A/N: So … it's been a while … sorry bout that. Since it's been so long since I updated, you might want to go back to the last chapter, just read a sentence or two so you remember what went on, cuz I'm picking up right where we left off.

So … with that said … let's rock this joint.

For a Long While

His name is Matthew Adam. He was born January 21st at
three in the morning. He likes Eric Clapton and being tickled,
and hates KISS and little dogs.
I Love you,

Monica/Kate

"Hey, Mattie," I whispered softly. I shifted my arms on the steering wheel and quietly released a thin but tense breath. The night air held a very soft touch to its humidity, with thin grey clouds gently hovering over a larger brighter moon. Leaves ruffled restlessly against a bare-boned wind.

I picked Matthew up from his car seat, fingering his thin brown hair. I kissed the top of his head. "You're gonna go back to where you belong," I whispered softly. I felt tears sting my eyes but I pushed them back. "You're gonna have a great life. You are." I bit my lower lip. "Much better than you have now."

Matthew gurgled and I dropped my eyes shut, leaning my forehead against his. Tears slipped through the cracks between my eyelids and rolled down my cheeks. I kissed him again. "I'm going to miss you so much," I whispered. Despair tore at my voice. "So damn much."

And I straightened up, placing Matt gently on my lap. I wiped the tears from my eyes. I couldn't lose focus. Not now. I'd come too far.

I looked out the car window. An endless suburban road stretched out before me, street lamps glowing beneath darkened sky. House number 52 stood at the end of the street. Small, lone, with a terrible sense of mystery clung to its vine-covered walls. I felt a dull sense of aching, and my fingers briefly touched my heart. I closed my eyes.

Breathe…

The living room light went out. I hesitated, touching Matthew's cheek. His eyes were slipping shut. I fondled his beautiful brown hair and my throat seemed to seize with emotion. I shut my eyes.

Breathe…

The bedroom light went on. My heart hammered. I could see his shadow, falling gently against the beige slightly see through curtain. I watched him take off his watch and walk towards the bathroom. I bit my lower lip. Any moment now … any moment …

"Mattie, honey," I whispered. My voice was thick, throat coarse. His big black eyes looked up at me, widening innocently. He had no clue what I was about to do. "Oh, babe, I love you so much."

The bedroom light turned off. House number 52 at the end of the street drowned in a pool of darkness. It was now … or never.

I opened the car door, and pulled Matt out by his bassinet. I held it gently in my left arm, and grabbed a brown cardboard box with my other. I took another long look at Matt, lying quietly in his seat. I shut the door.

Breathe…

I walked up to House 52. My feet crunched upon leaves scattered haphazardly across the walkway. Bushes that desperately needed to be trimmed lined the little path. I approached the door. A familiar door. I set the box down. I set Matthew down.

Breathe…

I allowed my hand to gently run itself along the door's face. My hand rested on the gold knocker. Number 52 was an old house, made for the families of late American soldiers. The whole street was composed of these houses. Since then 52 had been modernized, but the knocker had not been removed. My fingers traced its outline. The knocker … I looked down at Matt and caught my reflection in his big black eyes. My throat closed.

Breathe…

"Mattie," I whispered gently. He looked up at me, in recognition to his name. I watched his little eyebrows furrow, his soft brown hair blowing gently in the wind. And then he did something I'd never forget. Something permanently imprinted upon my memory. Something so simple, anyone else might write it off. He looked up at me, with complete and utter obliviousness. And he smiled. A big, beautiful, smile.

My heart tore. Tears I'd been unwilling to shed, fell and I pulled Mattie towards me, kissing every inch of his skin I could. And then I turned back to the door. I bit my lower lip. Within my chest, my heart hammered unceasingly. Panic seeped through skin. I closed my eyes. I couldn't do this … I couldn't …

Breathe …

My eyes snapped open. My hand hovered over the doorbell, fingers knotted beneath my palm. Breath hitched in my throat. For only a second, time simply ceased to exist.

And then … I pressed it.

Once.

Twice.

Three. Four. Five times.

The bedroom light flickered on. I heard thumping. He was coming down the stairs. I pivoted towards Matt, lying innocently in his bassinet. "Matthew, honey, I love you," I said.

The hallway light turned on. More thumping. "I love you. I always will."

The front light turned on. "Please don't hate me," I whispered.

The alarm system beeped as it was deactivated. "Goodbye, Mattie."

The front door opened. A thin cool breeze blew in from the heavens. Leaves rustled against the stone cobbled path. And a baby, yearning for his mother, began to cry. A confused looking man stood in the doorway, a note in his hand, which refused to make sense.

His name is Matthew Adam. He was born January 21st at
three in the morning. He likes Eric Clapton and being tickled,
and hates KISS and little dogs.
I Love you,

Monica/Kate

And as for me … I was gone with the wind.


1042
Kate's Tent
Kate's POV

"Kate."

I sat rigidly on the mattress, knees drawn to my chest.

"Kate."

I closed my eyes.

Breathe…

"Kate."

I looked up. "Jack," I whispered. Sunlight filtered through the open tent, and he closed the flap behind him as he entered.

"Hey," he said gently. I felt the warmth in his eyes, and looked away. I didn't deserve that kind of warmth.

"Hi," I said hollowly.

He sat down beside me, and just looked at me. Soaking me in. I closed my eyes. "Don't look at me like that," I whispered.

Jack was taken back. "Sorry?" he said.

I opened my eyes. "Don't look at me like that," I repeated. My whole body seemed to ache.

His eyes were beautifully brown.

"Like what?" he said gently.

Damn his tenderness. Damn his consideration.

Damn him.

I looked away from his eyes. My voice came out soft and broken. "Like I deserve to be looked at."

I felt his sigh more than heard it. "Oh, Kate," he whispered, and his hand touched mine. It was small, and soft, but felt more intimate than anything we'd ever done before. "I don't know why you're acting this way," he said softly. "And I wish you'd tell me."

I looked at him pleadingly.

"But if you don't," he whispered gently. "Know that I'll always be looking … For you, with you, at you."

An aching silence followed his words. And then …

"Oh, Jack." And my heart gave way. I began to cry, hysterically, into his arms. He held me, one hand stroking my back gently, with the other in my hair. Both my arms encompassed his waist. "Jack, I did something really really terrible."

"Shhh, it's okay." Jack was doing his best to settle me down but it wasn't working. "It's okay," he whispered into my ear. The movement of his hand on my back was somewhat comforting. "It's alright."

I closed my eyes, my tear-stained cheek pressed against his neck. "It was just awful, Jack."

Jack held me gently against his body. "Shhh … it's okay …" he murmured against my hair.

I withdrew suddenly. His arms rested on my bare legs. My eyes quivered as they met his. Why did have to be so goddamn comforting?

"Hey…" he trailed, as he gently stroked the side of my face. "Do you want to tell me about it?"

"I …" I looked down. "I'm so sorry, Jack," I said quickly, and he sighed. "I do want to tell you," I said. "I just … it's just so difficult …"

"I know," he said. His eyes were so gentle. "It's okay … you can tell me when you're ready, and only if you really want to." He looked deep inside my eyes. "No pressure."

I nodded, eyes unwilling to leave his. "Okay."

We stared at each other.

"Okay," he repeated softly. He leaned back into the mattress, and pulled me slowly down with him. I snuggled in closer to his chest, and his hand rested on my back in a comfortably familiar position.

And we laid there … for a long while.


A/N: Feel free to review, and only if you want to. No pressure. :p …. Anyways, I plan on getting deeper into both Kate's and Jack's past, cuz that's a generally fun thing to do. If any of you have any ideas for a plot line or something, feel free to email/review/PM me. I'm really open to suggestions.