Author: Take
Date: 5/28/08-7/19/08
Rating: K+
Summary: If he was in love with a moron, what did that make him?
Love is the triumph of the imagination over intelligence.
--H.L. Mencken
It occurred to Sasuke again, while dealing with the fallout from the "Exploding Egg Incident" - aka Naruto trying to cook breakfast - that he was in love with a moron. He paused, bits of eggshell clinging to his fingers. (Where had the dobe found such a large egg, anyway? The Forest of Death?)
Well, hell.
Not for the first time, Sasuke asked himself the question that came to mind every time he experienced a 'Naruto Episode'. If he was in love with a moron, what did that make him?
Long ago, when Sasuke was still "in the evil clutches of Orochimaru" (according to Naruto), he had sat himself down to have a think. (Naruto called it brooding, but what did he know. The blond chose his underwear for the day according to shades of orange.) After a period of soul-searching -- brooding! -- Sasuke had concluded that he had made a monumental mistake somewhere in his grand scheme. Oh, not the whole give-my-body-to-creepy-old-man-for-power thing, nor the hating-Itachi-with-the-passion-of-a-thousand-fiery-suns thing, either.
No, Sasuke decided that he was an idiot because he was in cough luurve with Naruto, and suspected that he always had been.
This was, of course, unacceptable to the would-be Avenger, and he had promptly shoved such thoughts to the back of his mind, presumably never again to see the light of day.
So how was it, Sasuke wondered as he shoved his lover out their front door while snatching up the blond's hat, that he now found himself in a relationship with Naruto? He set the hat on his lover's head and turned back to activate the house wards, ignoring the blond's squawk of protest. They were running late for the Hokage's visit to the Academy. Breakfast would have to be scrounged from the teacher's lounge and chased with a cup of the industrial-strength coffee that the Academy always had on hand.
Sasuke leaned casually against a tree at the edge of the clearing Iruka-sensei's class had gathered in, his arms crossed patiently as his lover spoke to the pre-genin. The rest of his senses were alert for any potential dangers. Naruto may have been one of the most powerful Kages in history, but he could still get hurt. Granted, the Kyuubi healed smaller wounds within minutes and almost everything else within 24 hours, but Sasuke preferred his lover be unharmed to begin with. The risk was currently heightened as Konoha was hosting the Chuunin exams in about two week's time. Already, merchants and vendors were tricking into the village, hoping to sell their wares.
Sasuke's lips tightened briefly behind his mask, remembering another exam long ago. He refused to have a repeat. Konoha would not lose another Hokage like that as long as he served as the last line of defense.
Of course, this meant sticking to Naruto like glue - the 'ole ball and chain, as Kiba had laughingly called it. (Sasuke had attempted to set the seat of Inuzuka's pants on fire, but Naruto had stopped him.) Thus, Sasuke found himself trailing his lover all over the village, but definitely NOT like a ball and chain.
Sasuke felt his eyebrow twitch as one of the pre-genin lobbed a badly thrown practice kunai at one of his classmates, the weapon colliding with a rock instead. Of all the days Naruto had felt the urge to visit the Academy, he had to choose the day the lessons included projectiles. Sasuke felt his fingers itch as another student attempted to twirl his kunai, no doubt trying to show off in front of the Hokage. It would have been more impressive had he actually known how to do so. Gods, he hated pre-genin. S-class criminals he could handle, but a bunch of untrained - or worse, half-trained amateurs? Nothing was more dangerous, because they were unpredictable. And really, wouldn't that be a stupid way to die? Death by pre-genin. Konoha would never live it down. Hell, Sasuke would die of shame if he let Naruto get hurt messing with the Academy students.
Glancing at the sun, Sasuke felt his muscles relax slightly with relief. It was almost time for Iruka-sensei to excuse the class for lunch. Thank the gods for small favors.
On cue, the teacher called his class to order, dismissing them to lunch. The field quickly cleared, the children waving goodbye to their Hokage and sensei. Sasuke ignored the children's glances in his direction, quite aware of how odd he must look in full ANBU gear, apparently lounging in the shade of a tree while the Hokage and their sensei laughed in the sunlight.
Iruka sighed as he began gathering up blunted kunai and shuriken. "I swear they get worse and worse every year," he told Naruto, who had a smirking grin on his face. Sasuke took in the chaos the nins-in-training had left behind and slipped quietly to his lover's side to help collect the weapons.
"Aw, Iruka-sensei! We weren't that bad!" Naruto said.
Sasuke's inner snort was echoed by Iruka's outer one. "Hokage-sama," Iruka said politely. "I can only thank the gods that you only had one protege. Konohamaru was quite enough, thank you." He smiled, features softening. "But I'm glad that the two of you have become such fine shinobi."
Sasuke watched as Naruto's grin widened into as true smile. As usual, he felt something in him warm at the sight. Naruto's smiles had pretty much always been able to do that to him, the Uchiha mused absently, following his old sensei and his lover.
Later, as he lay in bed, Naruto a warm weight against him, Sasuke reflected on the life he'd built with his lover. It wasn't so bad, he decided. He'd made a lot of mistakes in his life, choosing the "intelligent" path over the one laid out by his emotions. He could afford to listen to his heart, at least this once.
Naruto smacked his lips against his shoulder. "Mm. . . ramen," he murmured.
Sasuke lips twitched. Yeah, he must be in love. No way he'd let the blond ramen-addict drool on him and still think it cute otherwise.
--Owari
Author's note:
Er, yeah. I really, really should be writing my papers. Why, why must inspiration strike now?! Though, I've been watching men in tight shorts for the past two weeks. Vive le Tour!
