Author's Notes:
This is my first Fan Fiction so please go Easy on me.
What will happen??
Read and Review!!! Please!!
I hope you enjoy this story…=D
Disclaimer: I don't own anything TWILIGHT or it's characters. They belong to Stephenie Meyer.
Chapter11: I am NOT a MonsterEdward POVI was walking Bella to gym. I am so happy. I feel so proud and so fulfilled. Bella is my girlfriend and I am walking her to gym, hand in hand. I sound so giddy. The thoughts of others didn't bother me, they didn't matter to me.
"I'll see you later." I told Bella as I let go of her hand- I fell like taking it again and ever have to let go.
"Okay." She said and then she kissed my cheek and left it burning. Her lips were so warm on my cheek. I wonder how it would feel on my lips… No! If your lips get that close, you and your lips know what would happen. Be content!! "Thank you." She added.
"What for??" I asked as I placed my hand on my burning cheek.
"Everything." She turned and left for class. I walked- more like hopped- to my next class- Spanish. Emmett was already there when I arrived. His thoughts were concerned about me.
While we were having a discussion, Emmett finally 'talked' to me. You haven't told her yet?? He asked.
I shook my head. Sigh. "I want to Emmett but I'm afraid that I would lose her because of this. If only I could just keep it to myself but… I don't want to continue lying to her." I whispered.
"I know you love her but… does she… love you back??" he asked. I mean do you know if she really does??
"I don't know." I started. "She's only told me that she loved me when I was comforting her that day. Even if she said it almost a hundred times that day, she never said it again."
"Maybe you should make sure first." Emmett suggested.
"No Emmett. Whether she still loves me or not, I will tell her. She deserves someone who can trust her. I trust her. She wouldn't want me. I am a monster, I don't want to be a lying monster."
"Eddie." He sighed. "You are not a monster."
"Who are you kidding??" I almost yelled. "I killed others before. I practically… no. I wanted to kill her. I wanted her blood." I whispered.
"Forget about that first." Emmett changed the subject. He really doesn't like seeing me sad. "You never really told me about your date.'
"Our date. It was the best. The way she looked at me that day was different. It was full of trust and happiness. I was so glad that I got to spend that time with her."
"Have you… kissed her??" he asked.
"No." I sighed. "I don't think I can. I mean sure. I can hug her and all but I don't know if I can handle that."
I was going to add more when a conversation interrupted me.
I thought we were friends. Jessica sobbed from the girls' bathroom just behind this classroom. I knew I shouldn't have told her about it!! But she was my best friend and I had to tell her. I had to tell Bella about my feelings for Edward.
I stiffened. It was Jessica. She told Bella about those false ideas. I felt my anger rise. I felt like breaking something. Jessica would never learn. She's been thinking things like these since I started coming here. I thought that she wanted Mike now… Why are her thoughts back to me??
"Edward, what's wrong??" Emmett asked.
Do you think she's still crying?? Lauren asked Jessica. We just left her there you know??
I don't know and I don't really care about her anymore. We don't need Bella. We have Cheska on our side now. Jessica said.
They made Bella, my Bella cry?! Then they just left her there?? They didn't care about her?? They even replaced her?? I thought they were 'friends'?!
I glanced at the clock. Ten minutes before class ends. "May I go to the restroom??" I asked the teacher.
"Mr. Cullen. We all know the rules in my class. No one can go out unless it's five minutes before dismissal or five minutes before I start my discussion. We don't want you to miss anything do we??" she said. I only get to spend an hour with you everyday. I'm not putting it to waste. Fluent in Spanish or not… young or not… I blocked her thoughts. Five minutes and then I could look for Bella.
She could still be crying. Who is there with her?? is she alone?? She needs someone to comfort her. she needs me.
"Edward?? What's wrong??" Emmett asked. "Calm down. Your going to break your desk."
I took a deep breath and then closed my eyes. "Emmett. Im going to kill Jessica and Lauren and forever ignore Cheska."
"Why??" he asked.
"Jessica told Bella that she claimed me and that would explain why Bella ignored me then. Lauren sided with Jessica and made Bella cry in the locker rooms. Cheska is her 'replacemet'."
"They did that to her??" Emmett fumed. "I'm going to help you." No one messes with Emmett Cullen's brother's girl. No one!!… but me.
"Don't." I said. "Bella wouldn't want that." I should tell myself that. I will not kill Jessica. I will not lie and I will not be a monster. I am not a monster. I took another deep breath and opened my eyes.
For the rest of the five minutes, I tried to forget about Jessica, Lauren and Cheska. They don't matter. I will not let them matter to me. They will not affect me.
"May I go to the restroom now??" I asked the teacher rudely. I still cant control my emotions.
"Okay." She said and I left the room.
I walked to the gym and heard the coached thoughts. Where did that Swan girl go today?? I swear I saw her go in the locker room but she never came to class.
I froze. Is Bella still in the locket rooms?? How am I supposed to get to her if she's in there??
I listened to the voices in the locker rooms… None are about Bella. Ahhh!!! Where did she go??
I walked to the cafeteria… Nothing.
Science building… Nothing.
Math… Nothing.
English… Nothing.
In the past five minutes. I've searched those places in a not so human pace. I still haven't seen her. where could she be??
Sigh. I walked to the parking lot after hearing the bell ring. Am I just going to give up like that?? I have freaking vampire senses and I cant find one girl?? The love of my existence?? The one whose blood calls for me?? What kind of vampire am I??
Just when I began to doubt my vampire-ness even more, I heard sobbing… Bella. I ran to her so fast that no human eyes would be able to see.
I wrapped my arms around her slowly and she just kepy sobbing. She knew it was me. She sobbed into my chest. "Shh…" I whispered. "Tell me what happened." I knew what happened but maybe she would want to let it all out.
She shook her head and held on to me tighter. I carried her into my car. I sat her down on my lap as she continued to cry. "Edward." She said. Her voice was so hoarse. How long has she been crying?? The whole hour??
"Shh… I'm here." I chanted. I could feel her heart beating so fast that it could jump out of her chest; her blood that was pulsing through her veins; I could feel the warmth I longed to have in my throat… and I felt her tears. How could I be thinking about things?? Bella is crying and is in pain.
"I know." She whispered. She snuggles closer to me. Her head on my shoulder. "They replaced me."
"I know." How?? How did I know?? "There were girls who heard the conversation in the locker room." Good one. Damn. You're lying again!! "I'm sorry Bella. It was Jessica?? The one who said that she claimed me first??"
She just nodded. "I'm sorry."
"You must think I'm stupid to cry for this." she said. "Do you know that ever since she told me to stay away from you, I felt so weak. It was the weakest part of my life." she admitted. I should let her cry it all out. "I didn't know what to do but ignore you because if I didn't, I would fall for you even more." She just sobbed.
"It's going to be okay." I comforted her.
"Your not mad??" she asked. What kind of question was that??
"I am furious at Jessica for telling you that and for feeling that she owned me but I don't want to be mad. Not when you need me." I cuddled her closer to me. How I wish I was warm. I don't want her to freeze and not in this condition but she seemed comfortable. She soon fell asleep on my lap.
I got out to the car and put the seatbelt on her. she was sleeping but she didn't look peaceful. I tucked her hair the back of her ear and walked to the driver's side of the car.
I was about to start the car when there was a tap on my window. From the thought she is thinking I don't want to even look. I rolled the window down and glared at her. "Edward, can we talk??"
"Aren't you already talking??" I asked coldly. Did she really have the nerve to talk to me??
"Look. I'm sorry." Wow. That was unexpected. "Can you come out here?? I don't want to wake Bella."
I sighed and got out of the car. "What??"
"Edward don't get mad at me because I fought with Bella. This is not your fight and you shouldn't pick sides when you don't even know mine." She said.
"I don't need to listen to your side! I believe Bella!" I screamed. Does she really think that I will change my mind and side with her when I hear her side?? "I don't want to believe anyone who replaces their friends or picks guys over their best friends."
"Bella picked you over me!!" she yelled. "She stuck with you!! How can you deny something like that??"
"Not at first. Do you know how many tears, hours and energy she's wasted because of you?? Because she picked you??" I yelled back. "she picked you. She told me that she couldn't love me but she just broke down and cried and I was there for her. Not you!! Not the friend that you claim to be… Me!!"
I want to tell Jessica off so badly but I am not a monster. I'll just make sure she learned her lesson. "I felt so helpless. All I could do was hold her, she wouldn't stop crying. She cried herself to sleep twice!! This is the third!! And yourself a fried to her??" I turned back to my car and opened the door.
"Edward, I love you." She said and I froze. "I know you know that."
Ew!! I got in the car and left immediately. That was disgusting. Jessica just admitted her love for me. That sounds so horrible.
I heard sniffles. Oh no. Bella's awake. I looked at her. she kept her eyes closed but there were tears rolling down her face. I stopped the car on a quiet road. I unbuckled and wiped her face. "Bella??" she didn't move.
"Bella, love I know your awake." I whispered and she opened her eyes slowly. "You heard that didn't you??"
she nodded. "Bella." I cupped her chin so that she would look directly into my eyes. "What she said means nothing to me."
"Really??" she asked. "You wont pick her over me??"
I chuckled. "Of course not." I love you, hot her. I will only always love you."
She smiled. "I love you too." She leaned forward. Slowly. Her lips parted. I could feel her blood pulsing trough her veins. I could hear her heart. It was so fast. Her scent is so… overwhelming. She moved closer. This would be so easy. When she gets close enough, I would just bite and her blood will be mine.
Closer. Closer. Her lips were merely an inch from mine. I am so close. Her blood will be mine soon. I will get the blood of… Wait!!! "No!!" I yelled and backed up to the door, panting. What was I thinking?? I am not a monster. You wont Edward!! You will not kill her!! She deserves a better life that this. Don't do that to her.
Bella backed up too. "What's wrong??" she asked breathless.
How am I supposed to explain this?? Will I tell her?? Am I ready for her to know?? Am I ready to lose her?? No… Definitely not. "I'm sorry."
"No. it's my fault. I didn't think." She said. "Are you sure your okay??"
"Bella. I don't know… if I… can just do that yet…" I said.
"your not ready??" she asked.
"It's not that." I said. "I don't know if I should."
"I don't understand you." She said.
"I'm…. I'm….sorry." I was so close!!! So close to telling her… so close to losing her.
"It's not your fault." She said. She moved closer to me. Her heart was calm now. It was definitely helping. She smiled. She held my face in her warm hands. "it's okay."
I nodded. "Thank you."
"No. It's the what?? Third time you've seen me break down?? I should be thanking you."
"It's no problem." I said. She let go of my face and at back down on her seat. I put my seat belt on again and started the car.
Bella POV
When I almost kissed Edward and he backed off. I admit that I did feel rejected but the looked on his face said something else. Its not that he didn't want me. There was something bothering him. From topaz, his eyes changed to black. When his cold hands gripped tighter on me… there was something off.
We got to Charlie's house ow and I sighed. I looked at him and he was smiling devilishly at me. He leaned in closer to me. His lips parted and his left hand moved to the door. He left it there. He leaned in closer, my lips parted and I was breathing hard not. My heart was skipping beats. Closer still until our lips was an inch apart…
Click. He looked down and I followed his gaze. He unfastened my seatbelt. Then her opened my door and sat back on his starting at me, he was fighting a smile. "What??" he asked.
"I hate you." I told him. That is so unfair!! I thought I was going to get my kiss!!
"You didn't think that I was going to kiss you right??" he asked, looking completely innocent but I knew better.
I poked him on the stomach and stuck my tongue out and that was it he burst out laughing at me. He was gasping for air and I was just shocked that he could laugh this long. He was still laughing. He opened his eyes, he was still chuckling.
"I hate you." I said again and left the car. He started laughing again. I walked to the door and picked up the spare key from under the mat. When I stood up, he was there, right beside me. I jumped and I turned so that he was in front of me. I was gasping. "I really hate you." I said.
"no you don't." he whispered seductively. My breath caught and my heart was skipping beats again. He leaned closer again and his lips were centimeters away. I parted my lips slightly and closed my eyes. His lips lightly brushed mine and then I heard the door unlock. I opened my eyes and he was grinning.
"You stole my key." I accused. I held my hand open and he placed it there. I put it back under the mat. I walked in the house not minding him. "Aww… Someone's mad at me."
I ignored him. I just walked to the kitchen and got a cup of water. I put it in the sink then I felt Edward's arms wrap around me. His chin was on top of my head. He felt so right there. "Please forgive me." He pleaded.
I shook my head. I tried to pull away but he wouldn't let me. "Please??"
"I hate you." I said. "Don't talk to me." Don't look into his eyes. When you do, you will lose. Don't show weakness Bella!!
"Please Bella. Forgive me." He pleaded with a really adorable voice. I shook my head. He raised my face to look up at his. NO!!!
"Please??" he whispered.
"Okay." I sighed.
He smiled. "I love you Bella." He hugged me tight.
"Love you too." I smiled back at him.
Edward POV
I looked at her. "I love you Bella." I said the truest of true words known to me. Her face was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. How could I hurt someone like her.
I am not a monster. I will never hurt her. If I was going to stay with her. I will push that idea out of me. I will not go back to being a murderer… Not going back to being a monster. I will be Edward Cullen.
"Love you too." She smiled at me.
Author's Notes:
There we go!! Chapter11!!!
Thank you for the constant reviews im getting for this story!!
Love you guys!!
So there.
Edward knows that it's Jessica.
He was still very noble about it.
If I were Edward, I would have stuck to killing Jessica for making the love of my existence cry.
Next chapter will be the day before the Auction…
Plans of Alice and Emmett… Will they still go through it??
Edward vs. People who want to 'Buy Bella'…
Hahaha…
Please REVIEW!!!
