"And then Shirley got my number from Abed," Jeff was saying. He sat at his desk, with Mark leaning against his office doorframe. "And she tore me a new one, too."

"Ugh, that's rough, buddy," Mark clucked his tongue in sympathy. "Annie just shut you down."

"Yeah."

"You were, like, putting it all out there, and she was having none of it."

"Yeah."

"She took your heart and just squeezed it." Mark made a gesture imitating a vise.

"Yeah. Thanks, Mark."

"Oh, so sad." He shook his head. "On the plus side, now you know how easy it is to get an Uber over in front of the state house."

Jeff glared at him.

"I'm trying to find a silver lining. Really reaching, I know… so what's your next move? Singing telegram at her workplace? Her office is just down the block, right? I know a guy who'll dress up in a stuffed animal costume and then strip it off. It sounds a little off, I know, but it's a whole cute strip-o-gram thing. He's very tasteful."

"Hmmph." Jeff managed a weak smile. "Not really my style."

"Fair enough, chief. Have you considered a cheese clock? It's like a flower clock — you send her one rose at one o'clock, two roses at two, and by midnight she has the full arrangement of seventy-eight roses, I'm sure you're familiar — but instead of roses, you send her gourmet cheeses." Mark beamed. "It's how I courted Eleanor."

Jeff stared at him a moment. "You know, I've missed you."

"Aw, I missed you too, buddy." Mark took a step towards Jeff's desk, in case Jeff was going to stand so they could hug. When Jeff didn't move he sat in one of Jeff's office chairs. "So if you're passing on my ideas, what do you have planned?"

"I don't know." Jeff rubbed the back of his neck and glanced up at the ceiling. "Maybe nothing. Maybe I should lie low for a while, avoid the Starbucks where she saw me…"

"Tango!" Mark sounded shocked. "You said she had your note — which means she found your note, not for nothing — she had it on her person. She walks around with it. You're in, man! It's first and inches, you don't want to punt now!"

"I've got to face reality," Jeff said. "She's moved on. She moved on more than a year ago."

"Your note. Her pocket," Mark reminded him.

"She wasn't happy to see me," Jeff countered. "And she'd seen me around and not tried to talk to me. There's not some grand plan to us both being here — it's just a stupid coincidence."

"Oh, I hope that's not true." Stone strolled into Jeff's office. "Surely you're both here because you're skilled legal professionals."

"Get this, Will," Mark said before Jeff could stop him. "Jeff's ex that he moved here to avoid? She moved here too. She works like a block away, at the FBI office."

Jeff saw a flicker of… something… cross Stone's face before his usual neutral expression returned. Confusion? Fear? Whatever it was, it was gone in an eyeblink. "That sounds unlikely," Stone said coolly.

"World's full of unlikely things," Jeff replied.

"Speaking of unlikely things, I just got off the phone with the client at Via —" Stone began.

"Laser Lotus," Mark corrected him. "Come on, Will."

Stone smiled briefly. "Fine. I just got off a call with Laser Lotus, and they need to move up the meeting with Delaware co-counsel to tomorrow morning," he announced.

"What? Why?" asked Mark. "Tomorrow's Saturday."

"I'm not sure," Stone admitted. "The schedule we'd agreed to conflicts with some religious holiday or something." He shrugged. "Doesn't matter. I told Andrea to cancel your other ticket," he told Jeff, "and get you on the Acela down there tonight. She'll email you your itinerary. The Laser Lotus people are already there."

Jeff let out a long breath.

"This a problem?" Stone asked, seeing Jeff hesitate. "I admit I probably should have checked with you before instructing Andrea. Do I need to go?" His tone made it clear he'd really rather not.

A weekend trip out of town might well be just what the doctor ordered. Jeff could spend a little time getting his head together before talking to Annie again. She'd probably appreciate a cooling-off period, he told himself. This wasn't him running from his problems. He knew exactly where his problems were. "Not at all, it's great," Jeff said, and meant it. "I'll run home, throw some socks in a bag, and get to the train station with bells on."

"Sorry to make you rush," Stone said as Jeff and Mark both rose. "Needs must when the devil drives."

"You know, I've never understood that expression," Mark mused. "There's three verbs and only one noun."


HIS NAME IS JOE to ANNIE, 1815:

Hey, I didn't see you this morning or yesterday morning…

Hope you're okay!

Are we still on for tomorrow?


JEFF (NEW!) to ANNIE, 1846:

I'm sorry about yesterday

I was hoping to see you this weekend just to talk about it

But I've got to go out of town on business last-minute


HIS NAME IS JOE to ANNIE, 1851:

Maybe we could grab a bite before the concert?

Or if you can't make it that's cool…


JEFF (NEW!) to ANNIE, 1857:

Right now I'm on a train to Delaware

Life is just a never-ending cavalcade of excitement


Annie stared at the text messages and sighed. They just kept coming. Joe Brown had probably asked himself when she was most likely to respond promptly to a text message and come up with the time she spent on the bus coming home from work. Jeff probably thought he only needed to remind her he existed, snap his fingers and she'd come running.

She started to type in a response to Joe, confirming the date and asking for time/place details, but she deleted it. Then she started a response claiming that she was sick and couldn't make it, and deleted that one, too.


ANNIE to JEFF (OLD NUMBER), 1908:

What do you want from me?

[ERROR MESSAGE NOT DELIVERED]

Exhibit # 8 bazillion in the Jeff Sends Mixed Messages case: you wanted to see me but you're going to Delaware instead.

[ERROR MESSAGE NOT DELIVERED]

Jeez, I don't know what you should have done! I just know you're telling me that I'm not as important to you as whatever your trip is for.

[ERROR MESSAGE NOT DELIVERED]

Okay, you're right, I wouldn't blow off my job for you either, and you're low man on the totem pole at your new place the same way I'm new at mine.

[ERROR MESSAGE NOT DELIVERED]

But it puts me in a real awkward position

[ERROR MESSAGE NOT DELIVERED]

And now I've got this coffee shop guy to get rid of

[ERROR MESSAGE NOT DELIVERED]


She stared at the last line. She'd written it without thinking, but it was true: she had no desire to see Joe Brown, no desires for him at all beyond getting rid of him. She'd put off making any kind of decision the whole bus ride home, which only reminded her of her Uber ride the night before. She sat on the sofa, looking at her phone, and not making any decisions, until Vicki came home.

"Hey, Annie!" she called out as she entered the apartment. "Just FYI, I did come home last night, it was just super late and you know I have to get up super early for the bakery! How's… ah." Vicki trailed off as she entered the living room and read the expression on Annie's face. "Quendra told me about your Jeff encounter."

"You were right and I was wrong, I guess," Annie said sadly.

"Well, I hate to say I told you so, but I did tell you so. Screw Jeff Winger, though, you know?"

"Heh. Yeah."

"You should come out with me and Todd," Vicki suggested. "Hit some bars, loud music, get him out of your system!"

"I don't know if — wait, Todd's in Boston, too?"

"What?"

"Todd from Greendale Todd?"

"Oh. No. There was a Todd? Todd's from Revere. And we're just friends and it's all on the up and up and if Neil asks you don't know a Todd and I've never mentioned him and I sleep here every night, okay? Can you do that for me?"

Annie squinted, nonplussed. She grunted something that might have been a yes or a no.

"Great!" Vicki said with a smile. "Seriously you should come, you shouldn't be sitting around moping."

She stammered. "I don't think I can afford —"

"Please." Vicki cut Annie off with a brief glare. "Like you'll be paying for any of your own drinks."

"Okay," Annie said, surrendering to the inevitable. When no one bought her any drinks she'd be able to justify begging off and going back home, and Vicki would be gratified she'd given it a shot.

"Awesome!" Vicki's grin suddenly vanished. "You're not wearing that, are you?"

Annie glanced down at her work clothes. "Why not?"

"At least change into a tank top," Vicki suggested.

"It's cold!" Annie protested.

"It's not cold in the bars!"

This is a make-friends-with-Vicki occasion, Annie reminded herself. "Fine. I'll change and we can head out."


In her room Annie weighed her phone in her hand.


ANNIE to HIS NAME IS JOE, 2003:

[Sorry emoji] Stuff has been crazy — I don't think I can make it [Sorry emoji]


The response came almost immediately.


HIS NAME IS JOE to ANNIE, 2004:

That's ok!

No problem — Good luck with craziness!


Annie started to type a response — just a quick thank-you — but decided it would send the wrong message. It would have been one thing if Jeff weren't in town, or even if Jeff were here but Annie felt something — anything — for Joe Brown.


ANNIE to JEFF (NEW!), 2010:

Maybe some time next week


ANNIE to JEFF (OLD NUMBER), 2010:

Delaware! Land of Mystery and Enchantment! How could I resent being pre-empted by a visit to Wilmington, the City of Lights?

[ERROR MESSAGE NOT DELIVERED]

You really know how to make a girl feel valued

[ERROR MESSAGE NOT DELIVERED]


Then, impulsively:


ANNIE to HIS NAME IS JOE, 2011:

Actually you know stuff has been crazy but it would be a good distraction

I hope you haven't made other plans in the last ten minutes

[Nervous face emoji] [blush emoji] [sorry emoji]


HIS NAME IS JOE to ANNE, 2012:

Not at all! [Thumbs-up emoji]


Maybe I'll like him more if I get to know him a little better, Annie thought. It's not like another year of not dating Jeff Winger is going to make anything better for anybody.


VICKI to ANNIE, 2014:

Are you ready?

PS I am NOT cheating on Neil with Todd and you can tell Neil I said that if he ever asks

I mean don't bring it up obviously but if he asks you should tell him I told you I am not cheating on him

and as far as you know that's the truth


"I'm coming!" she called. Vicki was only in the next room. She threw on a tank top and ventured forth into the night for what turned out to be an evening of not being able to hear what people were saying, politely declining mens' attempts to get her drunk or possibly roofie her, and trying not to watch Vicki make out with her platonic friend.


ANNIE to JEFF (OLD NUMBER), 0017:

Is this what normal people do? This sucks.

[ERROR MESSAGE NOT DELIVERED]


Well, well, well, Harvey Keitel.

Jeff stood at the window in his hotel room and stared out over the rooftop across the street at the singularly unimpressive skyline of Wilmington, Delaware, corporate litigation capital of the world. He imagined, not for the first time, what Annie might have said if she were there.

It's super cool and mature of you to run away like this, Imaginary Annie said.

"I'm not running away. This is for work. I have a meeting in the morning." Jeff loosened his tie and debated whether he'd rather have a drink in the hotel bar or just go to bed.

Sure. You didn't jump at the chance to get out of range of the ol' Disney Eyes. Imaginary Annie hopped onto a tabletop, her legs swinging. She stuck her tongue out at him.

Jeff ignored her and busied himself taking off his shoes. "Maybe I'll call room service and have a bottle of scotch sent up," he mused.

Yeah, that's a great move. You can bill the client for it! Imaginary Annie said. That was sarcasm. Also I'm in Boston and I'm not going to tell you to stop drinking, so if your big plan is to drink too much to get me to pay attention to you, which I bet it is because your alcohol consumption dropped by ninety percent as soon as I went off to DC, drinking here and now is not a good way to do it.

"You know, as time goes on you sound less and less like Annie and more and more like my thinly-veiled self-loathing," Jeff told her as he hung his suit jacket up. The pants went over a chair back, while his shirt, t-shirt, and socks were dirty laundry.

Oh, Jeff, come on! Yes, I'm a projection of your imagination, but don't you think you know the real Annie well enough for me to be a good facsimile? I have all of Annie's traits. I'm hot, but not little-girl hot, and I'm incredibly clever and fun and you miss me when I'm not around. I love you like a slightly estranged older brother, and I'm mad at you right now for running away and then being pushy, but mostly I tolerate your misguided attraction to me. It's only fair, I figure, since I was hung up on you for so long. Plus I kind of like the way we both know that I have you completely wrapped around my little finger.

"Mark pointed out to me, this morning, that you apparently keep my letter on your person," Jeff said slowly.

Imaginary Annie shrugged. Not a big deal. Maybe I hold on to it because I really do care about you. We have a lot of history, and just because I've moved on doesn't mean I don't care. Or maybe I just happened to have it on me through coincidence, like I was wearing that jacket when I found it and I stuck it in a pocket and forgot about it.

"And you called me your best friend."

Well, duh, Imaginary Annie said with a toss of her hair. We texted like every day, all summer.

"Some of those texts were pretty…" Jeff trailed off, not needing to say 'flirty.'

Best friend was hyperbole — I was upset — but obviously you're one of my closest friends. I can have close friends I don't make out with. I never kissed Abed or Britta once. I mean, Imaginary Annie clarified, I've kissed Imaginary Britta and then some, but that doesn't count and you have a very dirty mind.

Jeff smirked at his own imagination's wit.

But seriously, you can be my best friend without me wanting to kiss you except as a favor to you, Imaginary Annie said.

"You also complained about me getting engaged to Britta, on the day we met Borchert." Jeff frowned, remembering. "I think that's what you were complaining about."

Yeah, that's a big mystery. Why would I complain about that? You were only hooking up again with the woman you'd been sleeping with to distract yourself from me.

"That's not… okay, that's kind of true. But only kind of." Jeff threw himself backwards onto the bed and spread his arms wide.

And we both know Britta deserves better than to be used like that. Unlike me, she doesn't have the self-respect to deal with you and all your weird issues. I'm spunky as fuck and I can handle you — up to a point — that's one of the things you love about me. But Britta? She is not a woman you should be in a relationship with, or even sleeping with. You know that.

"It was a crazy time!" Jeff pulled a pillow over his head, to hide the tears in his eyes. "You know, I was only three days out of the hospital!"

Ugh, don't remind me. Jeff imagined Annie giving a whole-body shudder. Nothing less attractive than a gross old man in a hospital bed.

"Real Annie wouldn't say that," Jeff said.

No, of course not. But she would think it. Or she thought it. Probably that's why I cooled off on you right after that. Sick old man, on top of hooking up with Britta… It's clear why I looked at you and said, no thank you, time for Annie Edison to move on. Imaginary Annie hopped down from her seat and cuddled up next to him on the hotel mattress. It sucks that you waited until then to decide you were in love with me, she whispered wistfully in his ear. But it's your fault, not mine. You can't say I didn't give you every chance. The sooner you move on, the better, and I'm saying that as your friend.

"I think I liked it better when you were insulting me," Jeff murmured.

You're one of my closest friends and I do care about you, even if I don't want to be your actual girlfriend. I let you kiss me goodbye, remember? I thought it would make you feel better.

"I definitely liked it better when you were insulting me."

If you ask me nicely enough I might decide that I should sleep with you to make you feel better.

The thought struck him like a blow to the chest; his entire body spasmed.

Like you could turn me down… aw. In Jeff's imagination Annie sighed sadly, then kissed him lightly on the cheek; he could almost feel her breath. I'm sorry. These aren't things I would ever want to risk hurting you by saying out loud, because I love you. And as long as you don't break down and beg me for sex I'm sure it'll never come up. You're just feeling especially low right now. And you know you've got me worried about you. I love you like an uncle, but I love you.

"I love you too," Jeff murmured.

Oh, believe me, I know.