11
Ianto didn't know what to do, where to go and found himself in the kitchen with Dahlia turning to face him, "Darling?"
"Oh Hearthwarmer" he sobbed, collapsing into her arms and she grabbed for him with horror, pulling him close to croon and comfort. Whoever or whatever had done this needed one of those nuclear bomb things Owen talked about sometimes shove up their arse. Ianto pulled himself together and wiped his eyes, laughing shakily as he apologised and she shook her head as she argued with him that there was no need. She settled him at the table and after assuring him the children were all at Rhiannon's he started to talk.
He told her everything.
From Da to the replica with the floppy hair his Mama probably still stroked her fingers though when kissing him goodnight. Oh dear, he might have sort of howled a bit as he saw that he had remembered his mother as some sort of Gaia Earth Mother goddess or something and forgotten that she was a real person. One who had smacked him for letting Rhiannon eat his buttered scone that time, the mother who had told him he couldn't go to the cinema with his friends because he hadn't put the rubbish out even thought it wasn't his turn. It all came flooding out and at the end of it he sat hiccupping softly.
"Oh dear" she sighed. "Do you think Jack was the same? I do hope I am not a disappointment to him too."
"Don't be a divvy" Ianto sniffled, "You're lovely."
She felt such a rush of affection or the poor boy and wondered where this 'Scotland' place was. Maybe she should go slap the woman into some sort of order for her horrible words. When she voiced this Ianto had snorted and then laughed with some more tears as he told her it didn't matter. Some things were best left and he should have never opened that Pandora's Box anyway. "You reap what you sew and I did give her away didn't i? Here I am so jealous of my brother. Jed, what sort of name is that. I ask you!"
"Yes, I would never have chosen that" she agreed as she patted his hand, relieved to see him calming down, "I mean … did he really look floppy?"
"Yeah. Weak. Or am I just hoping so?" Ianto sighed and scrubbed at his face as he leaned back, "I just got such a …a…shock. I had this image or her, this thought in my head and it's nothing like her. The Yan bit isn't even there. I don't think it ever was."
"That's because that's you love" Dahlia laughed as she pushed his shoulder gently, "Yan is you, nobody else. No matter what mask you wear, it is you in there, a lovely strong and determined person who loves his family fiercely. You would and have died for us, as has your bond mate. I am your Hearthwarmer, you are his Holdfast. If we cannot speak to one another as equals, without the need to lie or pretend then we have failed in our quest to be family. I tell you now… I am proud to say you are mine. To hear you call me Mama fills me with a glow of achievement."
"And… it is as it should be. The Mama I loved died. I will mourn her forever. You are the Mama that cares for me now and all I need" Ianto nodded, Dahlia nodding with satisfaction as she rose to check the children out the window as they now ran about screaming with glee.
"What will you do if she wants to talk? Will you listen?"
"Clem is not my mother. My Mama is the woman that died in the kitchen that night. I can see that now, I am at peace with that" Ianto smiled and now realised that he had to reassess and shake it off.
"When Gray returned… I felt such a fear" Dahlia whispered softly as she looked out the window, not at Ianto, "I felt anger. Shame. I wondered why he looked at me so, what he wanted. I even asked if he needed me at all the way he clung to you. Oh how I resented you. Now I see the folly of it all. I see that there was reason for things, there was need for things and in the end there was a completion and things are as they should be. As a mother, I can only ask that you give her that chance. The chance to atone."
"As a mother? Tell me, as a mother … did you ever give up on him?"
Dahlia swung to look at him and shook her head in denial, "A mother never lets go of her children, no matter what."
"Well there you go. Clem is not my mother. I need to think that way then" Ianto decided, rising to go out and enjoy his children as Dahlia considered thing more and went to find Jack.
She had questions now.
.
.
.
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Clem dropping the cup was the second thing breaking in the previous chap because of course the first thing had been Ianto's poor heart.
