Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans, and it is getting oddly redundant saying that.
A/N: Okay. It's about to get dark. Last chance to run. WAIT DON'T GO! I was joking! Please don't leave me! I can't be a good fan fic author without loyal readers! Sobs!
-Chapter 10-
Raven choked, holding back her scream. Her room was a mess and sweat was pouring down her face. She shivered and pulled the covers up to her chin. Something warm dripped down her forehead. She lifted a hand to touch her gem. Around the gem was something hot and wet. She touched it and looked at her fingers. It was hard to see what it was in the dark.
Raven used her powers to turn on the dim light by her bed. The hot liquid on her hand was red. Blood. Blood was dripping from her gem. She jumped from her bed.
"No… no no no no no!" She lifted her mirror, looking at her reflection. The mirror was blank. She set it down. What was going on? She needed to meditate. After that nightmare…
She shook her head. Don't think about it. Close your eyes and…
"Azarath Metrion Zinthos. Azarath Metrion Zinthos…"
COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO!
"Of all mornings for Beast Boy to play rooster." She muttered, cringing. Better get her herbal tea before the breakfast rush started. She stood and left her room, heading for the kitchen.
Raven shot up, jumping out of her bed. That nightmare again. She looked at her clock. Same time. Beast Boy would be wanting to wake her up soon. She threw her cloak over her shoulders and pace the length of her room. She felt the blood on her forehead.
"I won't let it happen. I won't." She muttered as she paced. "It was a nightmare, nothing more. It won't happen. It can't." Still the feeling loomed over her. Something was wrong and she knew it.
How many nights would this horrible vision plague her? She hugged her knees to her chest. It was different tonight. Much different. She looked at her hands, although she didn't want to. She bit her lip and jumped up from the bed. She threw her cloak over her shoulders and headed to the bathroom. She had to clean up before Beast Boy decided to wake the tower. It scared her how calm she was.
"Not again." She muttered, staring down at herself. She marched over to her mirror and gazed down into it's surface. Yellow eyes blinked back up at her.
"Quit playing your games!" Raven snapped.
"It's no game." Said a warped version of her own voice. "Even if it were, I wouldn't be the one playing it."
Raven flinched. She didn't want to know. "Whatever is happening, I want it over!" The face smiled back at her.
"Well then quit talking to me. I can't stop it. You know who can. Quit running."
Raven turned and stormed off. She needed to shower before the others woke up.
Raven felt the tears streaming down her face. She couldn't run anymore. It wasn't a nightmare. It was true. It wasn't her. It was Trigon. She looked down at herself, trying to choke back the tears.
"What have I done?"
This time she awoke before she got home. This time when she woke up, she wasn't in bed yet. She stumbled backwards, tripping over her cloak and roughly hitting the ground. Tears streaming from her eyes and the streetlights exploded. Darkness covered the horrible vision. Even so, the warmth of the blood was fresh and dripped across her skin. She couldn't run… or could she? She swallowed the taste of blood that lingered on her tongue. She had to get back to the Tower. Now.
She couldn't move. Wherever she was, it wasn't in her body. She had sunk inside herself in shock. In order to run, she had backed into her own mind. It didn't happen. It couldn't have happened. It's only a dream. Only a horrible nightmare. Raven stood, still disconnected from her own body. She needed to get back to the Tower so she could wake up. She needed to wake up.
Raven stumbled in, still hiding inside herself, hiding from the truth. She didn't want to see what she was doing. She just wanted to get to the shower before everybody started to...
"Raven"
Every bit of Raven froze. She snapped out of her trance-like state and for the first time since the act she SAW. She saw Beast Boy lean over the back of the couch, trying to see her in the dark. Then she saw him stand, walking around the couch. She backed up into the sliding elevator doors in a sudden burst of fear. He clicked on the light. Raven felt her world collapsing. It was the end. After they found out what she did... She never wanted to cry so badly. Then she heard Beast Boy gasp.
"Raven, what's wrong? Are you okay? You're covered in blood"
Raven took a deep breath to calm herself.
"I'm fine Beast Boy... I just need to go wash up, okay"
Beast Boy nodded and Raven passed him. Raven felt relief pass over her. He had thought it was HER blood. She had gotten worked up over nothing. It was simple... too simple. Why didn't he suspect her?
Did he trust her that much? What had she done to earn that trust?
She leaned over the edge of the tub and turned on the water. After letting it grow warm she turned another knob, turning on the shower. She didn't even bother to take off her clothes when she stepped into the tub and pulled the curtain. She watched the red of the blood spiral down the drain. She couldn't hide what she had done forever. She looked up into the jets, letting the warm water pour over her face. It was only a matter of time before...
The loud boom of the alarm interrupted her thoughts. The entire Tower should be awake now. She ran her fingers through her hair to brush out the last of the blood amongst the strands. The water was still pink as it
spiraled down the drain, but with any luck they wouldn't notice. Raven hopped out of the shower, toweling herself off and wringing out her drenched cape.
Beast Boy was the first to notice her as she entered the room. He had this look of sorrow on his face. Raven looked at him, stunned, then up to the screen. Raven's already pale skin paled at least ten shades more. On the screen were images of a crime scene.
A murder scene. The cops had decided to hand the case over to the Titans immediately. Obviously the murders where done by a monster and monsters were the Titan's area, not the police's. Raven bit her lip. She looked back at Beast Boy. He was still staring at her, but he was silent. He knew. She shook her head as if to say 'not me', but she knew it had been her. Beast Boy blinked and looked at the ground. Robin was barking orders, but they weren't listening.
"Titans, Go" Robin cried as he ran towards the door. Starfire flew after him. Cyborg stopped briefly to look at Raven and Beast Boy.
"Didn't you hear Robin? Come on, guys" With that Cyborg ran off, and Beast boy looked back up at Raven.
"It wasn't a coincidence, was it? You come in, covered in blood, and then the alert..."
Raven shook her head as Beast Boy's sentence trailed off.
"No." She said in an attempted protest, but it only came out as a whisper. "I didn't... I..."
Beast Boy stepped towards her and she took a step back.
"Raven..."
"I'm sorry, Beast Boy... Please don't tell the others..." She had never heard her voice like this before. She had never heard it so full of emotion. It was soft, shaking, like whimper. Everything she ever loved was dangling on this string. If what she had done got out she'd be arrested. Her friends would hate her. She would never be a Titan ever again...
"I'm not going to tell! Robin would freak" Beast Boy said, as if it where outrageous to even suggest that he would tell. "Besides, I don't think you did that."
Raven blinked, stunned. "You don't"
"No! I KNOW that you wouldn't do anything like that, Raven. Your father on the other hand..." Beast Boy let his sentence trail off before picking up again with another. "I've seen you freak before, Raven. I've seen it enough to know that that rage isn't really YOU. It's something IN you, like the Beast I have in me."
Raven nodded, thankful. She didn't have to explain for once. He understood. For once Beast Boy actually UNDERSTOOD something. No headaches, no round about explanations, he just understood.
"I don't know what happened, Beast Boy! I went to bed, I was asleep! I closed my eyes... and when I opened them again I had... I had..." Raven held back tears. She needed to meditate... She needed to meditate NOW. Beast Boy stepped forwards and this time Raven didn't back away.
"Calm down, Raven. It'll be okay. Look, I know that you'll figure it all out, okay? I won't tell, I promise."
Before Raven knew what she was doing, she wrapped her arms around the green boy's shoulders, hugging him thankfully.
"Thank you. Thank you so much." She pulled back, looking him in the eye. "It won't happen again, I promise. I'll sort this all out, okay"
Beast boy nodded. "I know you will, Raven."
Raven gave a weak fragment of a smile. Without another word, she turned and went to her room. She needed to meditate now more than ever.
"Ouch" Raven grabbed her head and felt something warm there. It never hurt to meditate, so why would it now? She pulled her fingers from her forehead and looked down at the tips in wonder. Blood rested there, smeared into the cracks of her fingerprints. She wiped at her forehead again. Her jewel was bleeding? Again?
Raven walked calmly over to her mirror, staring down at it in wonder. A drop of blood fell from her red jewel and hit the reflective surface softly. The mirror shimmered and slowly her reflection faded. Still calm, she watched the face of her nightmares appear in the cool surface. Her father glared back at her through her own mirror.
"You will free me, Raven." Trigon hissed confidently.
"I won't." Raven said, with just as much confidence.
"Vui yer la za, Raven." Trigon hissed again, reverting to his native language. This is when Raven began to grow scared. The Trigon in her mind never spoke Trigon's native language. It took effort for Raven to
speak and understand it, so she'd never think in such a language. The Trigon talking to her now... he wasn't anything that she had thought of. She backed away from the mirror, slowly.
"Leave me alone" Raven hissed, threateningly. "I'll have nothing to do with you"
He head was aching. She felt the blood drip from her jewel down her face. A drop fell into one of her eyes and she cringed. Her head and her right eye stung. She continued to back away from the mirror.
"Vui yer la za, Raven" Trigon hissed again.
"Raota za oruha" Raven cried again, in his own language. "E'r kota hucken cu mu yek vui"
This time Trigon only laughed. The burning in her head grew worse. Red filled her vision as the blood poured down her face. She wiped at it, smearing the blood across her eyelids and cheeks. Then her red sight turned black.
Raven woke with a gasp. She was on the floor, far from her bed. How did she get there? Had she ever gone to bed? Raven touched her head softly. For some reason it was throbbing, like some stabbing pain
that had turned dull with time. Her forehead was sticky to the touch. How weird... why would her head be sticky?
Raven stood and took a moment to steady herself. The world seemed to want to pull itself out from underneath her feet. She stumbled over to her mirror.
Blood... there was blood on her mirror... and on her face... all over her face... Raven stumbled back as the memories flooded back to her. Trigon... the voice... the laughing... the pain... She looked at her clock. It was 5 am. If she hurried, then she could probably wash up all of this blood before anyone else woke up. Again. She left her room, walking down the hall with a calmed step, even if her mind was far from calm.
She slid open the bathroom door and walked over to the sink, turning on the water and giving it a moment to warm up. She looked at herself in the bathroom mirror. Thanks to the blood, her skin seemed to be stained an odd shade of red. Red skin like her father. Red skin like Trigon. Raven splashed the water on her face. She picked up the bar of soap, rubbing it until the lather spilled over her palms. She scrubbed her face with the soap, scratching at the sticky stuff with her nails. She rinsed it all off of her face, watching the colored water spiral much like she had done the night before. She turned off the water and looked at herself again. Scratches marked her cheeks in spots where she had scratched too hard. With a sigh she dried her face off, hoping that the slightly raised red lines would go away before everyone else awoke.
The living room was quiet and empty. It was a perfect time to meditate. She crossed her legs and closed her eyes, breathing her chant. "Azarath Metrion Zynthos... Aza" She fell out of the air suddenly. Her
head hurt. She touched it, but there was no blood. Thankful for that at least, Raven decided against meditation.
Instead she put a pot of water onto the stove and pulled out a packet of tea. That was when she heard Beast Boy announce the morning in his rooster form. Everyone would be waking up soon. Raven wasn't sure she wanted to face them...
((Okay. This chapter was a bit different from all the others. It covered a large span of time, too. Okie dokie. I've got nothing else to say.))
