AN: I have received a few reviews that say that they're shocked Anakin does not act like a nine year old, even if it's just an act to blend in, and even more shocked Padmé isn't figuring it out.
This is something that has always bothered me in time travel fics.
One, Anakin is Darth Vader. He does not bend to the whims of others. The others bend to him. At least, that's how he sees it. As such, acting like a child to appease others is beneath him.
Two, he can't. He has no idea how a child is supposed to act, much less have enough knowledge to convincingly pull it off every second of every day. So he doesn't bother.
Three, why would he? Who sees a child acting maturely, and says 'Holy Crap, this kid's a time traveller from the future!'? Crazy people. Which Padmé is not. They notice something's off, but a warped space-time continuum is the last thing people should propose as a theory. And as long as Anakin provides explanations that are even slightly more reasonable, they won't reach the correct conclusion.
Palpatine scowled as he read the report. The vessel that took down the Trade Federation control ship was the same ship that used to belong to his late apprentice. Which meant that the boy who flew it in that battle had something to do with his apprentice's death. Not only that, but the ship was practically infused with the Dark Side. Any normal person or force-sensitive that were in prolonged contact would be driven mad by the Dark energies. The only ones capable of avoiding that fate were either those that have already embraced the Dark Side, or those who were Force-Blind. The latter, while rare, did happen. It was more common than Dark Side-trained nine-year-olds, at least. And it would have allowed him to get in a lucky shot with Darth Maul. Not to mention that he tried to read the boy's mind during their brief meeting, and got precisely nothing. Even Maul had trouble with that, so either this boy was a Dark Side Force-Sensitive with more experience than a fully trained Sith, or he was Force-Blind.
Palpatine's money was on the latter.
And, as Force-Blinds could be potential obstacles, not to mention he owed the boy for taking part in the death of his apprentice, he decided to remove that particular obstacle.
Using an...intermediary, of course.
Wayeli Meacolt was a professional. While not among the ranks of men like Jango Fett, he did his job, did it well, and did it without complaint.
So, when he got a message offering a million credits for the death of a child, he just accepted, and began flying towards Naboo.
He set up a sniping position roughly a mile away from his Target's known location.
After waiting a short while, his Target exited the building, allowing Weyeli a clean shot.
He was about to pull the trigger, when his target made eye contact. This caused him to pause, just for a moment. Weyeli was glad he learned how to read lips when the Target mouthed something at him.
'Wrong place, Wrong time, Wrong target. Consider yourself crushed, insect.'
Just as Weyeli was wondering what that meant, his lungs stopped working.
A mile away, Anakin smirked. Just as a bag was shoved in his face.
"Come on, pay attention, Ani. You agreed to this, remember?"
Anakin sighed, and held the bag.
Why did he agree to this again?
Oh, right because he's spending 'quality time' with the love of his life.
He just wished the 'quality time' didn't involve him standing around doing nothing while Padmè obsessed over vendor's wares.
"You know, you can just order these on the holonet, and have them shipped to your house. We do live in the modern era."
"It's not about the actual stuff, Ani. It's about the experience. Besides, it's an opportunity to socialize. In fact, why don't you do the haggling at the next stand we visit? It'll do you some good to have an actual conversation with someone who's...not me."
"Padmè, why would I want to speak with someone who is not you?"
Padmè giggled.
"Anakin! You little flirt!" Padmè teased.
Anakin turned red, and began to stammer a denial, before realizing she was making fun of him.
That, and she was no longer paying attention, as she was eyeing a stall filled with paintings, staffed by an effeminate teenaged boy.
"Ooh, how about that stall?" Padmè pointed, before proving that the question was rhetorical and taking off.
"Hello, milady. My name is Paolo, may I help you?" The shopkeeper asked with a 'trying to look suave and failing' grin.
"Yes, these are lovely paintings! Where do you get them?" Padmè asked.
"Oh, I paint them myself. Would you like one?"
"Well, I would like a closer look, but sure!"
"Take your time, there's no rush." Paolo assured.
"How much are they?" Anakin asked, as Padmè was examining a painting.
No response from Paolo, who was busy watching Padmè...with a stare just as assessing as she was giving the paintings.
Anakin's blood turned to fire, and he resisted the urge to strangle this... lecher who dared to eye his wife like a piece of meat. Instead, he came up with a more...lucrative plan.
Padmè did ask him to haggle, after all.
"Excuse me, but are you ogling a twelve-year old girl?"
That got Paolo's attention.
"What? No!"
"Oh, so your eyes were platonically glued to her rear. I'm sure the guards will understand." Anakin said, sarcasm dripping from his tone.
"I'm sorry! Please don't call the cops! I didn't know she was so young, I swear!"
"I've heard a more convincing apology from a Hutt. You are completely devoid of shame, aren't you? Maybe a prison stay will teach it to you."
"...Whatever painting she wants is on the house! Please just don't call the cops! I won't do it again!"
"...That is an acceptable apology, I suppose, if you truly regret your...lechery."
"I do! I promise!"
"Oh! This is the one I like!" An apparently oblivious Padmè exclaims, as she chooses a painting of a landscape that reminded Anakin of the place where they would go on their first date.
"It's yours, with my compliments!" Paolo all but screams.
"Really? That is kind of you! Thank you, Paulo." Padmè said sweetly.
"N..no problem." Paolo stammered.
As Anakin and Padmè left the stall, she commented "That was nice of him, giving it to me for free."
Anakin shrugged. "I'm a good haggler."
"I see. Oh, and for the record?" She began.
"Yes?"
"I'm fourteen."
Anakin smiled. Damn, he loved this woman.
"Twelve sounded more damning." Anakin shrugged.
"I suppose. In all seriousness, you are really too overprotective, you know."
"I can live with that."
"Besides, it's not like you have a monopoly on fantasizing about me." Padmè teased.
"I do if I have anything to say about it!" Anakin snarled.
Padmè looked at Anakin, shocked.
Anakin went over his last sentence in his head, then smacked his forehead.
"There is no way I can recover from that, is there?"
"Nope." Padmè agreed.
