Disclaimer: I don't own Loveless, or information from /blog/omurice-recipe/#sthash. , but I DO OWN THE POEM, and many other aspects mentioned are mine.
A/N: For this chapter I challenged myself again to write a poem in the style of my younger days that relates to my life presently, and speaks to both "Annabelle's" situation represented as well as Ritsuka's.
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Chap 11: "The way of it"
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Gordon Smith loathed saying yes to his daughter's request, articulating assumptions of whorish behavior, but finally gave in and allowed Annabelle to go to her friend's house this Sunday in May. He persistently claimed her destination was a boy's house, but she insisted study plans were with her friend Yuiko a girl.
She wasn't lying about study plans, and brought her laptop for just that reason. Of course she would never let it slip that in truth she was going to a man's house as usual and that she spent most days with three young boys, sometimes four and a girl with said man.
Sitting alone on the couch she unzipped her backpack to remove her laptop but paused hearing Youji and Natsuo's voices as they entered the living room.
Crouching on the other side of the coffee table Youji posed a question "So A we were wondering, how does it feel to be cripple?"
"Want to find out?" she growled at the rude question then less intensely riposted "Besides, Natsuo technically is also disabled because of whatever happened to his eye".
The boys looked at each other, thoughts melding as was their tendency "Never really thought of it that way" Youji said running a finger beneath his partner's eye patch "We're better than everyone anyway", "True".
"You two are helpless" she shook her head. "We don't need anyone's help" they brazenly claimed in unison. She stuck out her tongue then said "Shoo, let me study".
Ignoring her, Natsuo said "I wonder if Kio will come over today, he's always fun", Youji nodded. "Wanna cook something?" "For us, or to poison Kio?" the other boy laughed.
Joking though condescending Annabelle cautioned, "Don't play with the stove or you'll burn yourselves boys". "That's exactly what Soubi says"
"Eh I don't feel like cooking anything Natsuo", he grabbed his fighter's hand "Let's go look at those picturebooks we stole from Kio". Seeing a glint in brown eyes Natsuo nodded "Ah yup let's go".
Ritsuka came out of Soubi's bedroom a minute later and she joked "Still have your ears, that's good". His face became beet red "Come on not you too". "How could I not Ritsuka?" she smiled, and he playfully pushed her.
Soubi reentered the room "I'm going to the store to buy ingredients for that dish you mentioned you want to try Ritsuka, Omurice". Black cat ears perked up. "Is there anything else you'd like me to pick up?" "Anything is fine, what about you Annabelle?" Soubi disliked the offer, but Ritsuka's word was law.
"I don't need anything but thanks. Is it alright for me to stay past dinner?" Blue and violet eyes looked at Soubi.
Sight focused only on his sacrifice he asked "Would that be alright Ritsuka?" "Soubi it's your house" "You enjoy spending time with Annabelle-chan so I will say yes" he responded pleasantly. "Hopeless" Ritsuka muttered then plopped down on the couch with folded arms.
"I shouldn't be long. I have my key so I'm going to lock the door behind me." He wanted to kiss his sacrifice though he would become very embarrassed and angry. When he dipped his head, Annabelle turned away, and he kissed the corner of Ritsuka's lips.
Flustered Ritsuka cried "Soubi!" and looked to check if Annabelle saw. He was glad she was reading an art book, but still glared at his fighter indignantly. Soubi's response was a smile as the door closed.
Annabelle stood "I'll be right back, you can look through the music on my laptop to see if there's anything you want to listen to, there's a whole lot of variety". She went to use the bathroom.
Well practiced with English, with ease he scrolled down the menu: African, Arabian, Asian, Classical, Country, Greek, Hawaiian, Irish-Scottish, Folk, Native American… and all sorts of American artist's names some of which he'd heard of. "I'll let her choose."
Minimizing the folder, a document caught his eye "THE FIRST DAY OF MY NEW LIFE". Curiously he opened it and the date struck him- January 5th.
He could hardly believe his eyes, it was the same day he became amnesic.
Hearing steps, he looked up nervously and saw his female friend walking back into the room. To store the fact he just discovered to think about later,he asked "Annabelle didn't you mention a poem earlier?"
"Yeah I wrote a new one today, why?" Thoughtfully he asked "Can I read it?"
She bit her lip, embarrassed by her messy handwriting and her work in general. Ritsuka had read a few of her poems before so "Actually I'd like to read this one to you". She took a bright green marble notebook from her bag and flipped to the middle, vocalizing the passage.
"The title is "Personality"... Painful days/Sleepless nights/What will/It take/To win/This fight?/Shut up/The voices/Let me/Be,/Not begging/For erase/I chase/To free/Memories/Drip/Slip/Drop,/Without a/Pause eyes/Cannot see,/May views/Be truth/Let me/Be me".
While reading her facial expression changed relative to the emotions spilled upon the page.
When she finished Ritsuka shared "I can relate to so much of your poetry".
It's interesting that we have so much in common besides amnesia…
She nodded "I'm glad".
"I wish I could write like you, it would give me a way to explain what it's been like for me since I woke without memories, and since Semei died. I tell my therapist, and talk to you" he turned to her with a small smile which turned to a frown as he looked away.
Explaining to Annabelle but more like thinking aloud, he continued.
"It's been so hard, you understand better than anyone how hard it's been since losing my memories. Semei was the only one who cared about me no matter how much I changed; he didn't see me as someone who stole his brother's body. He protected me and helped me until that day… After Semei died I had no one, but then Soubi came to me. He said Semei told him to… look after me if he died. Soubi says so much that confuses me… when Soubi looks at me…"
And when he says he loves me…
"I feel like he doesn't see me, but my brother Semei. Soubi is still bound to Semei even though…" he paused.
"Where they together, like in a relationship?" Annabelle asked.
He bit his cheek then "Something like that… actually really not like that at all, it's hard to explain. I didn't know about it until after Semei… so much changed after Semei died. People have told me such horrible things about him I don't want to- I can't believe. His "relationship" with Soubi is one of the biggest bombshells." With a grimace, "My brother was very abusive toward Soubi, ever since they met when Semei was fourteen and Semei seventeen, I saw the scars once." Shaking his head roughly he continued "With me, my brother was kind and caring and so smart and he shared all that he could. It's like he was a completely different person around these other people."
Annabelle mused, "Two different personalities, two different people… It seems like we all have that though, right? We're the same person yeah, but when we're by ourselves we behave differently than we do when people are around, act different with our friends versus our parents and teachers, and people act different at work than they would at home."
Being a sacrifice, was it like a job to Semei? For Soubi being a fighter is his whole life, because he was taught since he was very young…
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End of chap 11
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Hope you liked it, please review.
A/N: I have no clue about the date Ritsuka lost his memories, so I set it as mine.
