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That being said, please don't hate me...


"Will you just tell me where we are going?" Elena whined from her spot in the passenger seat. Damon woke her up bright and early, claiming he had a surprise for her. She initially groaned and rolled over, but he tempted her by suggesting a morning shower. Together. She caved pretty easily after that.

"I'm still not telling you," he said with a victorious smile. They had been driving on the highway for almost twenty minutes. They didn't need to leave Mystic Falls for much. Though it was a small town, it always had everything they needed nearby. She had no idea where he could be taking her.

"Will you at least tell me how much longer?" she pouted and batted her eyelashes, pulling out all the stops to break him.

"Nope," he said with a pop at the end. She let out a frustrated huff and collapsed into her seat; her gaze fixed on the scenery flying by outside her window.

"My, my, someone is testy this morning," he teased her. "Which, I might add, she has no right to be with all that screaming in the shower."

"You are sick," she turned her head to glare at him, but her playful eyes held no real malice.

"You love me," he said with a shrug. Her hand slid across the seat and her fingers tangled in his.

"Yeah," she replied softly.

They drove the rest of the way in content silence.


"IKEA?" Elena asked skeptically while Damon tugged her toward the front doors. "Why IKEA? We don't need new furniture."

"Yes, we do," he said without turning around. "We need a new couch for the living room."

"Damon," she said, yanking on his hand to force him to face her. "We have a couch for the living room." Except for the fact that it served no purpose because she refused to sit on it, or look at it.

"We're getting rid of that couch," he said simply, turning again to drag her through the automatic doors and into the massive store.

"Why would we get rid of it?" she asked. He only regarded her with an 'are you stupid?' look from over his shoulder.

"Right," she dropped her gaze when she realized what he meant. He stopped pulling her then and turned back to face her. His fingers gripped her chin and he forced her to look at him.

"Things are good in our home and I don't want anything in it that could jeopardize that," he said sincerely. Her heart performed circus tricks when she saw the honesty and concern in his eyes. Then the crushing guilt followed. Sure, he made a mistake just like she did, but he was working so hard to fix things and what was she doing? She was doing nothing. She pushed the feeling away, because it wasn't the time nor the place to get into that.

"Ok," she broke out into a smile, "Let's get a couch."

They strolled hand in hand through the showroom, looking at couches and occasionally getting distracted by baby furniture.

Three hours, and several disagreements later, they finally settled on a gorgeous dark brown, micro suede sectional. Elena was ecstatic because it was the couch that she initially fell in love with. Damon, on the other hand, did not love it so much and it took a lot of begging and eyelash-batting to get him to cave, but he finally did, and he had to admit that it wasn't so bad. After paying and setting up the delivery for the next day, they headed home. The day had really taken a toll on Elena and she slept the entire way back. Damon was content holding her hand and stealing glances at her sleeping form as they coasted along the highway.


"So are we going to talk about what happened with your father?" Elena asked quietly as they sat down to dinner that evening.

"There isn't much to talk about," he shrugged. "I thought that maybe the risks of my job were taking a toll on you and I asked him for a job. It didn't hurt that I'd be making more money as well."

Her heart physically clenched at his words, but she ignored the feeling and pressed on. "But he said no."

"He said no," he confirmed with a nod of his head. "He told me that I needed to find someone who appreciated me and how that person wasn't you. Then I promptly told him to fuck off and I left." He took a large bite of his pasta as if he was totally unfazed by the experience.

Elena, however, felt sick and it had nothing to do with the pregnancy. Guilt overwhelmed her and threatened to burn her at the stake. She knew what she needed to do and there was no way out this time around. It had to be done.

"I love you, you know that right?" Elena said suddenly.

His answering smile did little to calm the torrent of emotions in her chest. "Of course I know that."

"I think there is something we need to talk about - about why I hurt you so long ago," she said slowly, trying to keep her voice steady. He put his silverware down and turned his full attention to her.

"We don't need to rehash that," he said as he reached across the table to take her hand in his, but frowned when she pulled away.

"But we do. I need to tell you," she said, placing her hands in her lap and wringing her fingers with anxiety.

"Now you're making me nervous, what's going on, Elena?" His face was openly concerned. She knew this was the only way they could truly fix their marriage. She steadied herself with a deep breath.

"Remember when I was so sick last year?" she asked and he responded with a tight nod. "Well, I had a hunch as to what it could've been, and I was so scared that I put off finding out for weeks, almost two months to be exact, until I caved and visited the doctor and he confirmed that I was pregnant."

"What?" he asked in disbelief.

"I was so scared. You hadn't expressed any desire to have children any time soon and I sure wasn't ready to be a mother. But when it was confirmed the excitement almost burst out of me. So I planned that nice dinner for us so I could tell you the news, but the day before, I lost it. I had a miscarriage. I lost our baby." Tears started to sting the backs of her eyes, and she blinked furiously to keep them at bay. "And I thought that I was being punished for not being excited enough or not being happy enough. I couldn't imagine facing you knowing that I planned on telling you such wonderful news and then having to tell you that it was ripped from us. I didn't want you to blame me, because I already blamed myself."

He stared at her in pure shock. All thoughts of eating were completely vanished.

After several tense minutes, he finally blinked and spoke in a harsh whisper, "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want to burden you with my pain," she said brokenly.

"So instead you shut me out, shut your family out, and shut the world out?" his voice was getting stronger the more he spoke. "Elena we are supposed to be a team, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health. How could you not tell me!" His fists were clenched in tight fists on either side of his plate and she could feel the anger rolling off him.

"I was too upset to relive it, and then I had already pushed you away so much, I didn't want to give you reason to hate me more," she cried. She felt like her world was slowly closing in on her.

"How could you lie to me? All those months I questioned myself thinking I did something to hurt you," the hurt in his voice was unbearable, and knowing she put it there was excruciating.

"I'm so sorry," was all she could think to say. He shook his head and rose from his chair. "Damon," she called as he started to exit the kitchen.

"I just need to be alone," he spat bitterly. She watched his retreating back until it disappeared and then the tears came. She dropped her head into her hands and just let them fall. She brought this all upon herself, there was no one to blame. She could only be angry with herself. Never in her life had she felt so hopeless. But she told him, that had to count for something. Things could only go up from there.

But she realized that she was sadly mistaken when he reappeared with a duffel bag in hand.

"What are you doing?" she asked quietly, despite knowing the answer.

"I can't be here right now," he said simply, yet his eyes were glistening with angry tears. "I can barely stand to look at you."

"Damon, please don't leave," she jumped from her seat to approach him, but he took a step back as she advanced on him. Her voice dropped to a whisper, "I didn't mean to lose the baby."

"It's not that you lost the baby, I would never blame you for that," his voice softened for just a moment, "But you lied to me. And that I can't stand for."

"Please just don't go," she begged, her tears running down her cheeks, leaving tracks of mascara behind.

"I need some time, probably a lot of it, to mourn the loss of my child and figure out what's going to happen from here," he said in a hard voice. She felt her heart painfully clench in her chest.

"What do you mean?" her voice broke on the last word, and she could hardly hold back her sobs.

"I promised to be there for you and this baby, and I have no intention of breaking that promise, but I can't say I know what our relationship will be after this." His eyes held nothing but contempt and anger and hurt. She wanted nothing more than to take that away.

"Don't say that, Damon," she whispered, not trusting her voice enough to speak any louder. She reached for his hand, but he ripped it away like she was a leper.

"Please, just let me go," his voice finally broke to show her just how much he was hurting. That moment alone threatened to bring her to her knees. He gave her one last long look before he took his bag and turned on his heel. She watched him leave, her heart shattering with every step he took until the door slammed, taking her to the floor. She wrapped her arms around her protruding stomach and crumpled in on herself.

The past year she was so intent on keeping Damon safe and not letting him feel her pain, and she ended up hurting him worse than she ever wanted. She hurt him so badly and maybe beyond repair. The sobs were shaking her whole body, like they were trying to hurt her as much as she hurt him. She hugged herself in a heap on the floor and cried until she ran out of tears.


He thought that his anger would subside, even slightly, once he left. But as the door slammed behind him, he felt his anger grow exponentially.

How could she do that to him?

How could she lie to him?

He threw his bag into his car and tore out of the driveway. His grip on the steering wheel nearly broke it into tiny pieces. Kind of like his heart, he thought bitterly. He could only see red as he drove through the streets of Mystic Falls. He had no idea where he was driving, but it didn't matter. He had to put as much distance between him and Elena as he could. He found himself at his favorite bar, the only bar in town, downing many tumblers of whiskey. The burn was almost numbing; almost. It wasn't enough to quelch the pain or the rage inside him. His mind relentlessly reminded him of how stupid he must have looked during those eight months. How could he not see it? How did he not figure it out? Once the alcohol-induced haze clouded his mind enough, he stumbled out of the bar and took off on foot.

He walked down the familiar streets and stopped in front of a house he hadn't visited in months. He didn't allow himself to think of what he was doing while his fist pounded on the door. Anger and alcohol still tainted his thoughts as he stood impatiently on the door step. He paced frantically across the small porch.

He turned abruptly when he heard the door open.

"Damon?" Andie asked from the doorway. "What are you doing here?"

Instead of answering her verbally, he closed the distance with two large steps and his lips collided with hers in a bruising kiss. He pushed her into the house, and kicked the door closed with his boot. He walked her backwards as he tore her shirt over her head. When he had her trapped against the wall, he pulled away to take off his own shirt, then his mouth latched onto hers once more. He pressed all his weight into her, taking out all his anger on her small body. His hands wasted no time in ridding her of her bra and traveling lower to push her skirt up her legs.

His lips followed his hands and he took one peak into his mouth. Her cries only urging him on.

He pushed every thought from the day out of his mind and all he felt was white-hot anger that only grew because of his hurt. With a feral growl, he slammed his body back into hers, enjoying the way that he didn't need to be careful. That he could punish her the way he wanted to punish Elena.

Andie didn't seem to mind his aggressiveness one bit, because her hands were working hard to rid him of his pants. As she was just pushing the denim down his thighs, he lifted her against the wall and her legs wrapped instinctively around his waist. Her hand was still between them, stroking him into a fever pitch, teasing him relentlessly with the warmth of her hand and the wet warmth of her core.

"God, I need to be inside you, Elena," he rasped into her neck and her hand stilled on him the instant his words hit her. He pulled back to look at her and his confusion only deepened when he saw the anger and hurt on her face.

"I can't do this. I think you need to leave," she hissed as she pushed him away from her and furiously tugged her skirt into place.

Suddenly he fully took in the reality of the situation. He was going to sleep with Andie to punish Elena. He was really going to do it, and he only didn't because Andie stopped him. What kind of person was he? The weight of his actions hit him like a freight train.

He nodded solemnly, and tugged his pants back into place. Both of them avoiding eye contact, he bent down to retrieve their discarded shirts and handed Andie's back to her. No more words were exchanged as he slipped his shirt over his head and promptly left.

All traces of alcohol were seemingly gone when he finally made it back to his car. He started the engine and drove to the only person in the world he could depend on. He pulled into the driveway as the sun was finally setting on the longest day of his life.

He knocked softly and listened to the movements he heard on the other side of the door. The face of his brother appeared as the door was pulled open.

"Damon?" Stefan asked as he took in his brother's disheveled appearance. "What are you doing here?"

With a strangled sob, he collapsed into his brothers arms and finally mourned the loss of his unborn child.


*ducks* Please don't pitchfork me. Just remember HEA's are my thing.

Thanks to Sandra for Beta'ing this for me. You are amazing. And thank you to every person who has given me support with this story and my other story. You guys have no idea how much you help me write.

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