Silas and I made the very wise, and very responsible, decision to skive off all of our classes and spend the day lounging by the Black Lake. Some of the time was spent napping considering the lack of sleep I had received recently but most was spent talking. Silas tried to keep the quidditch babbling to a minimum for my sake but that didn't stop him from going off on an hour long rant about Izzy trying to undermine him at practice. It was nice though, getting to catch up with him. I hadn't realized that in the past few weeks we hadn't spent much time alone together and I missed it. I missed him.

Professor Longbottom's owl had delivered the time and place for my detention with James during the mid afternoon. The hours had passed so quickly that I didn't even realize that the time had come for it until ten minutes before I needed to meet them in Longbottom's office.

Silas kept sending me pitying looks as he walked me there. "I hate that you have to spend detention with that asshole." He grumbled for the third time. "Do you know how long you'll be there?"

I shrugged, not concerned. Sitting in detention with James didn't sound as terrible as Silas was making it out to be, but I wasn't going to tell him that. "No clue. I've never had detention with Longbottom before."

"He's awful. He once had me help him dissect some sort of venomous shrub for four hours when I had detention with him. I still have the burns on my side from where it shot poison at me after I accidentally tickled one of its branches the wrong way."

I snorted at the image. Silas somehow always ended up with the worst detention stories. You'd think it would teach him how to behave properly but I suppose that would be hard with bad influence friends like us.

We got to Longbottom's office before James and I told Silas to head back to the dorms. I knew there would most definitely be some sort of stupidly immature confrontation if the two were to see each other. I didn't want to go in alone and be forced into awkward small talk with Longbottom so I slid down the side of the wall to wait for James.

He came strolling down the corridor not too much longer. His hands were stuffed casually into the front of his dark gray hoodie and his black hair was tousled to a messy perfection. He looked good, fantastic even, but there was nothing unusual about that. What was unusual were the harsh purple and red splotches surrounding a severely swollen eye.

"What in the hell happened to you?" I demanded and shot up instantly.

"What? Our little pal didn't tell you?" By his heavily sarcastic tone I knew he was talking about Cyrus. "I would've thought he would've been bragging about it any chance he got."

"I haven't seen anyone but Silas all day. Did Cyrus do that to you?" I asked and I lightly tilted his face to the side so I could get a better look. His jaw set slightly at the contact but he didn't move away from my touch. It looked like Cyrus put every ounce of effort he had into decking him with as much force as possible. The bruising was just starting to form but it already looked bad.

"He got a swipe in right after you took off down the hall. I didn't see it coming and then Hazel blasted us apart before I could retaliate." He sounded bitter that he didn't at least get a punch in. Hell, I was bitter that he didn't at least get a punch in.

His bruised face felt like my fault. After all, if I hadn't forced him into a duel then there would have never been the confrontation in the corridor in the first place. I opened my mouth to apologize but he cut me off before I could. "Don't you dare say you're sorry." He warned and, even through swelling and bruising, his golden brown eyes bore into me with a ferocity that I couldn't argue with. I didn't have time to even if I wanted considering the door to Longbottom's office opened. Our professor glanced between the pair of us and our close proximity and frowned when he saw the ugly bruising on James' eye.

He let out a sigh and ran a hand through his graying hair. "Jesus, I knew it was probably a mistake to give you two your wands back but I never thought you'd whack him across the face, Miss Moseley."

"It wasn't her, Neville." James explained with an easy grin. His whole demeanor had changed as soon as he saw his favorite professor and family friend. I was surprised he wasn't putting on the same front for him that he had after we were caught dueling. "I just have a knack for pissing off Slytherins apparently."

Longbottom rolled his eyes but there was a little smirk playing at the corner of his lips. "So much like Harry," He muttered under his breath with an affectionate shake of his head. "Knowing it wasn't you that did it does make me feel a bit better." Longbottom said with a kind smile toward me. "I wouldn't want you breaking your hand over an ugly mug like his."

I grinned at James' mock offended expression. "Can you just tell us what our detention is instead of ruining the fragile self esteem of your students, Professor?" He teased and Longbottom rolled his eyes.

"Fragile self esteem, my arse." Longbottom snorted and turned back to me. He jerked a thumb in James' direction. "When he got voted Witch Weekly's Fittest Bloke of the Year last spring, he didn't shut up about it for a good two weeks and sent everyone multiple autographed copies."

I bit the inside of my cheek at the way James' face colored and I tried to choke down the thought that he looked really cute when he was embarrassed.

"It was a joke!" He insisted defensively and threw his hands up in the air in exasperation. "It's not my fault that no one appreciates good humour these days. Once again, can you tell us what our detention is so we can stop taking the piss out of me?"

"Stop your whining, will you?" Longbottom told him and stepped out of his office fully while motioning for us to follow him. "I could have you guys fertilizing plants with hippogriff manure if I wanted. You're lucky you're getting off with trimming leaves."

The greenhouses were a short walk from his office and James and him chatted the whole way about Gryffindor's quidditch chances for their match against Ravenclaw next week. "Any interest in quidditch, Jordan?" Longbottom asked in a lame effort to include me into the conversation. The boredom from quidditch talk had to be painfully evident on my face.

"None at all." I answered honestly. "I'm not too keen on a broom."

"Oh I'm a miserable flier too. When I had my first lesson I fell immediately off and broke my arm." He said with a small chuckle. "It's still interesting to watch though, don't you think?"

I didn't want to tell him that it wasn't a matter of being a poor flier. It was a matter of being deathly terrified of heights to the point where I couldn't even watch a live game without feeling sick to my stomach. James spared a glance at me and must've noticed my discomfort because he jumped in to save me from explaining that little fact. "Quidditch isn't for everyone." He said with a little shrug. "She's more into whipping hexes around."

He didn't say it in a condescending way like I would think he would in front of Longbottom to keep up the act. His tone was more of admiration than anything as if he was truly impressed with my dueling skills.

"I'll say." Longbottom replied as he unlocked the door to Greenhouse Three. "James is lucky he made it out with his life. You seem like you have a real talent for dueling." I smiled in earnest at that. I was waiting for him to ask what we were dueling about but he never did. Instead he just ran through with us which plants to tend to, how much to trim, and how to avoid getting stuck by thorns.

As soon as Longbottom left, I turned to James. "Does he know?"

"Know about what?"

"Us." It felt like the wrong word to use because it implied that there was something more intimate to our relationship but he understood what I was getting at. The casual way James acted to me around him made no sense unless Longbottom was aware that we didn't hate each other after all.

"Neville knows everything." He said with a fond smile. "He plays it off sometimes like he's oblivious but he feeds off of the gossip." He clipped a particularly large branch from the plant he was working on and it hissed menacingly at him. "It doesn't help that for some reason Freddie treats him like his own personal therapist and schedules weekly meetings with him to 'catch up'."

I rolled my eyes. Of course Fred and his big mouth had something to do with it. It got quiet for a little as we worked on the plants until James broke the silence. "You doing alright?" I lifted my head but he wasn't looking at me. He had a faint blush on his cheeks as if he was suddenly shy and I couldn't stop the smirk from hitting my face.

"I've had worse said about me." I said with a little shrug. I was trying not to dwell on the events of last night. Spending the day getting away from everything with Silas had briefly helped in forgetting what had happened but Cyrus and Mitch's words would always be burned in the back of my mind.

He shot me a look. "But from your best mates?" He said and gave a particularly violent cut to an unsuspecting, overgrown weed.

"I'll get over it eventually." I put down my shears and hoisted myself up on the table with the plants so my legs dangled over the edge. I grinned at him. "All else fails I can count on you for a good duel to keep me from murdering them."

He cracked a smile at that. "Speaking of, I have something for you." He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper. I took it from him with a raised eyebrow.

It was a brightly colored flyer that had So You Want To Be An Auror? written at the top in flashing letters. It listed where to get more information, costs attached, and all the deadlines for applying.

"You should apply to the program." He said to me before I could even finish reading it.

I had told him the other night that being an auror was something I had been thinking about, but I had no clue what brought this look of confusion on my face was enough to have him keep going. "When we were dueling earlier today, it was the happiest I've ever seen you. And even though that kind of scares the hell out of me, I feel like you should do what makes you happy."

He was using an arm to lean against the edge of the table to my right. I wasn't sure what I was focusing more on; how close his hand was to my leg, his mouth, or the words actually coming out of his mouth.

"Why does it scare the hell out of you?"

"Because if you're at your happiest when hurling hexes at someone then I think that's reason to be mildly concerned." The corners of his lips pulled up ever so slightly. "You'll fit in perfectly with the other aurors though."

"I won't get in. There's no point." I folded the flyer back up, unable to look at it any longer. "They aren't going to take a pure-blooded Slytherin. I have 'dark wizard infiltrating the auror department' written all over me."

"I know the guys at the auror department." James said with an eyeroll. "They aren't nearly as prejudiced as you make them out to be."

"I'll have to think about it." I told him as I tucked the flyer away in my pocket and he didn't seem to like that answer.

'You're good, Jordan." He said and the ferocity in his eyes was back. "Outstandingly good. You have the marks and the talent. Why would you not go for it?"

I didn't want to say that I was scared to apply but part of me truly was. Becoming an auror was something that I scarcely allowed myself to think about and I didn't want to get my hopes up for something and then be disappointed with the outcome.

I opened my mouth but I didn't have a response. James had every door open for him. It wasn't something that he would be able to understand. I was overwhelmed that he had even thought about it though. Me offhandedly mentioning being an auror the other night wasn't something I thought he'd remember. But he did, and he went out of his way to try to get me to pursue it.

I tilted my head slightly to the side as I considered him. "Can I ask you something without you getting offended?"

He raised an eyebrow at that. "I have a feeling that you're going to ask me anyway no matter what my answer." He was very correct in that assumption.

"Why don't you have any friends?"

He snorted at my harsh phrasing. "I mean I have friends." He frowned and then shot me a mildly concerned yet amused look. "Or at least I thought I did. Do I come across as some creepy loner or something?"

"Oh come on, you know what I mean." I said with an eyeroll before explaining further. "You only ever hang out with your family. Your best mate is your cousin. Your entire quidditch team is made up of your siblings and gingers. I mean, you're shockingly not as horrible of a person as I originally thought you were. I just don't understand why you don't have any close mates outside of people you share your DNA with."

He nodded his head as if he was thinking about what I said. "I guess you're right when you say I don't have any really close friends outside of my family. But I talk to my roommates enough and I get on with some of the Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs in our year. I have some mates in the summer quidditch camp that I went to a few years ago." James glanced at me and the slight color in his cheeks was back. "I have you." He added, but in an unsure way as if he was looking for confirmation.

I couldn't have stopped the grin that hit my face if I tried. "Yes, you have me." I assured and nudged his arm slightly with my leg. "In a deeply surprising turn of events, I don't strongly dislike you as much as I thought I did."

He gave a small laugh and shook his head slightly. "What's so funny?" I questioned and tried not to focus on the tiny dimple he got on his right cheek whenever he smiled. Our fingertips were just barely touching and his hip was lightly pressed against my knee which proved to be equally as distracting.

"I just kind of thought I had you all figured out." James admitted. "But the more time I spend with you, the less I feel like I know you." He saw my frown of confusion and decided to elaborate a bit further.

"I used to see you as exactly who I had stereotyped you into being." He explained and I couldn't help but take note of the fact that if he moved his face even an inch closer then our noses would be touching. "I heard what you said at Hog's Head the other night. You're a person. And I really don't know why anyone would ever be embarrassed of a person like you."

It took me no more than a second to cross the small distance between us to kiss him. To my surprise, it took even less time for him to kiss me back. He did so without even the slightest hesitation and with more enthusiasm than I expected. My legs wrapped around him to tug his body even closer and he most definitely wasn't complaining about that. I dug my hands in his hair while his seemed to be everywhere at once. His mouth tasted unusually fruity and somewhere in the back of my mind wondered if he stole some of Fred's chapstick. I caught his bottom lip between my own and I bit down lightly causing him to make a noise that I never thought I'd hear James Potter make.

It was one of those snogs that started off slow but then built and built until you felt like you were going to explode from the heat of it. I couldn't get him close enough. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't think. I needed more of him. I needed all of him.

"So I was going to come in here to tell you to move on to Greenhouse Two when you two were done in here but I'm scared that if I leave you both alone any longer that Ginny will kill me for being responsible for her being a grandmother so young in life."

Though I barely registered the sound of Longbottom's voice, it was enough for us to break partially apart. We were both breathing so heavy it was like the air couldn't get to our lungs fast enough. My forehead was pressed against his and he was staring at me through half-lidded eyes.

We were both still frozen in place, hearts racing and skin on fire, either from the kiss or the embarrassment of getting caught. "Jordan, you can untangle your legs now and James you can get your hands out from under her skirt."

We finally jumped apart, this time so quickly it was like we had been electrocuted. Longbottom was leaning against the door to the greenhouse with his arms crossed. He looked as if he was trying to appear disapproving but I could tell he was actually thoroughly entertained.

"It's clear you're both not going to be able to focus on anything the rest of the night so let's just cut this short, yeah?" He suggested through a poorly hidden smirk.

We both kind of nodded because no words could come out. James held out his hand to help me down from the table. We caught eyes and I knew he was thinking what I was feeling. We had no idea what the hell this even meant. My mind was functioning but barely. If I was able to process anything, I would laugh at how ridiculous he looked. His hair was standing up every which way and his lips were bright red and significantly swollen, though I'm sure mine weren't much better.

"James, I'm going to escort you back to Gryffindor Tower mostly because I don't trust you two to not go find a random broom closet on your way back." He said and James tried to say something back but his response came out as kind of a hoarse sounding grunt. "Right." He then turned to me. "Jordan, I trust you'll be able to find your way back to your dorm?"

I managed a small nod and James casted one last look in my direction before Longbottom tugged him out of view. I had never been so fucked up after a kiss before. I was barely aware of my legs carrying me back to the dorms. I didn't know how it was possible to feel so numb yet so on fire at the same time.

It wasn't too late when I got back but the Slytherin common room was nearly empty. The exception to that being the last person in the world that I wanted to see lying on one of the couches. I should have known Cyrus would wait up for me. He had been doing so after any late night detentions of mine ever since second year.

It started after I took the blame for us attempting to sneak down to Hogsmeade without Peeves or knowledge of secret passageways on our side. McGonagall caught us before we even reached the Hogwarts gates. Cyrus was already on thin ice with Mitch from the week before for trying to blow up Molly Weasley's cauldron in Potions. He couldn't afford to get into any more trouble so I somehow managed to convince McGonagall that he had nothing to do with it. He felt guilty that I got a month's worth of detention for it and started waiting for me every night with a surprise in hand whenever I got back. When we were twelve, it was things like candy, joke store products, and butterbeer. The older we got, it became freshly rolled joints, booze, and sexual favors.

Tonight was no exception. As soon as he saw me, he sat up and tossed a metal flask in my direction. I caught it wordlessly. "I figured you'd need that after spending a few hours with Potter."

An inexplicable rush of heat spread across my body at the mention of James' name. "You alright? You look all flustered." He said and I avoided looking him in the eye. I didn't have the same stabbing feelings of hatred for him that I did this morning but then again, I couldn't feel anything except for the lingering burn on my lips from James.

"I'm fine." I said flatly. My voice sounded more hoarse than I was expecting it to. I think he thought it was because I had been crying or something because his expression instantly became angry and concerned.

"What did Potter say to you?" He asked, face instantly becoming red. I didn't like how he was so quick to jump down James' throat. I was very aware that he was looking for another excuse to punch James in the face as opposed to being actually concerned for my well being. "Are you sure you're alright?"

"I said I'm fine." I all but growled and tried to go past him to get up to my dorm but he grabbed my arm to stop me. I violently shook him off causing him to hold his hands up in surrender. I knew by the determined look on his face though that I wasn't going to get off that easy.

"What the hell is going on with you?" He questioned, his ice blue eyes trying desperately to read me in the way that they used to do with ease. But he didn't know me the way he used to just like I didn't know him.

"Nothing-" I began, my teeth gritted and my face longingly looking in the direction of my dorm.

"Don't lie to me, Jordan." I almost snorted at that. Him telling me not to lie was rich. It took everything in me not to roll my eyes.

"This is the second time you've snapped at me and you skipped all of your classes today. Hazel's been worried sick about you but is too scared to say anything to you. Silas said to leave you be but I need to know what's going on with you." He sounded frustrated but I couldn't find it in me to care. "Dammit, will you fucking look at me?" He demanded and I flinched at the harsh bite in his tone.

I finally turned my head to his. Despite the exasperation etched onto his face, I could see how concerned he was. Regardless of what he said the other night, I knew that he cared about me, which only made everything so much more difficult.

I was going to let it go eventually. Part of me knew that. There was nothing he could say that would erase all of our history and friendship. But I didn't trust him. I wouldn't ever trust him. At least not in the way I did before.

So I didn't say anything. I couldn't get words past the giant lump in my throat. I wasn't ready to talk to him and I certainly wasn't ready to forgive him just yet.

"You're kind of scaring the hell out of me, Mose." His voice was small and just barely there. The sound of it put another crack in my already collapsing frame. He looked like he wanted to reach out to me again but stopped himself when I took a step back.

I didn't want the feeling of James on my lips to be washed away with answering all of the questions on his face. Tonight was not the night for that and I didn't know when or if that night would ever happen. Without another word, I left him standing in the dimmed lighting of the common room alone. He let me go this time.