Author's Note.

Hey! I hope you are all doing great. I just finished writing this chapter and yes, I know it took it's time but it was really hard for me to formulate what I wanted out of this chapter but I think I did better than I thought I would. I am very happy with the outcome and hope you all will be too.

It was amazing reading all your reviews and again thank you for all the love. You guys put a lot of thought to your reviews and yes, I was just scaring you guys with all the troubled ideas I put in your heads about the what may happen because I always knew what i wanted from this chapter. Fine, I am sorry! :P But I feel so happy to see how involved you all are with this story and how loved this story is.

DO REVIEW THIS CHAPTER!

Enjoy the chapter! Lots of love.


Chapter 11 – Whispers and murmurs

APOV

I cup his face out of the concern I feel in myself for him, he leans in my touch before looking in my eyes and my heart sinks in deep fear and trepidation by the sight in front of me. What could it might be that has him so worried… and… and… Afraid?

"Christian?" I whisper.

"Hmm." Is all he could manage out.

"Its past Christian, we all have a past. Why are you so worried? What are you afraid of?" I ask because I truly am concerned. He forcefully squeezes his eyes close as a frown builds on his forehead, he gulps hard as if fighting an inner battle. He opens his eyes, stays quite while looking at me blankly.

"What?" I ask again in a low and soft voice.

"That you would go…" He replies, his voice almost inaudible and in that moment the fearless and one of the most successful men in world travels into a dark oblivion and all I see in front of me is a little copper haired boy who is afraid that I would leave him, that I would go. I don't know what he has to tell me but as much as I am eager to know what it is, I would be lying if I say a part of me is not afraid. What skeletons are there in his closet that has him so worked up? What is it that he thinks is so severe that would drive me away? It's his past, right? Which might be dark but we all have it, I do too.

"If it's your past then I don't think there is anything you should be worried about. It's gone." I say and he stares blankly at me while absorbing my words. Hopefully it worked.

"You don't know, Ana." He murmurs painfully.

"Okay, have you murdered someone and have his corpse hidden in your ivory tower?" I question with a cheeky smile and mock astonishment. A small smile pulls his lips. Yes it worked!

"No!" He answers with a soft smile and I continue my tease.

"You don't have a wife, do you?" I gasp playfully and narrow my eyes at him as I place my hands on my hips, "Or maybe another girlfriend?" I try to look shocked but as his smile widens, mine does too.

"No. None. Just one girl… who is in front of me." He says in his sexy voice.

"Good. Because I don't like sharing." I babble and he grins widely. I take it as my queue and continue. I gasp again playfully, "Perhaps a sex slave?" I mutter in shock and he pulls me towards him in a jerk and wraps his arms around my waist as I place mine around his neck.

"Enough of you." He says with a smile and leans forward to kiss me. We both close our eyes as our lips find one another's. He kisses me softly, as softly as ever possible, tasting my lips with his while licking my lower lip gently with this tongue. We breathe the same air in the same pace and I realize in that moment, we are combined, we are one. We part away and he places a soft kiss on my forehead and inhales in my hair while I place my head in the crook on his neck and swim in his scent.

"Come, let's go." He says as he takes my hand in his.

"Don't we have to pay first?" I ask and he looks at me smugly. Oh! You don't, Grey!

"No, we don't." He replies and I cross my arms and look at him with a questioning expression for him to continue, he gives in easily and continues, "It was paid in advance. Now, come." He takes my hand again and starts to walk as I gape at him. This one was supposed to be on me!

"You know, you promised. Such a cheat." I exasperate and he laughs. He's laughing at me! Ugh.

"Ah-huh? Laugh when you'll dine tomorrow…ALONE." I say smugly with a cheeky smile and he looks back at me with a huge grin on his face.

"As much adorable as you look when you are mad, what can I do to make you happy again?" He asks, a smile appears on my lips, I bite my lip to stifle it and suddenly his eyes turn a hundred shades darker as he stares at my mouth with… lust? And I immediately leave my lip with the realisation.

"Let's go eat ice-cream." I mutter excitedly and he smiles. We get in the elevator and the temperature all of a sudden increases to a hundred degrees. My breathing hitches evidently as he inhales sharply. I can feel the ever present pull between us growing even stronger with every passing second. I bite my lip under pressure and I hear a loud groan from Christian before he lunges himself on me, kissing me wildly with all the passion he can amass. He thrusts me in the wall of the elevator and pins me to himself, his hip pushed in me making me feel his hardness for me. I glide my hands in his hair while pulling his mouth to mine, he moans while biting my lower lip and tasting it with his tongue. I slightly open my mouth and without letting the moment slip, he slips his tongue in my mouth and does his sinful assault. The elevator pings open and I jerk back immediately, much to Christian's irritation which can be easily gaged by his scowling.

"What is it about the elevators?" He murmurs in his sexy voice and turns to face the door. We see an old couple at the entrance, looking at us with a grin which could tear their mouth if kept like this for a few more moments.

"The pleasure of being young!" Exclaims the old man as he moves in with his wife and I blush a deep scarlet by his statement while Christian smiles and looks down at me. We reach the ground floor and see Taylor standing there, I greet him with a smile which he returns warmly much to Christian's confusion. He asks Taylor to take us to Pike place to the ice-cream place I mentioned to him. The gentleman that he is, opens the door for me and slides in after closing my door. Taylor takes in the traffic while Christian takes my hand in his and rubs his thumbs against my knuckles. We ride with some light conversation before reaching our destination. We both get out of the car and head to the take away.

"Chocolate?" I ask him straight as I remember the look in his eyes when he saw the chocolate pastry. He narrows his eyes at me as he tries to read me.

"I'll go with vanilla." He answers.

"Argh! Boring." How can anyone like the plain old vanilla without any chocolate syrup is beyond me. I mean I am a sucker of all things chocolate. A smug smile appears on his face, a very-pleased-with-myself smug smile, after I made my comment. How could that be for?

"It's about time I try it." He says with the same smug smile and I frown slightly. What is going in his head? I let go of the thought and place my order of his vanilla and my Belgium chocolate. The guy hands us our ice-cream, and Christian pulls out his credit card just the same moment I pull some cash out. The guy takes my cash and now it's my turn to smile smugly at him. He needs to come back to 21st century from the sixteen hundreds he's living in. He glares at the poor ice-cream guy for not taking his card and the poor guy just shrugs while pointing at me. I take his hand and pull him forcefully off the counter and he comes along reluctantly. He has some serious issues with me paying. We walk on the crowded sidewalk of the Pike Place holding hands like some love-sick teenagers. It just feels right.

"You should try my vanilla, it's amazing." He stretches out his cone to me, I scrunch my nose not wanting to eat vanilla but do it anyway. Hmm, I can taste him in his ice-cream and vanilla isn't that bad.

"Hmm, not as bad as I thought. I would even say it's good!" And he grins as soon as these words slip from my tongue. There is definitely going something in his head. I sup my ice-cream again, still standing in our spot and he just eyes me with some unknown expectation. Oh! I get it. You want my ice-cream, Grey?

"What?" I ask acting partially confused and amused.

"Won't you ask me to taste yours?" He sounds pleading and almost astonished. Oh! I am just enjoying this so much.

"Nope." I say petulantly and take another bite of my ice-cream teasing him.

"Well, in that case I have no choice." He murmurs in my ear and in no time his lips are on mine, he tongue pushing my lips apart, I part them in utter surprise and without wasting a moment he glides his tongue in my mouth and ravages it. The other thing I know is my tongue creasing his as my lip sucks his gently.

"Tastes absolutely amazing from you." He whispers in my ear. I feel as if I am hit by a thunderbolt. He is so gutsy! I can feel my cheeks burning and I am pretty sure I am crimson by now, thankfully its dark so he cannot see much.

"I can't believe you just did that." I murmur in surprise as he took a bite of my ice-cream without breaking our eye contact. This eye thing is just so sexy!

"Ugh! Definitely tasted better from you." He smirks again and I shake my head as we move towards his car.


We take in the parking garage of Escala and I can feel his whole body tense besides me, he lifts his arms and puts his head in his hands before racing his fingers through his hair in agony. A part of me is nervous but confusingly exited to know as well. A part of me is unsure and afraid but the other is strong and willed. What is this past that he is so tense about?

"Ana?" He whispers in a sad tone.

"Christian." I reply in a soft voice and wait for him to say something but he doesn't. He looks at me with lost eyes, "Hey, its okay." I try to reassure both him as well as myself. He looks at me with eyes that scream that it's not okay, that he doesn't believe what I am saying right now but he manages to nod and get out of the car anyway. We move to the god damn elevator again. These elevators are going to kill me. As we step in the elevator there is that god forsaken electricity again. I can feel an external force pushing me towards him and him towards me. The whole aura turns hot with the flying sparks. I turn to look at him and find him already eyeing me with lustful eyes. Wow! I love that look in his eyes but that's the last thing I want right now before having a tough shit talk. Head straight, Steele. I sense that he's about to jump on me as his eyes turn a few shades darker than they already were.

"Don't even think about it, Christian. You've had your fair share of kisses for the day." I murmur and he pouts as I pull a stop on his plans. Less than two minutes ago he was despairing and now look at this man, wanting to kiss me breathless and pouting when restricted. So mercurial. He gives me his puppy eyes with a pleading pout but I am taking none for it. "We both need a straight mind for this thing, honey, and I don't seem to have it when you as much as touch me." I smile shyly at him while revealing a bit more than I should.

"Touch? Just knowing that you are looking at me as you do, smiling at me that sexy smile, hell, just knowing that you are in my close proximity makes me lose my mind." He says in one breath. I am glad I have this effect on him. At least it's not one way. "And, when it comes to you, there is nothing like fair share." He whispers huskily as I blush a furious shade of red. The elevator comes to a halt, he takes my hand in his moves outside. I stop in my steps as we enter the foyer of his penthouse, and bring him to a pause as well. I pull his hand softly towards myself signing him to move closer to me and he does, I lean forward and kiss him deeply and gently on his lips. I guess it's the reassurance we both need at the moment.

I sit in the great-room while he excuses himself to bring some orange juice for the both of us on my request as we both need to have some soberness for whatever this talk will be that makes him think that I am going to run away. He gets us both a glass and sits on the same couch as mine with reasonable distance between us and sits facing me. I take a deep breath and settle my wandering thoughts.

"I told you I never had a girlfriend before." He says which makes me think that he lied about it, not that I am saying he's lying but why would he mention it this way? I nod and he continues, "There is a reason why I didn't have any girlfriend, because… I didn't do the girlfriend thing before you." He says it as if it's a bad thing. Girlfriend thing. "Now please remember what I am going to say is in my past, Ana, though not so old, but it still is my past." He pleads and I nod before he continues, "I never wanted a girlfriend, I won't say I was happy because I was the farthest thing from it but I was comfortable in the life and the walls that I had created for myself. I never thought I was capable to feel what I feel with you and for you, that anyone could give me what you give me. Hell, I can't even believe it now. No woman ever appealed to me the way you do, made me feel the same way, I have been with women before, Ana, a lot of woman, sexually I mean. But they don't mean anything, Ana, they were just sexual partners. I never had an emotional connect with any of them again because I was never capable of that, at least I thought that I wasn't until I came across you. You know, I am not the hearts and flowers type of guy, I don't do romance. I am not the person you think I am. You don't know the depths of my depravity, Ana. No. No Ana, I can't do this. No." He screams the last few sentences at himself rather than me but what does he mean he can't do this? Is he breaking up with me? He can't break up with me. I never expected him to be an inexperienced person like me. I expected a line of girlfriends or whatever he calls them until he told me he didn't have any ever. Why can't he do this?

"What do you mean you can't do this? Do what? Be with me?" My voice broken and bleak, he runs his fingers in his hair.

"Ana, you deserve better, much better than me. You deserve a guy who can give you all the hearts and flowers. You deserve to be loved. I can't do that, Ana. I have never done that. Once you know everything about me, you are going to run away anyway. I just don't want you to hate me once you know." He howls in desperation, anger and frustration. He is blind or just out of his mind? Can't he see he does all those things for me? Why all this self-loathing?

"I have a guy who gives me all the hearts and flowers, who never misses a chance to romance me and make me blush. You really don't see that?" I ask firmly yet softly and he remains quite as he lets my words sink in his head. He eyes softens and so does his whole body.

"You really think so?" He asks completely unsure of himself. How can he be the powerful over-successful megalomaniac CEO a moment and a lost puppy the other?

"I know so! Christian, of all the people in the world I never thought you would be one to underestimate yourself. You make me happy…a lot happier than anyone else can make me." I reassure him, he sighs a deep breath out of relief. Never did I ever think that a man so confident could be so unsure of himself.

"Oh! Ana, you make me so happy and this feeling is so alien to me. I have never been happy, I have never known what it was to be happy until you came along. I want to be selfish and keep you with me but I can't, I can't be selfish when it comes to you but I don't want you to leave me either." He says and my heart swells that I give him so much happiness but at the same time a part of it sinks realizing that he has never experienced happiness before.

"You don't get to say that you don't do romance after saying things like that to me. Christian, stop thinking that I'll go once I know what this all is. You need to leave that for my better judgment but having said that I don't think I have enough strength to walk away from you. I never expected for you to be inexperienced, Christian, though a part of me doubted your sexual experience when you mentioned the lack of girlfriends in your past but I expected a line of girlfriends in your past before I got to know you, girlfriends or one night stands or whatever you call them." I reason him.

"Submissives." He whispers. Submissives? Did I hear correct? "They were my submissives, Ana. Have you heard about BDSM?" He questions. I have heard about this lifestyle.

"You mean Bondage, Dominance, Sadism and Masochism?" I counter question and he just nods. "Yes, I have heard about it and read an article on it once in a lifestyle magazine. Couples pursue it to add some spice and kink or so they wrote in the article." I murmur. Was he into this lifestyle? Why doesn't he just break it all on me at once?

"You probably read a mild article on it." He mutters and runs his hands through his hair. He does that when he feels anything which is not good. I take his hand in mine and he takes a deep breath, "Ana, I am into BDSM… I mean I was. I was a dominant, Ana, and this lifestyle is pretty severe than you read it…" and he continues to explain me about this freaky lifestyle that he was into where the dom, who is my boyfriend, likes to hit his sub, that would be the woman he had sex with, with some heinous stuff like whips and canes and not to mention she likes it just as much. The contractual relationships with NDAs. Nope, I don't see an ounce of emotion there. I can't believe this Christian could have been so cold, ever. He explains about his contracts and something like hard-limit and soft-limit and how this whole contract thing worked. Well, I guess nothing is wrong until it's consensual. Jesus! People really do that? This beating is fucking scary, though bondage sounds fine and kind of exciting as well but caning and whipping for fuck sakes. He must have something like a dungeon in here or somewhere to do all those things or is he keeping all those whips and canes in his bedroom. Shut up, Steele, you have been in his bedroom.

"When we first met, did you envision a Dom-Sub relationship for us?" As much sad my voice sounds, I wanted to know that, I wanted to get it out.

"You were the person who made me see through it, Ana, not my shrink who I pay an insanely high amount to, not any of the submissive, not anyone. You. I could never bring myself to do all those horrible things to you, even if you beg me to. Even if we don't work out, I don't think I will ever be able to get involved into that severe part of BDSM, you made me see through it." He says the last few lines in hopelessness and despair, his voice was so bleak when he brought himself to say that we might not work. This is so overwhelming, I still don't understand what I did to have this effect on him but it sure makes me happy and every nerve in my body wants to believe him but I know it's too soon for such leap of faith.

"If we don't work out, you would get back into BDSM? Why won't pursue dating?" I ask.

"Because, Ana, dating involves these emotions and feelings which I have felt for only one woman ever and I don't think I will feel these things for someone else. If I want more with someone, I want it with you, only you. It took me 27 years to find you, find these feelings which I didn't know existed in me. All this jealousy, care, protectiveness, possessiveness, happiness… you bought it in my life with you. I never felt any of that before for anyone." He says with the most sincere and serious eyes. I can't bring myself to be happy with this revelation, how can I? He never felt happy before? Not a day of happiness for no reason? "Plus, I told you about my fear of being touched, I-I can't bear anyone's touch on my chest and back" He pauses and frowns at something in his head before continuing, "except yours." He completes. This is what he was frowning about and in no time I find myself frowning too.

"Why can't you bear to be touched, what happened? And if you can't, why are you immune to my touch?" It's out even before I could think it through.

"Let's keep that for later, Ana, I don't want you to be buried in my baggage. The end point is, I cannot bear to be touched, with an extreme exception of you, whose touch I… I… I like and crave and I have no idea why only you, believe me, I am more confused than you are. It's going to be an interesting session with my therapist." Okay, so yes, he has a shrink who he pays an insanely high amount and he couldn't get him see past a BDSM relationship? Expensive charlatan, if you ask me.

"Is there anything else you need to tell me?" I ask in a low voice as I can see him fidgeting, he nods and looks at me with fear in his gray eyes.

"Ana, I am a sadist." Wait, what? He can't be. Didn't he just hear himself a minute ago?

"Uh, I beg to differ." I say and he looks at me quizzically, "Didn't you just say two minutes ago that you couldn't even think of whipping and caning me, even if I begged you to?" I ask him, now I am confused too. He just said that and now he says he's a sadist? That is some high self-loath he has. He doesn't say anything and looks deep in thought. Good! That little head in there need some thinking.

"Yes, but you are different and… I don't know." He says extremely confused and unsure of himself. Shall I explain it to him what I think?

"Christian, I don't think you are a sadist. I doubt you would find pleasure if you push someone from the stairs or hit them from your bare hand or something, isn't that what sadism is? Getting pleasure in someone's pain? Just because you were in a kinky lifestyle, in a consensual relationship where both people liked this… beating… doesn't make you a sadist, it was consensual and contracted and part of the lifestyle. You say you can't bring yourself to do that to me, so just imagine me in that whipping scenario and check if it turns you-" He cuts me in between with a high tone.

"Fuck NO. Not you in that place. NO." Just as I thought. Can't he see he's not a sadist? He did it because it was a stupid consensual relationship and those women liked it when he did that.

"See, not a sadist." Wow, Steele, you should rather become his shrink! He looks at me with adoration and amazement in his eyes.

"I never thought it this way, will speak about it to John." John? His shrink? "John Flynn, that my therapist." He answers my unvoiced question. "Ana, really, did you just make me see that I am not a sadist?" He says looking straight in the empty couch in front of us, still in disbelief. "I don't know if I believe your theory but god knows I want to." He says truthfully.

"Believe all you want, I know you are not a sadist. Okay, one more case scenario, when we bumped and my head hit the ground, you must have saw the pain on my face, did it do something to you?" I ask.

"No, that didn't do anything but you did a lot to me in that moment." A very soft smirk appears on his face due to the recollection and I blush furiously on his revelation. He was turned one then? Now I am feeling all jittery and flushed.

"Can I ask you something?" I question, unsure of what I am thinking.

"Anything." He whispers.

"How many of these women have you had in your bed?" I murmur. Do you really want to know this, Steele?

"None." He whispers and I look at him quizzically to which he continues and tells me he never had sex in his own bed or anywhere except his playroom. Oh! And that is not the place where he keeps his PSP and X-box and stuff, how do I know? Well I asked! He gives me the details of how these relationships worked, if even I can call them a relationship, an arrangement as he says is more suitable. Separate bedrooms, clothes, weekend visits, no love making which he calls a vanilla relationship, only fucking and beating. Okay so this was all his secretive smiles on vanilla ice-cream. He had been living such a void life, how the fuck did he get into this mess? No one deserves this life. After telling me that he still has his playroom for me to look at and understand his past as to make the best decision for myself and my straight refusal to look at that part of his past, finally the bummer comes, fifteen women. Fucking shit, FIFTEEN! That's some number but a part of me is happy that they were just sexual arrangements and that he never took them out on a real date but it's traumatizing to think a whole weekend trapped in a dungeon of pain. What were those women? Robots? Void of human emotions?

"That is a lot of women." A wave of jealousy and hurt touches me but suddenly it hits me that I have nothing in comparison to his experience leaving me feeling jealous, hurt, sad and somewhat inadequate. I hate this feeling. How can i feel inadequate, this is not me. There have been times when guys feel inadequate around me, well I hate that feeling as well but this is the first time I am feeling this and I hate it.

"Ana, they didn't mean anything. They were just sexual partners." This is third or fourth time I am hearing him say that, but the seriousness in his voice levels up every time.

"When was the last time you had a sub?" I ask abruptly.

"It's been three months I had any." He replies. Oh thank god! I don't know what I would have done if he had said he hushed someone two days back. He must have thought this through to leave this lifestyle. How did he get into it?

"Why did it end?" Please tell me I am not being a nagging girlfriend right now.

"Because she wanted more." Oh! More than the dungeon.

"And you didn't?" I counter. Can this happen to me as well? Because I clearly want a functional relationship, functional in every mean.

"Not with her." He says firmly and there he does it again and then he says he doesn't do romance. He wants more with me! I smile lightly at this response as he continues, "Ana, I have never wanted more with anyone, it's only ever been you." With that I am floored, I just stare at him with adoration. All he has been is truthful to me, I guess he needs to know the part of me which has the potential to drive him away. Well, zero experience! What? I did the right thing and I am proud that I waited for the right guy to come along. Okay, a part of me is a little scared that he might drive me away but I didn't want my first time to be in a backseat or a storeroom and fear that someone might walk-in on me doing it with some horny teenager who had no clue what he was doing. Before I can find words, he shifts near me and cups my face in his hand, looks straight in my eyes and says, "You are my more." In the most sincere voice and my heart races speedily as a pink blush covers my cheeks and a smile spreads on my lips.

"I am glad." I murmur really thankful that I am not alone in these feelings.

"You are? Does that mean you are not going to leave me?" He asks in an utterly surprised or rather shocked voice.

"For the love of god, Christian!" I exasperate, "NO, I AM NOT." I say each word slowly and clearly for once and for all. He has been repeating the same thing about me leaving about a hundred times now. As soon as those words leave my mouth his lips land on mine in the most passionate yet gentle manner, just lips, his creasing mine lovingly and worshiping every inch on them. I can feel his lips tremble on mine so I kiss him more deeply to give him the reassurance that he needs.

"But there is something about me that will not necessarily make you happy. You should know." Okay, Steele, you are going for the bummer now.

"There isn't anything about you that will make me unhappy." He says firmly and I can put my finger on some hurt in his voice. Oh! Did I hurt him with that?

"Okay, say it once you know." I say sarcastically and he glares at me, I can see the anger in his eyes. I avoid his gaze and turn my head and look in front before continuing, "The thing is… umm… you just revealed that you have had fifteen women and that makes you very experienced, sexually I mean, and I am sure all those women must have been pretty experienced as well. Okay, I don't know how to say it." I put my head in my hands. I really don't know how to fucking say it!

"You can tell me anything you want, baby. What is it?" He asks concerned.

"I am not as experienced as they must have been, rather I am not experienced at all." I whisper and there is silence, complete silence for a moment that seemed like a lifetime.

"What do you mean?" He murmurs slowly.

"I mean… I am a virgin." There. Said it all. He takes a deep breath and I have no idea if that's because of frustration or whatever.

"You are a virgin?" Thank you for stating the obvious, but why did it sound like a cheer? I look at him and see a wicked expression on his face, his eyebrows touching his hairline. Okay, so he looks surprised rather than shocked or so I believe. I frown slightly of what to make out of this reaction. He comes close to me, cups my face in his hands, "God Ana, what part of it did you think will make me unhappy? You just made me the happiest man alive! To think I am going to your first lover, first man to be with you, to be the first person to worship you, that you will only ever be mine. It's the biggest turn-on ever!" WHAT? He is over-joyous! Am I hearing everything right? Of all the reactions I did not expect this one, cross my heart and hope to die. I look down as a blush creeps my cheeks at the thought of worshiping me and there I see the evidence of his arousal, I can clearly see a tent forming in his pants which makes me blush rather furiously.

"You seem content." I say.

"You have a talent of understatements, Miss Steele. You know, you just saved your virtual ex-boyfriends I was planning to kill once I found out about them." He says playfully. God! This whole virgin thing made him this happy? He can be so unpredictable at times and there is no way in hell am I going to tell him about the few guys I dated in sec. and high-school. None of those worked out because mostly I wasn't interested.

"I did not expect this reaction, at all." I say truthfully while blushing and he chuckles.

"And I didn't expect you to be a virgin, at all. How did you manage to survive, no I mean… no one stays a virgin a few months over sixteen and you are twenty-one, whatever maybe the reason, thank god for that!" He sighs out of relief and I giggle at his response.

"I didn't want my first time to be in a backseat of a car or just give it away to a hormonal jerk who won't even look back at me. I wanted to save for the right guy and when I was almost sure there isn't any for me, I bumped into you, both literally and metaphorically." I giggle on my admission and he kisses me lightly and I can feel the passion he has for me.

"Thank you, Ana." I am not sure what it is for, but I can't get myself to question. I smile shyly at him and kiss his nose.

"Can I ask you something?" I whisper as I get back, he looks at me and a smile appears on his lips.

"Anything, you know that." He says confidently.

"How did you get into this?" I ask genuinely interested in that but what he says next makes me lose it all.

"One of my mother's friend…" Holy fucking shit! He tells me about some fucking pedophile who seduced him and dragged him in that awful lifestyle, a child in that lifestyle, a fifteen year old boy. If I ever see her, I am going to rip her apart with my fingernails and let dogs feed on her but the old bitch must be too smelly for even a dog. He tells me everything, how he worked for her during a summer in her yard and how she seduced him with kisses and slaps and how he was a problem kid and thought he deserved that. See, self-loathing again. I am stunned to know he subbed for her for 6 fucking years and she was his fucking friend who supplied him subs all these years, that makes her what? A pimp? Jesus Christ. You don't get that lady in front of me for her betterment or else I will not be responsible for her broken nose and neck. As much anger and rage I feel in myself for that fucking pedophile, I feel abundance of in sadness and trepidation for the little fifteen year old boy who went off-track but still was a child. Why do people have to be this way? What would they earn out of traumatizing and harassing a teen? I just wish Christian could have escaped her claws and smacked that jaw of hers. Before I know, I feel his thumb on my cheeks wiping some stray tears which fell without any prior indication or notice. Traitors.

"Bitch pedophile." I manage to put as much anger and contempt in those two words as I can muster.

"It's okay, baby. Please don't cry." He says and pulls me in his lap as he rubs my back and I place my head in the crook of his head and hug the life out of him.

"Why the fuck didn't you run, Christian?" For fuck's sake don't say you deserved that, not your self-loathing all over again.

"Ana, I told you I was out of control, the beating she gave me kept my world in place. I became everything my parents wanted me to." What is wrong with this man? All he needed was a girlfriend and sex at the time with raging hormones in a fifteen year old boy and that bitch pedo made him see that he wanted and deserved those horrible things, this is where the self-loathing comes from. That bitch did this to him and she is still roaming in and out of his parents' house being her mother's best friend. I understand why he didn't tell his parents about this, she must have blackmailed and scared the living shit out of him. I can understand this too well, relate to it as well.

"Christian, look at me." I take his face in my hands and force him to look up, "You did not deserve that. Do you understand me? Don't you even dare think you did. All you needed was some help, love and care. That pedophile bitch used you for her own fucked up needs. As much troubled as you were, you were still a child." I say every work as firmly and as clearly as I can while looking straight in his eyes and he just engulfs me in his arms and hugs me as if I am going to disappear into thin air.

"Christian?" I whisper.

"Yes, Ana." He murmurs.


Author's Note.

Cliffhanger be a bitch! Who hate cliffhangers? Because clearly I DO! :P

So people, I think Christian out-did himself and Ana was smashing! This lady certainly has some spark and a speedy mind, don't you think?

Tell me what you think about our main characters and the chapter!

DO REVIEW! You know they mean a lot to me and yes, I'll never fail to say that your review is my only reward for my efforts.

I haven't started chapter 12 yet but I will. And yes, its a request to some of the guest reviewers kindly don't over-anxious and write stuff like "I don't think she will complete the story" and stuff like that, its nice to know that this story is important to you but its about time you realise its equally important to me as well. I just panic slightly when I read such reviews and all I feel like doing is posting an unedited and incomplete chapter with which neither of us will be happy. I don;t keep chapters hostage, I know i owe this much to my readers. Hope you understand.

I'll be back soon! Cliffhangers kill me too! :P Take care everyone. Lotsa love!

Reviews are always highly appreciated. Well they are the only thing that keep me working on the story.