(Thanks for your support! If you guys were expecting some fluff then I don't think you'll be disappointed with this chapter! XD At least I hope not! The song I'm using reminded me so much of Edward and Winry's point on love. It's Danger in Love – Patti Smyth and Don Henley. Enjoy!)
Chapter Eleven
Now, I don't want to lose you, but I don't want to use you
just to have somebody by my side.
And I don't want to hate you,
I don't want to take you, but I don't want to be the one to cry.
Entering the room, it gave off a depressing essence that made her want to retreat. Messy as the room was, she managed to trudge over to the only furniture in the room: the bed. Sitting down at the foot, she could feel Edward shifting awkwardly into a sitting position that matched her own. Not wanting to put him in an offensive position, she remained silent until the one right next to her shattered it.
"You still have the locket." It was drearier than how Alphonse stated it. Why is that so? Did he not believe in her loyalty towards him? "To be honest, I didn't think you would." Her eyes widened at his admittance. Gazing at him, her eyes were full of disbelief but then they softened with realization: he was finally telling her what was on his mind. Waiting to hear more, she was disappointed that he didn't speak after that.
And that don't really matter to anyone anymore.
But like a fool I keep losing my place
and I keep seeing you walk through that door.
"Give me a good reason why I wouldn't?" She declared then looked to Ed, but found her vision traveling Sighing, she ran a hand through her blonde strands with apprehension. The tension seemed to thicken at her thoughts. Putting a hand on his, not holding it, her sapphire irises seep into the side of his golden hued ones. They seemed so distant, so out of place until the contact. Both of them felt flustered, though they haven't really acknowledge each other's awkwardness. Winry breathed gradually and closed her eyes at her next set of words.
"I love you, too." This caused Edward's gaze to lift and take notice of her expression. His heart reacted violently at the words, but his brain was raking for some sort of response, but it literally screamed at him to push away, but his heart told him otherwise. "I saw what was inside the locket, but I wasn't sure what to believe." Her voice started to show off a little nervousness due to his silence.
"I…"
Though Edward tried to say something, Winry continued willfully, "But then I thought about it, and I wondered if you'd say something like that to me and not mean it. When you wouldn't tell me what happened, it made me wonder if was all a lie…"
"Winry, I -!"
"It's not a lie is it?"
But there's a danger in loving somebody too much,
and it's sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust.
There's a reason why people don't stay where they are.
Baby: sometimes, love just aint enough.
Now, I could never change you, I don't want to blame you.
Baby, you don't have to take the fall.
Yes, I may have hurt you, but I did not desert you.
Maybe I just want to have it all.
Founding himself interrupted, his blood breached into a rush of frustration. Guilt soon settled in immediately at the words. A lie? No, that's not it at all! He wanted to say this, so badly! But his mind refused to work with him. "Edward?" Her voice was so soft and small; it made him wonder whether or not he was worthy. Worthy of her: Worthy to care for her. He was about to make her acknowledge his feelings, but the interruptions set him off track. He had enough thoughts to build an empire with. His life was too dangerous, even now that he's out of the World where no Alchemy existed.
The scars were still ever so fresh, in his physical and mental state. Sighing, he straightened of his posture to look at her. "Do you think it's a lit?" His intensified amber hued irises fixated firmly on her blue ones. It was always difficult to determine her actual eye color, and it just so happened to be vice versa. They changed from emotion to emotion. His lips pressed together in an earnest expression. Did she really think his words were lies? Did he force her in that direction? The words of love opened a new road for him, but also reminded him of the danger.
"I'm not sure." Winry responded truthfully, and Edward felt like reprimanding himself considering the fact that he had never told her the truth: The real truth.
"Don't think that: I should've said it before I left, but I was an idiot and left everything out in the open." His eyes had sincerity in them, but now they've metamorphosed to self-pity. "It's too dangerous, I've put everything into risk…"
"Put what into risk? ", Now desperate to get him to open up more to her. She felt bitter rage crawling up. "What are you talking about, Ed?"
"Nothing. Forget it." Winry felt tears of frustration burn at her eyes but she didn't let them fall immediately. It was a circle with Edward: nothing came to an end.
It makes a sound like thunder; it makes me feel like rain.
And like a fool who will never see the truth, I keep thinking something's gonna change.
"How can you say it's nothing?" Trying to coax him indirectly, her teeth gritted with the frustration of it all! "You're hurting me right now… With all the homunculi I've heard about, can't I take control of my own life? Edward: I don't want to live a life with secrets or lies. Can't you see that? Can't I help you through this?" Her words stung: he's hurting her? If he was the one doing the hurting, then was he really trying to protect himself from her? The realization stung like a salt trickling on an open wound.
"I'm sorry…"
"I don't want you to be sorry, Ed, I just want you to trust me." Trust? Of course, how could he be so brainless: his attempts were in vain since the day he swore to tell her everything after the danger was over. Is it? Or is just looking around the corner? Al once told him that he needed to hold on to what's left for the strength to continue. Can he put it all out on the table? Growing frustrated with himself: he didn't want to hurt Winry anymore. Not now, not ever.
Moving his hand to her cheek, if he couldn't express it verbally then physically was the answer. Gently pressing his lips to hers, he can feel he sharp breath intake. It was soft like a butterfly kiss. Pressing his temple to hers, his chest felt heavy, emotion piled up in his form, but he managed to drag them back to the hiding place. "I can't tell you, I would if I could but I can't." Winry could tell he was straining. "I –" His amber irises lifted into hers, "I love you… But I can't put you in danger."
And there's no way home, when it's late at night and you're all alone.
Are there things that you wanted to say?
And do you feel me beside you in your bed,
there beside you, where I used to lay?
And there's a danger in loving somebody too much,
and it's sad when you know it's your heart they can't touch.
There's a reason why people don't stay who they are.
Baby, sometimes, love just ain't enough.
Winry stared at him for sometime, and Edward had suspicions that she was infuriated. Feeling her sigh curl around his lips, even her breath smelled sweet. He felt as if she deserved better, but he didn't want her with anyone else. Her hand landed on the one he used to caress her cheek and pushed it down unto the bed with such gentleness that it surprised him.
"I want the truth Ed… We love each other, but we still keeping secrets?"
"It'll put you in danger if you knew…"
"Fine." Her tone was a mere whisper, "Fine." Her voice grew louder. She was supposed to be patient and tell Ed that she can wait, but hasn't she waited for the truth long enough? "It should be worth the risk… Ed." After that she left, feeling a ton of bricks of regret dropping on her chest. She saw Alphonse standing there and tears rimmed her eyes, she instantly turned to run upstairs and into her room and Alphonse expected a slam of Edward's door but it never came.
Peering inside to see his brother, walking through the door and shut it silently, he remained silent.
"I'm really screwed up, Al."
Baby sometimes love just ain't enough
(What'd you think? There was a hint of fluff, but I wanted a little drama to ensue:D Please review, and let me know your thoughts!)
