"I kept my renditions of you on the wall"

Sheena looked over at Eugene, who was leaning on one of the peeling hand-rails, breathing hard. "What's that by your elbow?"

"Huh?" Eugene looked down. Curly skated past and leapt into the air, spinning once or twice before gliding around the bend. "Hm. Looks like it could be someone's initials!"

"Oooh, how sweet!" Sheena bent forward, careful to hold onto the railing, and squinted at the scratches in the paint. "That's funny."

"What's funny?" Eugene rotated slowly around, slipping a little, and waited until the rotating light slid across their side of the rink to squint closer.

"It's just that I've seen this before…"

"Oh, really? Where?"

Sheena paused to think. "Well, the first time was probably behind the tray cart in the cafeteria… Then I noticed it on a couple of the gym bleachers… And there's definitely one in the big stall in the upstairs girls' bathroom."

"Hmm… that is extraordinary, Sheena." Eugene squinted off into the distance.

"Well, if you're going to make fun of me—" Sheena put a hand indignantly on her hip.

"Actually, no. What I meant was… I've seen it too. But in the boys' bathroom."

"Oh." Both of them stared at the initials. Red and blue flashed around them.

"Do you think—"

Sheena and Eugene shared a long, serious moment.

"That's too weird." Eugene laughed nervously. Phoebe and Gerald sailed by holding hands.

"You're right. It could be anybody." Sheena smiled.

Helga, strapped into a bright pink pair of roller blades, was slouching along the outer edge of the rink, apparently teaching herself how to skate backwards. Every so often she would shoot a furtive look around the room, as if daring someone to come closer.

"Didn't Arnie—" Sheena's breath caught in her throat as Lila suddenly slid up to them.

"Hi, you two! Your choreography was quite enchanting today. I don't know how you do it!"

"Thanks, Lila!" Sheena beamed.

Eugene grinned. "We've been working on the lift for weeks!"

"And Eugene only sprained his ankle once!"

Lila nodded, "Well, you're such professionals that I wouldn't—oh my, Eugene, are you okay?"

"Oh, I'm fine, everything's fine here!" Eugene laughed nervously.

"But I'm certain you just had a terrible spasm. Are you sure you're feeling well?"

Sheena glanced down at Eugene's hand. It was covering up the lettering.

When Lila had finally been placated and shooed away, Sheena glared at Eugene. "What was that all about? Why are you being so weird?"

"I'm just watching out for Arnold."

"Arnold?"

"Yes, my friend Arnold. Heard of 'im?"

"There's no need to be sassy with me."

"Who you callin' sassy?" Eugene grinned. "Come on." He held out a hand to pull Sheena along with him.

The lights swirled around them. Sheena counted 1-2-3-4 under her breath despite herself. "Please tell me!"

"Okay, okay." Eugene slowed to grab onto the railing again. "I just don't want Arnold to get hurt. Remember last time someone thought someone else liked them based on rumors and hearsay?"

"Um, Eugene," Sheena rolled her eyes, "that happens every week."

Eugene put his hands on his hips but had to quickly grab the railing again. "Well, most of the time it doesn't end well."

"But that's the way it is. That's high school."

"Yes, but… I think I'd like to see at least one turn out okay."

"And you've picked this one?"

Across the rink, Arnold glided up alongside Helga, surprising her with a tap on the shoulder. Sheena saw the glare Helga gave him, but then Arnold was already holding her gently by the elbows and steering her along the edge.

"Yeah…" Eugene smiled.

Phoebe and Gerald sailed by again, supposedly oblivious to the scene unfolding.

Sheena yanked Eugene along suddenly, almost ripping his arm out of its socket.

"Aaagh! Sheena, slow down!" He wobbled unsteadily from foot to foot, trying to gain his balance, but Sheena was pulling him too fast.

"I want to see something, silly!"

"Whoa, okay, okay!"

She slid to a halt three-quarters of a lap around the rink and breathed out, "Oh, my…"

"What?" Eugene was panting behind her, hands on his knees. "What is it?" He lurched backwards as Curly twizzled dangerously past him.

"I agree with you, 'Gene." She turned to smile broadly at him. "How are you so good at this stuff?"

He smirked. "I'm sassy, remember?"

Sheena tapped him on the top of the head and pointed at Arnold and Helga. Helga was wearing what she clearly thought was a secret kind of grin, but so was Arnold behind her.

Lila scooted up behind Sheena, making the odd couple jump. "You two are ever so sneaky."

"Whatever do you mean, Lila?"

"I have a feeling that you know that I know what you know…" Lila's sing-song voice carried back to them over the thumping disco music.

"In your dreams!" Eugene laughed and skated forward. He promptly crashed smack into Curly, who collided into poor Stinky and Gloria, who caught Brainy around the ankle, who sent Park wind-milling into the wall.

"Criminy, would you look at these imbeciles?" Helga guffawed as she went past.

"Helga, it's Eugene." Arnold mumbled matter-of-factly.

She continued just as loudly as before, "Now I remember why I thought this was a bad idea."

"Don't you trust me?"

"Once Jinx Number One goes down, Jinx Number Two isn't far behind—"

"I am not a jinx!" Arnold was indignant.

"I ain't taking any chances, Hair Boy." Helga broke herself free and spun carefully around. "Let's go get a soda. You're buyin'. Hey Pheebs! Geraldo! Arnold's generously offered to buy us all a drink!"

"All right! Thanks, man!"

"Hey—that's not—whatever…"

Sheena shook her head bemusedly and bent to pull Eugene from the wreckage. They mutually decided it was time to take a break too.

As they perched on the balding carpeted benches, taking off their skates, Sheena whispered harshly, "Hey Eugene?"

Their friends were clustered around the food counter, shouting and laughing.

"What?" Eugene glanced at Sheena curiously.

"Take a look at that wall."

"Local leagues… what about it?"

"Take a closer look."

"Hm. Is that Helga? In the junior roller derby picture?"

"Looks like she was captain."

"Interesting. Are you saying—"

"Well... they wear skates. So maybe…"

"Huh. Look at this one. Broom hockey too. State champions."

"They wear blades."

"She's always been pretty slick on the ice, now that I think of it..."

"Oh…"

Eugene wiggled his eyebrows. "Now who's sassy?"

She pulled her hand out of the cramped little P.O. box, astounded that there was actually something inside.

"What's this junk?" she asked aloud. Another student turned to look curiously at her but quickly realized Helga was talking to herself and backed slowly away.

"Yeah, yeah, keep walking." She tore open the envelope. Out peeked something glossy.

What kind of moron sent such tripe?

Happy birthday, Helga

The card fluttered to the floor. Helga glanced around at the students traipsing past before snatching it up and clutching it to her chest. Arnold. She should have known.

She ducked behind a corner, not exactly sure why, as no one walking around the building really knew her, to read it.

What was he trying to pull? Did she have to start sending people cards now? Was this expected of her, as a budding new adult? Phoebe never sent her anything, and Phoebe was a model human being. It's just Arnold.

She tore the return address off the tip of the envelope and thrust it in her pocket. Two could play this game.

Several days later, Arnold's roommate called over his shoulder. "Hey, you got a box."

"What?" Arnold looked up from his desk.

"Yeah, it's super weird. Looks like a cooler."

"That's funny. I didn't order anything."

"Says you gotta open it immediately."

Arnold began to open the lid but jumped backwards as a powerful scent emanated from the box. Round, shiny wet eyes glittered unblinkingly up at him.

"But… I didn't order anything," he repeated plaintively.

"Delivery for Arnold Shortman," announced a voice from down the hall. A delivery man was wheeling a cart across the carpet. Stacked fully to his height were several more boxes.

"What's going on?"

"Sign here, please. I've got another stack waiting outside."

"But I swear I didn't order this!" Arnold opened the top box and confirmed there were more scaly things inside.

Arnold's roommate plopped down into his chair and let out a low whistle. "I'm from New Orleans, dude. I can take care of them if you want." He snapped his fingers. "We could throw them on the grill and have a party!"

"We probably should. I'd hate to have to throw all this..." Arnold suddenly clapped a palm to his forehead and collapsed into his own chair.

"Man, are you okay? What are you laughing about?"

"Helga. This is definitely the work of Helga G. Pataki."

"That girl you can never get a hold of?"

"Yeah." Arnold watched helplessly as another cart of seafood arrived at the door.

"Nice catch, man."

"Ha."

Several states away, Helga looked at the card she'd tacked to the wall and chuckled to herself.

There was an illustration of a fish jumping out of the water. Inside, big bold letters spelled out: YOU'RE REELY GREAT.

She got another weird look from her roommate, but she didn't care. She was gleefully looking forward to the new voicemail she'd be getting soon.