Chapter Eleven

Twenty-Six Years Before

"Jimmy," moaned Kirstin as she kissed him passionately and shoved him back onto the couch. She quickly began to unbutton her blouse and slide it down the side of her body. It fell to the ground, revealing her plump, lucious breasts. Jimmy handled one of her breasts in the palm of his hands, letting his velvety tongue encircle it, go round and round, feeling Kirstin with a sense of pleasure.She wrapped her arms around his neck, letting him swallow her nipple deeper and deeper, the tip becoming hotter and harder, Kirstin moaning with excitement. "Jimmy," she moaned, quickly bending downwards to unbutton his shirt. She did it slowly, with care, kissing his chest as she sank lower and lower to his already hard erection. "Jimmy, I love you." She kissed belly button and then slowly began to unzip his jeans. His erection was hard against her body, and slowly, quickly, he began to grind against her. The friction was irritating, passionate, Kirstin could barely hold it in. She kissed him harder, reaching down to move his boxers away so that he could enter her. She quickly let him help her pull off her skirt, followed by her panties. He pushed her over onto the couch so that he could climb atop of her in one passionate, swift movement. Then they lay there like that for a few moments, kissing, before Jimmy began to enter her with a quick, passionate flame that burst as they climaxed, Kirstin moaning his name, Jimmy crying out for her, wanting to get closer to her, wanting to feel her, to hold her, to have her, to be further inside of her even though they were as close now as humanly possible.

"What would Sandy say about this?" Jimmy asked, a large smile on his face. He held her close to his body, her face resting on the hair of his chest.

"I don't want to think about him right now," sighed Kirstin, kissing a nipple on Jimmy's chest. "All I want is you."

"Stop dating him. Marry me." Jimmy tilted her face up by cupping his hand under her chin.

"I love him, though," said Kirstin softly.

"What about this? If you love him, why are you with me?"

Kirstin lay there for a moment in thought. Finally, she said, "Because I love you, too."

A Week Later

Kirstin sat across from Jimmy at the coffee house, wondering how to say it. She didn't want it to sound so abrupt. She didn't want him to have a heart attack and fall on the floor moaning and groaning and ready to die. So she just sat there for a few seconds, thinking. Finally, she began to speak. "Is it evil to have a baby out of wedlock? I know that the bible says that you can't, but I have been thinking about this: if I did, would I go to Hell? I mean, I can be forgiven, right? Or is this one of those sins that is like unforgivable or whatever?"

Jimmy shook his head and laughed. "Why are we talking about having babies out of wedlock, Kirstin?" That was when it suddenly hit him. That quick impacted rush, the wave of realization. "Oh my God...you're pregnant aren't you?"

Kirstin lowered her head, stirring in some sugar with her coffee. "Yes...I'm sorry."

"What should we do...oh God...my life is over..."

Kirstin's head jerked up and her eyes met with Jimmy. "What are you talking about? Just because we're having a baby your life is over? What about my life, Jimmy? You can leave me, run off, go anywhere. I will be stuck here for at least nine months with this baby, this thing, this sovegnier that you left me with. How do you think that makes me feel, huh? How do you think that will help my life? Will that help my social standing? Huh? Huh?"

"Calm down, Kirstin. There are several options."

"Like what? What am I going to do? Fall down a flight of stairs in order to have a miscarraige and hope I don't break my neck?"

"No, Kirstin." Jimmy paused for a second. "I'm talking about abortion."

"How dare you talk about abortion! About killing a harmless baby--"

"You were talking about having a miscarraige for god's sake!"

"I was being sarcastic."

They both sat there, glaring at each other, thinking what to do.

"Is it too late to have an abortion?" asked Jimmy.

"How should I know? Do you think that I've been plundering about this for the past week? Wondering, 'Is it too late to have an abortion?' Dear God, Jimmy. I am not as cold-hearted as you are."

"Don't call me cold hearted!"

"You are you son of a bitch! You want to take a fucking human life!"

"Well maybe you should have thought about all of this before you threw yourself at me!"

In rage, Kirstin stood and threw the chair over. It smashed on the ground, breaking off a leg. She stormed out of the coffee place, leaving Jimmy sitting at the table in awe.

Two Months Later

Jimmy sat outside the waiting room, thinking about his life. It was over if he had to keep this baby. Over. Kirstin was inside the office talking with the doctor and the adoptive couple. He prayed that these people would want this baby. He prayed with all of his heart and soul and mind and body and thought that if he could get out of this he would thank God everyday and pray every morning and every night and at every meal and at every hour of every fucking day.

That was when the door opened.

The couple hurried outside of the office and down the hall.

And Kirstin came out with a sad look on her face. A look of dread and terror and remorse and hate and fear and anger and solitude and heartbrokeness.

Oh no, thought Jimmy. They don't want the baby. They don't want the baby.

"What happened?" asked Jimmy.

"They're adopting her." Kirstin sat down beside him, staring off into nothingness.

"Her?"

"Yes," said Kirstin, still not looking at him or showing an ounce of emotion. "Our baby is a girl."