Well I won't be the one to disappoint you, anymore
And I know I said all this so that you heard it all before
The trick is getting you to think that all this is your idea
And that it is everything you've ever wanted out of here
Love's not a competition, but I'm winning
I'm not sure what's truly altruistic anymore
'cause every good thing that I do is listed, and you're keeping score.

"Love's Not A Competition (But I'm Winning)"
~Paramore version~


It was Wednesday already. We were moving along faster than expected with the few scenes they wanted to shoot here in PA, making me realize that we would be headed back to LA a lot sooner than planned.

I walked into the small, dimly lit diner and immediately spotted Jasper.

"Hey, mate." I leaned in and patted his shoulder before grinning at the tiny lady across from him.

"Alice." She smiled warmly at me. Not the giggling mess she'd been when we first met, but as a friend. It was nice to have someone else in my corner.

"Edward." She shifted in the booth and tapped her fingers over a spot for me to sit. I slid in comfortably beside her, kissing her cheek once.

The waitress came running to the table before I even had a moment to decide on a drink.

"Just water for me, please."

She stood staring at me, as if waiting for me to perform some sort of magic trick.

"You sure, Sugar? Just a water?" Her pink bubblegum snapped at my ears.

"Yes. I am quite certain that a water will do. Thank you."

The girl wandered off, attempting to shake her hips seductively only to end up looking as if she had broken something instead.

I shook my head and turned back to Jasper.

"How's it going?"

He smirked and slouched back in his seat.

"How about you tell us, man? Seems that Alice here has seen Bella texting you quite often the last two days."

"Right. Yes, well, she doesn't tell me much." I slipped my fingers through my hair; a nasty worrying habit.

I felt Alice's little finger poke my arm.

"Well, of course she's not going to tell you much. You really are a Dur, aren't you?" She studied my face.

"She's not the kind of person to just give out information about herself. She's actually sort of a private person. Even if she has no filter and speaks her mind. She doesn't much care to be in the spotlight. Bella is one of kind. She's loyal; almost to a fault at times. She expects that everyone is either A, out to fuck her over or B, going to be as loyal to her as she is to them. She's very weird. I've known her almost my whole life and I still can't get it right at times."

Alice adjusted her glass of soda, twirling the straw this way and that before looking at me again.

"What I'm saying is, if you really want her to notice you, to take you seriously, you can't push. You can't make it seem obvious. You will scare her off if you come on too strong." She sighed out a soft breath before continuing. "After this shit with Jake, lord knows. She's hurting, but will she ever admit it? Probably not. Not to the extent that you'd expect someone to admit their hurt. She'll let it eat at her for a while and one day she'll just lose her shit and then we'll all know. We will all know exactly how hurt she is."

Why was it that at the mention of his name, I felt a sort of murderous rage bubble in my gut? I hardly knew Bird, but the feelings I had were as if I'd known her my entire life. As if I knew her like the back of my hand. I needed her. I fucking wanted her. And the killer part was, I couldn't have her. My celebrity wasn't working for me in this instance. It was working rather well against me, I would say. This was completely new territory for me. I wasn't really full of myself, and Bird was a good person to go to if you needed to be knocked down a rung or two or perhaps even six, on the ladder of life, but I'd never had to worry about getting the girl. Never obsessed over how to gain attention from a woman. Now here I sit in a run-down diner in Washington hanging onto every word that the dark haired sprite next to me uttered.

Fuck! Get a bloody grip, Cullen.

"So what do you suggest I do from here, Alice? I do not like to feel out of control and I feel very out of control in this situation. I want to pound that bastard's face into a ditch."

Alice's eyes widened and a slow smile spread across her face.

"You really like her." She sat back and eyed me again. "Wow. That's fucking crazy. For real, Edward?"

I nodded once and glanced at Jasper across the table. His solemn face gave nothing away.

"Look. Just, be chill with her. She's thinks you're a total dork and doesn't think you're worth all the attention you garner. You're definitely not close to what she would pick as a suitable mate, she has a thing for those damn rez boys. Gag me." Alice made a barfing noise and stuck her finger down her throat in mocking. I couldn't help but snicker.

"And you," she turned to face Jasper, one small finger pointed in his direction, "be careful with your peeping tom crap. I don't like it. But at the same time, I know Jacob Black, better than Bella thinks I do, and I wouldn't put it past him to try to show up at her house pleading and barking." She frowned into her drink. "He's so weird. Like, he wants nothing to do with her until he needs a quick booty call, and then if someone shows interest in her, he's all over her like he owns her. And she lets him do it! That's what kills me. I know they grew up together, but shit. She's so damn tough about every other thing in her life.. why can't she just tell him to fuck off too?"

My thoughts exactly.

The waitress sat our food down in front of us and my phone proceeded to buzz a text alert.

Saved by the buzz.

I nodded my thanks to the woman and grabbed for my phone.

Bird: Bored. This place is dead today. What are you up to? Alice ran off again with Jasper for lunch.

I laughed and at the same time, felt a tiny squeeze of guilt in my gut.

Good afternoon, Bird. I am taking a lunch break and then I will be back to work for a while this evening. I guess we've been doing fairly well, we're ahead of schedule and should be done here soon. Are you going to work tonight with Alice at the bar?

I hated to lie. I hated it and I knew that Bird was the last person I would want to get caught lying to, but I had no other choice at this point. And the fact that Alice thought Jacob the mongrel would show up at Bella's house again, made me want to go ballistic. At least I could gain some sort of information by asking her work schedule. It would do me some good to remind myself that Bird wasn't attracted to me and that I had no claim to her. At all. Fuck, but I wanted it. And I would give her all the time in the world to figure it out.

xOx

I made the executive decision to close up early. The shop was dead and I was bored out of my ever loving mind. I could only restock and clean and count out the register so many times. Forks had gone back to quiet old boring Forks since the crew had moved on. Well, not quite. There were still camera toting nutjobs waiting for me at the shop, or at home. I don't know how many times I had told them that Dur wasn't coming back; that there was nothing going on between us, for some reason, they didn't believe me and continued to prowl around town. Dumbasses. What a waste of life.

It sort of skeeved me out when I would arrive home to find some dude squatting outside my driveway. Or when I would show up at work and find one or two guys on the sidewalk out front of the shop.

When I pulled up to my house this evening, I noticed that my lilac bushes had been trampled in front of my window at the dining room. Fucking hell! That's just not fucking cool.

I turned around and yelled at the guy at the top of my driveway.

"Hey fucktard! Stay the fuck out of my bushes and away from my damn windows, you sick fuck!"

I entered my house, locking the door behind me.

"Uhg! What in the fuck is wrong with these people?! Dur needs to fix this shit."

I grabbed my phone from my purse and, because he said he was ahead of schedule, figured he could find the time to schedule in a little meeting with the jackasses on my driveway.

Hey, Dur. I've got your best cameramen destroying my lilac bushes and peering into my windows when I'm not home. You owe me a new bush. And a window cleaning.

I hit send and moved to close all the curtains downstairs. This shit just sucked.

I made myself a hot mug of green tea with some honey and relaxed for a half hour. I figured I'd go to the bar and chill with Alice for a while. It had to be more entertaining than this quiet house. I hadn't seen much of her over the last few weeks and was beginning to wonder if Jasper was ever going to leave.

Dur: Sorry to hear about your bush, Bird. ;} I'd be more than happy to help you remedy that situation. On a serious note, are you certain it was a paparazzi? They don't normally bother my friends in such a way. Not that I am making any excuses for the poor behaviour, Bird, I promise you that. It is appalling behaviour. Perhaps when I leave on Monday they will leave as well. Please keep me posted and remember to talk with your father if they continue to cross the line.

Fucking talk to my father? I groaned. And what the hell did he mean, leaving on Monday? I thought he was going to be here for at least another week or more. He did say they were moving faster than planned, I didn't realize that meant almost a week. What the hell do I care if he goes? Good riddance; to Dur and the creepy cameraman in my bushes.

xOx

"So, Bella, Alice says you're having Edward Cullen to the house tomorrow night for dinner?"

I flashed Alice the 'Die Now' eye and watched her shrink back in her chair at my parents' dining room table. She'd been mooning at me since Wednesday evening about how much she was going to miss Dur and that we should have a dinner and we should do it at my place because I have a bigger dining room than she did; and oh, she would invite Jasper and it would be so much fun, blah blah blah.

Through gritted teeth I answered.

"I suppose we are." I twirled my spaghetti onto the fork I was currently debating over whether or not I was going to stab my best friend with.

"Well, that's just lovely, girls." My mother smiled broadly at us both.

"Do you really think it's such a hot idea to invite that sort of trouble into your house, Bella?" My father leaned into the table, his elbows resting on sharp points while he read my face.

"That boy has a lot paparazzi that follow him around. Wouldn't want them getting the wrong idea about you."

I sighed and dropped my fork.

"It's fine. Dur.. I mean, Edward, is actually a pretty decent guy. And it doesn't matter what the fuckwits print, there is nothing going on between us. So I'm not too worried about it."

I felt Alice's body vibrating next to mine and had to control the laugh that was bubbling up in my chest.

….

Alice declared it was sleepover night and that she was coming to my place after dinner with my parents. She was going to paint my nails, gossip and we were going to watch a plethora of chick flicks.

As she dropped her bag on the couch I laid into her.

"For fucks sake, Alice! I never agreed to the dinner. Why in the fuck would you go and throw me under the bus like that with my parents? Charlie has got to be going out of his mind worrying about some creepazoid trying to get into my house now to sneak a shot of Dur eating a hamburger at my crappy old dining room table."

I tossed my purse next to her bag on the couch and took off to my bedroom, Alice hot on my heels.

"Look, Bella, I really like Edward. He's such a nice guy and I'm going to miss him. I'd like to see him and hang out again before he leaves. And I know you two have been chatting via text for the last few days, I didn't think it would be a huge deal. I thought you guys were like, friends."

I flung open a drawer on my dresser and grabbed my pajama pants before spinning back to stare at her. She looked so sweet. So innocent. There is no fucking chance in hell this is as innocent as she's saying.

"You're trying to set me up, aren't you?" I pulled my jeans off one leg at time, hopping when my left foot got stuck. I grunted as I leaned against my bed for leverage. Alice giggling.

"Alice. Seriously. He's not my type. He's just too much. He's got too much going on and he's just, I dunno. He's got this insane lifestyle that I don't really like. And he's a dork. God. He is such a nerd."

Alice threw her tiny hands in the air.

"I'm not trying to set you up, Bella. I swear. After this crap with, well, you-know-who, I know you're not in the mood for dating. And I totally know that Edward isn't your type. You love those rez boys. Lord knows why." She winked at me and wrapped me in a huge hug.

"I'm sorry that he hurt you, Bella. I love you."

I wrapped my arms around her and sighed. I didn't have a blood sister, but Alice was better than that. We had chosen each other. That meant something.

I squeezed back with everything I had.

"Love you too, Ali."

She jumped back after a long moment and immediately switched gears.

"Okay, so you have to text Edward like, right now! Invite him to dinner and then we need to sit down and come up with a menu!" Her eyes danced with merriment. Seriously, how do you say no to Alice? You just fucking don't. Poor Jasper.

I laughed and together we ran down the hall to get my phone like a couple of ten year old kids at a slumber party.

Dinner. My place. Tomorrow night. Be here by six.

I sent the message and Alice and I got down to some serious gossip.


A/N:

So, wow! I've been nominated for an Emerging Swan award for Bird Girl in the category of Best Humor. I am so blown away and thankful. If you want to vote for Bird, and trust me, she'll love you for it, you can go to this addy: emerging swan awards . blogspot . com (slash) p (slash) voting . h t m l

Thank you to MustloveRTP for being my favorite pair of smooshy eyes and a great friend. She recently updated her WIP, Walk… and it is hot. Extremely.

My love and heart go out to Kim. 3 Love you.