AN:So I decided to break this up into two chapters cause the flow was a little weird. Next: Team TARDIS goodies!

The two songs I used were "What's the Matter" by Milo Greene (blame spn) and YOU SHOULD KNOW WHAT THE OTHER ONE IS. HONESTLY GUYS. EVEN I DO AND I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT 60'S MUSIC.

Thanks to all my beautiful reviewers, you guys keep me going on this!

Chapter 10

Cardiff

Present Day

Rose

Honestly, she was just happy to get her hands on a drink.

"The End Of The World Club", it was called. Just some folding stools and a bar set in front of a decrepit old forties hotel. It seemed that the whole part of Cardiff that hadn't evacuated was here. Humans were so weird. Give them a good enough reason, and they'd act like it was their last day on Earth.

Look at her, talking about her own species like he would. Well, she wasn't really one of them anymore. All they shared was a scientific name. She had seen so much more, been to so many more places, learned more than anyone else-

had your heart broken so many more times

lost so much more than they ever will

Stop it. she told herself.

She had no idea what was going on back at Torchwood- didn't care. All that mattered was that she didn't have to be there, didn't have to see his face when he woke back up. She'd done her part, told everyone the handful of things they absolutely needed to know (which was pretty much nothing). She'd earned her solitude. It didn't stop her from expecting to see Jack at any moment in order to check on her, but she'd earned it.

Someone had hooked up an iPod to the stereo, the song fizzling into the cracks of her muddied head.

what's the matter

what's the matter with you lately

God, she needed another drink. Anything to block out the pit of guilt forming in her stomach.

oh your love is never good enough

oh, your love is lost on me

Rose heard footsteps approaching behind her. She didn't know who it was. Didn't care.

dreamer you will waste your time

do you ever wonder why

we go on and on and on

love is gone and gone and gone

"This isn't like you."

The Doctor slid into the chair beside her, and she shoved her drink away. Figures.

"Go away." she muttered.

"Why are you avoiding me?"

"Why the hell do you think?"

He placed a cautious hand on her wrist. "It's alright."

She swatted him away. "Like I believe that."

He grabbed her hand so tightly that she had no choice but to look at him. "You did what you had to do to protect the people you loved." he said. "I wouldn't have expected anything else from you, Rose."

He said her name softly, almost like a prayer, as if he still can't believe she's sitting here and not on the other side of that unforgiving wall.

She held his gaze for a fraction of a second, then brushed her hair out of her face, trying hide her damp eyes.

"Are you alright?" he asked, even though he knew the answer already. It was a mere formality, an attempt to show compassion.

She smiled awkwardly. "I'm the bloody queen of alright." That, of course, is TimeLord for not alright at all.

There was a brief pause.

"So tell me about your new companions." she said, picking the safest subject she can think of.

"Oh, well...that's quite the story."

"Amy?"

"Crashed in her backyard when she was seven, then proceeded to disappear for fourteen years. Don't look at me like that, it was unintentional! The TARDIS was acting up! She's bloody fantastic, but nothing on you."

"Suck up."

"Shut up. We did have a run in with the Silence a couple years ago, about two years according to her current timeline, and-"

"What?"

"It's just...now that I think about it...what happened with her and Rory is nearly identical to what they tried to pull with you...right down to the name of the-"

She stopped him before he could go any further. "Don't you dare start blaming yourself. You didn't know, it's not your fault you got played." Then, quieter. "It's mine."

"Stop that. Rory...Rory the Roman, he's Amy's husband. He has the unusual accomplishment of having died multiple times. Got erased from history once, spent two thousand years as a Nestene duplicate, destroyed an entire Cyberlegion, and that's the only beginning of the list. And he's a nurse. From Leadworth."

The next song started up, and Rose recognized it almost instantly.

Hey Jude

Don't make it bad

take a sad song and make it better

She elbowed the Doctor. "Remember this song?"

He grinned back at her."I took you to the Beatles concert after that fiasco with the werewolf-"

"-and I said you owed me a 'decent music trip'- "

"-and I snuck us backstage-"

"-and Ringo kept hitting on me-"

They both grinned like idiots at the memory, and Rose noticed a couple of people had gotten up to dance.

Hey Jude

Don't be afraid

"This new body of yours, can it dance?" she asked.

"I, uh, I don't-"

"Oh, come on!"

you were made to

go out and get her

He dragged her onto the grass-turned-dance floor, and she awkwardly draped her arms over his shoulders.

the minute

you let her under your skin

then you'll begin to make it better

The stars faded into a soft blur, her tired eyes glazing over. She tried to shake them open, but he only pulled her in tighter, and she closed them, resting her head softly on his shoulder.

and anytime you fell the pain

hey jude

refrain

dont carry the world upon your shoulders

She started to think better of what she was doing and lifted her head up. "I don't mind." he murmured softly, and she slipped back down.

for well you know that it's a fool

who plays it cool

by making his world a little colder

Spinning. They were spinning. She liked that.

hey jude

dont let me down

you have found her, now go and get her

remember to let her into your heart

then you can start to make it better

This song was really a bad choice, given the circumstances. Too late now.

and dont you know that its just you

hey jude

you'll do

the movement you need

is on your shoulder

"So tell me about River." she said, eyes still closed. She knew he'd been avoiding it, it's what he does.

hey jude dont make it bad

take a sad song and make it better

remember

to let her under your skin

then you'll begin to make better

"River..River is complicated, absolutely confounding. We're on different timelines going on opposite directions- every time I meet her she knows me differently."

"You're still not answering the question."

"Well, she's..she's funny and smart and sassy. She hates my hats and can fly the TARDIS and knows more than anyone like her should. She's a bit trigger-happy, too." I like that, I don't know why, I really shouldn't, but I like that. Supposedly we're together in the future but I'm still getting to that point, and she's unique and strange and had anyone but you popped up I would have said she was mine just so she wouldn't correct me, but now I'm not so sure...

It took him a moment to realize he's said all of that out loud.

Rose opened her eyes and raised an eyebrow quizzically.

"I'm not sure what River means to me." he said. "And I'm not sure what you mean either. But it's alright, what you did. You don't have to hide from me."

She was quiet for a long time before breathing an answer.

"Thank you."