AN Giant thanks to my amazing beta, Robzbeanie – she's a super speedy, bread baking, beta machine, and I'm super grateful for all of her help. Big thanks also to my pre-reader CShepherd91 for being so wonderful! xoxo

The shadows of the trees on my wall that night were reminding me of Bella. I thought one of them looked like her, then the wind shifted the branches and it looked more like a minotaur. I was clearly losing my mind.

After Jasper briefly announced that Charlie was escorting Jake back to rehab, everyone went back to their respective beds. Rosalie called an emergency group meeting for the next morning, and told us all to try and get some rest.

I tossed and turned, unable to shut off my brain. My face throbbed, but it wasn't nearly as distracting as the burn I felt after my kiss with Bella. I wanted to be able to bask in it, relive the moment and then some, but my mind just wouldn't let me. Flashes of Bella's warm mouth on mine were mixed in with the crazed look on Jake's face as he swore and swung at me. It was disturbing, and I needed to shut it all off.

Early the next morning, everyone gathered in the living room. We all clutched tightly to our coffee mugs – the entire group, with the exception of Bella, looked like shit. Despite the dark circles under her eyes, she was beautiful – at least to me. She'd sat a spot over from me in the circle, which at first I was bothered by, but then thought it was probably wise to not be so obvious. She caught my eye moments after sitting and shot me a big grin while her cheeks flushed pink. She then mouthed "Hey" at me, and all was well in my world.

Sam and Embry couldn't stop yawning. Quil's eyes were red and bloodshot – he looked like he'd barely slept at all. Jasper and Emmett were deep in a hushed discussion, while Rosalie fiddled with a clunky old phone on the coffee table in the middle of the room.

"Can you hear me?" Rosalie asked loudly, as the room quieted down. She had her blonde hair pulled back in a messy bun, and next to no makeup on – it was the least done up I'd ever seen her. She was still just as hot without all the fuss.

"Yes, Rose. Hello, guys." Charlie's rough voice came through the phone line loud and clear. A "Charlie's Angels" joke popped into my head, but I figured given the recent events it would've been inappropriate.

"I'm gonna give you all an update, then you can ask questions once I'm through. We clear?" Everyone replied with a "Yes, Sir" or an "uh-huh."

"Jake has been admitted to the inpatient rehab facility. He'll go through the detox process, just like he has before, and then will be living on site here."

"What the hell?" Quil yelled. "Living there?" he questioned as he jumped up. The expressions on everyone's faces were ones of surprise.

"Quil, son – I'm not finished," Charlie calmly replied. Sam grabbed Quil by the shoulder and wordlessly encouraged him to take a seat.

"Now, as I was saying, Jake won't be back for a long time, if it all. As of right now, he is a danger to himself and others. I had to pull some strings to get him sent here with no charges. This is a hard choice, but the best for everyone – Jake included." Charlie let out a deep sigh. The strong, confident tone he normally spoke in was gone. He sounded exhausted.

"With Jake gone, and it being a busy time of year, we're gonna have to shuffle everyone around to pick up the slack. I won't be back until late tonight, but Embry – you and I will be working the fields. Sam?"

"Yes, Sir?" he asked, leaning slightly towards the speaker.

"You're gonna stick with Quil."

"Already on that, Sir," Sam replied quietly.

"Edward and Jasper? You guys will be field relief, as well as odd jobs. All of this may change soon – Emmett will be posting your new schedules tonight."

I thought about that for a minute. Field relief was fine by me, but it meant odd hours – and odd hours meant less time with Bella.

"Dad – what about the horses? I thought we'd agreed that Edward would –"

"Bella –" Charlie stopped her. "It's just for now, until the harvest is done. Rosalie can help you over the next few days."

"But Dad, it's not just that. What about you? I don't think you should –"

"Bella!" Charlie boomed and then paused. "That is quite enough," he said quietly, quickly getting himself back together.

Bella tossed her hands in the air and shook her head incredulously at Emmett. He shrugged back at her. I could tell she was upset but was trying to hold it in. Her knees started bouncing and she chewed at her cuticles.

"As for this morning – I want you all to take care of yourselves. Enjoy some down time. After lunch, resume your schedules as usual. I'll see you all tonight."

As soon as the dial tone came over the speaker, the room came alive. Quil was ranting to Emmett and Sam – words like "idiot," "moron" and "selfish dick" were clear amongst the rabble. I felt bad for Quil – the kid was only sixteen and had already had to deal with one disappointment after another. Admirably, Sam seemed to have already stepped in where Jake left off.

I moved closer to Bella, who was filling Rosalie in on the stall cleaning schedule.

"Hey – this sucks," I said softly as I sat down beside Bella.

"Yeah, but I'll talk to Charlie," she said with a grin. "You were making good progress with Eclipse – I'll get ya back."

"I don't want to get you in trouble though. I mean, I'm here to do what Charlie says –"

"If you don't want to, Edward, you can just say so," Bella cut me off sharply and her face fell. She was hurt.

"No! That isn't what I meant at all – shit," I said, looking down at my feet. I needed to think carefully here. "Can't we, um, I don't know – find other things to do together?" I was willing to do whatever it would take to get closer to Bella – whatever would work was fine with me.

"You want to?" she asked nervously.

"Yes!" I replied, way too enthusiastically. "I mean, I do. Yeah. I definitely do."

Bella looked up at me slowly, the corners of her mouth pulling into a grin. "Ok – let's let things settle down a bit, then I'll come up with something, k?"

"Come up with what?" Emmett said jovially out of nowhere, as he clasped a giant arm around both Bella's and my shoulders. "You ready, Eddy? You're coming with me."

xoxoxoxoxoxo

Swan Crossing Jr./Sr. High School was a sight for sore eyes. Emmett and I had done a few errands – post office, bank, courthouse – to drop off papers and things, before we arrived at the dilapidated old building. Orange formica countertops, tiled yellow and brown floors – the place was in need of a major face lift. For what it lacked in aesthetics, however, it made up for in enthusiasm.

Emmett and I waited in the empty gymnasium for the guys to arrive. Plaques and banners hung high from the walls, the words "Go Geese Go!" were painted in large red and yellow letters along the far wall, and a case of trophies and medals sat tucked away near the entrance.

Emmett had explained to me on the way over that he coached the free sports program at the school. In addition to working for Charlie, he was employed by the school division. Having a certified teacher like Emmett on site at the Ranch meant more availability for grants and funding, and was also important for credibility. In addition to tutoring at the Ranch, Emmett taught the Jr./ Sr. Boys' Phys. Ed classes as a paid teacher and volunteered his time to the free program.

I'd never worked with teens before. I'd spent a little bit of time around my younger cousins, Jane and Alec, but they were under ten at the time. They were young, and they didn't particularly like me. I had a feeling that this experience would be much the same.

The kids started piling in to the gym shortly after we arrived. There were about 25 of them. Emmett had me help him set up different stations, each with different equipment – balls, racquets, nets, sticks, etc. There was plenty of selection – you'd never know it judging by the looks of the school itself.

The guys had all gathered around the thick black circle that was outlined on the gymnasium floor, like they'd done this a hundred times before. I expected them to be pains in my ass, but they were anything but. They were fairly quiet and patient, talking and laughing amongst themselves.

"Listen up, guys," Emmett called out as he sauntered his way to the middle of the circle. "Today, we're doing stations. I've got my buddy Edward here – he's helping me out today. Anyone gives him grief, and you'll be sitting out next practice, we clear?"

I watched the faces of the kids while Emmett gave instructions for the skills to be practiced at each station. They were in awe of him, eagerly soaking up the tips and tricks he was dishing out on top corner shots in hockey or three-point baskets for basketball.

I'd told Emmett a bit about my own high school sports days on the way to town – back in junior high, I was a star on the baseball team. Emmett thought it would be fun to place me with a glove at a pitching practice station. I was excited – even though I left out the part that come high school, I'd let the whole thing slip away, in favour of spending time with my buddies and screwing off – I was still eager to slip on a glove like old times.

A kid sitting on his own in the circle caught my attention. He had his head resting on his forearms on top of his bent knees. While most of the other kids had gym clothes, this guy stood out in his street clothes. The front of his jeans was dirty – not-washed-forever kind of dirty – and his black t-shirt was stretched out and faded. His dark hair was shaggy, falling in his eyes. He looked familiar, but all hunched over, I couldn't quite place him.

It wasn't until Emmett blew his whistle, signalling everyone to get up and spread out to the different stations, that I realized whom the withdrawn kid was. It was Jake's cousin – the guy we saw in the parking lot that day we stopped by the school when Quil got in all that trouble. Seth.

I watched Seth as he staggered over to the throwing station. He picked up the ball and tossed it back and forth in his hands.

"Hey," Emmett said quietly, sneaking up on me. "That's perfect – I want you with him, ok?" He pointed at Seth. I gave Emmett a 'thumbs up' and made my way over to Seth.

"Hey, I'm Edward," I introduced myself, not sure how else to break the ice. Seth looked up at me and nodded, as he continued to toss the ball back and forth. The kid had big hands, but was lanky. He clearly still had a lot of filling out to do. "I'll put on the glove."

"Jake told me about you," he mumbled as he backed away from me, making space between us for a decent throw. Awesome, I thought. Just awesome.

"Did he tell you I was an asshole?" I smirked at him, hoping to lighten things up a bit.

"Shh, dude, you can't say asshole here –" he nervously replied, though he was showing signs of a grin. "And no, he didn't. Why?" he asked. "Are you one?"

"I was. I'm trying to fix that though," I answered honestly.

"Jake's the asshole," Seth muttered. He held the ball up and cocked his arm back. I held out my glove to receive his throw, and just about shit when the ball blazed into my fist.

"Holy crap, kid!" I yelled. "Where the hell did you learn to throw like that?"

Seth shrugged at me, unimpressed by his power and strength.

"Do that again," I directed, tossing the ball back to him. Just like the first time, the ball landed tightly in my glove with a firm, and slightly painful, "thwap."

"Wow, man. That's something," I chuckled, dramatically shaking my fist out. Seth rolled his eyes at me. He looked embarrassed, but he was still smiling.

"So, you know about Jake then?" I asked. I figured he must, if he was referring to him as an asshole.

"Yeah, Sam called this morning. Woke up my foster mom. That's never good," Seth replied, winding up for another pass.

"I don't know if I'd call Jake an ass – I mean, a jerk – though," I said, carefully choosing my words. "He did some stupid things, but he's getting help, right?"

"Yeah, I guess . But if he did to my face what he did to yours, I'd still call him an asshole," he said firmly, looking around for Emmett. "This just sucks. I'm moving out there next month, after my birthday. I thought he'd be there."

After a few more minutes of tossing the ball around, Emmett gathered everyone for a basketball scrimmage. As I picked up equipment and sorted the balls on the sidelines, I took a moment to watch Emmett. He was laughing and hustling the guys, but setting them up for plays and opportunities. Hell, just by being here, he was giving them opportunities.

I thought about how Emmett had said that at one point in his life, he was a lot like me. Watching Emmett interact with the boys as a role model – a mentor – was giving me ideas. Big ones. I thought that maybe I'd be capable of similar things.

The idea got me excited – I'd look in to being a mentor, following Emmett's path. It felt good being there, knowing that we were making a difference for these kids, giving them a chance. I couldn't wait to get back to the Ranch to share my revelation with Bella – I'd phone Esme and Carlisle, too. I still needed details and stuff – to work out connections back home – but it was a start, and it felt incredible.

The rest of our time in the gym passed quickly. Seth and I stuck together, partnering up for the different stations after the scrimmage was done. We cracked jokes here and there, talked about music and sports. The kid was a natural athlete – strong, coordinated, quick. It was reassuring to know that he was moving to the Ranch soon. Although he showed a lot of athletic ability, I could tell that he was tired, stressed.

The drive back was filled with Emmett's typical blaring country tunes. Once we reached the edge of town, Emmett turned the volume way down.

"So – whatcha think?" he asked.

"I liked it – a lot," I replied sincerely.

"Oh yeah?" Emmett asked, looking surprised. "That's good."

"Umhm," I murmured. "This might be what I want to do."

"For the rest of your time here?" he asked, surprised.

"No, man. I mean with my life," I said, meaning every word. Emmett looked over at me and chuckled to himself.

"Wow, Eddy. That's huge. I guess my work here today is done."

xoxoxoxoxo

The next few days went by in a blur – at the halfway point of my stay harvesting was an around-the-clock business, made even busier by the loss of Jake. Repairs and maintenance of machinery now fell on Sam and Quil, so Charlie stepped in and helped with the other farming duties.

My time with Bella had been seriously limited yet again and it sucked. I'd pass her in the kitchen, and we made small talk, but it wasn't the contact time I was looking for. Now that I'd had a taste of her, I needed more. While I drove the combine, I thought of Bella. While I scooped out the chicken coop, I thought of Bella. Every night before bed, I thought of Bella – hell, especially then. Did I ever.

The harvest was drawing to an end, which was good as the weather was noticeably getting colder by the day. I had yet to see any snow, but the ever-present breeze was getting cooler – a t-shirt and jeans were no longer enough clothing if I was going to be outside for any length of time.

It was to my surprise, and relief, that when I woke late in the week and glanced at my schedule, a big chunk of time marked "Oil Changes" was crossed off, and "Riding w/ Bella" had replaced it.

After lunch I quickly washed and freshened up before I went out to meet Bella. I also put on a pair of boxer briefs, taking Bella's advice from last time. The last thing I needed was damaged balls.

She was waiting outside the main house for me with Eclipse and another black horse that I had never seen up close before. I was still a little unsure about the whole horseback riding thing, but if it meant time alone with Bella, I'd take it, complaint free.

"You ready?" Bella asked. She had a smile on her face, but it seemed forced. Her arms were crossed across her chest, and she made no effort to get closer to me. Something was definitely off.

"Yeah – thanks for arranging this. I've been wanting to see you," I said, hoping to crack through the wall she was putting up.

"Don't worry about it. These girls haven't been out enough lately. We should go," she replied abruptly, as she thrust Eclipse's reins in my direction. "I'm taking Luna – she's a little wild."

We saddled up mostly in silence. Bella said very little to me – the only words spoken were brief instructions. Bella's cold shoulder was making me nervous, and as Eclipse fidgeted beneath me, I couldn't help but wonder if she really could feel the tension, too.

I was confused – the last I had checked, things were going so well with Bella. She'd shared with me the best kiss of my life, and though things had been crazy and busy around the Ranch, we'd still kept our exchanges light. I thought she'd been on the same page as me, but now I wasn't so sure. I told myself that as soon as the opportunity presented itself, I'd ask her what the hell was going on.

Bella skilfully worked with Luna as we rode down the treeline on the property. The magnificent horse would struggle at the reins, attempting to take Bella in the opposite direction, but Bella handled her smoothly, keeping calm and collected. If it had been me, I would've bailed right the hell off her back.

After riding for a while, still in silence, my thighs were starting to ache, but it wasn't nearly as uncomfortable as the growing tension between Bella and me. Bella and Luna stopped short on the edge of a hill, looking out over the valley. Mustering up all the courage I had in me, I rode Eclipse right up next to her.

"Bella, what the hell?" I asked softly. "Did I do something wrong?"

"No," she chuckled to herself. I clearly missed the joke. "You've done everything right."

"Then why are you being like this? You have to know how much I like you –" I was baring it all, and I couldn't stop myself. My nerves were shot and I couldn't hold back.

"Look – we've gotta talk about things. I don't know –"

"What if I told you I liked you more than, like, a friend?" I said hesitantly, pulling gently on my reins, moving closer still and effectively cutting her off. Bella's eyes widened as she looked at me thoughtfully.

"How do I know you're not just thinking that this is convenient, Edward? You've only got a few weeks left. Let's be serious. I –"

"I've never been more serious about anything in my life. I'm not just screwing around!" I yelled. I knew I sounded wounded – I couldn't hide it. Bella was different – my feelings were completely sincere, and I desperately needed her to know that.

"I just can't get hurt," Bella sighed, her voice small. "After everything – I just can't."

"I don't want to hurt you."

"I know – but what happens next, Edward? I've been thinking about this all week! What do we do now? When you leave?"

"Well –" I sighed. "I've thought about it, too." I had, countless times. I'd run every possible option I could think of through my head while in my room at night. "Just because I'm leaving doesn't mean we can't keep in touch, visit and stuff."

"I know that. I just don't want to get any further into this if –"

"Look, Bella –" I stopped her. "If you can honestly tell me that at the end of my time here – if we just stopped this now – that you wouldn't regret it, I'll leave you alone," I said sharply, running my hands through my hair in frustration. Bella hopped off her horse, refusing to acknowledge me or meet my eyes. I followed right behind her, swinging my leg over and off of Eclipse. I didn't know what I'd do if this was it.

Bella made her way to the opposite edge of the hill and I followed right behind her. I watched as she gathered her long hair over one shoulder and wiped quickly at her eyes. She turned around to me slowly.

"I'd regret it," she almost whispered. Her eyes were watery and her chin was quivering slightly. Seeing her that way hurt me – I needed to fix it.

"Hey –" I soothed, opening my arms up to her. "We'll be fine, k?" Bella folded into me, nodding her head against my chest. It felt so good to just hold her. I pressed one hand tightly against the small of her back, holding her firmly against me, and kissed the top of her head. A few moments passed before Bella gently pulled away.

"There is a bit of a problem, though," Bella began nervously. I gave her a curious look, and she giggled.

"It's nothing really big, just, um – maybe we shouldn't tell Charlie. Let's just keep things between us for now, ok?"

I was more than happy to agree with that. I could only imagine feeling the wrath of Charlie if he knew that I was necking with his daughter in the woods. Well, at least that I planned to be necking with his daughter in the woods.

"Ok, that's cool – for now, we'll keep it quiet," I replied.

"Thanks, Edward. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get all upset," she said.

"No – don't you apologize for anything. I'm glad we got all this out."

The rest of our ride was much more pleasant. I shared with Bella my experience at the school, and she was both shocked that I'd enjoyed it and proud that I'd thought of some ideas for my future. Bella filled me in on the upcoming winter – as hard as I tried, I couldn't even imagine the cold she was describing. The light conversation was easy, never forced. Being around Bella felt so normal and natural – it was hard to believe that we'd almost let it all go.

I helped Bella give the horses a good, thorough brushing and lead them back to their stalls in the barn. Just as we were about to head in to prepare for dinner, Bella stopped me.

"Hey – I got some good news! I can't believe I forgot to tell you!" she said, excitement all over her face.

"What's that?" I asked, taking her hands in mine and lacing our fingers together. I pulled her closer to me, our faces mere inches apart.

"Remember that camping trip I'd talked about?"

"Yeah?" I nodded. I had kind of thought that with the recent drama around the Ranch that it would get pushed aside.

"Well, Charlie agreed that we could go if all the crops got up in time. It has to be on the property, and we're only able to do it if Emmett agreed to supervise..."

"Did he?" I asked, hopeful.

"Yeah," she chuckled. "I had to bribe him with three of our Gran's sugar pies, but yes. He's gonna come along."

Rather than convey my excitement with words, I slid my hands up Bella's back and around her ribs, then cupped her jaw in my hands. Our lips met moments later, a hint of strawberry lip gloss or some other fruit just barely noticeable on hers.

Bella leaned firmly up against my chest, her legs mixed amongst mine, as her hand snaked up my neck into my hair. Her tongue sought out my mouth first, lightly tracing my bottom lip. I was sure she could feel how into it – into her – I was, but I didn't care. I wanted her to know what she did to me.

I deepened our kiss as her soft mouth melted with mine. My fingers trailed up her sides, stopping at the edge of the wire and fabric I could feel beneath her thin shirt. Bella's lips broke from mine first with a sigh, and I gently ran my mouth along her jaw line.

When I reached the tender spot just behind her ear, Bella let out a soft and lusty "Mmm," and much to my body's dismay, I pulled back.

"Bella, God, um –" I swallowed hard, trying to get a hold of myself. "We should go in."

"Yeah," she answered with a grin, as she reached up on her tiptoes and kissed me chastely once more. "I'll meet you there."

xoxoxoxo

After I'd cooled down for a few minutes, I headed in to help Bella with dinner. Bella had placed a ham in the giant slow cooker earlier in the day, so we didn't have much to prepare. The conversation at the supper table was light and easy – rather than sitting in silence and stuffing ourselves, we caught up on the highlights of each other's days.

Charlie and Embry reported that the harvesting was very near completion, and Sam and Quil had gotten the old pickup running again. Bella did most of the talking for us – she excitedly explained to the group how I'd gotten over my horse fear, as the guys – even Charlie – laughed their asses off to her animated tale of me jumping out of the way like a coward when Eclipse sneezed.

After dinner I retired to my room to get caught up on my journaling. I was due to meet with Rosalie the next morning, and I had plenty written that I was looking forward to sharing, but I wanted to be sure everything was up to date.

Once I wrapped up my journal, I hit the bathroom and washed up. On my way back to bed, I noticed Jasper's door propped open slightly, his reading lamp still on. He'd been the only one missing from dinner, and it wasn't really discussed. Rosalie had only briefly mentioned that he wasn't feeling well.

"Jasper?" I called out, wondering if he'd just passed out with the light on.

"Yeah –" he coughed out. He sounded rough. "I can't really talk right now," he replied, his voice sounding far away.

"Do you need anything, man?" I asked.

"No, I'm good," he said hurriedly, "Just want to be alone."

"Ok, do you want me to –"

"No!" he yelled. "Just–- no, Edward. Please. I'll talk to you tomorrow," he choked out. I could have sworn he was holding back a sob.

"Alright, man," I said gently. "If you need me, I'm just across the hall."

As I stripped off my sweats and climbed into bed, I couldn't help but wonder what the hell was up with Jasper. Something was seriously off, but I'd have to wait to find out. I decided that I'd bring up my concerns to Rosalie in the morning.

I closed my eyes, and tried to focus on the sound of the wind howling to ease me to sleep. Just as I started drifting off, a staggered "Tap-Tap" sound on my window startled me awake.

I foggily climbed back out of bed, turned my lamp on and made my way to the window to check it out.

Sure enough, there on the lawn, illuminated by the bright yard light, was a rubber boot and sweater-clad Bella fisting a handful of pebbles.

She waved frantically up at me, her whole face lighting up. She looked adorable. Silly, but adorable. I waved back at her and held my arms out, palms up at my side, as if to ask her, "What the hell are you doing here?"

She motioned back at me, pointing with both index fingers to her chest and mouthing "My." She then steepled her hands above her head, and mouthed out "House." I resisted the impulse to screw with her and act confused – in my groggy state it took a minute to digest just what Bella was asking of me.

The thought of Charlie catching me sneaking out to Bella's crossed my mind for a split second – but was quickly replaced by the idea that it would definitely be worth it. Before I could think it through any harder, I held up both my palms to Bella to indicate "10 minutes," threw on my pants and a hoodie, and was slipping down the staircase in no time flat.

Thanks so much for reading and for your reviews – I always love to hear your thoughts, and do my best to respond to everyone! Thanks to singlegrlmusing for suggesting sugar pie as the dessert Bella has to make for Emmett. Next chapter will be up in a week or two! xoxo