Chapter 11

So I did not die. I found both Duncan and Alistair staring at me when I woke up. Alistair sighed."Two more deaths. In my Joining only one of us died, but it was... horrible. I'm glad at least one of you made it through." he said.
"How do you feel?" asked Duncan. I was fine so that's what I told him.
"Did you have dreams? I had terrible dreams after my Joining." said Alistair.
"Such dreams come when you begin to sense darkspawn, as you know like many other things." Duncan explained.
"Before I forget, there's one last part to your Joining. We take some of that blood and put it in a pendant. Something to reming us... of those who didn't make it this far." said Alistair and he put some of the blood that was spread on the floor into some kind of amulet and gave it to me.
I held it in my hand." I am not sure I want to remember any of this again but... thanks, I guess." I said and put it around my neck.
"Take some time. When you're ready, I'd like you to accompany me to a meeting with the king." Duncan told me. What? Why would the king want me to attend to a meeting?
I frowned. "What kind of meeting?" "The king is discussing strategy for the upcoming battle. I am not sure why he requested your presence." Great. He did not know, either. "The meeting is to the west, down the stairs. Please attend as soon as you are able." Then both of them walked away, left me wondering why the king would want my presence. Was he insane? Stupid? Alistair has been a Grey Warden longer than I have.
Why me and not him? Maybe he just wanted to see me which was reasonable option considering the way he looked at me the laast time we met. But was he not married? Though when I think of it, marriage has never been able to stop men from looking at other women. Especially if it's a political marriage. I sighed. I should not make him wait any longer, I thought. He is still the king afterall. I went downstairs and took my place next to Duncan in the meeting.
"Loghain, my decision is final. I will stand by the Grey Wardens in this assault." King Cailan looked really determined.
"You risk too much, Cailan! The darkspawn horde is too dangerous for you to be playing hero on the front lines." Loghain said. I agreed but the king was too stubborn to be talked out of anything.
"If that's the case, perhaps we should wait for Orlesian forces to join us, afterall." I frowned. We could wait for them? Then why in the Fade we are not? Looking at Loghain face when he heard the word 'Orlesian' answered my questions.
"I must repeat my protest to your fool notion that we need Orlesians to defend ourselves!" Loghain said, angrily. He must have something against Orlesians, I thought.
"It is not a 'fool notion'. Our arguments with the Orlesians are a thing of the past... and you will remember who is king." What argument? I looked around and everybody but me seemed to know what they were talking about. Living in a forest makes you a little ignorant, I guess. I should ask Alistair about it later, right now the important thing was the argument here. Loghain was as stubborn as king Cailan which did not help the matter. "How fortunate Maric did not live to see his son ready to hand Fereldan over to those who enslaved us for a century!" "Then our current forces will have to suffice, won't they?" He turned to our direction. "Duncan, are your men ready for battle?"he asked.
"They are, your Majesty." Duncan replied. The king nodded and looked at me. "And this is the recruit that I met on the road earlier? I understand congratulations are in order."
"Thank you, your Majesty." I said, bowing slightly.
"Every Grey Warden is needed now. You should be honored to join their ranks." the king said with a smile. Loghain did not like this, either.
"Your fascination with glory and legends will be your undoing, Cailan. We must attend to reality."
"Fine. Speak your strategy. The Grey Wardens and I draw the darkspawn to charging our lines and then...?" the king said. They both leaned on the table infront of them. Loghain pointed some marked places on the map on the table. "You will alert the tower to light the beacon, signaling my men to charge from cover." started Loghain.
"To falnk the darkspawn, I remember. This is the Tower of Ishal in the ruins, yes? Who shall light this beacon?" the king asked. My eyes widened in horror. A tower. They were talking about a tower and lighting a beacon. The images of the dream I had on my last day in the forest flashed in my mind. A battle, a bridge, a tower and darkspawn. This was it. The dream took place in Ostagar. Alistair and I were going to be sent to light this beacon and die right after we did. But why send two Grey Wardens to light a stupid beacon? We should be in the battle. Or maybe it was just a stupid dream. But that much of a coincidence cannot be. I looked at the king until he finally decided who to send to the tower. "I have a few man stationed there. It's not a dangerous tank, but it is vital." Loghain said. Yes! Send Loghain's men to do it. Sending Grey Wardens to an errand like this would ridicilous in a battle with darkspawn anyway!, I thought. My eyes were still wide with worry since the king have not decided what to do yet. I became so anxious that I almost yelled at him to hurry up.
"Then we should send our best." said the king. Loghain's men are the best aren't they? Yes, they are. You should send them, I thought, looking at the king's head like I was trying to make a hole in his skull. Maybe I could control his brain that way. But that was almost impossible without blood magic. I cursed myself for refusing to learn it all those years ago. Never thought I would need it. And of course his decision was what I expected.
"Send Alistair and the new Grey Warden to make sure it's done." I hated him at that moment even though he had no idea he has just sentenced us to death. I wanted to suck out all the air around him and watch him suffocate.
"I refuse to be sent on an errand!" I snapped and everyone around me jumped. Duncan cleared his throat. "We need the beacon. Without it, Loghain's men won't know when to charge." He expected me to understand, but he did not what I knew. And I also knew that he would not believe me if I told him so I had no other chance but to obey. I stared at the ground. "You see? Glory for everyone!" the king said and I almost set his hair on fire and not just the one on his head. He only cared about glory and thought I did, too. I could not belive he could be that stupid and that they made people like him king. "You rely on these Grey Wardens too much. Is that truly wise?" asked Loghain. He certainly disliked Grey Wardens for some reason.
"Enough of your conspiracy theories, Loghain. Grey Wardens battle the Blight no matter where they're from." And King Cailan liked them, us, too much. Perhaps that was the reason. Before Loghain could say anything else Duncan cut in. "Your Majesty, you should consider the possibility of the archdemon appearing." he said. Unlike the king and Loghain, he was dead serious about this topic. "There have been no sign of any dragons in the Wilds." Loghain said.
"Isn't that what your men are here for, Duncan?" asked King Cailan. Duncan looked defeated. "I... yes, your Majesty." he said.
"Your Majesty, the tower and its beacon are unnecessary. The Circle of Magi..." suddenly started the man who stood in the corner during the whole meeting but the revered mother cut in. "We will not trust any lives to your spells, mage! Save them to the darkspawn!" she snapped. That got me angry. "Really?" I said. "Then I guess I should not be here, either since you will not trust any lives to my spells." I glared at her. I hated all the Chantry zealots.
They always linked everything to that Maker of theirs. That was their excuse for locking up the mages, too. I did not believe in the Maker so why should I live by His rules? The revered mother looked surprised. "I... I did not mean... I mean I did not know you're mage." she said.
"Well, I am. And I used to be an apostate, no less." I smirked and she went crimson with embarrassment or anger. Truly, I could not tell but both options amused me.
"Enough! This plan will suffice. The Grey Wardens will light the beacon." Loghain said, cutting off our argument.
"Thank you, Loghain. I cannot wait for that glorious moment! The Grey Wardens battle beside th king of Ferelden to stem the tide of evil!" said the king and I wanted to choke him. Again.
"Yes, Cailan. A glorious moment for us all." Said Loghian with his back turned to us and he walked off. Duncan and I returned to the Grey Wardens' tent. Duncan looked at me and said: "You heard the plan. You and Alistair will go to the Tower of Ishal and ensure that that the beacon is lit." Alistair seemed to dislike the idea as much as I did, though I doubt that our reasons were the same. ""What? I won't be in battle?" he said.
"This is by the king's personal request, Alistair. I f the beacon is not lit, Teryn Loghain's men won't know when to charge." said Duncan. I frowned. He made it look like that was the only reason he was kept out of the battle but I felt like there was more to it. That was weird. Why would Duncan want to keep Alistair from fighting?
"So he needs two Grey Wardens standing up there holding the torch. Just in case, right?" Alistair raised his eyebrow. Looks like I was not the only one who sensed that.
"I agree with Alistair. We should be in battle." I said. He might have had reason to keep Alistair but not me.
"That is not your choice. If King Cailan wishes Grey Wardens to ensure the beacon is lit, then Grey Wardens will be there." said Duncan. "We must do whatever it takes to destroy the darkspawn... exciting or no."
"I get it. I get it. Just so you know, if the king ever asks me to put on a dress and dance the Remigold, I'm drawing the line. Darkspawn or no." Alistair said. He looked like he was bored already.
I chuckled. "I think I would like to see that." I grinned at him. He smiled. "For you, maybe. But it has to be a pretty dress."
Duncan sighed deeply. "The tower is on the other side of the gorge from the king's camp, the way we came when we arrieved." he said. "You'll need to cross the gorge and head through the gate and up to the tower entrance. From the top you'll over look the entire valley."
"When do we light the beacon?" I asked. If I as going to die, I might as well do my best before doing so.
"We will signal you when the time is right. Alistair will know what to look for."
"What if... the archdemon appears?" "We soil our drawers, that's what." Alistair said but I was not paying any attention to him that moment, I was waiting for Duncan's answer. He looked at me in the eye. He knew that I knew.
" f it does, leave it to us. I want no heroics from either of you." he said. I nodded. "I know what I have to do." Duncan nodded, too. "The I must join the others. From here, you two are on your own. Remember, you are both Grey Wardens. I expect you to be worthy of that title."
"Duncan... may the Maker watch over you." Alistair said, suddenly. "May He watch over us all." Duncan replied and headed of to join the others. Ugh! I cannot believe I am going on a mission that I know I will die at the end of, I thought. I glanced at Alistair. He seemed eager to proceed. Probably with the hope of joining the battle afterwards. I scowled and started walking towards the way I entered the camp. I stepped on the gorge and looked at the battle field. Those poor soldier who had no idea what was going to happen to them. I looked ahead and started running with Alistair behind me. I ran faster than I did in my dream, hoping that timing would change something.

After we passed the gorge we encountered a few darkspawn. Nothing we could not handle. We were doing just fine until we met two soldiers who were runnig away from the tower.
"You... you're Grey Wardens, aren't you? The tower. It's been taken." said one of them. Alistair and I glanced at each other. "What are you talking about, men? Taken how?" Alistair asked. The soldier pointed at the tower. "The darkspawn came from the lower chambers! They're everywhere! Most of our men are dead!"
"Then we get to the beacon and light it ourselves!" Alistair said. Wonderful. One step closer to the dream. The soldiers join us and we fought our way through the darkspawn towards the tower. I tried to save as many soldiers as I could even though there were not many left to save at the first place. I do not know how much time it took us to reach the tower but it felt like ages to me. I stood in front of the tower entrance and waited for a while. I took a deep breath and let it out. Then I took the first step into the tower and my tomb...