A/N: Sorry for the long delay on this story. I've been super busy working on my FGB winning stories. One of which is 40,000+ words long. It's not much of a oneshot anymore lol. In case you weren't aware, this story was featured on twi-fic promotions a couple weeks ago. Thanks sashylee for submitting it. :) My other story, If This Is Fate was featured on the same site this week. It's pretty exciting to have two stories featured. To all my new readers who found out about my story via twi-fic promotions, thanks for giving my story a chance. I hope you like it and get drawn into this story as much as I did. I'm always a little amazed by what my brain comes up with. Anyway I'll shut up so everyone can get to reading the chapter.
Thanks for all the wonderful reviews I get from everyone. Sometimes I wonder if some of you are in my brain at times. But even if you are close to what will happen next, there are still so many unexpected things coming up. Hopefully it won't upset anyone too much.
Thanks bzeemomof4 for beta'ing all this stuff I send you. I know I could never do any of this without you. I'm so lucky to have you as my beta and as my friend.
Disclaimer: I don't own twlight or the characters involved.
I Will Follow You Into The Dark: Death Cab For Cutie
Isabella
I was standing to the side, watching something I'd never seen before. It was different this time. I wasn't reliving it. The place was familiar. It was the backyard of the Cullen home. There were flowers everywhere. Crisp white chairs were lined up, with a long aisle of white rose petals, in between them. I could see people sitting in the chairs, but I couldn't make out any of their faces. At the end of the aisle, I could see two men standing in white tuxes. One of them helped the other, straighten his tie. I walked closer, so I could figure out who they were.
Music began playing and one of the men turned around. I gasped when I saw Edward. I looked around at the rest of the people, but still the only person I could make out was Edward. Everyone else was a hazy apparition. Even the man standing next to him was a fog. I knew it had to be Jasper, but I couldn't see his face.
Edward turned to stare down at the other end of the aisle. He had the biggest grin on his face. I had never seen him so happy in all the time I had known him. I turned, to see what he was smiling at.
At the other end of the aisle; stood a woman, in a breathtakingly, beautiful, wedding gown. Her dress was strapless, with a beaded corset. It flowed out with layer upon layer of gathered organza, leading out into a small train. The veil covered her face. But I was sure, even if it didn't; I wouldn't be able to see who she was.
As the woman began walking down the aisle, I looked back at Edward. He had tears in his eyes as he watched her walk towards him. I smiled, trying to be happy for him. I was happy. I just couldn't help, feeling a little sad at the same time.
Slowly the entire dream faded away into nothing, leaving me standing in the light. Once again, I looked around for Edward. I called out his name over and over, but he never appeared. In my heart, I knew something was wrong.
I woke up with a shock. I was drenched in sweat and my heart was racing extremely fast. I sat up, taking deep breaths to calm my heart down. I walked over to the bathroom and splashed my face with some cool water. I walked out on the small balcony of the room, taking in the cool, night air. I sat down on the cement floor, in the corner and looked up at the sky. Everything here was different than it was at home. The smells were different, the air was different, even the sky looked different.
I was startled when I heard someone open the balcony door. I looked up, seeing Rosalie step out and close the door behind her. I watched as she lit a cigarette with a lighter. As she stuck the lighter back in her pocket, she noticed me. She jumped, dropping the cigarette on the floor.
"Shit, Bella. What the hell are you doing out here?" She asked, holding her chest from the fright.
"I'm sorry. I was only getting some fresh air. It's hot inside the room," I explained. She picked up her cigarette, sticking it between her lips. She walked over and sat down next to me, against the wall.
"I guess I needed some fresh air, too."
"I wasn't aware you smoked," I observed. "Not that it's any of my business. I've just never seen you smoke before."
"I don't smoke. Well, not usually anyway. I did for a while when I was in college, but I quit a long time ago. Lately, though, everything is just so messed up and stressful, I needed something to calm my nerves," she explained. "No one knows. Not even Emmett. I'd like to keep it that way. You've already revealed one secret I never wanted anyone to know, I'd appreciate it if you kept this to yourself."
"I won't say a word," I promised.
We sat there in the silence, as she smoked the rest of her cigarette.
"Bella, can I ask you something?" She asked. I rolled my eyes in the dark. I had a very good feeling what she was going to ask. It was the same thing everyone kept asking me. They wanted to know what proof I had, Edward was still alive.
"Sure," I agreed.
"Why did Edward tell you about my nickname?" I was caught off guard by her question. It wasn't what I expected at all.
"It just came up when we were talking. He told me everyone's nicknames. He joked about how you were going to kill him now, since he told me."
"When you see him in your dreams, what do you talk about, besides nicknames?"
"Nothing really," I admitted. "At first, I tried to explain to him how he died. Then it changed to stories about his childhood, and the nicknames. Once he figured out he could show me memories, he told me about them after he showed them to me. The last time I talked to him, he was really adamant about not wanting me to go through with this. He's concerned I'm going to give up my entire life to search for him and put myself in danger. He said he couldn't live with himself if something happened to me."
"Does he not care about any of us?" She asked irritated by what I said.
"I don't think he meant it for only me. I think he meant it for all of us. I'm just the only one he could have contact with," I assured. I didn't know if I was right, but I didn't want Rose to be mad at me or him.
"Do you think we'll find him?" She wondered, aloud.
"I hope so." It was all I could give her. All along I'd been so sure we'd find him and there was no possible way we wouldn't. However, since I can't find him in my dreams anymore, I'm not so sure. I'm blind without some sort of help. It's like looking for a needle in a haystack. I have nothing to go on and his family is looking to me for answers, I don't have.
"Me too," she agreed. "I don't like seeing my family torn apart. I want them whole again. The only way to make it happen is to bring Edward home."
"I saw his wedding tonight," I shared.
"What?" She asked, turning her head and staring at me with a confused look.
"In my dreams, I normally see a past event. It's always been some sort of encounter we had with each other. But tonight, it was different. I saw his wedding." I turned to look at her face. "It was beautiful. He looked so happy, too."
"So, what does seeing his wedding mean?" She asked, curiously.
"I figure, if I'm seeing his future now, it must mean it's still going to happen."
"In other words, he's still alive," she added.
"I think so," I agreed. I could make out the slightest smile on her face in the dark.
"Did he give you any other clues on where we need to look?" She questioned.
"Not really," I answered. I wasn't ready to admit to anyone, I couldn't see him anymore. I didn't know why I couldn't see him, or what it meant. But like I told Rosalie, if I was seeing his future, it still must be possible. We just needed to find him.
She quickly wrapped her arms around my shoulders, hugging me tightly. I wasn't expecting this from her at all. I didn't even know it was possible, coming from her. "Thank you for doing this for my brother. I know you don't have to and you have no obligation to him. But it means so much to all of us, you're here and helping us find him."
"I want to find him as much as all of you," I admitted. "I feel like I'm obligated more than anyone, since he's in my head."
"Still, it means a lot."
I smiled. "You're welcome, Rose." We sat together in the dark a little longer, before she finally went back inside.
I stayed and watched the sun come up a few hours later.
"Bella," Alice called from inside the room. I stood up, stretching out my stiff body and walked back through the door. "What were you doing out there?"
"I just needed some air."
"Rose told us about what you dreamed last night. This is good news, right?" She asked.
I shrugged. "If I'm interpreting them correctly, I think it might. She let out a giddy squeal, and hugged my tightly. I looked over her shoulder, seeing Jasper watching us, with a grin on his face. Everyone in the room seemed to be in better spirits today. The small glimpse of hope I gave them, was enough to keep going. I just wished I could give them more. I needed to figure out how to talk to him. He couldn't just disappear without some sort of explanation. I had to figure it out.
Once we were all dressed and ready for the day, we headed out to do our share in the clean-up. Emmett and Jasper took off with a group of other men for a small nearby village to help, while Rose, Alice and I headed back over to the shelter where the children were.
We met one of the other volunteers there, who quickly put all of us to work, changing diapers and feeding the younger children.
As the day progressed, Alice and Rosalie were put in charge of watching over some of the older kids, as they played games outside. I was asked to change out bedding. I walked around to all the beds and pulled off the sheets from every bed and threw them into a rolling cart.
I had just about all of them; accept for one bed in the corner. A little boy was sitting there, with his head down. He looked sad and scared. I walked over to him and sat on the bed next to him.
"Are you okay?" I asked. He shook his head. "Do you need anything?" Again, he shook his head. "Well, I need to change out your sheets. Would you like to help me remove the bedding?" He stood up and instantly I noticed his stub of an arm. My breath caught in my lungs. His head dropped as soon as he heard me. I could hear the sniffle coming from him.
I felt horrible for reacting the way I did. I'm sure he felt bad about not having an arm. Suddenly, the memory Edward showed me came rushing back. This was the little boy he did surgery on.
"Do you know Edward?" I asked, casually. His head shot up and he stared at me with bulging eyes.
I smiled, and sat back on the bed, patting the spot next to me for him to sit. He did as I requested. I handed him a piece of butterscotch candy and he quickly popped it in his mouth. He looked up at me again and smiled.
"I'm sure you're pretty upset about losing your arm. Did Edward ever show you some tricks on how to do things one handed?" I asked. He shook his head, sadly.
"He didn't?" I asked in shock. "When he was teenager, he broke his arm and had to learn how to do a lot of things one handed. He even had to write with his opposite hand for a while. One thing I remember him doing was throwing a ball against the wall and catching it with his hand. He used a little bouncy ball, which I happen to have in my pocket if you'd like to try." He had a huge grin on his face and nodded his head excitedly.
I handed him the ball and followed him over to an empty spot on the wall. He glanced up at me, nervously. I nodded my head, reassuringly. He bounced the ball towards the wall and attempted to catch it on the way back. He couldn't quite get it and it bounced across the room. He sighed, in frustration. "Keep practicing. It's going to take some time to get it figured out." He ran after the ball and began practicing more. I went back to changing out the bedding, but continued to watch him from a distance. I was sure he was the same little boy Edward had shown me. He looked exactly the same as he did in the vision and the fact he had a missing arm, told me for sure this was the little boy.
After a while, Alice came back in to see if I needed any help.
"Do you want to get those sheets over there in the basket?" I asked her. She walked over to the basket and grabbed them. She noticed the little boy bouncing the ball against the wall.
"Why isn't he outside with the others?" She asked.
"I'm not sure. I don't think he feels like he can, since he doesn't have an arm," I explained.
"He must feel so bad about not being able to do what all the other kids can do," she sympathized.
"Do you know who he is?" I asked. She turned her head, looking at me skeptically.
"Should I know who he is?" She wondered.
I shrugged my shoulders. "He won't talk to me. I'm not sure if he speaks English, but he seems to understand me. The thing is, he knows Edward." Her head shot towards me with wide eyes.
"How do you know?"
"I've seen him. Edward showed me the vision of when he saved his life. I talked to him a little about Edward and he seemed to know who I was talking about," I revealed.
"Who knew what?" Rose asked, walking up behind us.
"See the little boy over there?" Alice pointed out. "Bella says he knows Edward." Rose glanced in my direction, before walking across the room to see the little boy.
Alice and I gave each other concerned looks and followed behind her.
"You know my brother?" Rose asked, getting down on her knees in front of him. He stopped bouncing the ball and looked in her eyes. "My brother is Edward Cullen. Did you know him? Do you know where he is now?" He shook his head and turned back to his ball.
"You won't get him to say anything," Amber announced, from the doorway. "This is Marcial. He hasn't talked since the storm."
"Is he okay?" I asked.
"He's fine, physically. But after losing his arm and losing Edward, he's been in a really depressed mood. We can't get him to talk to anyone," Amber explained.
"Why did Edward's death impact him?" Alice asked.
She laughed. "He was Edward's shadow. He followed Edward everywhere and wanted to do everything he was doing. Edward favored him a little too much at times. He took the news of Edward's death hard. He hasn't talked since."
"He understands us though, right?" Rosalie asked.
"He understands English. I can't say he speaks it very well," she joked. "Most the kids here can understand, but they all struggle with speaking it. As I'm sure you've all become aware of."
Rose leaned down in front of him again, grabbing his shoulders gently to turn him towards her. "I'm Edward's sister, Rosalie. Did Edward ever talk about me?" His eyes looked up, meeting mine. His hand slowly came up and he pointed his finger at me. I leaned back and looked around the room, trying to figure out what he was doing. Rose turned around to see him pointing at me. I shrugged my shoulders at her questioning eyes.
He looked back at Rose, but still continued to point at me.
"Bella," he mumbled. We all stared at him in shock. Amber came rushing across the room, leaning down next to him. I felt frozen in my spot.
"She's a good friend of the family. Her name is Bella. And this is my sister in law, Alice. We're here looking for Edward."
"Bella," he said again.
"How do you know who I am?" I asked.
He turned back to his ball and began throwing it against the wall again.
"How did you get him to talk?" Amber asked, staring at me with a shocked expression.
"I didn't. All I did was, mention Edward, and gave him a ball to play with," I confessed.
"Then how does he know who you are?" Alice asked.
"I don't know," I laughed.
"Talk to him then," Rose demanded. "Find out what he knows. Maybe he sees Edward like you do." She pushed me towards him. I didn't want to ask him questions with an audience behind me. This was awkward.
"Marcial, do you know where Edward is? Do you see him?" I asked. He turned to me and shook his head no. "Then how do you know who I am?" He grabbed my hand and pulled me across the room to the bed he was sitting on earlier. He crawled underneath the bed and a few seconds later came crawling back out with a picture in his hand.
He handed it to me. I turned it over and stared down at a water damaged, crinkled up, picture from Alice and Jaspers wedding. It was a picture of Alice and Jasper with me and Edward. It was a picture I'd seen before. I didn't know why he had it though.
I sat down on the bed next to him, holding the picture out in front of us. "Do you miss Edward?" I asked. He nodded his head. "Do you know who this is in the picture?" I pointed to Jasper's face. He nodded. "And what about her?" He touched Alice's face on the picture, before looking up at her. He smiled and nodded his head again. "Did Edward give you this picture?" He shook his head.
"Then where did he get it?" Rose demanded. We all looked in her direction and shushed her.
"Did you find this picture?" I asked. He nodded his head. "Was this something of Edwards?" He nodded his head again, taking the picture from my hand. I watched his face as he stared down at the picture. He looked sad and heartbroken. "It's all you have left of him." He didn't need to answer and I didn't address it as a question. I already knew the answer. I wrapped an arm around his shoulders and hugged him tightly. I could hear him crying and it broke my heart. I wanted to take his pain away so badly. He had nothing in this world and the one time he feels special and important, it was taken away from him. I had to find Edward. I had to find a way to take everyone's pain away.
I stayed with Marcial for the rest of the day. Alice and Rose took over the laundry. For some strange reason I felt a connection to Marcial. It was almost like a motherly instinct to protect him and love him. I read him a couple books. We played a board game. We played with the ball some more. By the end of the day he was smiling again. When Alice and Rose came over and said it was time to leave for the night, he hugged me tightly around the waist. I smiled and hugged him back.
"You come back?" he asked, quietly.
I smiled and nodded my head. "I'll come back."
I left him in the room and headed out with Alice and Rose. We walked the short distance to the place we were staying. Alice and Rose seemed upset in some way. I didn't know why.
We walked into the room and found Jasper and Emmett arguing about something.
"What's going on?" Alice asked.
"Emmett seems to think we're wasting our time," Jasper shouted.
"Well, he wants to go traipsing off into the forest in search of Edward. Honestly, I'm starting to really doubt we're going to find him. Everyone we talk to says there's no hope. They all think he's long gone. Even if he did survive the crash into the ocean and somehow floated up onto an island somewhere, his chances of surviving are slim to none." Emmett grabbed the map off the table. Have you seen how many islands there are in the Caribbean? He could be anywhere. For all we know he could be in Cuba. I think we all know if he ended up in Cuba he wouldn't survive long and there's no way we could get him out."
"We don't know he's in Cuba. We don't know where he is. But we can't stop looking for him. He's out there somewhere and we need to find him," Jasper argued.
"Jas, I want to find him too. I just think we're in over our heads. And now since you're parent's called and you told them what we were doing, it has them upset," Emmett added.
"Mom and dad called?" Rose gasped.
"Yeah, they did. But it doesn't matter. We have to keep looking," Jasper insisted.
"Jasper, maybe Emmett's right," Rose agreed. "We don't know where to look. He could be anywhere. He's obviously not here. We've all met people who knew him when he was here and they all seem really nice. I don't think they would purposefully hide him and not tell us where he is."
"Just because he's not here, doesn't mean we should stop looking," Alice argued.
"Then where do you suggest we look next?" Emmett questioned.
They were all silent. Slowly, one by one, they all turned to me." I took a step back, trying to hide away from their questioning eyes. I didn't want to be the one they looked to for answers. I didn't have them.
"Bella, you have to have some sort of idea where to look," Jasper insisted. "Edward must have given you something more to go on by now. Have you asked him where he is? Anything about what it looks like or if there are people around? Is he safe at all?"
"I don't know," I said timidly. "I don't know where he is."
"See," Emmett pointed out. "Even she doesn't know where he is. I want to find him too, but I can't stay down here forever, none of us can. We all have jobs or school or family, back home. I suggest we go home and try to find out more about the crash and where exactly it went down so we can have a better idea of where to look. Right now, we're sitting ducks. We have nothing to go on."
They continued to argue about whether or not to stay or go. I knew I'd stay. I promised myself I wouldn't stop until I found him. Even if Edward didn't want me to and no one was here to help me, I wouldn't give up. I walked back to the bedroom unnoticed and sat down on the cot in the corner.
I continued to listen to them argue and make their decisions on whether or not to stay. I felt horrible. I felt like I had let all of them down, especially Edward. It was my fault they were here and arguing. I was to blame for not knowing where to go once we got here. I jumped to conclusions and expected everyone to follow me, blindly. I thought once I got here it would be simple. I thought it would all come together and we'd find him right away. We've only been here for two days and had dead end after dead end.
I had to talk to Edward. I had to find him in my dreams. He had to be there somewhere. Maybe he was just hiding or I wasn't in a deep enough sleep to see him. If I could be in a deep enough sleep where nothing could possibly wake me up, I was bound to find him. I needed to be where he was. I needed to be with Edward.
I grabbed my bag off the floor and took out the bottle of sleeping pills. I stared at it for a few seconds, questioning if I should really do this. But I had to. I needed to get answers and be able to tell them where to look. I didn't want them arguing anymore.
I poured half the bottle of pills in my hand and counted them out. The bottle said taking two pills would give you a good night's rest. Well I needed more than a good night's rest. I needed to be out completely.
I walked over to the sink and grabbed a glass of water, before sitting back down on the bed. I counted out the pills in my hand. I figured eight would be enough to make me sleep hard enough to find him. Not only was I looking for his physical body, but I was searching for him in my dreams too.
I took a deep breath and slowly raised my hand to my mouth.
"Bella," Alice whispered, opening the door.
I could hear her, but I was in such a trance, she didn't register with me.
"Bella don't," she shouted. She grabbed my arm just as I was about to put them in my mouth. I looked up at her and yanked my arm back.
"Let go, Alice," I shrieked.
"Jasper, I need your help," she yelled.
"Please Alice, let go of me," I cried.
Jasper and Emmett came running in and saw the struggle. They both rushed over to help Alice hold me down.
"She's trying to take pills. I don't know what she's doing," Alice explained. Emmett wrapped his arms around my shoulders, holding me tightly, while Alice and Jasper both held my arms, making me drop the pills I still help in my hand. I struggled against them all, screaming and crying the whole time. I wanted them to leave me alone. I wanted to do what I needed to do.
"How many did she take?" Jasper asked, with a concerned look.
"I don't know," Alice answered, frantically.
"What do we do?" Rose asked, from the doorway.
"Bella, stop screaming," Jasper ordered. I didn't listen. I continued to scream and fight against them holding me.
I didn't stop screaming until I felt someone slap me.
"Rose," they all shouted.
"Well, she needed to stop. I got her to stop," she defended.
"By hitting her?" Alice asked, in an irritated tone.
I didn't have any fight left in me. I slouched in Emmett's grasp and fell to the floor. All three of them loosened their hold on me.
"Please," I begged. "Just let me go. I need to find him. I can't see him anymore and I have to sleep so I can find him. Please." I was crying hysterically. My voice cracked and I couldn't stop the shakiness I felt in my chest.
Slowly each of them released me. Jasper sat down on the floor with me and pulled me into his arms, holding me tightly so I could cry. I kept repeating myself over and over. "I have to find him. Let me go. I need to be with him. He needs me."
It was quiet in the room, except for my sobbing. Alice sat down next to Jasper and rubbed my back soothingly.
"What is she trying to do?" Rose asked from the other side of the room.
"Is she saying she was trying to kill herself?" Emmett asked.
"I think she was," Alice answered. "It's like Edward has some sort of psychological manipulation against her. She's not like this. She would never want to kill herself."
"Edward isn't manipulating her," Jasper argued. "You heard her, she doesn't see him anymore. She's doing this because of us."
"Will all of you stop talking about me like I'm not here?" I requested. I sat up and moved away from Jasper. I rubbed the tears away from my eyes. "I wasn't trying to kill myself. They're only over the counter sleeping pills. I just need to sleep. It's the only way I can find him. I've had two dreams and he's not there. I need to sleep for a long time and in a deep sleep. I can't help any of you, unless I do."
"Isabella Marie Swan," Alice said. "I don't care if you were only trying to sleep. You don't take that many pills at one time."
"Don't call me Isabella," I shouted.
"Why?" She wondered.
"Just don't," I insisted.
I stood up and walked out to the main area of our room in a huff. I wanted to get away from all of them. I didn't want to talk to any of them.
Hearing her call me Isabella made me think of Edward. I still didn't understand why he called me Isabella.
I noticed a bunch of stuff had been knocked over on the floor, probably from their quick movements to get to me. I began picking things up. A few seconds later, everyone else began helping me pick up.
"Bella," Alice said, placing her hand on my arm.
"I'm fine," I insisted. I knew I wasn't. I knew I was hurting myself, by trying to find him. But I had to find him. I wouldn't be able to be normal until I did.
I picked up the map off the floor and laid it back out on the table. I looked down at it, seeing exactly what they were talking about. There were so many islands and so many places we could look. Without some sort of clue or lead, there was no way we could search everywhere. I jumped into this without even thinking about what it meant. We couldn't do this alone.
Tears welled up in my eyes as I stared down at the map. Alice and Jasper stood beside me and place a hand on my shoulder.
"We'll find him Bella. I know he's out there," Jasper assured.
It was quiet in the room for a few minutes. I continued to stare at the map and named off every island and every city, silently in my head. That's when I figured it out. It all made perfect sense.
"I know where he is," I announced. I turned around to face all of them. I smiled and laughed excitedly. "He's been telling me all along. I just didn't know."
"Where is he?" Rose and Emmett asked simultaneously. They all looked at me with hopeful, questioning eyes.
"Isabela."
NOTE: Many of you who read this story have also read my oneshot "Take Care Of My Heart". It's up for a singleshot award in the tragedy/angst category, and is currently in first place. I'd love it if everyone would go over and vote for it, so I can remain in first place. Or even if you don't vote for my story, at least go vote for your favorite oneshots in all the categories. Thanks :) http:/ thesingleshotawards (dot) blogspot (dot) com/ (or you can find the link on my profile)
EPOV IN NEXT CHAPTER!
