Chapter 11: The Concrete Grass of Home

Jordyn was off Daryl's bike as soon as they were safely back in the courtyard of Cell Block C. She jogged inside with the bag of baby formula following the sound of the baby's cries echoing through the halls. Jordyn sped up; at least the infant was still alive. Maggie was waiting at the gate when Jordyn and Daryl arrived in the cell block and slid open the door to let her through. Jordyn set her bag on the table and unpacked a tin of formula and an empty baby bottle. She poured some of the powder into the bottle and filled it up with water from her canteen then shook it until it combined.

Daryl took the bottle from Jordyn hands and took it to Carl. But instead of handing the boy the bottle like Jordyn thought he would do, Daryl took the baby from Carl's arms and began feeding her himself.

"There you go," Daryl smiled as he fed the baby. "That's better, huh?"

The sweetness of that action caught Jordyn off guard and she was struck with the feeling she might tear up. Marnie sidled up to Jordyn and took her hand. Jordyn leant and scooped her sister into her arms and hugged her close.

"She got a name yet?" Daryl asked Carl.

"Not yet. But I was thinking maybe Sofia. Then there's Carol, too. Andrea, Amy. Jacqui, Patricia, or Lori," the boy sighed and looked down at his feet. "I don't know."

Daryl began to sway back and forth while he fed the baby. "How about Lil' Asskicker?" The name was met with a round of smiles. "Yeah? You like that, baby? It's a good name, right? Lil' Asskicker."

That night was quiet. Beth took the baby with Marnie into Marnie's cell and set her up on Lori's bed, but everyone else just retreated to their cells. They were all fatigued. T-dog was dead, Carol was gone and no-one had seen Rick since he went storming back into the prison after Jordyn appeared with the baby. And Lori was still wherever she was, cut open and sprawled out half-naked on a cement floor.

Jordyn didn't really remember making her way to her cell; but she must have because she woke up there. The prison was quiet and settled in the way it could only be late at night. A heavy warmth crushed Jordyn's side, much too big to be Marnie. The bitter smell of cigarette smoke mixed with gasoline and sweat made Jordyn roll towards the warm body beside her. Daryl always seemed to find cigarettes, but Jordyn never saw him with a packet. He just carried them loose in his pockets or stuffed in the bag on the back of his bike.

He was asleep, Jordyn could tell by the evenness of his breathing. He was faced towards her on his side, and his arms were folded. He didn't look comfortable, but he could sleep anywhere. Jordyn shuffled down a little to be closer to him, leant over and kissed him. He woke, and pulled back a little, but then seemed to see her and allowed her to kiss him further. Jordyn reached her hands around his neck and pulled him against her. He smelled so good. A positive about his insistence on wearing basically the same shirt was that it was easy to get off. One of these days, it would just disintegrate off of his body. Jordyn squirmed out of her shirt and bra and pulled Daryl's bare chest down onto her own. She folded her arms across his back, and he hesitated - he always did - when she touched his scars. It was as if he were worried she would either recoil or question him about how he'd acquired them. Jordyn did neither, but she never let her hands linger on his scars too long. There was more of him to touch, anyway.

He pulled his mouth from hers and reached between them to roughly pulled down her jeans. Jordyn couldn't wriggle out of them completely, but she got one leg free and hooked it around Daryl's body. She gasped when he pushed himself inside of her, then clasped a firm hand around his neck, holding their bodies close. This feeling, this heated connection was something she'd not experienced before. His grunts were muffled deep in his throat, he was trying to keep quiet. The mattress springs squeaked under their movement. Had they been in a larger bed with fewer people sleeping nearby, Jordyn could only imagine the noise they would make. Daryl angled abruptly inside her making her cry out at the sudden rush of pleasure. She reached behind her head and grabbed the cold metal of the bunk bed ladder. The heat of his quickening breath against her face made Jordyn grip the ladder even tighter. She caught his mouth with her own and her body tensed. He was gruff, awkward and uncertain with his hands.

And he was perfect.

The piercing cry of the new baby woke Jordyn a few hours later. She was alone in bed, still half out of her jeans, and she could smell Daryl in the warmth of the blanket across her chest. Jordyn had to fight the desire to just fall back to sleep, and if it weren't for Lil' Asskicker making herself known she probably would have just flipped over and dozed off again. Jordyn stuffed her leg back into her jeans and quickly changed into a clean black singlet. She strapped her knife to her thigh and slid her gun into the back of her jeans, then she pulled on her boots and followed the cries to the cell next door.

Marnie was kneeling by the bottom bunk trying to soothe the baby. Marnie had created a nest for the infant with pillows and blankets. Jordyn peeked at the whinging baby. She was still pink, but much cleaner than she had been. And she was wearing a pink jumpsuit and wrapped in a soft white blanket, both items Jordyn recognised taking from Lilyrose day-care. The jumpsuit was a few sizes too big for the baby, her little legs were hidden inside the legs of the fabric, and the sleeves had to be rolled over and over on themselves to let her hands free.

Jordyn knelt by the bunk next to her sister and ran a hand through her hair. Marnie looked up at her, eyes drooping. Jordyn tilted Marnie's face up towards her so she could inspect her better.

"Have you slept?"

Marnie shook her head. "I didn't want to go to sleep in case the baby woke up."

Jordyn leant over and kissed Marnie's forehead. She reached over and scooped up the baby while telling her sister to take a nap. Marnie heaved herself up the ladder to her top bunk. The baby quieted a little as Jordyn walked her downstairs. She was so light, Jordyn couldn't remember Marnie or Connor being this light. But she was chubby, too. She looked healthy.

"You'll need a better name, soon," Jordyn said quietly. "With one misplaced letter you'll become the Asslicker. I do like Lil, though. Lil' Grimes."

Beth met Jordyn at the bottom of the stairs. She was shaking a baby bottle full of formula. "I was just coming up to feed her,."

"She can stay down here with us," Jordyn said. "Marnie's sleeping."

"Good, she needs it."

"Where's Rick?" Jordyn didn't know why she was keeping her voice low, but it seemed wrong to suddenly cut through the peace of the early morning.

"He hasn't come back yet."

Jordyn transferred the baby into Beth's arms. "He will."

Jordyn, Beth and the baby joined everyone else in the common space just through the Cell Block C gate. There were a handful of tables bolted to the floor, but almost everyone was eating breakfast around the one table. Daryl was eating on the stairs and Oscar was leaning on the rail beside him. Still quiet, Oscar was. But at least he was following the rules. Jordyn didn't see Axel.

"Want some oatmeal?" Maggie approached Jordyn with a plastic bowl in her hand. Tastes kinda old, but it's got a lot of sugar in it."

Jordyn thanked Maggie, took the bowl at sat at the table next to Hershel and Glenn. Beth sat across from her and fed the baby her bottle. It was screamingly obvious how few of them there were. Fewer plates, fewer voices chattering, fewer figures out of the corner of the eye. Jordyn had become used to seeing every one of her group in her peripheral vision. They stuck together, it was how they survived.

The squeal of the gate broke through Jordyn's daydream and suddenly Rick was there, all wide-eyed, pale and sweaty. He looked a strange mix of determined and unstable. He strode over to Carl and rested a hand on the boy's shoulder.

"Everybody okay?" Rick asked, staring at the ground.

"Yeah, we are," Hershel replied.. "What about you?"

"I cleared out the boiler block," Rick said.

Jordyn's ears pricked up; she had been planning to enlist Maggie to help clean out the boiler block that day. "How many were there?"

Rick didn't look her in the eye as he answered her. "I don't know. A dozen, two dozen. I have to get back. Just wanted to check on Carl."

Glenn rose from the table. "Rick, we can handle taking out the bodies," He said gently. "You don't have to."

"No, I do," Rick looked about ready to leave, but instead he turned strode right up to Daryl. "Everyone have a gun and a knife?"

Daryl nodded. "Yeah. We're running low on ammo, though."

"Maggie and me were planning on making a run this afternoon," Glenn said. "Found a phone book with some places we can hit, look for bullets and formula."

"We cleared out the generator room," Daryl told Rick. "Axel's there trying to fix it in case of emergency. We're gonna sweep the lower levels as well."

"Good, good." Rick abruptly turned and walked back to the gate. He didn't once look at the baby.

"Rick?" Jordyn called after him, but he didn't slow down. "Rick!" She called louder, but he slammed the gate shut and disappeared from her sight.

After breakfast, Jordyn helped Hershel clean the dishes and then took a bowl of oatmeal upstairs to Marnie. It would be cold by the time Marnie woke up, but she wouldn't complain. Jordyn set the bowl of oatmeal on the bottom bunk and then climbed halfway up the ladder to check her sister. Marnie was huddled into a ball clutching Elroy. She must have fallen asleep as soon as her head hit the mattress because her blanket was still bunched up at her feet. Jordyn pulled the blanket free and tucked it around Marnie's shoulders. She pushed aside the dirty blonde curls across her sister's forehead.

"Mama?" Marnie stirred, but didn't wake. "Lori?"

"It's okay, baby girl," Jordyn whispered. "Just sleep awhile."

"Hey."

Jordyn looked up to see Daryl standing in the doorway. He jerked his head to the side, gesturing her to come out into the hall. Jordyn hopped off the ladder and followed him out onto the balcony.

"I'm gonna take Carl and Oscar," He said. "Sweep the lower levels."

"Is that a good idea? Carl should take it easy."

"No good for him to just to sit around and think about his mother all day."

"I'll come with you."

Daryl shook his head and shouldered his crossbow. "Nah, stay with Marnie and Lil' Asskicker. We'll be back soon." He brushed past her and took off down the stairs.

Jordyn stayed on the balcony and watched Daryl gather Oscar and Carl together and lead them through the gate. She suddenly realized how much she didn't want to go with them, then heard a noise from the cell behind her.

"Mama?"

It was Marnie talking in her sleep. Jordyn turned and stood in the doorway watching Marnie toss and turn on the top bunk.

"Mama!" Marnie sat straight up. "Mama! Mama!"

Jordyn flew up the bunk ladder and pulled Marnie into her arms. "It's okay, it's okay. You were just having a bad dream."

"Lori's a walker!"

"Ssh, ssh."

"Everyone's dying," Marnie sobbed. "Carol's gone! Andrea's gone! We were supposed to be safe here. We're not safe anywhere."

Jordyn rocked her sister just as she had Lil' Asskicker, smoothed out her hair and rubbed her back. "Remember what I told you to do when you have a bad dream? Close your eyes and think of something nice."

"No," Marnie tried to wriggle out of her sister's grip. "I don't wanna sleep anymore."

"Just close your eyes," Jordyn tightened her arms around Marnie until she stopped squirming and sobbing, and eventually she fell back to sleep. Jordyn spread her out flat on her bed and laid down next to her. She began to hum a song, one of her mother's favourites. When both Connor and Marnie were infants, Olivia had sung them hit after hit by Cyndi Lauper to calm them down. As they aged, she continued to do so when they were sick or upset. Olivia once told Jordyn she did it because it had always worked on Jordyn when she was a baby. And even with almost twenty years between Olivia having Jordyn and then Connor and Marnie, Olivia still professed the soothing qualities of Cyndi Lauper's music.

With Lori taking care of Marnie so often in the past few months, Jordyn hadn't needed to hum her sister to sleep. It was something Jordyn realized she had taken for granted. She had taken Lori for granted. There she was, a pregnant mother who adored Marnie and had already raised a son Marnie's age. She had all that maternal nature stuff glowing from her skin. She was exactly who Marnie needed, and exactly who Jordyn needed to take care of Marnie.

Jordyn wasn't sure what song she was humming when she fell asleep, but she slept solidly for the rest of the day. It was the rusted whine of the gate downstairs that dragged Jordyn out of bed very early the next morning. Marnie was still asleep and making a very sweet little snoring sound. Jordyn managed to get out of the bunk without waking her and left the cell to peer over the railing.

Daryl was carrying Carol into Cell Block C.

Jordyn grabbed her backpack, ran down the stairs and followed him into Carol's cell. He lowered her down on her bed. Jordyn took a water bottle and washcloth out of her backpack and dropped to her knees beside Carol. "Is she bit?"

"No," Daryl grabbed a blanket off the top bunk and shook it out before laying it over Carol. "But she's exhausted."

"Carol?" Jordyn couldn't hide her smile as she dabbed Carol's grubby face with a damp rag. "Can you hear me?"

Carol's head rolled towards the sound of Jordyn's voice. "Mhhm?"

"You're okay," Jordyn wiped the dirt from her cheek. "We've got you."