Seras watched as her Master walked into their room and she waited for him to look at her. "Did you get them all?"

"Yeah." The vampire went over to his luggage. "But we should have mounted them on flagpoles, instead of erasing their memories…." His voice trailed off as he smiled at the spider-free blood packets.

"Sir Integra demanded it. Even for John…" She paused, also looking at the packets. "Where did you put all of the spiders…?"

Screams filled the level as girls ran from their rooms in terror. Alucard's giggles/cackles accompanied the sound, making Seras glare at him. "Ever heard of the Golden Rule?" She frowned when she was ignored and Alucard continued to laugh.

"No. I put the spiders outside." He grinned to himself and bent down.

The Police girl's eyes widened in confusion and she looked to the door where the voices were coming from and then at her Master.

"I almost sacrificed a blood packet or two, but found that those brats weren't worth it." He gave a sinister laugh and his eyes gleamed while he pulled out the case containing his pistols. "Rats are much messier."

"Ewwwww!" Seras hid her face in her hands and shuddered as her Master fazed through the window.

(Unfortunately the teens who had witnessed Alucard's supernatural qualitative were demanded to have their memories erased. Integra allowed no exceptions, so John too fell under this category. Alucard fulfilled his duty that night and was ordered to avoid contact with Anderson while he searched for the vampire, and there was to be no fighting by any means. And so, the next day of school began, a Friday, and Alucard sat down at his place in Art History.)

"So?"

Alucard looked over his sleeve at the boy who was sitting next to him wearing a beaming smile. "So what?"

"Yes or no?"

The vampire blinked and then frowned. "Yes or no what?"

John paused and seemed somewhat hurt. "Will you go out with me? You made a big deal about avoiding me yesterday."

Alucard ducked his head into his arm and cursed for a minute before he resurfaced. "No."

"Why not?" John stood up, forgetting that they were still in class. "Why not?" he said louder. Voices erupted throughout the room as most of the students had been anticipating the answer to the confession.

"She turned him down?" "Who does she think she is?" "Poor guy. It's probably better for him." "Girl's strange." "Is she gay?" "Shit, does she think she's better than everyone else?" "Yay! Go John!"

The whispers and exclaims caught the boy's attention and he started at the of the faces that were looking in their direction. "How do they know?" He stared at Alucard in disbelief. "Did you tell them?"

There was a vicious hiss and several of the voices quieted or rose in surprise. "No. People spied from their windows at the dorm…" Alucard fell to muttering and he snarled as he stood to leave. He passed the teacher on the way out, leaving Mrs. Flore beside herself. The teacher was about to yell at John when she heard the whispers as well.

"Poor girl." She sighed before snapping at the class to be quiet. "But she can't run from her problems. I'll have to tell her counselor and her parents…"

Alucard slept in the library and got up when the bell for the last class rang and students filed out of their classrooms. He went into his Calculus class, arriving a little early as the library was right next to the room. He situated himself at the back table.

Students came in and ignored the black haired girl. Then whispers arose, but they were soft and the vampire overlooked them to focus on sleeping. Seras followed Harriet to the room, staring at her shoes with apprehension about the chaos that was beginning to unfold. She bumped into her friend when the girl stopped.

"Father?"

Seras blinked and looked around Harriet's shoulder. "Your dad's h…" Her eyes deadened at the man who stood in front of the whiteboard. He stared back at her with the same amount of disbelief and then gave a chilling smile.

Seras ran out of the room with a scream of panic, ripping Alucard from his arm to stare at the priest. He stood from his chair and slowly moved past the multitude of confused and rambling students, walking up behind the distracted priest who was greeting Harriet warmly. The vampire stared at the back of his head until the man shivered and turned around.

"This is an interesting development, Father Anderson."

"YOU TOO?"

The class calmed eventually and Anderson was introduced as the new Calculus teacher that would act as a substitute while their other teacher was on maternity leave. Seras wandered back to class eventually, and was written down as being tardy and given Saturday School by the merciless teacher. She sat, shivering in her seat until someone suggested that she go to the nurse's office. She considered it, but disagreed with the complications and decided to stay, though she got up and sat next to Alucard, much to the class's surprise. Word spread that the two were adopted siblings. It still did not explain the strange fear the girl had for the teacher, so more rumors spread, circulating around. John was upset by the strange smile Alucard was giving the teacher and how the two smirked at one another often. The girl had laughed openly at the teacher at the beginning of class as well. He gritted his teeth and tore out a chunk of his notebook paper to scribble something on it before tossing it to the back of the room.

Alucard watched as the little ball of lined paper bounced on the table. Boy's a good shot…. He mused as he unraveled it.

Do you two know that teacher? What about my answer as well? Are you going to go out with me? No is not enough, give me one reason and I'll leave it be. You also have my cell still.

Seras read the note and colored. "You said no?"

"Of course." Alucard hissed between his teeth, writing his reply.

I'll give you the cell phone after class. We know the man, he's an acquaintance of mine. And the answer is still no way in hell little boy. No, no, and no, because I say so. I refuse. Period. Don't reply to this note.

John read Alucard's message and replied anyway.

You still write like a princess, and you can't knock out my teeth because I didn't say it aloud. You mean the teacher's your friend? And no is not an adequate answer. Why am I not good enough?

Because you're a little brat and I have no interest in you. Leave me be. Sure, we'll say Anderson is a friend. Don't reply.

Why can't I be your friend? Am I just not your type? Is Mr. Anderson your type? You like older guys? I can tell by the way you look at him that you're interested.

Alucard face planted into the desk, making Seras yelp. Father Anderson stopped what he was doing to turn around and see the piece of paper rocket into the boy's face. He growled in annoyance, not having seen where it had come from exactly, and marched up the teen. John started when the note was snatched away before he could open it. The paladin read through the conversation and then flinched when he was mentioned in a personal topic. Anderson frowned at the response.

STUPID BOY! YOU AND YOUR PERVERTED MIND SHOULD LEAVE ME ALONE!

A glare went to the boy. "What's your name?"

"John." The boy muttered and looked at his desk.

"See me after class."

The classroom was deathly silent after that. People were unsure if they would survive if they tattled on Alucard.

"Alright, John." The boy was grumbling to himself as he stood in front of Anderson's desk. "Why did you think you could get away with harassing a girl in my class? Is it because I'm new?"

"No. I wasn't harassing anyone. I know the girl." John looked at the door where he knew Alucard was waiting to return his phone.

Anderson gave an unobvious smirk. "I think I know who the girl is from what was written." John recoiled and stared at his shoes. "Harriet Jones used to be an orphan under my care…"

Disliking the misconception and believing in Alucard's immunity within the school, John cut Anderson off. "That's not the girl."

The priest blinked and then scowled at the only remaining possibility. There were two rather large reasons why the busty Hellsing vampire would catch teenage attention. "I'll give you some advice. Stay away from Seras. She's no good for…"

"Alucard. I like Alucard, okay Mr. Anderson? Unfortunately she doesn't like me back but you're doing wonders for my self-esteem." John was growling the words and he glared at Anderson. The priest was struck dumb for several moments, leading John's glare to lessen and pass away. "Teacher? I mean, Mr. Anderson?"

"Is this a joke?"

Intimidated, the boy stammered and said it wasn't. Anderson suddenly recognized the boy and he stood up with contorted features. Don't tell me the monster's… he swallowed unsteadily, remembering the topics and his mention on the paper.

"What connection do you have with Alucard and Hellsing?"

John frowned and took another step towards the door before he could stop himself. "What do you mean? The hot, scary, robot lady? Seras? Or the Walter butler dude? Alucard's a girl I like. Teacher's aren't supposed to be involved in this sort of personal stuff…"

"So you've met Integra Hellsing?"

The door swung open with a crack as it broke the hinges and then fell to the floor. Alucard was glowering at Anderson with a hint of shock in his features. "Did you just call Integra what I think you did, Judas Priest?"

Anderson froze at the accusation and his own blunder. He blanched and stared at the vampire before snarling. "No, demon. I…" Alucard ignored him and grabbed John, whisking him out of the room. Anderson watched the door mutely.

"No…I didn't just call Integra Hellsing hot, stupid monster…." He muttered hoarsely, shaken by what had just happened. Alucard's gay? He shook his head until he was dizzy to get the thought out of his mind and the inclusion of himself in the topic that had been suggested and not directly refused.

The vampire erased the boy's memory of his breaking down the metal classroom door when John refused to overlook the amazing feat. The recent removal of memories combined with the additional session led to John forgetting other memories…revealing them to be Alucard's response when he mumbled 'so…what's…your answer?' with dazed eyes before he fell unconscious.

Alucard walked along the concrete laid path, passing the football field which was still lit up, and headed towards the boy's dormitory. Because it was Friday, the vampire didn't want the precious additional sleep he managed to get on the weekends to be wasted. He would have to confront the boy now, the time when the teen's basketball practice would be finished, though the thought made him grimace. Letting Anderson decapitate him sounded so good at the moment…

He walked through the doors, oblivious to the dead silence that came with his appearance, and stalked up to the desk where the supervisor was reading a magazine with his grimy shoes shedding flakes of mud on the documents laid out on the wooden surface.

"Excuse me."

The man started and fell out of his chair at the female voice. He hastily slapped his hand on the seat to push himself up, forgetting that the chair had wheels, and the unshaven man ended up plummeting to the floor once more. He rose over the edge of the desk slowly, grumbling curses under his breath. "What do you think you're doing in here? Get out, little girl!"

"Tell John Blake to meet be out front."

Beady black eyes that reminded the vampire of one of the rats he had recently put into Harriet's bed, squinted at him. The eyes looked him over and then the man smirked. "Oh. Blake? Don't you have his number?"

"I have to return his cell phone." Alucard took the phone out of the pocket of his skirt and waved it before the smirk with a growing glare. "He put it in my bag during class by accident, so get rid of those inappropriate thoughts, old man."

The supervisor started and muttered something intelligible as his face became red with fury. "How dare you? I should inform your parents about this kind of disrespect towards adults."

"And I'll file for sexual harassment and you can see how easy it is for you to deny that claim in court." A white smile appeared on the girl's face.

Pale and shaky with unreleased rage, the man stood and left to go to the elevator to fetch the boy himself.

"Whoa! So, what do we have here?" Someone attempted to drape an arm around the vampire's neck, but Alucard moved out of the way. He saw a few boys that had become curious, walking over to investigate why the black haired girl was there. The guilty boy put up his hands and whistled with a reassuring smile. "No need to be so defensive, girly. We…" his voice stopped when he recognized Alucard with widening eyes. "Shit. You're the messed up Hellsing girl, aren't you? The crazy sister of the hot blonde?"

"That just about sums me up at the moment." Alucard gave a slight frown and narrowed his eyes, putting his palm on the counter as he leaned his back against it. "Go away. I'm not in the best of moods at the moment." The red eyes narrowed further as the vampire realized he had been ignored and the boys were murmuring amongst themselves.

"Damn, from her figure I thought she was some cute girl we could have fun with…." "Too bad, not a bad body either…." "I could…" Their discussion was ended by a snarl and one of the boys yelped as his feet left the ground, Alucard lifting him up by his shirt. Their difference in height made the scene a little awkward.

"Would you like to repeat that for me? I'll be sure to give you a complementary lesson on the art of castration if you do. Or impalement…do you want to know how they used to do it in the good old days?"

The teens shook their heads at the dead seriousness in the inhumanly strong girl's tone. Fearing her slightly fanged smile and the flare in her demonic red eyes, they ran for the elevator before their friend was dropped to the floor. The straggling boy dodged John when he dove after his friends into the elevator, pushing the close button frantically. They noticed John and gave him a look of pity as the door closed.

"What was that about?" John looked the snickering girl over with a faint smirk.

"Educating the next generation, nothing special."

Returning to the dorm, Alucard recalled the identical reaction from John when he told the boy his answer was no, after giving him the cell phone back. He sighed, exhausted, and reached for the door to enter the dorm. Suddenly, something sickeningly sweet and sticky rained down on him like a sheet of water, making him cough and sputter with wide eyes. He looked up in time to see a hand holding a bottle retreat from the window above him. Alucard hissed at the juice that was running down his back and making his shirt cling to his skin, and he entered the building. Seras was bewildered when he walked into the room demanding her soap, shampoo, and conditioner. She gave it to him, still speechless, and stared when he left.

Alucard paused by a dispenser in the hallway, making it drop a toothbrush and toothpaste without giving it anything in exchange.

Going into the showers he stopped with a blank expression and then decided to retreat for now as he was confronted with a group of girls who were giggling and splashing water at one another. Integra would kill him if he took a shower with a bunch of high school girls, and it was probably illegal anyway…which made it a little more tempting than it should have been. He sniggered at the thought as he briefly explained his reason for returning to Seras when she insisted on questioning him, ignoring her outburst of revulsion afterwards.

"How could I overlook that?" Seras groaned, all of her energy spent after the taxing day. She eyed Alucard distrustfully. "You didn't see anything… right?"

"Nothing new and different." He disregarded the furious glare and gave his own at the floor as he thought. He started talking to himself, pacing back and forth. "I need a damn shower. Stupid girl…Who decided to freaken pour juice on me anyway? What'd I do to them? I haven't killed anyone or anything…bunch of jealous little brats…" he continued to grumble and then stood idly in the middle of the room. "Damn it!" Seras flinched at the sudden volume and looked up from her textbook on the floor. "I can't even sit down!" Red eyes flicked to the girl. "Do you have an extra towel? I can at least wash my face in the bathroom."

She gave it to him after the explanation he provided and Alucard crumpled the pink towel in his fist as he went down the hall. When he returned, he kept the towel on his head and claimed a blood packet from his luggage.

"You can't kill anyone…" Seras mumbled cautiously, observing the vampire's glare. "…please don't." she added when he gave a fanged, bloodied grin.

"I have other means for getting back at them." He snickered to himself and Seras fell quiet, focusing on her homework instead. Meanwhile, Anderson was stalking the courtyard and skirting the buildings as he searched for the target vampire or Alucard, surprised not to have run into the nosferatu yet. He strained his senses, looking for an evil aura.

Only a little put off by having to postpone the night's excursion, at midnight Alucard smiled when he opened the door and the showers were empty. He peeled off the juice crusted uniform and flung it on the tiles carelessly before going on to take his shower. He had a generous amount of toothpaste on the brush and was working the fruity taste that the blood had been unable to erase, off his tongue, then left the toothbrush in his mouth to run his hands through his hair to get rid of the last of the strawberry conditioner. Suddenly shadows flitted across and around the room, soon being registered as scriptures by the red eyes. Alucard stared, frozen in place as a familiar chuckle died violently with a choked cough when Anderson stared back at the vampire. The toothbrush fell to the floor with a dull click. Other than this fleeting sound, there was silence.

"Anderson. I'm going to have to take your eyes as compensation." Alucard recovered his voice with a sigh/growl and he lowered his arms from his head as he rinsed and spat out the toothpaste. He disappeared and reappeared next to the towel he covered himself with, unfortunately ending up closer to the pale priest. The vampire gave him a questioning look, realizing he was still staring blindly at the showers. "Anderson?"

"Aren't….you…" Anderson managed slowly and glanced at Alucard with a vacant expression. "…supposed to be a man?" Alucard's face matched his for a moment, not realizing what had been said. He gasped and his eyes burned as shadows filled the room, still wearing the pink towel.

"GET OUT OF HERE YOU BASARD PRIEST!" He snarled while he attacked Anderson, but the priest dodged. "I'M GOING TO TAKE MUCH MORE THAN YOUR EYES NOW! DAMN YOU!"

The showers were in shambles by the time Anderson managed to retreat. Alucard was grumbling to himself down the hallway, oblivious to the fact that all he was wearing was a towel, which happened to be something that was duly noted by the sleepy Seras who lifted her head from her pillow when the door slammed shut. She gawked at her Master while the ancient vampire threw the dirty uniform in the corner of the room, next to the door, and proceeded to his bed.

"Put some clothes on!" She demanded through a rapidly spreading blush.

The boys' school uniform formed out of shadows and the towel was hung up on the bed post with the other pink monstrosity the vampire had used earlier. Alucard was scowling as he readied to leave. "I'm going to kill Anderson tonight." He muttered darkly, a ominous gleam in his eyes.

"But Sir Integra said…" The Police Girl stammered timidly, confused by his anger.

"You also need to figure out if you can use a shower on the next level."

She gave him a quizzical look.

"Anderson and I destroyed this one."

There was an empty pause. "Wait!" her eyes widened and she gasped, making the springs of her bed creak when she shot up. "You don't mean he….!" Her cheeks burned.

The snap of a cartridge being loaded into the pistol cut her off and Alucard gave a haunting, humorless chuckle. "I'll castrate him, shoot out his eyes, then kill him….or maybe keep him alive for a while…" Alucard grinned and laughed again."His body will look nice on the lamppost right outside our window…it'll prove somewhat of a challenge getting him through the lamp part but that will just make it more enjoyable…." Something pink appeared in the corner of his eye and Alucard left the blood-dripping fantasy that was playing in his mind.

"Sir Integra! Sorry to wake you but Master, he…!" Alucard scowled and stole the phone from his fledgling, making her protest.

"Alucard…" came a groggy, pissed Hellsing voice. "What's going on?"

"Anderson and I destroyed the showers."

Silence. "Why?"

"Someone decided to pour juice on me."

"What does that mean?" there was a low growl on the line.

"I had to wait until now to take a shower."

"And?"

"Anderson came in. It's only fair that I kill him now."

Silence. "Are you serious?"

Alucard sighed and his hand covered his eyes for a moment. "Can I kill him?"

"No."

"You'd let me kill him if it was you he saw."

There was some stammering before Integra responded. "That's different! You're a man!"

"Not at the moment, as Father Anderson was kind enough to mention he had clearly observed." Alucard scowled at the memory.

"I…well…um…" Integra groaned and it seemed like she hit the phone on a hard surface. She cursed. "You cannot kill him. End of story, Alucard. DO NOT FIGHT HIM AT ALL! I'll call Maxwell and demand why they've decided to…"

"Anderson said he knows a few students here. They used to be orphans under his care, apparently."

"Hm." Integra sighed. "I'm going to bed... I don't think you'll see much of Anderson tonight."

"Perhaps." The vampire paused and spoke as Integra was about to hang up the phone. Fearful of giving Walter a heartattack if had been decided that the vampires should contact Integra instead of the old man. The butler did not miss his cell phone or the Funeral March tune. Alucard smiled wickedly before masking the expression. "I have some interesting information for you, Master."

Silence. "What?" Integra snapped, disliking the tone her servant had used. It suggested glee.

"Father Anderson recognizes you as a, quote: 'hot, scary, robot lady'."

There was a silence that reminded Alucard of a graveyard and he smiled at the pleasant memory.

"John referred to you like this and Anderson immediately recognized who it was."

"It was…the scary part…" the voice spoke quietly. The vampire's grin doubled with a chuckle.

"Of course, keep telling yourself this if it makes you feel better. Oh, and I do hope you have pleasant dreams tonight, Master." The line went dead. "Goodnight."

Alucard threw the pink phone at his fledgling's pillow and she put it away, blushing, but also much relieved. She fell asleep as he left through the window.

Across a frequented quad, the vampire let out an exhausted groan as a familiar silhouette stood on one of the buildings and walked towards the edge. Alucard instantly went to the base and glared up at the teen. "Don't you dare jump aga…" John jumped anyway and Alucard scowled as he had to catch him for the second time.

The boy was breathless and he smiled with a pale, clammy face. "I knew you'd be there…."

He yelped when he was dropped to the ground roughly and John gazed up at the red eyes with a stern look on his face. "Go out with me. I'll jump again if you don't."

"That's not funny." The vampire growled under his breath and John began to look hopeful.

"Go out with me, tomorrow, for dinner or something. It's not going to kill you."

"I'm tired. I've had a horrible, traumatizing day. And I almost didn't come out here, fool, and as a matter of fact, if you had jumped five minutes earlier I wouldn't have been available to catch you." Alucard glowered at him coldly and turned away from the boy who had become as white as a sheet.

"Wh…at?" The teen tried to keep some remnants of hope, beginning to get up off the ground. "You're kidding, right?" He cleared his voice and planted his feet, trying to appear unfazed. "So, I'll meet you in front of the girl's dorm tomorrow at 5:30. Don't eat dinner before then."

The vampire walked off into the shadows, and when John pursued, the dark haired girl was gone. The boy looked around nervously, then gave up, praying to the God he didn't believe in that he wouldn't have to jump off the roof again.