Back in the cab, Fred held her newest companion close to her chest. They hadn't bothered to buy an aquarium(they had neither enough money nor enough sense to) and were taking turns holding the little guy.

"What're you gonna name it?" Birkhoff asked as he peered down at it. That fact that the little turtle was draped across her chest was just a bonus. "Leonardo? Michaelangelo?"

Her blue eyes squinted seriously at its little face. His little eyes blinked lazily back at her. After a few moments, she announced to him, "Chud."

"C.H.U.D?" He repeated with a smile. "As in…"

"Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dweller." They said together. She beamed up at him before going on. "But when you send him birthday cards, you have to spell it capital C, lower case h, u, d. Otherwise it sounds pretentious."

His brown eyes rolled. "Oh, well, obviously."

"Alright, miss," The cabbie piped in, "Here's your stop."

"Aw, thanks babe." Fred pulled her wallet from her skin tight pants and handed him a twenty. Then she got out. When Birkhoff didn't follow, she huffed, reached back in, grabbed his hair, and forced him from the car.

"Ah! God damn it, Winifred, you could've just asked!"

She shrugged and pulled out her key. Once they got through the front door, she let go of him. He stared down at her in disbelief. Fred didn't notice, just kept Chud tucked close to her side and cooed gently to it, "Seymour is so testy when's he's tired. Yes he is."

The man looked up at the ceiling as she led him up the stairs. "Whatever," He muttered to himself. He followed a stair or two behind her, and he found himself staring at her ass the whole way up. Not that she minded in the slightest, of course.

As they reached her door, he spoke again. "So, how long are you off for?"

"Couple more days while Mandy works out whether or not I'm stable enough to work with the recruits." She told him. With a smirk, she motioned for him to enter.

Birkhoff brushed past her with a nod. As he inspected the odd array of furniture around them, he asked, "What exactly does she want you to do?"

"She says I've got an ear for dialects." Fred tilted her head as he ran a finger over her couch's arm. "Wants me to teach the recruits how to mimic accents and help them use casual vocab."

"Hm." He leaned back against the couch with a smirk on his lips. His arms crossed over his chest as he watched her continue to pet Chud(who apparently thought he was near or in or maybe over water as his tiny legs kept moving). "You're not still an agent, are you?"

She bobbed her head from side to side, "Dunno. Maybe. I told you I'm waiting to be reassigned."

Seymour quirked a brow at her as she went about setting up a little area in the sink for her new pet. It was soon filled with a small amount of water and lettuce. She set Chud in there with care and washed her hands before sauntering over to him. He smirked down at her as she peered up at him with a smile. Fred wrapped her arms around his waist and dropped her head to his chest. He rubbed her back soothingly as she nuzzled her face into his shirt.

"I really did miss you, you know."

"I know." He kissed the top of her head, and let his lips linger there a while. A vaguely familiar scent caught him off guard, and an absent smile rose on his features as he realized what it was; Peppermint. His hand moved up to cup her jaw, hers wandered under his shirt. Dark brown eyes dropped to their laced fingers as he spoke, "I missed you too."

Fred pulled away from him. Her light gaze swept over his placid, genuine smile and she kissed him for the second time that night.

"Why do you keep doing that?" Birkhoff murmured. More apprehensive than annoyed as she moved her lips from his to his chin. Then his neck. Her small hands slid from his hips to his chest. He shuddered at the contact.

The woman looked up at him curiously. "Doing what?"

He scoffed at her and removed her hands. When she looked offended, he snapped at her. "You give me this bullshit about being uncomfortable, but you come on to me every chance you get! Why?"

A pause. He searched her face for any sign of tears, or annoyance and found none. Her delicate features were blank as she fiddled with his fingers.

"Come on, Fred," Birkhoff coaxed. "I deserve to know what's goin' on in that fucked up little head of yours."

"I like you, B." Winifred smirked weakly at him. "I'm just not sure if I'm relationship material."

"So what, I'm just your whore?" he joked. When her face fell, he pulled her to his chest. "It's okay to be nervous, babe."

"So what do we do?" Fred asked. Her voice was muffled as she spoke into his flannel shirt. She sniffed and wiped her watering eyes with the back of her hand as he rubbed her arm affectionately.

His shoulders rose and fell in a thoughtless shrug. "Take it slow." He pressed his lips to her cheek, "See where things go."

"But I promised to get you laid!" Winifred wailed into his shirt as she collapsed against him.

He caught her with ease, hands slipping under her knees to keep her upright. With a sigh, he told her, "Let's get you to bed."

Her bright eyes lifted to his with confusion. "But you just said-"

"Yeah, I know." Birkhoff rolled his eyes. "We can talk about this when you're asleep. Come on."

The man led the petite blonde through her apartment. It turned out, that while Winifred's apartment was spacious, it held only three rooms. The den/kitchen, the bathroom, and the bedroom. He stared at the bed from the doorway. He really should have expected that she would have an animal themed bedroom. Frankly he was just glad it wasn't Disney. His eyed went from the cheetah print throw rug to the zebra sheets before he led her to the bed. She sat where he told her to, and pouted up at him. Her lipstick was smudged from their kissing, and Birkhoff had no doubt that his face was stained red as well. Her pout turned devious as her hands latched onto his belt. She gave it a tug before speaking.

"I may not be getting laid," Fred told him soberly, "but I am not sleeping alone."

With an overdramatic sigh, Seymour pulled away and undid his jeans. A triumphant smirk crossed the woman's lips as she fell back on the bed. She lifted her hips from the sheets and slipped her faux snakeskin pants off. Birkhoff leered as her pale skin came into view. Her legs were short, but nicely shaped, and he followed them from her pink painted toenails to the hem of her black t-shirt(that hit mid-thigh). She quirked a brow at his staring, but didn't mention it as she undid her bra. As a man, a woman's ability to remove that particular type of undergarment always astounded him and Birkhoff watched in hopes of learning the secret to doing it (or rather, undoing it) with it being an awkward event of strap snapping and pulling. The smirk on Fred's lips widened. It was kind of like watching a dog listen to a high pitch sound. Complete with head tilt.

She decided to pants him whilst he was distracted. He barely noticed as his jeans were yanked to the floor. Birkhoff pulled his shirt off and Fred seized the opportunity to place an almost chaste kiss on his lower abdomen. The man sighed, brushed her hair back from her shoulders and slipped into bed behind her.

His arm tight around her waist, he ordered, "Go to sleep."

Winifred let out a whine, but snuggled deeper into the sheets. They pair drifted off soon enough, and slept through out the night without so much as a kick between them.

a/n: not my fav. chapter, but the next is better. There is… stuff in it. It'll be good, I promise.