20th Sept 2010 (Mon): 4 months
Finally time to go back to school. I'm making an effort today, wearing a tight red and black dress with lace on the bodice and my New Rocks, footless tights and my leather jacket. A dress like this probably isn't the best idea because since having Morgan I have some pretty impressive curves, though mostly I'm back to the size I was before. Too late now I'm already in the parking lot having dropped Morgan at the nursery, she fussed at first but soon settled. I get the feeling this is going to be an interesting day to say the least.
I go inside and head to my locker, as I do so I'm grabbed by the arm by a guy I don't know. Managing not to make a sound so far, I'm about to tell them where to go when I hear "Let go of her, she tends to get violent when she's grabbed…" Knowing exactly who spoke, I turn to him and carry on like nothing happened. "Thanks Ricky, you didn't have to do that but I appreciate it."
"I know he grabbed you which was stupid in the first place but also he had hold of you where the cuts are. I think I'll have to be on guard today, you're making the male student population crazy" he replies. I told him about what I'd done on Saturday as soon as the others had fallen asleep and we spent most of Sunday evening talking.
"Really? I don't see how, it's not like I'm fresh meat today" I don't get it, really I don't.
"Well you showed up in a dress, that alone would be enough but you vanished just before school ended when you had Morgan then came back at the start of the year for a day or two then disappeared again."
"So it's not that they think I'm attractive but that they're trying to figure out what I've been up to?" I frown.
"Who said anything about not being attractive?" Ricky says in fake shock "Even if it wasn't for the fact that no one really knows for sure what you've been through recently, you'd still have the guys in this school drooling over you. But it doesn't matter what they think."
"Because..?"
"You're mine even if no one else knows it though maybe I should put a 'property of Ricky Underwood' sticker on you somewhere" he laughs as a guy I recognise from my English class stands near us trying to decide whether it's safe to talk to me or not. I laugh then open my locker, putting up a copy of a picture of Ricky holding Morgan when she was first born, I love it because they both have the exact same look of shock on their faces. It's adorable though I'd never tell Ricky that, he'd never forgive me!

Before I know it, I'm sat at our table eating lunch with everyone. Well at least I'm trying to eat. "Will you stop staring at me? It's getting stupid and annoying now"
"I can't speak for all the guys here but Lou…you're hot! When did that happen?" Jack points out.
"I don't get it, I'm no different to any other day" I grumble.
"We've never seen you in a dress before. Ok it's still a very 'you' dress and your still in those awful boots of yours but it looks good, great even" explains Grace.
"All right I look like a girl, now can we please get over it and move on? I've had enough people staring and asking questions so far today and I've had up to here" I moan grumpily while Ricky laughs giving my knee a squeeze secretly under the table. They all quickly change the subject to the films from the weekend though I notice Ben and Jack looking every now and again.
"Should've agreed to that stupid sticker idea" I mutter making Ricky laugh harder.

After school I pick up Morgan and head to Dr Fields. He asked me to come in after Ricky told him what I did Saturday with everyone in the house. We've changed the structure of my sessions, more like an informal chat while we play with my daughter. We've found that I'm more open in a relaxed atmosphere with less pressure. I don't respond well to pressure.
"How was school today? First day back after your trip" He looks so funny playing peek-a-boo.
"The actual lessons were fine, I'd caught up with my work thanks to Ricky making sure I kept on top of things. It was just the amount of attention I was getting, everyone staring and whispering about me. It didn't help that I wore a dress, I swear every other comment was 'wow your fit' and it pissed me off" I say taking Morgan from him.
"Surely your friends helped you out?"
"That's just it, they were doing it too. Not the whispering but the constant staring. Apart from the girls, the only guy to help was Ricky and even then his suggestion was to put a big 'property of…' sticker on me. By lunch I was sick of it so said something to them, they apologised but kept doing it. Who knew dressing like a girl would cause so many problems" I sigh.
"Well it's good you confronted them, not just kept it to yourself. It shows your making progress by addressing the issue instead of turning it inwards" We talk a bit longer then I put Morgan in her car seat, she pouts at me like she doesn't want to go but when I tell her Ricky will be over tonight she soon brightens up. Definitely a daddy's girl.

18th Nov 2010 (Thurs): 6 months
Ricky has Morgan tonight so I'm taking the opportunity to do some research. I've been thinking about going to England at Christmas to see my family, it feels important to go since everything that's happened this year. I want to take Morgan but I need to make sure there'd be no problems with the travel and accommodation before I say anything to Ricky. I want to know all of my options before I fully commit to the idea. I spoke to Amy about it briefly and she thinks it would be a good idea, I must admit it would be nice to show Morgan where I grew up and the sights of my home country. It'd be even better if Ricky can come too though he might prefer not to have my family inflicted on him, I wouldn't either if I had a choice.