Chapter 11: Greater Market
The morning sun slid into my window like a cat. I had the sound of the sea on a distant shore, the almost forgotten cry of a sea bird overhead, and the memories of lips upon my own. I woke clear of all miseries, disoriented, and sat into the sunlight that had dappled my face, for a moment believing I was visiting family friends on the coast of my home.
Then the sunlight pinpointed upon my chest and I looked about myself, thrust without warning into the real world - a captain destroyed by his madness, Heero almost murdered, Wufei burned, the babe's book - what was left of it - filled with the scent of burnt woods and brine, and my savior fled from me. My ease dissipated and tears stung my eyes yet would not fall. I had wept enough for a lifetime during this voyage. I resolved to have no more tears.
I stood from the bed, dismayed to see the gaping black hole where once my door had been, to sense the sagging of the ceiling above me which groaned as a wave twisted the ribs of the ship. The entire deck above would need to be rebuilt and the rooms underneath. It was clear in the charred bones of the babes book that the captain had not meant to survive, nor to have his ship survive with him - but to bury himself and his two traitors in the very sea upon which his misery had been born.
With a hope I cannot explain - for I knew better, I went to the dresser and searched with blind fingers though my eyes could see well enough, for a sliver of white shell, praying for its return and the forgiveness that would come with it. But there was nothing, not on the dresser, not alongside it, not behind it. I found myself systematically dismantling the room, moving bed and opening drawers, emptying their misbegotten contents onto my mattress, before I stopped and forced myself out onto the deck and away from the bereft air of the inside of that room.
I felt a desolation as I stood at the railing and looked out upon the seaside town hovering at the horizon, sails and rooftops intermingling into a scattered, multicolored line. My home island was not far from there and I had little doubt that I'd soon find my way to it. My family was well known and it was but a matter of time until I came upon someone who would recognize me.
I had gained my home. I had found my freedom, my life. My dear Therese seemed years gone and my sadness for her death, while it had never had opportunity to spring from me, was so far removed from who I had become that I could not feel it keenly in my person.
Instead, I felt another grief but would not delve into it's depths. During the voyage, now that the horrors were close but disappearing with the passing hours, I had redefined myself in ways I did not yet understand. And within that definition was something so wild and fae that I recoiled from it even then. Even after it was lost.
It was, even then, a instinctual need I feared. In my familial home, I had grown up in a world of control, of cleanliness and certainty. To fall in love with a creature of the sea, magic, doom and luck, to take on more fable than I already had been born to by the color of my hair, was to further complicate my life. I had fought back against the change and in the end, had thrust the being responsible away so vehemently that every shred of physical evidence was gone. That had been the final insult to it… to him; my throwing his token into the ocean. Granted I had done it while in the midst of a sorrow filled rage, but was that an excuse for acting in this way? My mother would have not accepted it as reason. She would have stated I was acting childish, ungentlemanly, that nothing could give cause to such rash action.
The waves brushed the sides of the boat, mixing with the distant rustle of humanity on the distant shore and I could find little comfort in it. No - my voyage did not feel finished and I remained incomplete as, later that hour, we prepared to go.
Theo found himself in charge of the ship as not one of his leaders had the ability. He went about his duties grim faced and pale still.
The men were given the choice to leave or remain. He stated that he would remain until he was certain of the fate of his beloved captain. They would attempt to make their limping way down the coast of the island to the captain's home and king's island of Piset. They had not full sail but they would have safety, for they were home. Piset was just on the southeastern side of Kin's where we had made berth to go take part in the Greater Market. It would take two weeks for the further journey, yet they'd be near the islands, land, and the water was bound to be calm, due to the storm breakers presented by the presence of the islands at all compass points.
The shore going boat was outfitted. We placed in it monies and sacks for goods as well as a few able bodied men who would aid Theo in getting what things they could use for repairs and who intended to stay on for the duration. We had been lucky that the sail overhead of the book had only smoldered, not burnt, leaving the mast good and much of the sail good as well, though not useable just then. Also, some goods to be sold at the market were taken as well. Myself and the rest would help to do this task first, before the men were taken to the market.
We left for the shore and walked with Theo for much of the afternoon, helping him to haggle his way into needful supplies and to sell goods to men who stood at various points along the bay, looking out for the foreign drinks, gunpowders, cloth bolts, fruits, meats, and other various items for trade from the incoming trading ships.
When we returned to the ship, Theo instructed us all in caring for the supplies. It struck me as very strange, to be preparing to sail when many of us would not continue but instead, would choose to go back to the island in the afternoon and be sold off to other masters. Besides myself, there were Wufei, his hair shorn to hide his birth and salve on his burns, as well as five of the men who wished to leave behind the pain of the voyage and the fearful captain who now lay unspeaking, on a bed in his cabin, a silent Heero at his side.
Theo went to speak to the captain for he had hopes that his captain would accompany us to the market and make our transactions all the more legitamate. But he returned soon with a shake of his head. The captain was not inclined to get up, to move, to do anything but stare at the wall of his berth. He had, Theo feared, lost his mind. But this was nothing I could not have told him already. The captain's final hours before the flames of the babe's book had been his undoing and I was convinced that he had lost a portion of his soul in that fire. His soul stood much like the Babe's Book did, in pieces, stark, brittle, and black against the richness of the rest of the world. He had danced with the sparks of jealousy and hatred and in the end, was consumed, proving himself to be nothing more than pitifully mortal.
We left for shore in silence. I sat behind Theo on one of the crude benches and looked back to toward the ship, my world and what proved to not be my death, being left behind, seen for the last time. There, at the fore deck, leaning against a rope, his arm tangled into the rigging, fingers curled gracefully and long body sinuous with the warmth of sun and the certainty of his place against the sea, my green eyed sailor stood, watching us and not moving.
I had not seen much of him in those last hours for he had more than likely been busy with caring for the ship and the placement of supplies. Yet, watching his features blur with distance, I was torn between diving into the water to swim back to him and going on to my shore. It was a dreadful longing and I might have lost to the compulsion had I not had some experience already with whimsical and unthinking acts in much the same vein already. Trowa had given me no assurances ever that he might have thought the same of me. Truthfully, he was a man of the sea, with no desires for land, like many of the others who chose to remain. Their lives began and ended with the sea. And I? I was of the land. We were divided by more than my intent interest in him and his seemingly lack of notice of my very existence.
Still, I imagined to myself, he might have been watching me leave him, in much the same way I watched him be taken from me. Time would not bring us together again. Not according to the paths we took and the words never spoken.
How ironic. I lived a lifetime without once considering any other but my Therese. I had loved so few in my lifetime. And in the time shortly following her death had come to be almost obsessed with both a man and a mystery. Neither of them would have me and I was left more bereft then the day I woke to sea and not a sign of my beloved wife's body anywhere near. The sea stole three from me, not just one. And it was the latter two that I felt most keenly that day upon the boat as we rowed shoreward.
I watched him a long time until he became a line of color, then I moved my body so that I would have to watch the land we approached. Beside me, Wufei was silent and I took time to regard him. I had lost - nothing could be done for it. But he… He was choosing to lose, had chosen. That much I was certain of at that time.
"What happened in there?" I asked, unable to contain myself. "In the book. For you leave, yet they have need of you."
Wufei's jaw worked and he clasped his arms across his chest, despite the red burn mark over his cheek, he was flawless and beautifully untouched. Still terribly thin from his treatment on the ship, he retained the muscular grace that he must have had by birth. It would amaze me that any would believe him a slave and not imagine him a hidden prince. I tried again. "You are loyal to the captain. He may have come to understand some day if -"
I stilled as he turned eyes so black and bottomless, cold and dismissive upon me. He did not wish to speak to me. I could, I knew, have probed and seen what was hiding underneath that mask. But I had had enough of knowing what was not revealed by choice. I did not wish to know ever again, the depths of despair men might bear.
I stared back, captured by his gaze. Then I took a breath, meaning to apologize, but he spoke first.
"My loyalty has never been in question," he said then. "It was the manner of my loyalty that brought me to shame."
"But… how could your honor have been torn from you in this way?" I was desperate to know, wanting to delve into the last tie I would ever have to this destruction of humanity we were leaving behind. "I.. I know the story. I know that you were with Heero, that you loved him; that you love him."
Wufei showed no sign of anger at my words. He instead, laughed bitterly. "Is that what is being said?" his face was cold now, not just his eyes. Yet there was a dull sheen under the ice of his mask, as if he himself could not believe half of what had occurred as well. We were all somewhat battle weary after the voyage. "That I loved Heero, that I hated my captain?"
"It is implied, yes," I added meekly, looking out toward the shoreline. We were close. And I was suddenly aware that our conversation did not go unnoticed.
"Ah," he breathed. Then he lapsed into a silence which I felt meant our conversation was over. The boat struck the side of the dock and there, we tied to a piling and the men clambered out onto the short ladder reaching upwards to the dock side. As I stood, however, he reached out and grasped my arm.
I turned and gazed down at him. He did not look at me, but instead was intent on where the waters turned black under the dock overhead. Still I waited a moment, sensing he would speak if I allowed him time.
"Had I died, it may have saved him. Had you killed me when I was chained, perhaps he might have found freedom then. But now, it is too late. So I go on. Nothing I can ever do will justify my actions or make my life worthwhile. I… I destroyed a good man with my wrongful desires." He sighed then when he stood, then took his hand away. He gestured to the ladder and said darkly, with great feeling, "Truly it is a curse to be human."
I watched him climb the ladder, knowing that he would say no more, yet he left me with more questions than answers. He might have been attempting to displace his guilt upon me, yes. I had refused to kill him. But it did not seem so, even then, that he was capable of such devious intentions. Instead, it seemed to me to be the last time he would be with one who had shared his experience upon that ship, as it was the last time with myself. He had to say something, for much the same reasons I had had to ask.
We followed Theo to the market in a line, each of us keeping our thoughts to ourselves. My hope could not be so great, even then. The end seemed like a dream.
I must describe the market for those who have little understanding of them. It is not as the more barbaric markets wherein slaves will lose all dignity and be treated as no better than dogs. At the Greater Market, as on all of the islands, men and women, some with children, some with not - some with families, many alone, stand or sit, lounge or attempt to look ready for work, all about the square. Traders with papers and banking officials wander amongst the crowds. Slaves are generally denoted by their show of the tattoo. Men with their shirts off and women with arms or bellies showing to let others know they are available. Here and there, slaves answer questions and speak directly to those who might be master.
Those who have wish of slaves, wander the crowds, often with an official at his or her side. They speak to slaves and ask questions. The use of the slave is dictated, the skills as well, and then a price is haggled between the owner or trader and the prospective owner. In the end, the slave is asked to stand with the new owner's entourage and later taken to a house to be taught his or her duties within the new household. There are no chains, no whips, no cries, no checking of teeth or limbs, no explanation of bad temper or poor breeding. It is a simple and economical matter of, in many ways, transferring available workers from one area to another.
Theo went to find an official so that he might report our uses. Then we stood in a line on the west side of the square, myself standing beside Wufei while Theo kept his place to the right of us. For those who were denoted as sailing personnel, the wait was quickly over. There was always need for good sailors and they came highly recommended, from a good ship, and were all well traveled.
As for Wufei and I, we were listed as being household slaves. Wufei also had the label of being able to teach children and yet, while he was questioned a few times, he was not taken. His ice cold demeanor, I believe, put many off. He did not seem to be one capable of being kind to children.
Theo, despairing of us finding a price before the end of the day, changed Wufei's listing as one who might teach not literature and academics, but also swordsmanship of the foreign north. Then he moved Wufei a distance from me, thinking perhaps that our looks contrasted too much, as well because I was down as a gentleman's valet. I had asked to be listed as such, sure that I would be more likely to find one who might have known me among gentlemen.
Yet out of the faces that appeared, none looked at me more than once. Despite my golden hair, my lack of tattoo and my having come from New Hartlin I believe led them to believe much as the captain had; that I was a pleasure slave for the foreigners. They feared the trouble in bringing me into a household. Slaves with too much time in New Hartlin often came back with prejudices or angers and sullen dispositions. And also, pleasure slaves were not often found in the general populace. To take one on, was to accept gossip would be spoken about one's tastes.
The sun had begun to set and Theo was near giving up, when I heard a voice that struck me as intensely familiar. I turned from where I had been watching the ship out across the ocean and stared, shocked, at the view of the man I had known as a child. A man named Milliardo; rich, spoiled, a handsful of years older than myself, and from a family which often consorted with mine. I would never have called him a close friend, yet I knew him almost as well as a brother.
He stood, staring at Wufei who stood as well. He had not sat once but had stood with little movement during our showing.
Wufei was not looking back, but answered short and quietly at every murmured question. I smirked. Wufei would have a good home with Milliardo. But Milliardo's initial choosing was not due to his listing, but more due to the dark beauty in Wufei and the fact there were so few north slaves to be had. Wufei must have seemed a strange, exotic creature to be had for the right price.
Milliardo always had had an eye for beauty and for the rare.
As he continued so speak, I eyed Theo and then began to walk to meet with them, my arms tucked behind me as I smiled, overhearing the conversation. Milliardo practically purred his questions, his pale eyes searching Wufei's face for a reaction. But he was getting none. And where others might have been discouraged by this, it obviously only intrigued my friend more.
"So you see no difficulty in teaching a grown man, then?" Milliardo was asking.
Wufei did not look at him, but instead gazed straight ahead, merely grunting affirmation.
Milliardo chuckled. "You are rather reticent, aren't you? You do speak though, at least. Just not much." He tilted his head to one side and then, mischievously, "I wonder that your last owner wasn't completely fair to you?" His eyes ran down Wufei's body. "You look rather worse for wear."
"I assure you, I was dealt with according to what is just and I am capable, sir," Wufei answered stiffly. He still sounded raw and I could not hide my smile. Milliardo would have been better to have ignored the draw of Wufei. Wufei was a rock upon which even one as stubborn as Milliardo might have bashed his head in against before he ever made a dent.
My chuckle brought the handsome face around and he looked at me a while before his eyes registered recognition. "Good Weaver… Quatre?" He was shocked and then he grasped my arms firmly and half shook me. "What in hell's fire? Why look at you! Where have you been? I had no word that you were returned. When did you … when did you come home?"
I laughed softly. "Just now, actually. Can you not tell?" I stepped back and showed off my tattered clothing and my browned skin.
"No.. I mean.. good heavens. You look like a slave! What happened to your ship? I would have never recognized you. You berthed here in Kin's? Are you looking for passage to Moon Arl?"
"I was just searching for a friendly face, actually," I laughed. "And here I found one. What are you doing?"
Milliardo gazed behind me and I turned, finding Theo staring at me and then flushing. Anger darted across his face. It had been a lie, my state, but I hoped one day he might understand why I kept it to myself. "This is Theo, the first mate.. and itinerant captain of the ship I crossed in. My initial voyage was destroyed and Theo and the rest of the crew plucked me from the sea," I said and reached out to touch his arm. To my relief, the stricken sailor did not pull away but instead cleared his throat and bowed his head in greeting.
Milliardo stared at Theo in shock and then shook his head, flabbergasted. "A shipwreck? Good gods, Quatre. What a story you have to tell, it sounds like. But as for me, I am here trying to while away some time. Mother wanted to find another household slave and I thought I would see who else we had, to see if there were any intriguing persons to be found. I've found one, I think," he laughed.
"Yes?" I asked. And did not give any indication I knew Wufei. He had his reasons I knew, to want to do as he was doing. And if Milliardo took him under his wing, then I would be sure to see Wufei again and perhaps, wrest from him the reasons. "You seem to have found someone worthwhile," I settled on, rather than saying more.
"Yes, I think I have," Milliardo seemed pleased and then he glanced around. "Well, you won't have a way home then, so I shall have to speak to Mother. We will let your family know. Theo," he addressed the sailor to my side, "what might we say to thank you for the safe transport of one of our own? His family will have missed him terribly. I do not know that they even knew he'd been lost. But without you.." He paused, obviously not willing to state the obvious. As close as death had been during the voyage, it would have been assured had they never taken me aboard.
"Without my captain, sir," Theo was quick to interject. "I'll pass along your gratitude. And you had interest in Wufei?" He jerked his head toward the northern man uncomfortably. He obviously had no ease when it came to land men, nor those of a higher birth. "I've his charge, sir."
Milliardo stared at Wufei and then me, bemused. "Well, yes.. I dare say I have great interest. And yes, tell your captain, here.. come.. we shall make this official and then speak more. I will buy us all a dinner, shall I?"
Theo was reluctant to do so, and Wufei even more so. In the end, Milliardo agreed to a sum far above what any man was worth, insisting on it, in fact, as a payment for the safe keeping and travel for myself. He was in the process of inticing Theo with a warm dinner, when his mother appeared. She was shocked at my dress, at my quickly explained ship wreck, and at the fact that I had been almost lost for good. My mother and she, being close friends, would have shared information about myself otherwise. My family had had no idea of my loss, not yet.
After that, I lost track of the others and was swept up in her perfume and concern - and as incapable of stopping her from tearing me away from them as I had been incapable of halting the sea from stealing my wife, my simplicity, my innocence, and a good deal of my heart as well. For when I finally had my head about me once more, I was cleansed, in a small apartment of the lady's, with my feet squeezed in shoes for the first time in months, my hair tied back out of my face, and not a single reminder of my ordeals but for calluses which had taken up permanent residence upon my palms and a certain darker gold to my skin when I looked down at my hands.
It was over. And yet, I could not find any part of my spirit, my body, my self, which rejoiced.
Chapter 12: ( Returning home - Quatre tries to get on with his life, with something missing. )
(( Thank you everyone for reading still! We're not yet done, but getting closer! I am sorry for the questions left, but since we are following Quat and not the rest, things will have to remain a mystery for a while longer. I'm terribly sorry about the wait. My year is easily cut up into the half year I can write and the half year I can't. I'm hopefully coming into the half year where time is more readily available and therefore I can go back to updating!
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Sabby: You're wonderful and I'm so glad you are reading! I love having names I recognize! And you know, it's not such a bad thing to be hooked to reading hack writing! Hee hee. At least, not in my book!
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Thank you also to ArlenSayos, NostalgieMalaak, Haywire (yay!), and Youkai Girl. You make writing worthwhile! Without your reviews, I'd never have the energy to pick up keyboard and write the next chapter ))
