A/N: Wow…I haven't updated in FOREVER! I had to put my cat down last weekend and it was not very pleasant…so sorry people, I will try to make updates more frequent, but the word processor at my dad's house is weird and fanfiction doesn't let it keep the formatting (which I learned the hard way). So I may have to update during the week now and then every other weekend. Anyway, this chapter is probably a heck of a lot sillier than any of the other chapters that are up already. I enjoyed writing it a lot even though I had major writer's block…so enjoy the cherry tomatoes! XD
(So much for a short author's note, eh?)
DISCLAIMER: The usual hateful, nasty crap that I write after the word DISCLAIMER.
Chapter 11It was strange. One moment, Jack and Barbossa were archenemies, each trying to be rid of the other. The next, they were swapping stories and drinking rum together like old friends. But then, maybe they were old friends. Elizabeth didn't know much of their past together save for the mutiny. In fact, that was all she knew.
Over the time that Barbossa hat been on the Black Pearl, Elizabeth had almost grown to like him, oddly enough. He and Jack had started something of a joint teaching over her lessons with the sword, and they often had to stop for the two to question the other's motives for teaching her something.
Barbossa was sometimes so brutally honest that it was almost funny. ("I miss Will," Elizabeth had sighed. Barbossa had rolled his eyes. "Never liked 'im that much, t' be honest. Little too dramatic. Bit too girly for my likin'.") He had retrieved his hat before his ship had sunk, and was constantly asking Elizabeth if she thought the part of the feather that had been blown away looked obvious, always a sarcastic eyebrow raised. Elizabeth would always reply that it was no more obvious than the feather Jack had cut away, and Barbossa would growl something that sounded like and oath.
Much as she liked him and tried to ignore it, Elizabeth couldn't help thinking back to his words during their first proper conversation. "You've absolutely no honor, Mister Barbossa," she had said, though she knew he did.
"If I've none, ye're below my marks, Miss Swann," he had returned. Elizabeth's jaw had dropped.
"You-"
Barbossa had smirked and cut her off. "If ye think I've no honor, ye should talk to Jack."
She had stared at him, wide-eyed with shock. Then she had regained her composure. "I'm sure he's more honor than you realize, or could ever hope to have," she had grinned. Barbossa had laughed at that.
"Maybe ye should think of yer own actions before speakin', missy," he had retorted. After receiving a punch on the arm, he had turned to the rail, arms crossed. Elizabeth hadn't been sure whether he was joking about Jack or not.
Jack slid his arm around Elizabeth's waist, and she started. "My tremendous intuitive sense of the female creature informs me that you are, dearie, deep in thought."
"Your tremendous intuitive sense of the 'female creature' seems to be correct quite a lot," Elizabeth said.
"I like to be modest. And what, pray tell, were you deep in thought about?" Jack asked.
"Hmm…why?"
He grinned, gold teeth flashing in the sun. "What else but curiosity, luv?"
Elizabeth smiled and stayed silent, leaning back into his chest.
"Do you enjoy playing hard-to-get?"
"Quite."
"Thinking naughty thoughts you don't wish to share?"
"Jack!"
"Yes, dearie?"
She sighed again, shaking her head. "Is that all you think of?"
"Why, of course not! Lizzie, I am offended." Jack gave her a sad look. "Really…there's you, of course…there's the Pearl…there's rum…the possibilities are endless."
"I'm sure they are," Elizabeth said, rolling her eyes.
"Back to my original question…what was it exactly that you were deep in thought about?" Jack questioned again.
"You," Elizabeth responded. It wasn't exactly a lie.
"Like I said…"
"No, not that, Captain One-Track Mind."
Jack frowned.
… … …
In the Captain's cabin, Barbossa and Jack pored over the maps. "I say by about tomorrow afternoon we should be there," Barbossa estimated.
"Mmm," Jack agreed, tapping the edge of the blank absentmindedly. "And then…"
"We grab Turner and go t' Tia Dalma's," Barbossa put in.
"And after that…after we have 'im back…" Jack trailed off once more.
"Jack, consider somethin' else. Does the boy want t' be rescued? What's 'e got t' go back to? Nothin'. Absolutely nothin'. We're bringin' 'im back for our own happiness. Or, at least," Barbossa added, "ye an' Elizabeth are. But really, there's nothin' left for 'im."
"His father," Jack said suddenly. "'E's got 'is father."
"Bootstrap's dead," Barbossa stated bluntly. "We'll 'ave t' get 'im back too."
"Bootstrap's been dead long enough he'll just wake up without Tia Dalma. Will's the only one we'll have to get back," Jack said.
Someone knocked on the door. "Aye?" "C'min!" Barbossa and Jack said at the same time.
"Dinner time!" David announced.
"Good," Jack said, getting up. "I'm so bloody hungry I could eat a kraken…"
"I'm not sure you could eat a kraken, but I'm sure it could eat ye…again," Barbossa growled.
Jack looked at him. "Shut it, you."
"'S true," Barbossa said loudly while David tried not to laugh at the thought of his own father being eaten by a kraken twice. "Ye tried to eat that thing, ye'd have leftover calamari for days. It tried to eat ye, it'd have naught but a morsel of long pork for lunch."
"Long pork?" David cut in.
Barbossa looked down at him. "Human flesh. Who is he, anyway?" he put to Jack.
"My son, David," Jack said.
"Perky little thing, inn'e?"
He shrugged. "I seem to recall you being this way for a bit, and look how you turned out: a grumpy old pirate who's got nothing better to do than lead a mutiny."
Barbossa rolled his eyes. "Thank ye, Jack, ye're a fine friend."
"As are you," Jack returned, executing a small bow over his hands. Barbossa hit him in the back of the head, knocking his hat off. Jack caught it and placed it back on his head, massaging the back of his neck.
"That was fer shootin' me," Barbossa said in explanation.
"Thanks."
He hit Jack in the back of the head again.
"What was that for?!"
"That be fer callin' me old."
"Oh."
… … …
"…so then, the beaver walks up to me, right? And 'e goes, 'Excuse me, sir, but could you direct me to the north pole?' So I say, 'Well, won't you be cold?' And the beaver goes, 'I'm the one wit fur, not you, you dolt.' So then I go, 'I suppose you would go straight north until you run into a glacier.' The beaver says, 'Thank you kindly, sir.' And then – get this – he turns into a cherry tomato and jumps over the side and swims away. Who knew cherry tomatoes had a sense of direction? But then again, who knew cherry tomatoes could swim?"
Jack's explanation of his dream was finished off to an uproar of laughter around the table. (Barbossa just gave Jack an odd look. He looked like he was struggling in his endeavor to not laugh.) Jack was nearly in tears. "Cherry tomatoes with a sense of direction!" he gasped. Elizabeth's shoulders quaked with laughter.
"How do you come up with this?" she asked breathlessly.
"Only from Jack Sparrow," Barbossa grumbled.
"Exactly my point, mate!" Jack exclaimed, slamming the table for emphasis. "Thank you! Gibbs, pass over the hardtack, will you?" He took a large piece and banged it on the table. Thankfully, nothing came out.
Elizabeth bit into her meat for the first time, finally able to do so without choking on her laughter. The rest of the pirates around the table broke into loud conversations, punctuated by laughs and bangs on the table. "When will we arrive?" Elizabeth asked Jack loudly.
"Tomorrow afternoon," Jack answered. "Oh, Barbossa and I've decided to get Bootstrap as well."
"That's nice. I've only met him a few times, he was very kind," Elizabeth said.
"He was a good friend," Jack agreed, raising his half-drained bottle of rum. "To Bootstrap Bill Turner!" he toasted. The pirates drank and resumed their conversations.
"Bloody fool," Barbossa mumbled darkly.
Without even looking up from his plate, Jack gave Barbossa a whack on the back of the head. Barbossa nearly snorted rum through his nose.
A/N: Hope you liked it…next chapter they'll arrive at World's End, that should be interesting…Leave me some love, it may just inspire me to write faster… ;)
