interlude:
Sometimes he wishes he met her first.
She came out of nowhere like a catastrophe - there was no wail of an alarm to warn him of her coming. Just her invasion of his pores, filling his lungs with the scent of something unnamable but could only be described as her. She was an unavoidable accident that he couldn't tear his gaze away from.
She was terrifying.
Rize had approached with the soft sound of a page being turned, a careless smile. There was no need for concern when she was nothing but familiar and familiar was safe.
She was the tragedy, the cataclysmic event that turned everything wrong.
The two were so similar yet so different and he wonders if they are the same person. He forgets sometimes that they aren't.
She was born from the carnage, the terrible remains of his humanity that Rize didn't have the chance to consume and he whispers apologies when she can't hear, mourning her birth but unable to return her to the earth. He doesn't think he can. He doesn't know how. She won't leave and he doesn't know if he wants her to.
He is but a shell of who he used to be and he can't give her whatever it is she wants.
But she has never wanted.
And he is terrified of the day she will.
Sometimes, in the early morning hours after the nightmares are through, he wishes she were there.
Sometimes he wishes they had never met.
Her hands are soft when she draws on his skin. Her eyes are kind when she stares, thinking he doesn't notice. Her breath is quiet but loud enough to remind him that he isn't alone. He is always alone though and she is a comfort that he uses and abuses, it is better to hurt than to hurt others, but he can't let her go.
He is innocent in his wants.
She lets him take everything.
He is terrified of the day when she will tell him 'no'.
i'm alive. this story isn't abandoned. times are just tough, and I promise the next chapter will be out before the new year.
i'll try and explain things a bit more then, but for now, here is a drabble from the short series I mentioned possibly posting. it's very vague and choppy and not entirely honest (because who in this series is) and completely unedited (sorry moka) but hopefully it'll tide you guys over for a bit until I can get the next chapter finished.
lotsa love,
calloniel
