You can probably tell how I am feeling on the day I am writing my chapters... however I feel seems to be expressed through my chapters...

Ho...HUM

One of my be-loved Friends has written a brilliant Fan fiction I think you should check it out:
Then Fate walked in – faking the sunset
TRy! IT. :D


Edwards POV

I arrived at school, stopping my car just before it hit the curb. I looked out the window. My eyes flickering around the school parking lot, it was almost becoming a Daily routine. I kept looking, my eyes making sure they searched every parking space in the car park; finally they rested on a Red truck... Bella's Truck, my Mystery Swan's truck

She was my mystery swan again.

Yesterday, she sprinted out the class room, out the door... trying to get away from me probably. Bella was nowhere to be seen; well no one I asked had seen her...

I walked to my locker to find Bella at hers, she seemed somewhat angry. She was clutching at herself, what I could see she was soaked. How did she get so wet? What is/was wrong?

She began to walk away; I didn't want to see her go.

I called out her name "Bella" I also walked near her, just a few steps behind her

"Hi" she muttered, she seemed embarrassed

"Hello" I said

Then began an awkward silence, but somehow peaceful. I didn't know if she found it 'peaceful as well' I had to do something. I was trying to think of what to say, but nothing seemed to be coming to mind. I didn't want another 'onion flakes' fiasco.

I watched her arms leave her cold, wet body to hang by her side. She must be freezing, should I offer her my coat?
She wouldn't expect it; she hated to be the 'weak' one. I looked deep into her eyes, she was thinking something threw.

"Well...got to get home" she said quickly, then turning around and walking away to her car.
I watched her
getting in and starting it up, I just looked away, not wanting to look at her anymore. Not want to be reminded of her, of my embarrassment, she obviously didn't care for me... the kiss meant nothing to her. At least I tried.

I flicked up my eyes from my steering wheel, which I had began to stare at while remembering the previous day. My eyes laid on her, she was standing, talking to someone, I couldn't see who she was blocking out their face.

I got out my car, locking it up.

I turned around, from this turning to see Bella, my mystery Swan. I couldn't see her, she must have moved on from her conversation.

I walked over to my friends; Alice, Jasper, Emmett.

"HELLO" bellowed Emmett

"Hi" I mumbled back.

They all seemed to just roll their eyes at the same time; I swear I could have heard it.

I looked up gave them a grimace and turned around and began to head for my locker. When I arrived at my locker, I found Bella there. I felt my eyes staring at her...

She locked up, noticing my gaze she turned around quickly, she got her bag caught in her locker, and she fell to the floor at the resistance of the bag

I ran over to her, making sure she was okay.

Her face was bright scarlet.

"Go away" she mumbled, I just ignored her

"Bella are you okay?" I asked

"Fine" she muttered at be

"Here" I said as I put my hand out to help her up

She looked at my hand for awhile, but ignored it getting up on her account. I watched her, making her way up. Her legs were a little shaky, her fall wasn't that bad

She began to rock a little; I put my arms out to steady her. Instead of a smile or a thank you I got a slap on the arm as she walked off...

She was such a Fucking mystery. Was it sad that I like it, she was my mystery, something I could work out... I don't know that might sound kind of strange, but I didn't mean it in any weird way.

I followed her, I wanted to make sure she was okay, I don't care she doesn't want my help. I was going to give it to her.

I walked up to her; she turned and looked at me... scared

She quickly ran into the bathroom. Letting the door swing back and forth, I got a glimpse of her, her hands were on the sink, and she was splashing water on her face.

Bella's POV

I got out my bed, my head was spinning. I couldn't have this today or never. I held my head, trying to steady it.

After five minutes it seemed to stop, I took a step, again it slightly the world was spinning, and I was just going to ignore it. I didn't want to end up back in hospital.

I walked slowly over to my wardrobe, pulling out some clothes for today. I thought it would be best to go with something warm, especially after yesterday.

After getting dressed I put a brush through my hair and walked downstairs.

I walked into the kitchen to find a box of cereal and milk out, father must have already left, I checked out the kitchen window, yup his car was gone.

I wasn't hungry so I ignored breakfast, putting away Charlies mess.

I walked upstairs to get my bag, swinging it over my shoulder I walked outside, locking the house.

I walked to my Truck, got in and drove to school.

When I arrived at school, I sat in my truck for awhile; keeping warm in front of the heater, today was one of the colder days.

After awhile I knew it was time for me to get out. I got out slowly, making sure my head was spinning. I walked, ignoring the spinning

My hand was on my head when I walked into Mike

"Hello Bella!" he said

"Hi" I mumbled back to him

"How are you today on this fine Moring" Great it looked like he was going to attempt to make small talk. I really wasn't in the mood

"Mike, I have to use the bathroom" I said, of course lying I was trying to get rid of him.

He put his arm around me, I shrugged away from him. Lucky someone called his name, and I was able to slip away.

I went to my locker, opening it up, getting out some books I needed. I felt something on me I looked up, it was Edwards's eyes. I turned away quickly, slamming my locker door. The next thing I knew I was getting pulled back, my bag had got caught in my locker, I was on the floor. This was not what I needed today, my head was spinning extremely fast, and my legs were shaking.

I heard the patter of someone's feet as they ran towards me, of course it was Edward. I was embarrassed, my face turning a bright scarlet.

"Go away" I mumbled, not really meaning it. He ignored me, if he heard me

"Bella are you okay?" he asked

"Fine" I muttered

"Here" he said as he put my hand out to help me up

I didn't take it, I didn't want to look weak... I knew I needed his help, but I wanted to do it on my own. Slowly I got up; my body was rocking, trying to stay steady. He put his arms out to steady me, I slapped his arms away, and attempted to walk off, I knew I wasn't going to get far and I could hear him a few steps behind me.

He caught up to me that was then when I felt the world spinning, fast. I needed to get away quickly, I was scared... I didn't want anyone to find out about me

I quickly ran into the bathroom. I put my hands on the sink, trying to keep myself up right, splashing water on my face, trying to wake myself up from the spinning.

I sunk down onto the floor, I knew it was disgusting to walk on this floor let along sit, but I could stay up right.

My hands were stuck to my head, trying to keep it steady. What felt like hours, but was more like seconds I heard a flush.

NO! Whoever it was they were going to find me. I knew I couldn't get up, not yet anyway. I just hope they don't notice me...

Pfft, like that was going to happen... who wasn't going to notice a girl sitting on the bathroom floor holding her head?

"Bella? Are you okay?" asked the voice, it was kind and considerate
I looked up to see a worried Alice.

"Fine" I mumbled, of course lying

"Bella" she said firmly

I looked up at her. She was kneeling down in front of me.

"Bella please tell me" she said again

"I can't" I mumbled

"Why?"

"I don't want anyone knowing"

"Bella, I promise I won't tell anyone" she said

"I can't" I muttered

"Bella, you can"

"No"

"Please? I want to help"

I looked up at her. Her eyes worried, I was nervous... I wanted to tell someone, she looked trust worthy

"Alice" I mumbled, I felt tears starting to form behind my eyes

Then everything just blurted out. I couldn't stop it once I started, I didn't know if I could stop at the very end. I gave her more details than my parents, every detail I remembered, the pain, the fear, the shock...

Once I had finished, I put my hands up to my eyes, trying to stop the tears crashing down.

Alice's eyes were in shocked, but her face was sympathetic.

"Bella" she mumbled, and then pulled me into a hug. I hugged back, so was making everything fade slightly

"Bella .." she gave me a smile.

"Alice, you won't?" I asked her

"Bella I will never tell" she said

She helped me up; I accepted her help without protest.

I looked up into the mirror, my face was red and blotchy... and my eyes, they were bright red and puffy.

I splashed water on my face, continuously.

Alice watched me. Her eyes were a little scared.

I smiled at her in the mirror, and she returned the smile.

After my face had gone down, my eyes weren't as puffy. It looked like I was just tiered.

I looked at her; she was waiting at the door for me. Not letting anyone in. I gave her another smile, thanking her.

"Bella?" she asked

"Yes?" I answered

"Have you ever thought about getting help?" I knew she meant this in a kind way

"I did" I muttered "I Never want to go through it again" I hated it, the Doctor tried to make me feel better but all he did was make it worst, I played along. So I was out of theory quickly.

I stood at the door, Alice was behind me. I closed my eyes, and pushed the door open.

Edwards POV

It had been 45 minutes, before Bella had surfaced from the bathroom. What was taking her so long?

When she pushed the door open, her eyes were slightly red and puffy... she had been crying. I went to walk to her, make sure she was okay. I pulled my headphones out my ears.

I got a whole two steps, when Alice came out behind her. I was slightly confused. Alice looked worrying at Bella, but yet she was trying to keep her face happy.

Bella was cowering away from people walking pass, she didn't want anyone near her, expect she was allowing Alice.

Alice knew something the rest of us didn't.

I watched them; they were heading towards their first class. I too thought it might be an idea to head to mine.

I entered this was my only class where I was alone. I sat up the back, spreading out my stuff. The teacher ignored my late coming, luckily.

I wanted to know what was wrong with Bella
why she didn't trust me.
Why did she want to be nowhere near me?

The lesson was cut short; of course not for everyone else... it was just short to me, because of my late coming.

I walked into the cafeteria, and sat down at my usually table. I watched the entrance, looking, watching, and waiting for Bella and Alice to enter.

I watched them walk in. They walked over to our table. It looked like Alice was almost helping Bella walk.

I was worried was she extremely hurt? Sick?

Bella sat down, and Alice sat down next to her.

Jasper and Emmett came, they looked at Alice and Bella giving me questioning looks, all I could do was shrug at them.

I watched her.

Her face, her head it looked like it was spinning...

There was something wrong with her.

She looked at Alice, then smiling at everyone trying to reassure us.

We all knew there was something wrong, but we knew she didn't want us to mention it.

The Bella Rang, time for lesson

Bella got up, quickly. Alice's eyes opened up. She was scared

I looked at Bella, she was rocking on the spot, and it seemed to gain a lot of attention. Everyone was watching her. Alice was over to her in a second. Trying to hold her up

I watched Bella; I couldn't help but smile at her. Even though she wasn't feeling well or looking to well either I couldn't help myself

I watched her, she was rocking too much... she seemed to be getting to close to the floor. The next thing I knew was she was on the floor. She fainted... Again.

"Bella!" screeched Alice

I heard phones dialling.


Gripping i hope XD

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Oh and a happy mothers Day, to all mothers out there

[10th of may 2009]