You'll Be In My Heart
Chapter 10: The Unfeeling Child
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Author's Note: Here you go! Another chapter! And I wrote it up so quickly! I know! You love me, right? I got my groove back! Whoo hoo! Yeah, but I don't know for sure what direction the next chapter is gonna go… Maybe Naraku POV! That might be cool! We shall see! Maybe!
Special Thanks To: Karin Kinomoto, Taeniaea, CrazyPoet, juusan'ya, Catbuddy
Kanna's POV, the dirty traitor... or is she? We don't know for sure! Anyways, it is in Kanna's POV unless I tell you otherwise.
Now Read!
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Kanna's POV
.:Flashback:.
I watch as Naraku bends over a barely conscious Kagome. With his changeable bone sharpened claw he slits open her arm pausing to allow the blood to flow. Once he feels a good amount has bled from the wound he cuts open his own hand, allowing some blood to drip onto the ground, before pressing it to the wound he created on Kagome.
She shrieks in pain, the sound deafening to my sensitive demon hearing. I look away, wondering what harm I just helped set in motion. What effect could this have upon Kagome?
.:End Flashback:.
Each time I relive that moment the anguish in her scream causes me to regret the harm I have caused her. I could have easily not done what Naraku asked of me. Yes, I would have been punished. He most definitely would have taken out his anger on me. Maybe that's why I still betrayed Kagome, knowing that Naraku was going to harm me. He is my master after all.
Was I was afraid he would hurt me? Do I still feel fear anymore? Do I have any emotions left within me? Do I once again fit who I was created to be? Yes. I believe I am an emotionless void once more.
But then, what is this feeling I am experiencing now? Could it be… guilt? But wouldn't that have to mean I still have some semblance of emotions left within me? Does this mean all is not lost? Or is it just my imagination? Do I even have an imagination?
It could even be that I only think this feeling I have is guilt. Maybe I remember the feeling of guilt from the time before Naraku's return and know that this is what I should be feeling, but in reality I am not. No feeling. Nothing.
Yes. That must be it. I only think I am experiencing guilt. That's why I'm silently heading to Kagome's room with the Intention to speak with her and ask for her forgiveness. Yes, that's the reason. It's certainly not because I actually feel this way. I just know what I should be doing and am doing so.
As I enter the room, it takes Kagome a few seconds to register my presence. I have no scent, which is the way Naraku created me.
"What do you want?" Her words are harsh, matching that of the gaze glaring painfully upon me. I deserve nothing less. I would understand if she hated me forever. I earned such treatment and wouldn't understand if she gave me anything less.
"I just wanted to see how you were doing." I answer. No emotion. If I felt any concern this is something I might ask.
"I'm fine." She turns away from me and leans against the wall, clutching her arm. The same arm that… is permanently scarred… The arm Naraku continues to inflict pain upon.
Silence reigns upon us. A reminder of the rift I created between us.
"Is there anything else you wanted? Because if that is all you needed I'd like it if you left me alone. I don't want to have to spend anymore time around you than I have too." If I had any emotions inside of me her words would have cut like a knife, slicing the heart open that I might have had.
"Kagome, I--" She interrupts me then, not allowing me to continue.
"I don't want to hear it, Kanna. You chose your path. We are friends no longer, and I would prefer it if you'd left me alone now. I only want to speak with you if I absolutely have to. I might do something I'd later regret. If you cared for me at all you'd leave now."
I nod. And turn to leave, just as she requested of me. What emotion should I be experiencing now? Oh, yes. I know: Loss. Maybe even self loathing for what I have done. But of course I feel none of these things. Remember, I experience nothing. I am an empty void, created to follow the orders of my master. That is my purpose and shall forever remain so.
As I continue my way down the hall out of her room, I pass by Naraku. When he sees me his empty face breaks into a frighteningly happy smile.
"Hello, Kanna. I was just making my routine visit to the lovely, Kagome. I trust she is in a good mood today?" He asks me.
I nod. It's so much easier than speech. One nod of the head and your answer is conveyed so easily.
"Good." Naraku's grin broadens. "That will make things so much more enjoyable then." Naraku continues on his way and enters Kagome's room.
I hear what sounds like a small tussle -- a sign that Kagome is resisting his advances -- and then the coppery scent of blood fills my nose. Once a day he performs this ritual and the same thing happens each time. A small struggle, the scent of blood... and then Kagome's anguished scream.
I still have yet to understand the importance of this procedure. Only that each time he does so, Kagome becomes… less herself. She is changing and I can't seem to understand why.
It's quiet now. Kagome must have passed out again like she has done numerous times before. How many days have passed since the first time? Four? Five? How much longer is this to go on?
I hide in a shadowed corner as Naraku passes by, talking to himself. "Her spiritual powers are quite advanced… but she will succumb soon. I can feel her strength diminishing… won't be long now! Soon the miko shall be under my control."
When he is gone I step out from the shadows and head outside.
Naraku has taken us to a new hiding place very different from the island we had originally hidden ourselves on. This place suits our dark outlook much better. Rarely does sunshine down on this place. No living things grow here, no living creatures live here. Vast rocky cliffs and slopes surround us, hindering any chances of escape.
I walk up to the ledge of one cliff and look down, just to see what might be there. I'm not surprised when I can't see the bottom. It's too deep and too dark. I imagine it goes on till the end of the earth. I wonder what would happen if…
'Kanna.'
I jump, startled, nearly sending myself over the edge into the dark abyss below. Was that fear I just experienced? Perhaps all emotion is not lost?
'Kanna.'
Oh, yes. Kagura is trying to speak with me.
'Yes, Kagura? Did you need something?'
'I just wanted an update. Can you tell us anything more about Naraku's plans? How is Kagome? Has anything changed since we last spoke? The others are getting antsy, not knowing if she is still alive or not. I haven't talked to you in almost a week. How are things going?'
I hesitate in responding, and Kagura seems to sense something in my pause.
'What happened?' She asks me, slightly worried.
'Naraku has put his plan into action.' Is all I say. 'He's moved us too. We are no longer on the island.'
'What? Where has he moved you to? Can you tell me where? And what is he planning? Do you know?! I need to know all the information you can offer me.' She's more urgent now, her worry and fear more prominent.
'This new location is much different than the last. It will be very difficult for you to reach.' Briefly I describe our new home and then move on to other things. 'And he is performing some kind of ritual or something on Kagome. I can see that he is planning something with her. But I can't seem to figure it out.'
'What kind of ritual?' Kagura wants to know.
'I don't even know if that's what you would call it. Once a day he goes to visit her and I hear her shrieking in pain. I saw him do this once. He slit open a wound on her arm and once it had bled a little, he cut his own hand and placed his wound upon hers. I don't know what it does, but each time I go to visit after he is through, Kagome she is somehow different. I can't explain how.'
'I'll see if the others know about it. Maybe Sesshoumaru or Miroku can tell us something about it. Is their anything else you can tell me?'
'Kagura--' I start to tell her about my betrayal, the horrific wrong I have caused but stop myself. I can't bring myself to tell Kagura what I have done. What if she turns her back on me as well? Is this another emotion I thought I had suppressed? 'No. That's it. I've told you all I know.'
'Okay. Well, don't hesitate contact me if you learn anything else. I'll check back soon.' She sounds doubtful, but still I say nothing.
The good thing about this mental connection we share— if that is the correct terminology for it— is that Kagura cannot use it to read my mind or see what I am thinking. It's an odd ability in that it only allows Kagura to know or see what I want her to, nothing more, nothing less. This aspect of our link aids me in hiding the betrayal I have done. I'm grateful for this.
Until I gain the courage— ah! Another human emotion! — Kagura will never know what harm I have caused. For some reason I can't bear to tell her. I don't understand why. I don't understand anything any more.
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Kagura's POV (I didn't know else's pov to put it in…)
"Yes, I think I have heard of something like this being done before…" Miroku says after I finish telling them what Kanna has revealed to me.
"Okay… Are you gonna tell us about it?" I ask him when he remains silent for longer than I'd like.
"Yes, of course." He seems to snap out of his thoughts and stands up from the fallen log he was conveniently sitting on. "I was just thinking. I want to get my wording right…"
"Oh, will you just get on with it, Monk!" Inuyasha snaps angrily. Any information that could help him find his precious Kagome never fails to send Inuyasha into one of his moods.
"Alright, alright! Hold your horses! Hanyous these days…" The monk trails off when he notices the angry look the hanyou he spoke of was giving him. "Anyways… long ago I heard of this type of procedure being performed. If I remember correctly it's often used as a means to control someone. One person will mix their blood with that of the person they intend to manipulate, focusing all their energy on what they want said person to do. But for it to work the person performing the ritual must have great power to be able to manipulate the blood he is forcing inside of the victim" Miroku pauses as if to collect his thoughts and then continues again.
"The stronger the person the procedure is being performed upon, the longer it takes for the ritual to take effect. And it doesn't last forever. Once the person has performed the task he or she was intended to do, the spell is broken. From what I gather, I believe you can only control a person once. I'm also certain that those who have tried this have failed. But this is Naraku we are dealing with… He might be able to make it work."
"I think I have come across something like this once our twice in my lifetime." Sesshoumaru adds pensively. "The procedure cannot be performed on humans. They are too weak and the mixing of foreign blood kills them."
"So Naraku plans to control Kagome? But what for?" The ookami asks.
"Gee! I don't know! Do you think it might have something to do with his revenge?" I say sarcastically.
"I know that much! I just was wondering how controlling Kagome could achieve something like that!" He retorts, not too smartly I might add.
We all remain silent for a moment, thinking, wondering.
"Do you think he might be planning to turn Mom against us?" Minako offers, leaning against her brother for comfort. I can tell she doesn't want this to be true— that's possibly why she brought it up, for someone to tell her she's wrong.
We stare at her in disbelief, thinking her words over.
"What else could it be?" Sesshoumaru says. He was never one to lay it on ya gently, as I recall. He also never was one to lie or sugar coat things. If he was gonna tell you something it most definitely was going to the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
"Naraku plans to use Kagome and her abilities against us. Now that we know this the scale has tipped to our advantage. Naraku is as good as dead." Sesshoumaru says confidently, though no emotion shows on his placid features.
"S-so you think Naraku wants to control Kagome? And make her fight against us? I-I don't think I could do that! I can't fight Kagome! She's been like a sister to me!" Sango says on the verge of tears.
Humans are so emotional. I will never understand them.
Miroku wraps his arms around Sango, trying to calm her.
"Don't worry Aunt Sango. We'll save her. Now that we know what Naraku is up to there is nothing stopping us from defeating him." Ichiro says confidently. "We just won't let anything get us down. We have to keep fighting for her."
"The kid's right. We can't let something like this dampen our moods. If we are going to take Naraku out for good this time, we have to keep moving on to the next obstacle without incident." Kouga says. For once he opens his mouth and something intelligent comes out!
"Which is…?" I trail off.
"To locate Naraku. Duh!" Kouga glares at me as if I am the stupid one. I hate that baka ookami! I know our past isn't all the great, but that doesn't mean we can't move on like grown demons. I guess for someone as pig headed as him, that's impossible.
"Let me tell you one thing," I point my fan at Kouga but my words are directed at the whole group, "Naraku is not going to let himself be found until he is good and ready. Until then there is nothing more we can do. I spent years under his control. I know how he does things."
"So you expect us to just sit around while Naraku harms Kagome?" Inuyasha growls, advancing towards me. Was he always this touchy? "There is no way that you are not working for Naraku. You've gotta be if you're suggesting we sit on our asses while he's out there somewhere planning and scheming!"
The hanyou makes to lunge at me but is blocked by his ever so helpful half brother.
"What the fuck are you doing, Sesshoumaru? She's working for Naraku! I gotta stop her!" He fights against his brother's tightening grip on his shoulder, not even succeeding in loosing the elder youkai's hold upon himself.
"You, little brother, are out of your mind. What proof do you have the she is on the side of Naraku? Did you not see the way he treated her after our little meeting with him a few days ago? It didn't seem that she was on his side to me."
"For all we know that could be a ruse!" Good point… but it's wrong!
"This Sesshoumaru thinks not." Sesshoumaru says with an air of finality. "And we will not be 'sitting on our asses' as you so put it, but we will continue our search and send word to Shippo, telling him what is going on. I'm sure he must be curious as to what we are doing right now."
Many eyes stare upon Sesshoumaru. Since when does he care about Shippou?
"And who, I ask, are we sending to inform Shippo of what is going on?" Miroku raises an eyebrow quizzically at Sesshomaru.
"We'll send Kirara." Sesshoumaru waves his hand dismissively. "Someone write a note and attach it to her."
"There ya go. The great and powerful Sesshoumaru has spoken. Let's write that note and send Kirara off on her way." Miroku says to Sango.
Sango sighs and rolls her eyes. "Let's get this over with. You do know that once we do this, Shippo will most likely join us." Sango points out.
"Yes. But the time of great need is drawing near. We may need him with us." I say.
The group stares at me awkwardly. What did I say? "What?"
"'time of great need'" Inuyasha clarifies. "What the hell does that mean?"
"It means we are gonna be fighting Naraku soon, dipshit!" Kouga informs the stupid hanyou.
And of course a pointless rumble ensues between dog and wolf. I shake my head and turn away. Maybe one will kill the other and this will all be over.
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So we now know a lot more! And why Naraku is doing what he is doing! Evil! So evil! I kinda liked writing in Kanna's POV. It was fun but a little on the difficult side. I'm not sure I capture her all that well. But Yes, I enjoyed writing as her very much!!
Kouga is so mean to Yashie-kun! Or more accurately they are all mean to each other… There is still more greatness to come!
Got any questions? Was there anything that was unclear to anyone? Well then, all you need too do to fix that is:
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Your one and only,
Clouds of the Sky
