A/N: Wow. Everybody's saying that I'm funny. I guess you're supposed to be your own worst critic, right? Well, as promised, I've finished this one in time for the weekends! And it's a pretty good length, too. Oh, and of course...
100 Reviews! *streamers and balloons appear out of nowhere* Yay! Thank you everybody for reviewing! I appreciate all of them so much. XD Okay, now for the story.
~*~
The Aftermath
"Yuiki-san, why do you cheer lead?" the graying man asked, eyes actually brimming with interest.
"For the lulz," she replied lazily. Her plan was simple: lie until it was over.
The faintest of frowns appeared on his face. "Apparently you've taken the cheer leading team and improved it. It doesn't quite state how, though. Can you explain?"
"Yeah; I made the skirts shorter." There was a hint of irony in her voice as she said that. Her therapist didn't pick up on that.
"How did you become a Power even though you're a Freshman?" he questioned her again.
"I dunno. I'm likeable?"
"Yuiki-san, please answer the questions truthfully," he sighed.
"Fine." That was a lie.
He looked back down at the information sheet. "Tell me about your parents, Yuiki-san."
"They're, like, rock stars," she answered.
The therapist rubbed a palm over his face. "Why do you lie?" he asked without much hope.
"Because I'm addicted to it?" she proposed, smiling innocently.
"Lovely."
-------
The kindly old man lowered his glasses to regard Amu. "I can understand that you would feel a little uncomfortable to be forcibly put through therapy, Hinamori-san, but it would be easier for everybody if you just cooperated," he said softly.
She shrugged. "Whatever."
He decided to take that as an agreement to his suggestion. "Wonderful," he exclaimed, shuffling the pieces of paper on the library desk. "Now tell me; why do you think that Sanjou-sensei and Nikaido-sensei were so willing to pay outrageous prices for these sessions?"
"I don't know," she responded, shrugging again. "And I don't care," she said, interrupting the therapist as he was about to speak.
He put down his files and leaned back, watching her expectantly. "You don't mean that," he said confidently.
"Actually... yeah, I do," she contradicted him.
He let out a small chuckle. "Come now, Hinamori-san; you don't have to put on that kind of act with me," he said slightly patronizingly. He hadn't meant to be, but that was the way it turned out.
"This isn't an act... sir," she grunted. It wasn't an act anymore: it was her life.
"Why do you do it?" he asked, oblivious, as all educated men who thought they were on to something would be. "Were the other girls mean to you when you were younger?"
"No," she said flatly. "Buzz off."
He looked at her in concern. "Why are you so hostile to the people who just want to help?"
Amu crossed her arms over her chest. "Because," she answered. Therapists... they were all the same.
"I thought you said you would cooperate with me to the benefit of everybody involved?"
She snorted. "No, I said 'whatever'."
"Oh," he sighed. "Was I presumptuous to think you were -"
"Yeah."
He looked rather crestfallen. "I didn't even finish my -"
"You didn't need to," she cut him short.
"Hinamori-san..."
"Whatever."
-------
Nagihiko smiled widely at the rather nervous-looking man across the table from him. He was much skinnier than the other male professors and seemed to be desperately searching for an escape. Nagihiko spun his basketball on a finger.
"F-Fujisaki-san," he started nervously, "would you mind not spinning that ball?"
"Yes," he replied immediately. The therapist waited in vain for him to stop.
"Um..." he began again.
Nagihiko gave him a pointed stare. "Yes, I would mind," he expanded.
"Oh." The therapist faltered. "Well then, would you... would you mind putting your feet down?"
Nagihiko ignored him, busy noticing that the therapist was sitting against the side of the library. There was an inviting stretch of unfurnished wall right next to his head.
"Fujisaki-san -" The therapist couldn't get a word out, flinching as the basketball bounced noisily inches away from his left ear. Nagihiko caught it again smiled even wider, if that was possible.
"Yes sir?" he asked irreproachably.
"Could you -?" It bounced against the wall again, closer than before. He cringed, chewing his bottom lip.
"Nope," Nagihiko said blithely.
His mouth opened and the basketball bounced on the wall again, causing him to whimper rather pathetically. The therapist watched the ball with trepidation as Nagihiko spun it again. When the boy made a jerky movement as if he were about to throw it again, the man ducked.
Nagihiko laughed viciously. "Say, Doormat-san, you wouldn't mind if I just stayed here and didn't answer any of your stupid and pointless questions, would you?"
The therapist eyed the basketball warily.
"You can speak." Nagihiko snickered as he saw the therapist's reaction.
"Of-of course not, Fujisaki-san," he muttered, ashamed of how easily the teenager was pushing him around.
The basketball player leaned back and closed his eyes. "Brilliant. I can't believe how much of a wimp you are," he said delightedly. The therapist was almost in tears. Nobody had told him that the job would involve such an aggressive patient. But... he couldn't back out of it now. None of them could.
There had been a contract. Now he knew why.
-------
Sanjou and Nikaido were looking through the answers to the questions that the Powers had been set the day before. They were quite certain that many of them were untrue and were passing the time by guessing which ones they were.
"The Phoenix does not want to be a penguin!" Sanjou snapped.
Nikaido, apparently, thought differently. "It's a distinct possibility, you must agree."
"If you seriously keep on saying that, I might have to inform the police that I think you're doing drugs or something," she said crossly.
"I'm just saying that it might be a..."
"Captain!" the woman exclaimed.
He stared at her. "Um... I'm a teacher, remember?" he said worriedly.
Somebody coughed from behind him. "I think she was talking about me, Nikaido-sensei," said Kairi apologetically.
"Oh. That makes sense."
Sanjou slapped the back of Nikaido's head before turning to face her nephew. "Nikaido thinks that the Phoenix might really want to be reincarnated as a penguin. I think he's bonkers. What about you, Captain?"
"You both might have a point," he replied thoughtfully. "He might really want to be a penguin. Then again... he definitely doesn't."
"Why are we arguing about this?" asked Nikaido irately.
Sanjou's phone started going off. "Ah!" she exclaimed brightly "The Powers' time is almost up."
Nikaido rubbed a palm over his face. "I can just imagine how the sessions turned out," he grumbled.
"Remember, I bet ten dollars that the Snake's therapist is going to complain," Sanjou said, rather cheerfully. Kairi raised an eyebrow at this. It felt like the two adults had just swapped personalities. It was scary seeing his aunt so... abnormal.
"I bet twenty that the Stray's therapist is the one that'll whine first," he said tiredly.
Kairi looked at them both. "Can I put one in?" he requested.
Sanjou gave him a stern look. "You know I usually don't approve of gambling," she reminded him, "but I'll allow it just this one time."
He sighed. "I bet fifty dollars that they're all going to come out here asking for a Power swap."
"Even the Prince's?" asked Nikaido curiously.
"Even the Prince's," Kairi confirmed, "because he is a Power, after all."
Both teachers grunted doubtfully. In their experience, Tadase was the one who mainly listened to his orders. True, his presence in a classroom caused disruption but it was unintentional... for the most part, at any rate. It was more than she could say for the other Powers.
The library door opened and Nagihiko strolled out. "Yo," he said, smirking. The teachers looked at each other, taking this as a sign that the session did not go well. Sanjou held out her hand and Nikaido as well as Kairi grudgingly handed it over. Still, Ikuto's therapist could get in an objection first.
Since Nagihiko was blocking the door and Ikuto was in a bad mood, the Stray shoved his shoulder hard as he pushed past the younger boy. Nagihiko gave him a sunny smile.
"Something wrong, Tsukiyomi?" he asked.
"What do you think?" he snarled.
Nagihiko's eyes narrowed. "Are you looking for a fight?" he said dangerously.
"Your words, not mine," he replied.
"Bring it on."
"Glad -"
Nikaido coughed loudly. Sanjou really had to admire the effect that always had on the students, Power or not. It was one of the reasons she bothered to bring him along with her.
"Look; we're having a small break now. The Captain and Sanjou-sensei will take you back to base once the other Powers get here," he explained.
"Base?" inquired Nagihiko as if he weren't preparing to get into another fight just then.
"Room 9," the teacher expanded.
Rima was next to exit. "Walking is so tiring," she commented.
"Poor Princess," Nagihiko sneered.
"That was so lame," moaned Yaya, walking past the blonde.
"You actually have a point there, Witch," said Kukai, exiting as well. "Everything was 'Souma-san' this, 'Souma-san' that and 'pressure' this and 'teenage boy' that. That woman was a broken record!"
"You hit on her though, didn't you?" came Utau's voice. "It's disgusting the way you flirt with anything with breasts," she said haughtily.
"Too bad for you, I wouldn't go anywhere near you even if you were the last woman on Earth," he replied.
"Thank the lords. If I'd had something as disgusting as you chasing after me, my popularity would take a huge blow."
"You know what else is huge -"
Yaya gave a shriek. "Ugh! Don't even go there! Ew! Ew! Yuck! That is not an image I want to... yuck! Disgusting!" She kept gagging dramatically.
"Yeah, keep it in your pants, Chicken," said Nagihiko, wincing slightly.
Tadase halted in his tracks as he heard that, making a face. "I don't even want to know what that means," he said.
"Move it," Amu said from behind him, not deigning to reach out and push him.
"Why are you so aggressive?" he demanded, almost shouting. She shrugged.
"Alright!" yelled Nikaido. "Since you're all out, follow Sanjou-sensei and the Captain to Room 9 for a little break."
"Yeah, that was back-breaking work," said Nagihiko without a trace of sarcasm. All he'd done was sit there, playing with a basketball and enjoying his therapist's fear. Wow, he sounded really quite sick.
"What're you doing, Nikaido-sensei?" inquired Tadase politely.
Nikaido slouched dejectedly, his face growing gloomy. "I'm going to deal with the therapists," he answered. This job fell to him because he lost at coin-tossing while they waited for the therapy sessions to finish.
"Oh. Right. Bye!" Tadase was suddenly in a hurry to get out of there.
The therapists were starting to emerge now. The Powers practically whistled as they were led away.
"That Tsukiyomi boy is a... he's... I demand that I get somebody else! Anybody else!" The man, in his distress, started to rub his bald spot. Nikaido fought to keep his expression neutral. At least he'd managed to make thirty dollars, since both Kairi and Sanjou would have to pay and he'd lost ten on Sanjou's bet.
"I-I would like to swap, too!" cried the skinny man that had been Nagihiko's therapist. "Th-that child is a-a menace!"
"At least they didn't try to keep asking you out for dinner and using innuendo's instead of answering your questions!"
"The Phoenix," Nikaido guessed, sighing.
"They all just lie!" said Utau's therapist angrily. "I'm sorry, but I don't think I can stay with the singer."
"That blond boy just avoids everything. I couldn't get a single thing out of him," said the other woman. "Actually, he's found out quite a bit about me!"
"Mine... she just kept crying!" one of them wailed miserably.
Nikaido frowned. "Which one?" he asked. None of the female Powers ever cried that he knew of.
"Rima Mashiro!"
"Oh, you wimp," said Kukai's therapist. "You're pathetic, not being able to handle some tears."
"You take her then!"
"I will!"
"I refuse to keep Tsukiyomi," piped up the first therapist.
"What'd he do?" said Amu's therapist.
"He is..."
Nikaido stood up, giving them all an apologetic smile. "I'll leave everything up to you, shall I? Next time you come, I expect you all to be sorted out about who you want to take! And no more switching from then on, okay? Alright then, goodbye!" he said quickly, rushing off after the Powers.
They all stared after him.
"At least were not those two teachers," said Utau's therapist.
"True," all the rest agreed.
~*~
A/N: I think the title gives a completely different impression than I wanted about what happened after the therapy sessions... It sounds so... foreboding or something. Anyhow, I hope you've enjoyed the other half!
