"Rise and shine, you bastards! Today it's biker boy, rules guy, and liar girl!" Monokuma announced, and then disappeared.
AN: i sed stup flaming up prepz! c if dis chaptr is srupid!1111
Celes: I'm already not impressed.
Ishimaru: It still hurts…. looking at it.
it delz wit rly sris issus! sp c 4 urself if itz ztupid brw fangz 2 ma frend raven 4 hleping me!
Owada: It still isn't any better. Some friend you have.
Ishimaru: But we're still bros, right?
Owada: Totally, broski!
Celes: *sigh*
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"NO!" I screamed. I was horrorfied!
Ishimaru: What happened to cause such a reaction?
Celes: Someone killed himself, but he can't die.
Owada: Huh?
B'loody Mary tried to comfort me but I told her fuck off and I ran to my room crying myself. Dumbledore chased after me shouting but he had to stop when I went into my room cause he would look like a perv that way.
Ishimaru: Wouldn't an authority figure be allowed into her room, especially when she's in distress?
Celes: Not to mention the fact that Dumbledore is gay.
Owada: Huh? What makes you say that?
Celes: I mean, I wouldn't know anything about that, I definitely don't care about the sexuality of certain headmasters… JUST SHUT THE HELL UP YOU CRETINS!
Anyway, I started crying tears of blood and then I slit both of my wrists.
Owada: I swear, she does this every goddamn time! It's annoying!
Ishimaru: This behavior is a huge S.O.S. She needs to seek professional help right away!
Celes: What if I told you she does drugs?
Ishimaru: Then disciplinary action should be taken, and then receive counseling and therapy!
They got all over my clothes so I took them off and jumped into the bath angrily while I put on a Linkin Park song at full volume. I grabbed a steak
Owada: Where did she get that? Does she have a fridge or something? That would be cool to have a fridge to eat at night without having to break curfew…
Ishimaru: What is that supposed to mean, brosidon? Have you been breaking the rules?
Owada: No, totally not!
and almost stuck it into my heart to commit suicide.
Celes: Oh, right I almost forgot about this.
Ishimaru: Huh? How is that possible to kill yourself with a steak?
Celes: Well, she can only die by a 'c-r-o-s-s or a steak'. Such weaknesses are interesting, not to mention unconventional.
Owada: It's pathetic, not to mention fucking stupid.
I was so fucking depressed! I got out of the bathtub and put on a black low-cut dress with lace all over it sandly.
Ishimaru: Sandly? Is that a word?
Celes: *flips through dictionary Leon left behind* Nope.
Owada: Maybe she was at the beach or something.
I put on black high heels with pink metal stuff on the ends and six pairs of skull earrings. I couldn't fucking believe it.
Owada: What? That your ears have so many holes, they look like Swiss cheese?
Ishimaru: That your outfit is causing many dress code violations?
Then I looked out the window and screamed… Snap was spying on me and he was taking a video tape of me!
Celes: Snap? What would he want with Ebony?
Owada: Snap, crackle, pop if you know what I mean…
And Loopin was masticating to it!
Ishimaru: I don't see how that warrants an explanation point.
Owada: Bro? You don't know what mas- um, uh never mind.
Ishimaru: Of course I know what it means, it means eating. The question is what was he eating? Maybe a sandwich, or toast with some butter…
Celes: Would you like me to explain?
Owada: Don't you dare…
Celes: *whispers to Ishimaru was Ebony actually meant*
Ishimaru: I… I don't… understand…they what?
Owada: If you weren't a girl, you would so DEAD right now!
Celes: We're both dead, you idiot, so your threat is invalid.
They were sitting on their broomsticks.
"EW, YOU FUCKING PERVS, STOP LOOKING AT ME NAKED!
Celes: But you're not naked, dear, you had a whole clothing description.
ARE YOU PEDOS OR WHAT!" I screamed putting on a black towel with a picture of Marilyn Mason on it.
Owada: What the hell? Goth chick is right, you don't need that towel!
Suddenly Vampire ran in.
"Abra Kedavra!" he yelled at Snape and Loopin pointing his womb.
Owada: His womb? I'm pretty sure guys don't have one of those.
Celes: Not to mention he said the killing curse, a guaranteed life sentence in Azkaban.
Owada: You seem to know a lot about this…
Celes: Don't be ridiculous. There is no way I would indulge in fantasy intended for children.
I took my gun and shot Snape and Loopin a gazillion times and they both started screaming and the camera broke.
Owada: Don't you need to reload? Not to mention have the ammo for a gazillion shots. Wait, did Ebony just kill two people?! Bro, why aren't you getting upset about this? And you haven't said anything for a while. Are you ok?
Celes: I think he's… broken from my previous explanation. He's not even noticing this huge transgression against the rules.
Ishimaru: … Someone… broke the rules?
Owada: Thank goodness you're back, bro!
Suddenly, Dumblydore ran in. "Ebony, it has been revealed that someone has - NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he shouted looking at Snape and Loopin and then he waved his wand and suddenly…
Celes: I don't think Dumbledore can bring them back from the dead.
Owada: Not to mention the stupid dots again.
Hargrid ran outside on his broom and said everyone we need to talk.
Ishimaru: *upon seeing the sentence, transforms into Ishida* Why can't you spend at five FUDGING minutes on fixing the errors in your writing! At least use quotation marks properly, you LAZY, CLASS-SKIPPING, UNFAITHFUL DISGRACE TO SOCIETY!
Owada: Holy shit bro, keep it together man…
Celes: I believe this a reference to the internet phenomenon called the 'Grammar Nazi'.
"What do you know, Hargrid? You're just a little Hogwarts student!"
Owada: Who's saying this? And isn't Hagrid a groundskeeper or something?
Celes: I believe it's Dumbledore, and for once, you are correct.
"I MAY BE A HOGWARTS STUDENT…." Hargirid paused angrily. "BUT I AM ALSO A SATANIST!"
Owada: …What?
"This cannot be." Snap said in a crisp voice as blood dripped from his hand where Dumblydore's wand had shot him.
Ishida: How is he not dead, you said you shot him a 'gazillion times', which is not a real number!
Celes: Also, wands can't shoot people.
"There must be other factors."
"YOU DON'T HAVE ANY!" I yelled in madly.
Owada: Don't have any what? This bitch doesn't make any sense.
Ishida: Exactly, she doesn't have any common sense! This is why society is on a downwards spiral, thanks to you and your refusal to acknowledge the rules!
Loopin held up the camera triumelephantly.
Celes: Triumelephantly? Is he an elephant instead of a werewolf in this?
Owada: I would feel bad for a guy who was part elephant.
Ishida: Are you forgetting the fact he should be dead?!
"The lens may be ruined but the tape is still there!"
I felt faint, more than I normally do like how it feels when you do not drink enough blood.
"Why are you doing this?" Loopin said angrily while he rubbed his dirty hands on his clook.
Owada: What is that supposed to mean? Clock? Cloak? Cock?
And then I heard the words that I had heard before but not from him.
Celes: That doesn't make any sense.
I did not know whether to feel shocked and happy or to bite him and drink his blood because I felt faint.
"BECAUSE…BECAUSE…." Hargid said and he paused in the air dramitaclly, waving his wand in the air. Then swooped he in singing to the tune of a gothic version of a song by 50 Cent.
Ishida: The grammar is atrocious! How can anyone just ignore the squiggly red and green lines?!
Celes: Maybe she didn't write this on a Word document?
Owada: What, on Publisher? Deviant Art? Facebook?
Celes: Those are possibilities…
Owada: Twitter?
Celes: Now you're just being stupid.
"Because you're goffic?" Snap asked in a little afraid voice cause he was afraind
Celes: The repetition does not help, especially when she spells the same word differently in the same sentence.
Owada: Just say what you mean for once, it's fucking stupid.
it meant he was connected with Satan.
"Because I LOVE HER!"
Monokuma: Now it's getting hot and steamy in here! What a chapter!
Celes: You need to find better means to achieve your goals. This is just pitiful.
Monokuma: Upupu… I'm inclined to disagree. But I need to take care of a little problem first. *drags Ishida away* We can't have a person like him around, otherwise he'll find flaws in perfectly good speaking language.
Owada: Bro! Not this again!
