Author's note:-Real life is a pain when all you really want to do is write but you either don't have the time or when you do don't have the energy. You've probably forgotten all about this story but I am going to finish it and I hope that at least some of you enjoy it. Let me know.J

Chapter 11

Chin and Kono exchanged a significant look, the fact that they didn't know bothered both of them but they knew it would concern Danny even more; he took his de facto position as Steve's partner very seriously.

"We don't know," Chin admitted, "We haven't seen or heard from him in the last couple of hours" his gaze had returned to Danny who was staring back at him.

"He didn't call you?" Danny questioned as he shifted himself to a more upright position. He was finding it far easier to ignore his pain then his two friends, but ignoring it and hiding it weren't the same thing and he failed to cover the wince and slight groan that accompanied the movement.

"Danny!" Kono's concern would have been evident in her expression, in the way she moved to help, even if the intonation of his name hadn't screamed it. She wanted him to stay still to stop causing himself more pain, to wait for the paramedics, which. . . dammit she hadn't even started to call yet. "Danny, just keep. . ."

But Danny was too focussed on processing the fact that Steve hadn't contacted Chin or Kono, which meant he hadn't made it to. . . So back to the question. Where. . ?

"No, he didn't. . ." Chin began to answer Danny's question until the unusual phrasing processed, 'didn't call' as though Danny was expecting that, not for them to have seen him but. . . "Wait, Steve was here?"

"He untied me and went for help," Danny confirmed, "We need to find him, he was injured, and. . .he wasn't. . .he" He struggled to find the words to describe what was wrong. . .what he thought was wrong. . .what he had seen, How the Hell did he tell anyone that Steve was at, no past, breaking point, that he was . .

"Danny?" It was Chin who used his name this time and now it acted to pull him back from wherever his focus was drifting and as a question.

"He's. . ." Danny began. His eyes clearly welling with tears as he met Chin's gaze. "Whoever did this was screwing with his head. . .they. . ."

Chin put a comforting hand on his shoulder. "We know, they recreated the convoy from the day his father was killed."

"The Convoy," Danny repeated automatically as his brain tried to add this new piece of information to the already sickening catalogue of experiences that his friend had been forced to relive. His fists clenched, stretching the skin white over his knuckles. He met Chin's gaze once more and shook his head, "More than that," Danny stated, "They made me. . .I had to. . ."

"It's OK Danny you don't need to . . ." .Kono offered, comfortingly.

"I do," Danny interrupted sharply, because he knew that he did have to explain, because it was important that Chin and Kono understood everything that had been done to Steve, understood his part in this, because the mental torture was worsened by the fact that he, Danny, had been complicit, had helped to. . and he couldn't. . . Dammit he had to get his emotions under control and get this out so they could get on with the important task of finding and helping Steve, not to mention capturing the bastards that had done this to him, to them, because this had the potential to destroy Steve and rip their team apart.

Danny visibly forced his emotions under control, clamping down on everything in a way that he should be getting used to because it was a skill that had been tested numerous times in the last few hours. He'd deal with the inevitable fall out later, for now he needed control. "Because they made me read from a script, tortured me when I didn't," his voice remained steady, if he'd had the capacity to notice he might have even been impressed with himself, that or worried about the seeming lack of emotion. "I don't know how they did it but I'm fairly sure they made Steve repeat the entire conversation that he had with his father, only using me and. . ."

Danny had never heard either of the cousins swear, not even when Chin had an explosive necklace strapped on him ready to literally blow his head off, but even though they spoke in native Hawaiian he was fairly sure the words they now muttered would be ones he wouldn't want translated in front of Grace

Danny forced himself to continue, they needed to hear it all, despite their reaction because they couldn't help Steve properly if they didn't know, what they had done, what he had done. "They fired a shot before hanging up then threw blood on me and knocked me out. So it would look like they'd. . . So Steve would think. . ."

Kono's skin had run cold and she had to swallow down the nausea. "They made him think you died in exactly the same way as his father." The words were almost whispered

Danny gave another small nod. He swallowed, "When I came round Steve was here. He saw. . .He thought. . . He was confused, having flashbacks and. . ." Danny took a deep breath and looked from Chin to Kono and back again. "We have to find him," he paused for a beat. "just us. He wouldn't want. . ."

Danny didn't need to say any more Kono and Chin nodded their understanding. If Steve was suffering he wouldn't want anyone to see it, but better his ohana than some nameless HPD officers who didn't know him. Not to mention the fact that a sane healthy Steve was a dangerous man; Steve McGarrett with his sanity compromised in any way just didn't bear thinking about.

"Okay Bro," Chin once again shared a look with his cousin "Kono and I will find him, you. . ."

"No, I have to . . ."Danny tried to push himself up but it took a laughable amount of effort to stay his movement, at least it would have been laughable in circumstances where their friend hadn't been beaten and tortured.

"Danny," Kono spoke softly, her hand resting lightly on Danny's arm. "We've got this." The 'you'll only slow us down' wasn't added anywhere other than in the gaze that calmly and empathically met his. "You stay here and we'll let you know as soon as we have him."

Frustration, anger and sheer damn stubbornness warred on Danny's features for a few seconds before he let out a small sigh and visibly sagged back into the wall. "You find him," he stated firmly, meeting each of the cousins eyes with a steely gaze that should have been beyond him in his bruised and battered state.

"We will," Kono promised,

H50H50

Kono and Chin moved in tandem across the lanai and out into the trees that separated Steve's house from his nearest neighbour, guns drawn held forward and slightly down, ready for any threat. They did not need to speak to coordinate their movements. They barely needed to use gestures because they instinctively knew which way Steve would go in his search for help. It would be the same way they would go, off the deck, cut through the treeline and round onto. . .

They spotted Steve at the same moment and both stopped dead in their tracks, lowering their weapons in what looked like the last of a carefully choreographed sequence, even their expressions matched, horrified, fascinated, disbelieving. It took several moments to take it in, several moments for the spell to break

Steve was sitting with his knees drawn up and his arms wrapped around them holding them tightly to his chest rocking slowly backwards and forwards, his head was down, a mixture of blood and sand stuck to a tattered dressing that was hanging half -tied from one arm, smoke and sweat, sand and dirt matted down his hair and covered his torn clothing. He looked like a refugee from a war zone and although that in itself wasn't unusual for Steve McGarrett, he normally looked like the conquering hero of said scenario, not the traumatised victim, and everything about him now screamed victim in a way that made you want to weep on his behalf.

Kono moved first she took cautious steps towards Steve, biting the inside of her lip in an effort to hold in the tears. She moved slowly, not wanting to spook the commander because there were so many ways that this situation could become even worse, and it was beyond bad already. Chin moved behind her as they had agreed in another of their non-existent conversations about what to do. If they had talked about it Chin would have sent his cousin ahead, not because of any crap about women having more empathy, but because if the commander reacted in a violent way to being approached Kono had the faster reflexes to get herself out of the situation.

If Steve noticed her approach he gave no sign of it. She got within a couple of feet before dropping down to a walking crouch so that as she moved closer her eyes were on a level with his but he did not look at her, showed no sign that he even knew she was there. He just continued to stare forward, the gentle rocking movement constant, rhythmic unchanged, and it almost broke Kono's heart to see him like this. He was screaming 'broken' with every repetitive movement, with that fixed faraway haunted gaze that did not shift as it should, no acknowledgement, no recognition. He was trapped somewhere and she didn't know what to do, didn't know how to help. How could she. . they. . .How. . . the urge to stand and run away herself was almost overwhelming because she could feel the pain emanating from the man in front of her, it enveloped her, closed in around her. He was suffering right here, right now and the closer she got the stronger the feeling was until she was almost suffocating in his pain, his loss, his despair, but she had to help him, there had to be a way to . .

She stopped close enough to touch but with a little space still between them. "Steve," she said, barely keeping the hitch out of her voice. She mentally chided herself for the show of weakness and tried again a little stronger this time. "Steve, it's Kono, Chin, we're here to help."

There was no response, Kono turned and looked uncertainly at her cousin, he was older, wiser, maybe he. . .but she saw the same uncertainty reflected back at her. He gave her a gesture of encouragement to try again because what else could they do but try?

"Steve," she said again a little louder this time, no response. "Steve, please, just look at me; let me know that you can hear me." With the plea came a touch, she rested her hand gently on his uninjured arm. She had to fight the desire to tense, to be ready to pull back, because in this state there was no knowing how Steve would react, if he would view her as a threat, but she also knew that tensing was entirely the wrong way to get through to him. She drew in a deep breath and forced herself to calm as she felt the slight tremors running through Steve's muscles.

At first he didn't seem to notice the touch and Kono was about to speak again and then Steve's head moved, his gaze dropping to look at his arm, to look at her hand resting on it, following her arm up slowly, elbow, upper arm, shoulder, neck, chin, lips, eyes, as though he were studying each part of her like something he didn't recognise, something he had never seen before. When he finally met her gaze it was all she could do not to let out an audible gasp. Her mind would have struggled to find words to describe the look that now met hers, empty, broken, pained, agonised were the best she could manage but they were inadequate descriptions, because Steve McGarrett, in that moment showed depths of emotion that she had never seen expressed before, because those with any semblance of functioning control would hide such deep emotion from the world. Even in dark despair people would not let another see into their soul, they would hide their despair in hands, in tissues, in handkerchiefs, in the shoulders of friends and loved ones. They would not stare unblinkingly at another and bare their pain to the world as Steve did now and Kono felt her heart breaking with his. She swallowed, "Steve?" she questioned cautiously

"He's dead," Steve whispered, his voice so quiet that she almost missed it, and then his gaze moved back to some point ahead of him and the rocking that had briefly stopped started again as Steve continued to whisper "He's dead. . .I. . .they . . . . killed. . .I . . ."

Kono looked up at her cousin again, unable to stop the tears now. She was hoping that he would be able to tell her what to do now but he just looked back at her with sorrow. What the Hell were they supposed to do to fix this?

TO BE CONTINUED. . . .