Author's Note:
hey you guys! im sooooooooo sorry for the very long update! i really, really, REALLY am... so, instead of reading this author's note, why dont you read the story that i know you guys adore. :D
Disclaimer: i do not own the copyright to the Chronicles of Narnia. i do not own any dialouge that has been used in the movie. i sadly and aboslutely do not own Skandar Amin Casper Hourani Keynes.
Susan didn't take the time to look at the crew watch her; she just ran. She could tell someone was following her, she heard her name multiple times. But the fact they were calling her didn't make her falter a step. She continued to run, pushing past the trees and the thick foliage. She had to realize it at some point, didn't she? She had to realize that Caspian wasn't going to love her forever… or for as long as they were there; she had to have realized that the time would come. The tears blurred her vision, falling fast like a horrid rainstorm. She finally entered a clearing, coming upon the shore and the ship. She took in deep breaths and pressed a hand to her heart, trying to regulate the oxygen making their way into her lungs. The tears plummeted down her cheeks as she dropped to the sandy floor. She tucked her knees to her chest, sobbing into her knees and her lap. She heard people pushing through the foliage and the rough beating of a dragon's wings, but she didn't even bother to turn. She felt strong arms envelop her and she looked up, looking into the colt blue eyes of her older brother. She looked all around her and found Lucy, Rylie and Aleeah. Susan cuddled into Peter's embrace, sobbing into his shoulder. Lucy watched heartbroken and sat down by her sister, hugging her from the back.
"I'm so sorry, Susan. I'm so sorry," Lucy said as she soothed her sister. Susan cried violently, clutching onto her siblings like she was going to lose them forever.
"Sh… sh…" said Peter, rubbing Susan's back, trying to calm her down. He didn't blame Caspian for saying it; Liliandil was indeed beautiful and kind. But when it came to his sisters' feelings, he chose them over any woman. The only thing Peter blamed Caspian for was that he didn't consider that Susan was still there.
Aleeah and Rylie just stood there watching them. Rylie still understood Aleeah was hiding on the inside; he knew her friend inside and out. The first stage would be pure shock, which involved the biting of the lip or the nail. The second stage would then be anger and frustration, where she could snap at anyone at any minute. While she would be at that stage, Rylie would try and stay away from her as far as possible. The third stage was to forget it ever happened; in other words it would be when she's pretending she's fine. The fourth and final stage would be when she finally broke down, where she would cry to him or Caspian. In this case, she was just finishing stage three.
Rylie watched his friend's emotions and also watched as she sat down in the sand next to them. She looked at the Pevensies and then out to sea. Rylie sat next to her, letting the crash of the water crashing onto the shore resemble the peacefulness of the place. Aleeah looked down onto her lap, and a tear fell down just as she closed her eyes. Stage four had finally arrived. She tucked her knees into her chest and cried. Rylie kept quiet. He patted Aleeah's back, wondering what he could do to help ease both of the girls' pain.
Eustace watched the two girls crying, feeling a sudden change of heart for his cousins and the Narnians. Being a dragon really helped and he was able to see a few things from different perspectives. He was beginning to like his cousins more and more with each day that passed. As for Caspian, Rylie, and Aleeah, he was beginning to think of them as friends; the only ones he ever had. As he watched them, only one thought kept going through his mind: Caspian and Edmund messed up big time.
Once everyone (or the crew) had eaten properly and were satisfied, they once again set for sail. Susan and Aleeah were locked up in their sleeping quarters, not bothering to come out unless needed. Susan just lied in the bed, looking up at the ceiling and the fireplace, even if it didn't contain any fire. Aleeah just lied down on where she slept her arm behind her head and her other hand lying atop her stomach. They both had blank expressions with nothing to talk about.
While they did that for the past few days to the journey to Dark Island, Caspian, Edmund, Peter, Rylie, and Lucy have been in the meeting room, discussing many things. Once in a while they would discuss what would happen inside Dark Island and the possibilities of how they would handle it. Most of the time, Caspian and Edmund were trying to get the three to tell them what was wrong with Susan and Aleeah. During conversations like that, Rylie and Peter were yelling at Caspian and Edmund while Lucy just sat watching the transaction. She wasn't afraid of the yelling; the only thing she feared was that they'd end up punching each other. Today, in fact, was one of those days.
"What happened back at Ramandu's Island with Susan?" asked Caspian who was worried. He tried talking to Susan every chance he got when she came outside, but she always ignored him and basically ran back downstairs.
"What happened with Aleeah?" asked Edmund. He too was worried. He usually spent every moment of his time with her, but the fact that she was avoiding him and fiercely angry with tinges of sadness made him suffer from agony. He didn't like what was happening between the four of them. Edmund wasn't able to talk to Susan and Aleeah didn't talk to Caspian. Both of the girls were ignoring only Caspian and Edmund.
"What happened? What happened?" Rylie asked incredulously while raising his voice.
"Calm down, Rylie," Lucy said, sitting on the counter by the pictures of the lords.
"Take the time to think of what you had done back at the island. Retrace your actions and words," said Peter. He stood against a pillar, his arms crossed very tightly.
"How do we do that? We did a lot of things!" exclaimed Edmund who threw his hands up into the air.
"No, we didn't," said Lucy. "You may think we did, but we just did a few simple things. List them; list what we did."
"Well," said Caspian whose heart was aching with every beat, "I remember walking onto the island and standing before Aslan's Table."
"Good start; keep speaking," said Lucy who was as calm as ever.
"Then we found out that three of the lords were there in a deep sleep. We placed six of the swords on the table and then… and then…" drifted Edmund's voice.
"Then what?" Lucy persisted, trying to get him to say it.
"Liliandil came… and we… spoke to her," explained Edmund slowly.
"Yes…" continued Lucy.
"And then she showed us Dark Island then she left," Edmund said plainly. "I still don't see what went wrong."
Lucy groaned and let her head fall back and hit the wall. Rylie smacked his head while Peter just shook his head and sighed.
"Retrace a few steps back," said Rylie, as he ran his hand through his hair.
"Liliandil left?" asked Edmund.
"No," said Peter.
"She showed us Dark Island."
"No," said Lucy.
"We spoke to Liliandil," suggested Caspian.
"Somewhere around there," said Rylie.
"By Aslan's Mane, what did we do!" exclaimed Edmund.
"THINK! THINK!" the three shouted at them.
"Wait," said Caspian, "It's what Edmund and I said to Liliandil isn't it?"
"And we have a champion!" exclaimed Rylie with sarcasm dripping from his voice.
"Just because we spoke to Liliandil, they're angry at us?" asked Edmund; the three just nodded their heads.
"I don't get it," started Caspian, "How is it possible that Susan and Aleeah are mad at Edmund and me, but not you, Peter?"
"Think," was the only thing the three had said.
"Can you stop saying 'think'?" Edmund exclaimed. "I don't get why they would be mad at us for talking to Liliandil… we all basically talked to her."
"Think about what you said," answered Lucy. "Think about your reactions and your choice of words."
"I can't really remember anything about it…" answered Caspian shamefully.
"You can remember… all you have to do is concentrate," answered Rylie.
Suddenly there was a knock on the door. "Come in," said Lucy, rolling her eyes at the idiocy of Caspian and Edmund.
The door opened slowly and hesitantly, as if the person entering didn't feel like coming into the room. But the door opened anyway and Susan stepped into the room. Caspian immediately stood up, his heart racing. They all looked at her, and it was dead silent in the room. Susan didn't look like herself. Her eyes were red and slightly puffy. Her brown wavy hair fell down her back and was left in very lush waves. Her skin had turned slightly paler and her blue eyes had lost their shine. She wrung her hands, already feeling nervous about being in the room.
"Do you need something, Su?" asked Peter.
"I was just wondering whether we still had some spiced wine and some fruit," she replied. Caspian watched her form, trying to read her emotions.
"Of course," said Rylie, "May I ask why?"
"Well… Aleeah and I were getting a little hungry. Plus, Aleeah isn't feeling too well," she replied quietly and awkwardly.
Edmund's head snapped up instantly. "How?" he asked. Susan looked at him for just a mere second before looking at everyone else.
"She's just hungry," Susan said. "A little sea-sickness is all, but nothing bad."
"I was wondering when that would come," mumbled Rylie.
Everyone looked at him. "What? Aleeah gets sea-sick sometimes," he said.
"But anyway, can anyone tell me where it is?" Susan asked, disregarding what Rylie had just said.
"It's just down by the crew's sleeping quarters," replied Lucy.
"Thank you." Susan reached the door before Caspian had stopped her.
"Susan," he said, making her turn towards him. She looked in his eyes, but tried not to. "Love, tell me what's wrong."
"If I'm your 'love' you wouldn't have done or said any of those things that night," she said coldly. Tears were starting to form and they fell down her cheeks. Caspian moved to brush one away before she pulled back. "Now I know that I'm not the one… you just waited until someone better came." With that said, she left the room, leaving a very awkward silence.
Caspian let out a faltering sigh, looking to his friends. He too had tears forming in his eyes. His heart was wrenching and his soul was dying. He couldn't live like this anymore; he couldn't live without talking to her. Caspian won't let her go.
He looked to the ground, his hair covering his face. "What did we do?" he asked quietly. Lucy, Peter, and Rylie looked at each other. "What did we do?" he repeated, looking up at them with tears actually falling.
Lucy's heart broke and she moved to hug him. He accepted her hug, embracing her tightly. Edmund couldn't stop thinking about the Telemarine Knight. He just had to know she was okay. "We made a huge mistake, didn't we?" said Edmund.
Rylie looked at him and nodded slowly. "Just tell us… please," pleaded Edmund.
Lucy looked at Rylie and Peter and sighed.
"Recall someone saying this: "You are most beautiful."" quoted Rylie.
"And that same person uttered these words: "I hope we meet again."" said Peter.
Edmund and Caspian were beginning to think, their minds reeling and beginning to understand.
"One of you said these words and I quote, "I think we would prefer if you stay in your human form. Not only is it more comfortable… it is indeed nice to see your beauty." Those words certainly made one break down," replied Lucy.
Caspian was beginning to understand faster than Edmund. "Susan… she thought that I was falling in love with Liliandil, didn't she?"
Lucy only nodded. Caspian's head was spinning and his heart was beating erratically. He couldn't believe it; all this time it had just been that. It was plain and simple and yet that thought never came into his mind. Rylie, Peter, and Lucy now looked towards Edmund, who was still figuring it out.
"If Susan thought Caspian was falling for Liliandil… did Aleeah think the same for me?" asked Edmund.
"Not exactly, but you're getting close," said Rylie. Edmund rolled his eyes.
"If that's not it than what is it?"
"Didn't you ever realize that out of all the men she has known, you're probably the only one to fancy her for herself? Not for her looks, not for her status, just for her. Didn't you realize the fact that she fancies you just as much as you fancy her?" Lucy asked. Edmund thought on it a little.
"Edmund… there aren't many guys like you back home when it comes to her. And the fact that she actually lets you borrow her best sword tells something," sighed Caspian as he came to a realization as well.
"She thought you were falling for her like she fell for you. But then, Liliandil came and this happened… and I say this to both of you," Rylie said strongly.
"Susan is my sister and Aleeah is as well as one now. We have seen what they have been through these past few days. I suggest you two fix this fast before we end up leaving," said Peter.
"Leaving?" asked Lucy. "You don't think-"
"It's bound to happen, Lu. But we'll have to wait until that moment actually comes," he responded.
"I don't want to think about that just now," said Edmund looking down. "I just want my friendship with Aleeah to be fixed."
"Don't we all?" asked Rylie.
Later that day, Susan and Aleeah actually decided to stop moping around and decided to walk around the deck. Susan took the time to sit with her sister and have a sisterly conversation, all while sewing. Susan also told Gael a few of their adventures from the Golden Age; the young girl enjoyed it even though she would be told before she fell asleep. Aleeah was talking to Rylie and Reepicheep, smiling while talking to them. She sharpened her swords, which was somewhat concerning Rylie. Reepicheep decided to do the same, in which all three of them ended up talking about battles.
Peter was with Edmund and Caspian, who were still a bit sulky about Susan and Aleeah. He tried to cheer them up as best as he could, they just wouldn't budge. They just watched out for Dark Island and talked over things that would happen in there.
Soon, dusk came and they stayed well away from the island at that time. They attempted to sleep that night, but they all stayed up in fear and in determination. They anxiously waited for dawn to approach them, waiting to be able to stay away from the dark. As soon as light appeared through the window, even the smallest bit of light, Susan ran out of the room and onto the deck. Aleeah and Lucy watched her run out, but they didn't bother to follow her; they knew she just wanted to escape the awkward air of the room.
Susan stood by the head of the ship, breathing deeply and calmly. She was just fine now, and she could say that with all the pride she could muster. She had to accept it someday, didn't she? And that day was the day they met Liliandil. She knew it would be coming, and she knew that someday she'd have to let go; the only thing she didn't understand is why it had to come so soon. But she was fine; she was just fine that she could face anything.
"Susan?"
She turned around, seeing him there standing before her. He looked slightly confused and hurt, but then he also looked a tad hopeful. She gave a real small smile, but it wasn't the best she could have done.
"Are you alright, Susan?" he asked, concerned. She just nodded, not daring to speak. She didn't know how, but she could sense the tears coming to her eyes. She hadn't even done anything but they were coming fast.
"Are you sure?" he asked.
"I'm fine, Caspian," she said sharply, trying to prevent the gasp of sobs from being heard. Caspian was taken aback by the tone, but nodded.
There was silence, a dead awkward silence. No one talked, they just looked everywhere except the other. Caspian so badly wanted to talk, he was just so afraid. He didn't want to hurt her again; he just wished everything would be okay.
"Susan, can we just talk… please?" he asked a little desperately. She looked at him, her expression slightly blank.
"We are talking, aren't we?" she replied. Caspian sighed and shook his head.
"That's not what I meant."
"If you're talking about what happened on Ramandu's Island, there is nothing to talk about," she said sharply.
"Susan, please listen-"
"Caspian, I understand if you love her now. It was bound to happen at some point. I just wish I had braced myself for the pain."
"No, that's not-"
"You don't have to say sorry. It's I who should be blamed… I don't blame you for thinking that she's beautiful; she is indeed. I just wish-"
"Susan, can you please just listen to me!" exclaimed Caspian. She stopped her talking, looking at him. Tears fell down her cheeks, but she looked at him with strong eyes. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I don't love Liliandil. I don't love her, I love you. I don't want to love anyone except you. If you were to leave Narnia once again, I wouldn't marry because my wife wouldn't be you. She is beautiful, but your beauty is indescribable."
She breathed out and a slight smile took her face. But she was slightly confused, and she somehow doubted his words.
"You will eventually have to marry if I leave," she said, not looking at him.
"I don't care if they force me to. I will tell them I won't marry. I'd rather have you in my life than marry a stranger," he said truthfully, his eyes pleading.
She looked down, swallowing hard. She sighed before looking back up at him. She closed her eyes, tears trailing farther down her face.
"I can't pretend to be fine when your words still hurt," she said. "I can't pretend that I don't care about your judgment. I love you just as much as you love me; but I'm not going to go through that again next time we encounter another beautiful woman."
Caspian's heart sank but he kept a strong composure. "Susan-"
"Caspian, no matter how many times you may say it… how am I to know that you'll find someone better? How am I to know that it won't occur again?" she asked with tears falling. "I can't risk it too fast."
Caspian looked down, his heart breaking more and more.
"I know you mean well… and I know you never meant to hurt me… but I think I just need some time," she responded. Caspian's heart stopped and his tears were beginning to blur his vision. The sun was rising and Susan saw his tears. She said nothing more and ran back to the room where they rested. She saw Rylie, Peter, Lucy, Edmund, and Aleeah on deck, watching the scene. She stopped and looked at them, before swiftly walking away.
Susan lied on the bed and cried, not only with sadness but with frustration. She was sad that she didn't accept what Caspian had just told her, and she was frustrated that he still said those words. Her heart was splitting and being torn, but not from Caspian. She was torn from all these situations.
Caspian turned around to see everyone looking at him. He looked down before looking back up at them. He could already tell that Edmund, Rylie, Peter, and Lucy felt terrible for him, but what he didn't expect was that Aleeah had forgiven him. He watched as his friend walked up to him and hugged him, not smacking him or threatening him. He hugged her back, crying into her shoulder. She stroked his back, holding onto him and being the best friend she was.
The sun had risen fully and was high in the sky. Aleeah had forgiven Caspian, though she had not pardoned Edmund. She continued to give him the cold shoulder. And he couldn't take it anymore. He missed her presence, he missed their conversations. He missed her.
Aleeah was walking down the hall, trying to get up the stairs. That is, until she felt a hand on her wrist.
"Caspian, I'm fine, trust me," she said, not bothering to turn her head.
"It's not Caspian."
Aleeah turned around and saw the Just King. She sighed in annoyance and tried to walk away.
"Aleeah, can you just listen to me?" he asked, pulling her towards him.
"There's nothing TO listen to," she replied, trying to get away.
"Yes there is. Just let me explain," he pleaded.
"Explain what?" she asked, turning on him. "What is there that you must explain to me?"
"About what happened with Liliandil-"
"What about her?" she asked, sharply. "All I need to know about her is that she is very kind, generous, and… gorgeous."
Edmund heard jealousy in her voice and found his sources. She was jealous. He could hear a nice and kind voice when Aleeah described her, but the last part he heard jealousy.
"You need to know what I think and what happened," he responded.
"No, I don't need to know. What you think about her and what happened are things that you must keep to yourself."
"No, you must know."
"No I don't!" and she started to walk away.
"Aleeah just listen to me! Don't make me use it as a command," Edmund said sternly. Aleeah huffed and turned around.
"What is it? What is it that you want to explain?" she said, crossing her arms.
"Let me explain what happened back at the island-"
"I'm already listening about what happened at the island," said Aleeah.
He looked at her with a stern look while she looked at him with a cross one. He sighed and said, "I'm sorry if I made you feel jealous."
She scoffed immediately. "Jealous?" she asked in a shrill voice. "You think I was jealous?"
"Well, if you weren't jealous, explain to me why you have such a high-pitched voice," said Edmund. She had a look of defeat in her eyes before she started a different tactic.
"Explain to me why you think I was jealous," she said in a strong voice. Though it was strong, it was wavering. Edmund looked at her, his eyes also showing defeat. Aleeah smirked in accomplishment. "See," she said, "my point exactly."
She started to walk away before Edmund took her hand and brought her back to him. She turned around too fast and ended up exactly in his arms. She looked up at him and he looked down at her. She was biting her lip again, which was driving him crazy. She looked away from his gaze and tried to get out of his grip, but he didn't let go.
"Edmund, let me go," she said.
"Just hear me out, Aleeah," he replied.
"Why should I? So that I can get hurt like Susan did and you'll get hurt like Caspian? You saw what happened out there with Susan and Caspian. You saw how they both got hurt. I don't want either of us to be hurt, especially you." She stood up, but a few feet away from him.
"Why is it "especially me"? What about your feelings?" Edmund asked.
"I'm used to getting hurt, though it may not be in this sort of fashion. I just… please, don't make us go through what Susan and Caspian are going through. I don't want to lose our friendship." And she started to walk away.
"You don't want to lose our friendship you say? Then why are you ignoring me? Why are you giving me the cold shoulder?" he asked incredulously.
"What makes you say I'm ignoring you?" she asked turning back.
"The fact that you didn't want to speak to me just moments ago makes me say that. The fact that you haven't been talking to me for days makes me say that. You never want to even see me anymore. Why are you doing this if you don't want to lose our friendship?"
"It's just…" she paused. "I just need some time to let some emotions pass by and forget. I need you to understand that."
"Well, I can't understand if we don't talk about it."
She glared at him, her teeth piercing her lip. "You want to know? Fine, I'll tell you. While you and Caspian were off being amazed by Liliandil, guess what Susan and I were doing. That's right; we were crying our hearts out. You want to know why? Our hearts were broken by two of the most insufferable, though I must say very kind and generous, men I have ever met. How would you feel if you were in our place?"
Edmund looked at her, and saw actual tears. The rims of her eyes were slightly puffy and up close, he could see the slight pinkness of her eyes. She backed up a bit; she knew he saw. Her lips were slightly parted and she looked down. "How would you feel if you realized someone you loved developed feelings for another?"
Edmund looked up at her. "What if they didn't develop other feelings? What if it was just… what if it was just a onetime deal?"
Aleeah looked up at him. "What do you mean?"
"Of course we thought she was beautiful, but that doesn't mean we fell for her."
Aleeah looked a little doubtful of his words. "If you didn't fall for her, why did you look like you have never even seen a girl with such beauty before?"He sighed and ran a hand through his hair that ended at the back of his neck.
"We have seen women with such beauty; why do you think Caspian looks at Susan so often and me with you?" Aleeah looked at him when he said that last part. His cheeks flushed pink. "I… uh… um… I mean-"
"It's okay," she smiled, "I get it."
"You do?"
"Well… bit by bit," she said. They slightly laughed.
"Well, sure, we were shocked by her beauty, but remember, this has been the first time we have ever seen a star," said Edmund.
"I bet that this first star made a lasting impression," she mumbled. Edmund looked at her, but she was looking down. He used his index finger and lifted her chin upward so that he could see her face.
"For the first time of seeing a star, it did make an impression." Aleeah turned her head. "But I meeting you and Caspian meeting Susan made an impression that will last for a life time," Edmund said. Aleeah looked at him.
She slightly smiled. "Caspian and I don't like Liliandil. We have our hearts set on some other fine ladies of Narnia," Edmund continued to say.
Aleeah looked away, and Edmund saw that she was blushing furiously. He smiled. "Are we okay now?"
She sighed, and looked up at him. She nodded and bit her lip while smiling. "I suppose so."
Edmund smiled brightly, his eyes lighting up. He pulled her in for a hug which she returned graciously. They stood like that for a moment before Rylie walked into the hallway. He looked between them, confused as to what happened. Aleeah and Edmund pulled away, realizing that Rylie was looking at them.
"What happened?" he asked.
"Nothing happened Rylie," said Aleeah. "Can't friends hug each other?" She walked past Rylie and patted him on the head. She walked away and back up to the deck, a bright smile on her face. Rylie looked at Edmund, whose eyes were shining brightly and had a slightly dazed look on his face.
"What's wrong with you?" asked Rylie, his face looking amused.
Edmund looked at him and smiled. "She's not mad anymore."
Susan remained in the room, thinking about pros and cons. She listed reasons why loving Caspian was good and then she came up with reasons that were bad. The only things she could put in the cons were the fact that he could find someone else and that she might have to leave, meaning that they wouldn't be together. That was it, but in her pros section, she had more than enough that would prove sufficient.
"Loving him will only lead to pain and hurt. I mean, he will always be able to find someone better, and there is the fact that I could be leaving again… and this time it will be permanent. It will only hurt not only me, but him as well. If the words he say are true, then he'll be suffering just as I have," thought Susan as she looked at her cons.
"Yet there are so many pros! He is the only man that considers not only the outside of me, but the inside as well. He actually listens to me, unlike some of the men that I've met. He considers my opinion in things, and is fine if I disagree with something. He accepts me for who I am; he doesn't force me to be someone I don't want to be. Although he appreciates my status, he sees me as… well me. Not Queen Susan the legendary monarch. He sees me as Susan Pevensie, the girl from Finchley. He is sweet and caring, not to mention gorgeously handsome! He is intelligent… and just so deep. He has a way with wording. He lost his accent… but it's not that bad. Being surrounded by Narnians tends to do that to one. He is generous… which is unlike some men I know. He considers my intelligence, and knows that I am not just some girl that "needs" protecting. He is well aware of how well I can protect myself, thank you very much. But, then again… he does it for my well being... because he loves me…"
Susan looked down into her lap, a tear slipping past her eyes. She knew he loved her… she just didn't want that feeling of being broken again. She looked back at her pros, looking at them with slightly furrowed eyebrows.
"He married no one because he loved me. He didn't marry for three years because of me… and because of me; he wouldn't get married at all.
"But remember? He was staring at Liliandil! He said "You are most beautiful" to her! How am I going to know that he won't stare at other beautiful women?
"He won't stare because his heart is committed to me! What if he was just shocked by her beauty?
"What about her beauty? He didn't say that to me when we first met…
"But he did do a double-take… and looked awestricken.
"He did that with her as well…
"He said that my siblings and I are nothing like he expected… and wasn't he the one that wished we had more time together?
"Yes… but-"
While Susan was debating in her head, Caspian was in the meeting room. He sat in one of the chairs, twirling a thorn-less rose. In fact, it was a white rose, which happened to be Susan's favorite. Caspian didn't remember bringing them on board, but he remembered seeing it next to his hammock when he woke up. He always had a white rose by him since Susan came on board, though he never knew why. Like it was mentioned before, he didn't know or even remember how white roses came aboard. He thought back through events of when they stopped on land, but remembered nothing of the sort of bringing white roses. But then he remembered it was Susan who brought it on board... and the memory that came along with it.
Caspian had been making sure that everyone on Coriakin's Island made it back onto the longboats. He noticed that Susan was nowhere to be found. So he told Peter that he'd be back. He looked around for Susan through the foliage and Coriakin's garden. There, he found her holding a basket full of white roses.
"Susan? What are you doing?" asked Caspian as he smiled.
She looked up at him. "I'm just picking flowers. It's been a while since I've last done this."
"Yes, but we are about to leave."
"I know. I'll be there in a minute."
She turned around to continue picking as Caspian watched her. Her passion for finishing something always amazed Caspian. The thought of finishing something strangely reminded him of her leaving. It was as if she wanted to finish her adventure by giving him a kiss. Bittersweet, but magical. He was about to turn around and head towards the ship, but he looked over his shoulder to see her still picking and humming. He smiled and walked up next to her.
She smiled up at him and continued picking. He started picking up some, placing them gently in the basket. He saw her slightly blush as their hands brushed up against each other. He smiled and continued. The more he picked, the closer he got to her. He was close enough to smell pomegranates and apple blossoms.
"What's the significance of white roses? There are tons of flowers around," said Caspian.
"Oh… well, white roses happen to be my favorite," she replied, tucking her hair behind her ear.
"Really? Well, these are quite beautiful… like you," he said as he placed a shortened white rose behind her ear. She smiled and blushed.
"Thank you," she whispered and she continued to pick.
"Why are they your favorite?"
"For many reasons. For example, they are a symbol of innocence and purity."
"Like you."
Susan laughed. "If you say so."
They both laughed. "But they are also a symbol of secrecy. I am a woman of many secrets."
Caspian smiled. And she continued. "They used to be a sign of love, but not just petty love. It was a sign of true love. Later then, red roses became the symbol of love. And white roses are mostly used at weddings. I hope to use it one day besides just making the house or anything look elegant."
"It makes you look elegant. And lovely," said Caspian. Her bright ocean blue eyes sparkled and her cheeks flushed.
"What? It's true," said Caspian who smiled.
"In your opinion. But to me… I don't know."
"Susan, you're beautiful in every way possible. Not only on the outside, but your personality and your grace are stunning as well. No matter what anyone says or even if you doubt yourself, you're a bloody striking person."
Susan laughed. "I'm sure if Peter heard you say that, he'd kill you."
"I'm pretty sure too. That's why he's far away."
"Hey guys?"
"I spoke too soon," said Caspian.
Susan laughed and they both looked towards Peter. "Yes Peter?"
"We're leaving. We should go," he replied.
"Alright, just one more flower," said Susan. She leaned to pick a flower and placed it in Caspian's hands. She smiled at him and then walked off, following Peter. He blushed lightly and smiled at the white flower. He too, followed them to the ship.
He remembered it vividly, like it was just yesterday. He sighed; he couldn't believe this was how the voyage ended up being. He just couldn't believe it. With Susan around, he thought it would be great. But now… he just screwed it up for himself. He closed his eyes, sighing. He wished she wasn't mad at him. He tried to explain it to her that she could never love Liliandil like he loved her. He didn't expect her to take it and twist it around. He just wanted her to take it in and forgive him.
His heart ached. He had seen Aleeah and Edmund talking again, and they weren't arguing! They were smiling, even laughing for that matter! He was jealous of their repaired relationship. He got up and decided to talk to Susan again. He had to explain it thoroughly and properly. He was going to fix this; no matter what, he was going to fix this.
He walked out of the meeting room and headed to what was supposed to be his sleeping quarters. He mustered his courage and knocked on the door. No one replied.
"Susan?" he called. He knocked once again, but no one replied. "Susan, please open up. Susan?"
He entered the room, but found it empty. He looked around, wondering where Susan could've gone. But on the desk, he found a piece of paper with her handwriting on it. He noticed it was a pros and cons list. He saw very rare cons- at least two cons. As he looked at the pros, Susan entered the room quietly. They both looked up at the same time, realizing who else was in the room. Her eyes widened when she saw the list in his hands. She looked between him and the list. Her intention was to run out, but then Caspian shut the door before she could escape.
"Susan-"
"No, Caspian. I told you, I need time."
"You've had hours of time. Please, can we just talk about it?"
"No, we can't. I can't-"
"I know… you can't bear the pain of your heart being broken again. But neither can I Susan. Please, can we just talk again, so that it isn't awkward?"
Susan looked at him, seeing his plea in his eyes. She sighed and sat down on the bed. "What? Why do you want to talk to me this badly?"
"Susan, you have to understand that I don't love Lilian-"
"We're back on that, are we?" she said a little harshly. She saw the hurt in his eyes and she softened her voice. "There's nothing to discuss about that. Once I leave, you're going to go back to Ramandu's Island, retrieve Liliandil, and marry her. You'll end up marrying at some point, even if it is not her."
"But it's not going to be because I don't love them," he replied.
"Yes, but you WILL learn to love whoever it is. You'll have a kid… a kid that won't be mine…"
She looked at the ground, and he looked at her. She wiped her eyes. She looked up at him. "I'm not going to be waiting here forever, Caspian. I know you know that."
"When are you going to realize that just because we are worlds apart, I will always love you?" asked Caspian all of a sudden. She stared at him. "When are you going to realize that I've waited three years to get married? I've had ladies from all over approach me for an approval of marriage, but I said no. I've said no all these years. Do you know what I've gone through in the years that you left? Did Aleeah tell you?"
She shook her head. She didn't recall Aleeah saying anything about the years with Caspian.
"I was a mess without you… For a while, I didn't walk out of my room. I didn't eat, I rarely slept." He walked back and forth the room. "When I finally did get out of my room, Aleeah and Rylie were concerned for my well-being. I was pale. I had dark circles under my eyes, and my eyes were red. I was unhealthily skinny. I finally decided then that I should do something. I mean, you fought so that I could rule like a King, not like a pansy. I've spent all my time dying inside, when I should be living. I started eating again, I tried to sleep. You always appeared in my dreams, and if something horrible happened in the dream, I immediately woke up. I stopped crying… but my heart ached every single minute of every day. When I was looking up documents with Aleeah and Rylie, Aleeah had said I lost the shine in my eyes. My smile had been hidden for weeks, for months. I was a whole different person without you. There were nights when I couldn't stop crying. Aleeah and Rylie would come into my room and be there for me. The people were becoming concerned. It was different; my life was different without you in it. You are the sun in my life. Without the sun, I'm dead."
Tears had been rolling down Susan's cheeks. Caspian looked at her, his eyes getting cloudy with tears. "I need you, Susan. You say that I will forget you? No… no one can ever replace my love for you. No one in this life and the next will ever replace you."
"But what about-?"
"Susan… just because I asked Liliandil to come back to Narnia with us doesn't mean I'm replacing my love for you. You're my everything Susan. I've lived without you once, and I don't want to live without you again. I love you, Susan. No, I don't just love you. I'm IN love with you. I always have been. I don't know why I realized it when you left me, but I did. I've always loved you, since the first day we met."
Susan looked down. She stood up. "You've told me that so many times-"
"Susan, every day without you is torture for me. Not hearing your sweet voice is the death of me. Not seeing those heavenly ocean blue eyes of yours will drive me crazy. Never seeing you… if I never saw you again, it would be a living hell for me."
Susan looked down again and closed her eyes. "Every day without you is torture for me too, Caspian."
Caspian sighed in relief. She looked up at him and smiled. "Even if we are worlds apart, I love you, always," she said. "Nothing will ever replace my love for you. You have had my heart since the first day we met. I know you meant every single word you said, I was just too afraid to get hurt again. Thus, because of my fear… I was pushing you away. And pushing you away is NOT an option for me. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry for acting this way. In a way, I guess you could say I was jealous. But I love you forever and always Caspian. Cross my heart, in this life and the next, no one will ever take your place in my heart."
Caspian smiled and took two strides to get to her. He took her into his arms and brought his lips to hers. She wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him back. He had his arms positioned at her waist, but now they were wrapped around it, and bringing her closer to him. Their lips danced against each other, and Caspian certainly didn't expect Susan's tongue to run over his lips. He couldn't help but moan at that, and she smiled against the kiss. She ran her tongue against his lips again, and this time, she gained entrance. Caspian's hands ran up and down Susan's back, and at some point it touched the bare skin of her back. Yet, that was rare. It sent shivers up and down Susan's spine and left her with buckling knees. Their tongues danced a fiery dance, and yet they battled for dominance. Susan's hands ran through Caspian's silky dark brown hair, slightly tugging on it. That action made him moan once again. Their kiss was so passionate that they were moving backwards, and with that they landed on the bed with Susan on the bottom and Caspian on the top. Caspian's hands went up and down Susan's sides as her continued to run through his hair. The kiss seemed to go on forever, and their lips raved each others' in hunger. Yet, there was a very important part to living: air. They reluctantly broke apart, both breathing very heavily.
Susan's lips were red and slightly swollen. Her cheeks were flushed red and her body felt warm. Butterflies were flying in her stomach and her heart was soaring. The shine in her eyes was now brighter than ever.
Caspian's hair was slightly disheveled and his cheeks were heated pink through his lightly tanned skin. His heart was pounding and flying high in the sky. The gleam in his eyes could never be taken away, not when he was so happy.
They both looked at each other, both smiling brightly. Before they knew it, they were both laughing. Caspian rolled off of her and off of the bed. He stood up and ran his fingers through his hair, letting the mess become tame. Susan sat up and pulled her hair back into a ponytail, licking her lips. They looked at each other, and shyly looked away. Never in their lives had they kissed like that. Granted, it was probably the first heated kiss they ever had.
Caspian took a deep breath and looked at Susan. Since their kiss, she had a slight glow to her. He smiled brightly at her. She looked at him and smiled.
"Does that mean you forgive me, Susan?" he asked in a shy voice.
She laughed lightly and smiled. She looked down and back up at him whilst sighing. "Yes, Caspian. I forgive you."
He smiled and she stood up. He took her hand and kissed the back of her hand. She smiled at him and slightly blushed. He took her arm in his and they walked out of the room. As they headed up to the deck, they dropped their arms by their sides. They smiled at each other and walked up to the deck. Susan walked out first; it was the first in a few days that she has been out of the room. She breathed in the ocean air and walked to where her family was.
Caspian came out after Susan, going to where Aleeah and Rylie were. They stood by the helm, talking to Drinian about possible battle plans they might need. They saw him coming and Aleeah slightly smiled.
"You okay, Caspian?" asked Rylie.
"Of course I am," said Caspian. He looked down to where Susan stood and sighed. "Everything is absolutely great."
Peter saw Susan coming towards them and he slightly smiled.
"You okay, Su?" he asked. She smiled brightly at them. She took in a breath and looked to where Caspian stood. She nodded and looked back to her siblings.
"To be honest, I'm doing great. Never better," she replied. Edmund, Peter, and Lucy looked up at Caspian as Aleeah and Rylie looked down at Susan. They looked back to the ones they were talking to.
"Oh really?" asked Edmund and Aleeah at the same time.
"Definitely," Susan and Caspian replied.
"Shall we talk to our friends?" asked Rylie, referring to the Kings and Queens of Old.
"If you want," said Caspian.
They headed down to the deck where they stood by the four.
"Hey," Edmund said, smiling at Aleeah.
"Hey," she replied in a small yet shy voice.
"Hey!" said Rylie in a weird but attention getting voice. They all laughed. Everyone saw Susan and Caspian now smiling at each other.
"Is everything alright between you two?" asked Lucy, looking back and forth between the two.
"What are you talking about, Lucy?" asked Susan. "You act as if we've been arguing."
"But you just-"
"You sure you're okay, Lu? We've been talking this whole time," insisted Caspian.
"But you were just-" started Aleeah.
"What do you mean you-?" stated Edmund.
"I thought you were mad at him," said Peter.
"I'm so confused," Rylie said, placing a hand to his head.
Susan and Caspian laughed. "We're just kidding," said Caspian.
"However, everything between us is just fine. Things were… sorted out," said Susan. She and Caspian began to blush and Lucy, Edmund, Aleeah, Rylie, and Peter looked at them with furrowed eyebrows.
"Are you sure?" asked Rylie.
"Because it looks like-" started Edmund.
"-you two had one good bloody snogging session," finished Aleeah. The two blushed deeper and their answer was found.
"Oh," said all five.
"Well… at least there is no more arguing," said Lucy. Everyone nodded at Lucy's statement.
"While that may be, we still have Dark Island to worry about. This battle is not over yet," Aleeah said sighing. Edmund put a hand on her lower back, and she looked at him.
"We'll get through it," Edmund said.
"You just have to have faith," replied Peter.
Everyone looked at each other and looked out towards the sea. Not far ahead was Dark Island.
AN:/ hey there! again, SOOOO sorry for the long wait on the update! i've had this chapter ready for SOOO long, i just never had time to update! okay, so thank you all to who alerted, favorited, and reviewed! i would like to thank Arocksprpl2, mae-E, briannah, ,IsobelleBaby, Lady Elena Bella Petrova, Romantic Journalist, 93.x, and MCH for reviewing! oh my goodness, we're soooo close to the ending! i cant believe it! well, still, thank you guys sooo much for this! i hope you enjoyed this chapter!
sincerely,
obsessedchick15 :)
