Beth came to on Steve's couch as Steve was clattering around the kitchen area. She sat up slowly, her head pounding if she moved too fast. From where she was, Steve looked… good? She couldn't help but appreciate how his t-shirt practically hugged his torso and he just looked so damn domestic.
Bad Beth. You can't think this crap while sitting on his couch.
"You passed out." Steve stated it like a fact, pulling Beth from her thoughts; there was no emotion there at all. "You had a panic attack and then you passed out so I put you on the couch."
"Thanks," Beth responded in a small voice. "Could I get a glass of water?"
"It's on the table in front of you." So it was. She downed the whole thing as Steve came to sit next to her. "How are you feeling?"
"Like I passed out on your bedroom floor. I don't normally do that. I- I'm sorry."
"Nothing to apologise for. It's been a stressful couple of days. And I shouldn't have kissed you."
"Can we talk about that later?" The kiss was a conversation Beth really didn't want to have. Ever.
"No, because it's the one thing we can sort out right now." He sounded so forceful and Beth tried not to let her mind wander, really she did.
Where the hell is this coming from, King? What, one kiss and you think about him in bed? Seriously?
"I was out of line kissing you."
"Steve, you told me to stop you and I didn't. I'm as much to blame as you are."
Steve gulped. "Why… Why didn't you stop me?"
That was the question Beth wanted to avoid. Why hadn't she told Steve to stop? Because there was a small crush blossoming, but that's not exactly something you can tell someone. Especially if they're Captain freaking America. Instead, she settled for a simple, "I don't know." She knew Steve didn't believe her; the look on his face said it all.
"We need to get this cleared up, Beth. One less mess."
"No, you need to get it cleared up. I'm perfectly aware of the fact that we kissed and that it'll probably never happen again."
Please drop it, Steve.
"Probably? That doesn't sound very definitive."
"Who am I to say what'll happen in the future?"
"Beth-"
"No. I'm serious when I say that it's just you who needs to sort this out. My coping mechanism is to push problems like this so far down inside me that it's almost as if the problem's gone away. Right now, I can't deal with this. My home has been violated, I've been asked to join a secret organisation that hasn't had the greatest reputation lately, and I found out that half the people I know at the school are probably part of Hydra and will want to kill me if they find out I'm on SHIELD's side. Enough about one goddamn kiss, Steve. Sure, it'll be 'one less mess' when we've sorted it, but I literally can't cope with sorting it out right now."
Steve lowered his head and muttered his apologies. He hadn't realised how wound up Beth was and here he was, pushing for an answer. He was surprised when he felt Beth's warm hand in his.
"I didn't mean to snap." Her voice was softer than before. "I just… There's so much going on that I need to sort it out in my head. But I swear, the moment I'm ready to hash out the whole kiss thing, you'll be the first to know. For now, can we just watch some trashy TV until I can go back to my apartment?"
The elevator seemed to take a year to reach her floor. Steve stood next to her, careful not to touch her but just wanting to wrap her up in a hug.
You can do this.
You can do this.
You can so do this.
The elevator doors opened and there stood Carolyn, eyes fixed on her cell as she tapped away on it.
"Agent King."
Carolyn's eyes snapped up and she slipped her cell back into her purse. "Captain Rogers. Beth."
"What does it look like?"
That was all Beth had been thinking about since they had left Steve's. Would it look exactly the same? Would the family portrait next to the closet still be slightly crooked? Would her books be in the right order?
"It's…" Carolyn seemed to be struggling. "It's tidy." She sighed. "You want my honest opinion? It looks like your place, Beth, but it just doesn't feel like it is anymore. At least to me."
This was the one time that Beth wanted her sister to be wrong. She wanted it so badly, but Carolyn was always right. Except for the gaping hole where the coffee maker should have been on the counter, everything looked normal. The books were in the right order, the picture was crooked (Beth later found out that Carolyn had done that). It just felt… wrong. Her personal space had been violated. In a fit of panic, she grabbed Steve's hand and squeezed it tightly. In response, he pulled her close.
"I can't live here any more, Steve."
"I know."
"I need a new apartment."
"I know."
"But I can't work for SHIELD."
"I know."
