watched with a quiet cackle as the force-field deactivated…and wanted to laugh so badly when every Pirate turned and looked at the now-free creatures in what had to have been sheer horror. He watched them take several steps back, and he looked on as the jellyfish creatures all began to slowly hover toward the Pirates. Before long, red plasma shots were raining through the air, but they did nothing against those gelatinous creatures…well, actually, they did a fairly great job of aggravating them. One of the creatures immediately flew straight for a Pirate and did something…pretty terrible, actually.
It had used its pincers to latch directly onto one of the Pirates' reptilian faces, just like the creatures in Ed's horror movies! Eddy watched through squinted eyes, not really believing the awesomeness of what he was seeing: the Pirate began flailing about, shrieking in guttural tone as it smashed against walls and computer terminals. The other Pirates had taken to shooting at the Pirate, sometimes hitting the creature that had latched on, sometimes shooting the Pirate itself. But it was not long before the jellyfish let go and the Pirate fell limply to the ground, purely and utterly dead. And that was when the other jellyfish attacked the other Pirates, and Eddy just sat back and watched as the aliens hopelessly fought back against the floating creatures, each one eventually being latched onto and sucked dry of their energy before lifelessly collapsing to the ground.
And Eddy was in hysterics.
"Oh, man! Yeah, 'I'm a big, bad Space Pirate! Look at me run! I'm so scared of jellyfish, keep them away from me!'" He burst out in loud laughter, clutching his sides as he did so. "I thought you were supposed to be the tough guys! What chumps! I really feel bad for being afraid of you wusses, you know…well, no use crying over it now…"
…Though Eddy was forced to eat those words upon seeing those half-dozen jellyfish monstrosities zooming directly toward his screaming face.
"Mommy! Gaaaaaaargh!"
Many questions had been answered within the past ten minutes, though many still remained, and even more had formed within the ever-humming factory of Edd's mind. He was so entrenched in his own speculation and reasoning that he had subconsciously meandered his way out of the observatory, down the nearby transit corridor, and onto an automated elevator system.
Of course…now I can see the connection…so many things make sense now, thought Edd as he bit his finger in deep thought, trying to piece together portions of the immense brainstorm within his mind. The hard part was summarizing all of his thoughts. The meteor that had impacted the planet fifty years ago carried within it a virulent material…Phazon is what the Pirates called it…and it has been used by the Pirates in their genetics experiments. This explains the mutated insects we first observed on the Orpheon. This Phazon substance obviously has immense potential…
But at the same time I'm more than convinced that this Phazon is also the Great Poison that the Chozo were speaking of in their ancient records, he continued. The Chozo said that this meteor caused the Phazon to spread throughout the planet, corrupting the world's environments at an exceedingly slow pace – aha! This explains the poisoned water supply in the Chozo Ruins: the Flaahgra must have been a strain of insect that was mutated by the Phazon into a toxin-creating monstrosity! This also explains the blue substance I found within the caves in the Phendrana mountain range – that radioactive substance must have been Phazon, too! So it's already found a way to pervade throughout the environment.
And still the Chozo could not stop it, even with their protective temple and Cipher, he concluded as he stepped off of the elevator.
…And in twenty-five years, the Phazon will transform this world into a wasteland.
So many things were making sense at this point, but still Edd wanted to know more about what the Pirates were trying to achieve, and the magnitude of their Phazon experimentation programs – had they experimented on other creatures, too?
The doorway he entered through had led him to quite the refreshing vicinity: an open-aired courtyard that welcomed the cloudy Phendrana sky and the snow it constantly rained down upon the lands. Edd took a deep breath of relief, his lungs quite tired of the musty air within the confines of the dark laboratory. "Much better…" he sighed as he stretched, watching the clouds lazily roll by.
He walls around him were high-reaching, so unfortunately he could not see exactly how high he was in comparison to the rest of the laboratory, though he assumed that he was currently at the very top of the place – his map verified this assumption. What was more, above the southern doorway to the far side of the courtyard, which presumably led to more laboratory, was quite a hopeful sight: the smoke that he had seen before from the shorelines of Phendrana was quite close at this point, easily within a mile. Edd hypothesized that he would only have to persist through a few more hallways before reaching that area. The hope pushed him forward, urging him to press onward.
That is, until something else in the sky caught his eye. There were three of them, really, and while they looked quite a bit like crows in the distance, as they came closer they became all too familiar to Edd.
Oh, come now, can't I have one moment of peace?!
More Pirates had appeared, much to Edd's horror, though this was quite the odd battalion: hovering high above the courtyard, they sported relatively shoddy-looking jetpack-like modules that propelled them in the air. The three of them positioned themselves high in the sky, presumably taking careful aim of the boy down below. Edd could only guess what their intentions were, but the whistling sound he heard next was one that he was all too familiar with after years of hearing the mindless blaring of old-school cartoons in Ed's house: yes, this sound entailed a flurry of missiles raining down on his position!
His Boost Boots proved invaluable here, as he dashed and darted his way out of the range of the missiles, which, thankfully, were not designed to heat-seek like his were. Taking a moment to retaliate once the Pirates momentarily lost track of him, Edd charged up a Power Beam shot, and then subsequently unleashed a vicious Super Missile toward the hovering horrors. The recoil from the shot staggered him and nearly caused him to fall on his backside.
Ka-boom!
Not only was one Pirate practically disintegrated out of existence, but the one very near it was halfway consumed by the blast, emerging from the cloud of smoke with one less arm, one less leg, and a green comet-trail of blood trickling downward along with it as it crashed down to the whitened shorelines of Phendrana. The other Space Pirate simply stared at Edd before cocking its own arm cannon, emitting a guttural obscenity…and fleeing the vicinity.
Alright, he's probably also going to…uh…come again? What's going on?
…It took Edd a few moments to come to realize that he had, probably for the first time in his life, managed to scare something off.
Legitimately.
Granted, he had scared off a few students at his school before, when he had begun to ramble ceaselessly about his own ingeniously-conceived science fair projects, but this was something of another league.
"I…I, uh…just…well…um…I…" he stumbled, having quite a hard time coming to grips with this new development.
He got out of there before the Pirate came back with reinforcements, obviously…which it did, four minutes after Edd left the vicinity.
The area became dark again as the automated door behind him closed, and he found himself riding down another elevator that started the instant he stepped upon its surface. As he felt it travel downward, he knew he was probably headed for more trouble, but then again, he was also headed toward what may have been a crash-site. Plus, he had no doubt that he was soon to learn more about the Space Pirates and the insidious Phazon he had just learned about.
The elevator came to a stop and Edd found himself looking down a night-black, narrow tunnel leading to a single automated doorway. He valiantly marched forward, but somehow it felt as if the hallway was becoming narrower as he went. T'was an illusion, yes, but he found it increasingly difficult to breathe as he neared the doorway, and, beginning to panic, hurried on across the threshold, whereupon the door closed once again.
…What in heaven's name was that? he thought, trying to catch his breath. Was that just apprehension? Fear? It feels as though I've just gotten a quick glimpse into my future…
The omen he had mentioned earlier must have been more real than he thought.
He surveyed the area, wanting to kick himself for his hasty maneuver, but nothing substantial came to light…well, that was not entirely true. He seemed to be a sizeable alcove that seemed to be overlooking yet another massive Space Pirate research laboratory down below…again, there were too many Pirates here for someone of his stature to handle; upwards of twenty, he supposed. Luckily a solid sheet of glass separated him from them, so he felt relatively safe.
Oh, for heaven's sake… he thought, his shoulders slumping as he grew more and more discouraged at his situation. At some point or another I may have to engage such a vast horde of these arrogant alien creatures...I'm not sure I have the covert capabilities to…stay…out of…sight?
Well, if there was one thing he had not noticed, it was the one cylindrical containment tank resting within the center of this little study-bubble. All of the ones he had come across so far had been empty, but this was was…quite occupied.
"…Oh my…what in heaven's name…is that?!"
Something told him not to approach the tank, but his endless curiosity compelled him forward. He could not even begin to draw comparisons between other creatures he had seen…and this one. It was pretty huge, quite a bit larger than a basketball, and it appeared gelatinous in form, almost like an ethereal, hovering jellyfish; contained within its translucent body was a myriad network of reddened nuclei stretching out in vast networks of veins along its carapace. At the bottom of its form, where a jellyfish's tentacles would normally reside, this creature sported a pair of razor-sharp pincers, hinting toward a carnivorous nature. Edd could not tell if the thing had acknowledged him, though; it did not hover any differently than it did before, and…well, it had no face.
But what was this thing? Why had Edd never seen it before?
And why was he not completely overwhelming this thing with his scan visor already?
"Could this be one of the species that the Pirates have been experimenting on?" he pondered as he gave the entrapped creature a quick run-down with his scan visor, hoping that this thing would be the missing link he needed to fully understand the Pirates' motives. "Ah, success! Let us see what my research has yielded…"
Scan Completed.
Morphology: Metroid
Metroids are energy-based parasitic predators. The dominant species of planet SR388, Metroids can suck the life force out of living things. A Metroid latches onto its prey and drains energy, growing larger as it does.
Danger level: HIGH.
"…Metroid, eh?" muttered Edd after reading the results a few times over. He repeated the word over and over in varying pace, remembering that it had been mentioned in one of the Space Pirate logs he had perused a few moments ago. "Yes, the Pirates mentioned these creatures…so I was right: these creatures are the subjects of the Pirates' experimentations! Or at least, one species of many."
He peered a bit closer to the tank, wanting to get a better gist of its anatomy, which looked absolutely fascinating...
However, in an instant, the glass of the tank shattered into a cluster of shards, sending Edd reeling back as the Metroid was released into the chamber! Now the thing acknowledged him, slowly beginning to hover toward him, emitting a high-pitched, inhumane cry as it did so. What a horrifying sound; it was completely otherworldly, something that Edd could not have dreamt up in his most vile of nightmares!
In natural defense, Edd screamed in fright and fired a missile toward the creature, but even this homing projectile missed, striking the glass wall at the other end of the room instead, the one separating this chamber from the rest of the lab. In an instant the glass shattered, and the twenty Space Pirates down below immediately reacted, brandishing their swords and growling at what had happened, looking upward at the research alcove where Edd and this 'Metroid' were.
The Metroid seemed to notice the change, too, for it changed its tactics quite a bit. Turning away from the horror-struck Edd, the ethereal being hovered down through the glass and down into the lab, where the Space Pirates had been stationed. Nerve-shot, Edd had wanted to get a look of what was going on down there…but the sudden thunderclap of gunfire had told him to stay back where it was safe.
The ensuing alien screams of agony made it far worse. That and the ripping and tearing of armor and reptilian flesh. He could smell the thick blood from where he was, and seriously considered making a run for it. He looked back toward the door from whence he came, but was dismayed when he saw that a series of metal clamps had generated across its surface, probably for security reasons, blocking his escape.
He would not have had a chance, anyway, for the Metroid had returned for the final course.
Well, as the scan indicated, it was larger than before; about three times its former size, so at this point it was larger than a freaking tire. However, it still looked utterly emotionless, what with the lack of face…and utter lack of a soul. Edd raised his shaking arm cannon toward the creature, concentrating and trying to keep himself from fainting in fright. This thing was not like the Sheegoths, or the Flaahgra, or the Magmoors…this was something out of a nightmare, something that haunted him to his very core. Something that every human should have feared…
"Oh, good Lord, stay back!" he cried as threateningly as he could, though the beast did not stop in its hovering. "Shoo! Shoo! Get away this instant!"
And that was when the beast flew toward his face, its piercing talons outstretched, a shrill, ghostly shriek emanating from its ghostly membrane.
Ka-blaaaam! Ka-booom!
Edd had closed his eyes when the creature barreled toward him, and he reopened them to a sight of thick smoke and a scattered array of Metroid parts and organs. Two Super Missiles was the winning formula, it seemed…provided he would have the stamina to use it in the future. The thing went down pretty easily given Edd's impressive weaponry, but he felt as if he had not really defeated it.
It…affected him in a way.
M…Metroid… This creature was a Metroid…
He wanted to get the heck out of there. Right away.
And so he approached the edge of the chamber and got ready to hover down to the array of computer terminals below. But it took him a while, what with the scattered pile of empty Space Pirate husks scattered in tatters around the room. It looked like an utter warzone down there…a regular bloodbath…so before he went down, he decided to obtain data from the necessary terminals from where he was, sitting down in order to catch his breath and settle his stomach.
"Such wanton destruction…" he murmured, horror-stricken at the destruction that a single Metroid had wrought unto an entire expanse of Space Pirates. He did not want to imagine the potential devastation that these things could have brought after Phazon infusion, that was for sure. He turned his deliberations to the material he had just scanned, as well as the excerpts he had scanned in the observatory, hoping to take his mind off of the corpses down below…and the nightmarish being he had just confronted:
Most terraforming and retrofitting of security checkpoints on Tallon IV is complete, but we continue to research the alarming epidemic of breaches by local creatures. Door records show no unauthorized entries, so we must presume the creatures are either slipping in undetected during daily personnel moves or else finding their way in through subterranean tunnels. We have found many small breaches of this latter sort and plug them wherever we can, but it is unlikely that we will ever achieve full extermination with our current timetable.
…
Phazon mining is under way. Several garrisons have been established, and terraforming of the Chozo Ruins is under way. Security systems are operational, and Science Team continues to make progress in their biotech research. The Phendrana Drifts have proven to be an optimal location for Research Headquarters, and soon it will be joined by a fully operational Combat base and starport. If Command's predictions are half true, we shall rise to dominance in this sector within a deca-cycle. Truly, these are glorious times.
Edd stared in bewilderment at this particular excerpt. "The Chozo Ruins…the Pirates have even gone as far as to desecrate such a place…I was fortunate not to run into any of them during my expedition, but still…" It seemed the Pirates' efforts were more far-reaching than he had predicted.
Initial transfer of Metroids to Tallon IV research facilities has been completed. Three were terminated in an incident at the landing site, but the others were pacified and transported safely. Initial Phazon-infusion testing is under way. We are eager to observe the effects of Phazon on Metroids, especially their ability to absorb and process the energy given off by Phazon sources. Early research suggests a considerable growth in power and size. Whether the creatures stay stable thereafter remains to be seen.
Edd shuddered at the thought of infusing Metroids with Phazon…it appeared as if he was right to fear such a nightmare.
The next excerpt caught his attention right off the bat with the mention of a familiar name.
The reconstruction of geoform 187, code-named Ridley, was recently completed. After his defeat during the unprecedented Zebes incident, Command ordered a number of metagenetic improvements for him. Though aggressive, we were able to implement these changes in a cycle. The metamorphosis was painful, but quite successful in the end. Early tests indicate a drastic increase in strength, mobility, and offensive capability. Cybernetic modules and armor plating have been added as well. We believe our creation, now called Meta Ridley, will become the mainstay of our security force, a job he will certainly relish.
"More mention of Ridley, it seems," remarked Edd, a bit quizzical toward this entry. "If I consider what this is saying and pair it with the information I retrieved back at the observatory, then it appears that an event took place on the planet Zebes some time before the Pirates arrived here…before Ed, Eddy and myself arrived here. I can only hope that there will be future mention of this 'unprecedented incident' in further excerpts…I don't think the three of us will readily agree on making a short trip to Zebes!"
Confidence is high regarding Phazon applications. We know enough about Phazon now to begin combining it with Space Pirate DNA. The code name for this venture will be 'Project Helix'. Preliminary studies indicate that Phazon infusion could produce radical new Pirate genomes. Benevolent mutation levels are high in current test subjects. Phazon madness is a concern, but refinements in the infusion process should reduce or neutralize the odds of mental degeneration.
"Infusion with Space Pirates?!" shouted Edd, standing straight up upon reading the first few sentences of this entry. "Why, are they mad? Have they no shame?! No moral decency?! Why, to ruthlessly experiment on other creatures is one thing, but to experiment and alter one's own kind…its reprehensible! Worse than that!
"Oh, this…'Project Helix'…oh yes, this will be something to research extensively in the future…"
He continued on to the final entries.
Metroid dissection continues to provide more questions than answers. Our research teams have isolated the energy conduits that run from the invasive twin mandibles to the energy core in the creature's quadripartite nucleus, but the manner in which a Metroid actually extracts the life force from its prey remains an utter mystery. The victim does not loose blood or any other vital fluids, and yet the Metroid extracts energy: identifying this energy is our central problem. It takes no physical form, and yet without it, the victim dies. We will continue to research this matter, as the isolation of this life-giving essence could be the key to our ascendance.
…
Studies of Metroid biology continue, though with limited progress. It seems likely that we will be much more successful using the Metroids for our means rather than trying to reproduce their powers. If they could be adequately tamed, we would have no need of a proper understanding of their metabolism. A small force of disciplined Metroids could wipe out entire armies, and once we find a way to shield them from cold-containment weapons, they will be invincible. Furthermore, if we could then harvest the energy they'd consumed, we would have a near-limitless source of power at our disposal.
Edd tuned out from his results and began to slowly regain his composure after a long reading session. Well, this was unprecedented.
"The Pirates are cultivating Metroids for both military and energy purposes, if I'm interpreting that correctly. I'm beginning to see a recurring theme here…it seems the Pirates are conducting these experiments in pursuit of military power…but why would they want this? Were they oppressed by a grander force? Do they have delusions of grandeur? So many questions…so little time…"
The data was ever-tantalizing, yes, but he wanted to stay away from the war-zone as much as possible, before the stench and the sight of the Pirate remains made him sick for the second time that day. Covering his nose, he dropped down to the floor below and quickly boosted his way through the first open door he could find, which led to yet another hallway…one of hundreds, it seemed.
He stood within the snow-covered tunnel to catch his breath. It took him a while, of course, so in the meantime he sat down in the knee-deep snow, his mind suddenly drifting off as he became increasingly fatigued from his ordeal. It must have been nearing…seven o'clock back on Earth. Eight, perhaps? Late, in any case.
There is so much to think about now than when my colleagues and I first landed on Tallon IV, he thought, wiping his weary eyes, feeling the stress creep up as he felt the weight of a world fall unto his shoulders. At first we were dedicated to survival…reconnaissance…returning home…but now, what with the Chozo, the Cipher, the Phazon, the Space Pirates, the Metroids, Project Helix…I can't help but feel as if we're obligated to do something about this.
Edd looked down at his arm cannon, and then to his own Varia Suit, gazing at his own reflection therein.
These mechanisms…I've used them for self-defense…for my own survival. They're the only reason why I've gotten as far as I have. But can I…well, can we use them to intervene in this crisis? Would it be wrong if the three of us just returned home without having a final say as to the fate of these events? Oh dear, listen to me. I need to sleep…
And then he noticed something.
Snow.
Snow in a Space Pirate laboratory, and in a security tunnel no less. He gazed down the path, where an automated door rested at the very far end, about twenty feet away. The snow on this path was extremely well-trodden, actually. Most of the snow he had seen thus far in Phendrana was newly-fallen, because nobody had ever been there before he had arrived, but this…this looked like the cul-de-sac after an over-night snowfall once the kids had their way romping through it. It was recent, too – a confrontation, mayhap? A Space Pirate snowball fight? Edd chuckled at the thought.
Ta-kunk! Ta-clank!
Edd's ears perked at the sound of metal clashing with metal, the sound of shots being fired in a far-off vicinity…the sounds of battle…the sounds of war…he dismissed it in favor of rest.
"Feel the wrath of my ultra-ray! Ho-ho, feel the wrath of my lasagna!"
Edd's eyes shot wide open and he stood up as quickly as he could upon hearing a dramatic, bellowing voice reverberate through that far-off doorway, echo across the cavern walls, and travel through his eardrums.
His adrenaline rushing like raging rapids, and without a moment's thought, he activated his Boost Boots and shot down the hallway, preferring to not have to wade through the debilitating snow, whereupon he blazed right through the open automating door and crashed right into the railing in the chamber he had found himself in. He staggered back and nearly passed out from the discombobulation, but he quickly reoriented himself upon hearing the tak-a-tak-a-tak of gunfire…
…And the screeching of Space Pirates within the vicinity! A battle was taking place within this very chamber!
"…What in the world…what is going on in here?!" cried Edd aloud as he rushed to the railing once more and looked down to the first floor nearly thirty feet below, and he nearly screamed in terror at the sight of nearly a dozen Space Pirates all engaging in chaotic battle down at the bottom of the room.
But amidst the chaos, the swirling vermillion and the night-black armor, Edd thought he saw a glimmer of a familiar color…the stench of six-month-old cheese…the forest-green hue of a well-worn, unsanitary jacket…
It was him, all right.
"Ed!" screamed Edd with all of his vocal might down at the valiant soldier fending off the twelve Space Pirates at the bottom of the room, and soon enough, a familiar voice sounded back from amidst the discord:
"Whoa…Double Dee!" Ed took a moment to look up from the discord surrounding him, and though he really had to squint hard, he could actually see him – his long lost pal, Edd, was up at the top of the room, staring down at him! "What brings you to these parts, Double Dee-"
"Watch out, Ed!" Edd tried to get Ed's attention in order to prevent the worst from happening, and luckily, Ed was able to block a potentially lethal strike from a nearby Pirate assassin using his arm cannon as a shield. "Hold on, Ed! I'm coming down there to help! Stay alert and watch your back, please!" He immediately dashed for the ramp leading down to the second-floor balcony, hardly seeing the sense in jumping all the way down to the bottom floor right off the bat.
"Oh, cool! Better get your fishing pole, Double Dee, because I am swamped! Ah-ha-ha!" With newly-restored vigor, Ed took his arm cannon and freaking pummeled a Space Pirate assassin square in the cranium, fracturing its skull and sending it toppling to the ground in a misshapen mess. "The Space Outlaws have reunited, and they will fight off the alien invasion as one! Tremble and run home to mommy, invaders from the beyond!"
Edd was panicked on the inside, yes, but he couldn't help but laugh full-heartedly at the familiar comment. It was so good to hear Ed's voice again, to hear his nonsensical interjections! It was so good to know that he was not alone anymore! "That's the spirit, Ed!" he shouted as he descended the ramp on his Boost Boots, hurrying to join his companion in fighting off their common foes.
Ka-thunk ka-thunk!
He was unable to see it coming at first, but Edd quickly came to the realization that two Space Pirate assassins had dropped down from the top floor, one directly in front of him and one directly behind – the boy was flanked but good. With vigor the Space Pirate in front swung downward with its arm-blade, attempting to bisect the boy, but Edd was too battle-seasoned to be caught off-guard like that…perhaps the Edd of yesterday, but not the Edd of today! Instead, he dodged to the left and let loose a flurry of Wave Beam shots into that Pirate, causing it to become a regular fly zapper, coursing with hundreds of volts. The other Pirate, however, saw this as an offensive opportunity and lunged toward Edd, who did not have enough time to counter…
Ka-boooom!
The Pirate was sent careening across the chamber in an explosion most profound! Flabbergasted, Edd looked down at the bottom of the chamber and saw Ed saluting him in a typical Space Outlaw pose; Ed had seen that Edd was in danger and had defeated his assailant with a flurry of well-aimed missiles.
"Oh, thank you, Ed!" cried Edd as he continued to circle around the room to the final ramp, the one that would lead him to the ground floor – knowing that the fight was not yet over, he kicked his Boost Boots into high gear in order to assist his friend.
"No problem, bucko!" replied Ed as he turned to the Space Pirate to his right.
…And it took him a few moments to realize that this was the very last one: the sole survivor of the Pirate assassination squad. That Ed and Edd had effectively defeated an entire battalion by themselves was incredible in and of itself, but something was a bit odd about this one trooper. Its armor was a tad…different in some respects. Instead of the night-black norm, its armor was tinted a deep crimson, and its sword an unusual shade of bright azure. Thinking nothing of it, Ed awaited its decisive strike, and knew instinctively that he would Grapple Beam it right in the face and fling it to the other side of the room if it made any sudden movements.
But instead the Pirate just gawked at Ed with its fire-red eyes, trying to figure out just what in the world this bipedal creature was…what this…human was; in the next instant it turned to the other end of the room, where it saw Edd descending the ramp about twenty feet away, sailing toward their position. The Pirate turned to Ed once more, this time sporting a strange, disgruntled look on its reptilian visage.
"Perntr hinntirrsh…kohmrehd?" it garbled to Ed, seemingly awaiting a response. Ed, however, was utterly flabbergasted at its attempts to converse.
"Do not try to daunt me, alien commander-in-chump!" warned Ed, pointing an ever-astounding and awe-inspiring finger at the beast's face, unwavering in his bravery. "I, Ed, will not be fooled by your evil negotiation attempts, for you will then try to suck my brain out. I've seen it in the comic books, I did!"
The Pirate scoffed, spitting blackened saliva on the tiled floor. "Perntr hinnitrrsh…kohmrehd…der edh hintirrsh!"
In a flash, the Pirate leaped forward, much faster than Ed had anticipated it would, and grabbed the boy by the throat with its elongated reptilian fingers. This thing was quite unlike the other Pirates, it seemed! Edd noticed this as he sped toward their position, raising his arm cannon and trying to get a good Power Beam shot in, so as to distract the beast from harming his good friend.
"You leave him alone!" he cried threateningly as he prepared to discharge his mighty Power blast, zooming forward with his Boost Boots at a ludicrous speed. "Ed! I'm coming! Hold on!"
Ed tried to call out to Edd while trying to escape the beast's clutches, but it was no use – this Pirate was extraordinarily tough. With an abrasive cackle, the Space Pirate let go of Ed's throat and, before Ed could so much as think of reacting, thrust-kicked him through the doorway that lead back to the cavern network, leaping after him with its azure blade outstretched.
And at that point, the monster's intentions had dawned upon Edd.
"Nooooo!" he screamed as he barreled toward the doorway, hoping to make it in time before the unthinkable happened! He had to make it…there was no alternative!
However, his efforts were for naught; the Pirate had forced the automated door closed and ran its sundering blade across its surface in an X-pattern, destroying its automatic function and rendering it all but unable to sense motion. A horrible expression of both terror and dismay overtook Edd's face before he crashed face-first against the cold, metallic surface of the door, falling back onto the cold, tiled floor…
From where he lay, he stared at the door.
Young Eddward stared at the door for what seemed like an eternity. Seconds seemed to pass…minutes seemed to pass…until he found the will to rise to his feet, slowly removing his arm cannon before he grasped the door's edges with his hands and tried with all his might to force it open.
His disbelief had reached the breaking point – now came the fury.
"No, no, no, no, no, NO!" screamed Eddward at the top of his lungs as he began to pound the door over and over with his arm cannon, doing everything in this physical being to get the portal open so he could reach his friend on the other side. He threw a barrage of bombs at the thing; he blasted it to kingdom come with his Super Missiles, his Wave Beam, and even threw the arm cannon itself at the thing! He rammed into it over and over with the help of his Boost Boots!
No…there is no way I am going to allow this one…single…doorway get in the way of me reuniting with one of the two people I can trust in on this forsaken planet. There is no way I am going to let this…unsurpassable…abhorrent…horrid, vile, despicable, hateful, terrible door get in the way of me helping my friend fend off that cursed Space Pirate monster!
There…is…no…way…
He fell to his knees and punched the door with all of his might…young Eddward punched the door over and over again until his knuckles were sore and bruised. The miles he had traveled, the perils he had survived, the ordeals he had been through…the ethical boundaries he had broken!
"Ed! Ed, someone, open this door! Please! For the love of all that is good in this world, someone open…this…door!"
KRRRRAAAAASSSSSH!
The chamber had gone black…as black as the all-consuming miasma of a moonless night. The power had been cut…cut like a power line in the midst of bustling city.
And as the glass shards trickled down from every level of the three story chamber, Edd could only wonder what fate had in store for him…because as a human being, that's all he could have done.
The entire world came to a stop as all twelve Metroids sealed within the research chamber simultaneously broke out of their containment tanks, each silently acknowledging the presence of a single Earthling in their midst…each silently acknowledging the life force contained within his being…
And with one final sweeping motion, they flew…their piercing shrieks ripping through the darkness.
