Title: This Tear
Author: SydGillyKC
Author's Notes: Thanks again to everyone who reviewed! And thanks for understanding about school frequently getting in the way. I'm happy to be able to say that I just qualified for National Honors Society, so thankfully I'm still doing well (despite a major case of senioritis lol). But I love writing this story so much, it's what gets me through my schoolwork every day. Thanks for making this so fun! And without any further ado, here's chapter eleven!
* * * * * * * * * * * *
"Though I luckily didn't find any other tumors, that suggests that the cancer's spread to her blood-stream. We're going to have to start some more aggressive treatment. It also means she's going to need surgery as soon as possible," the doctor explained to them.
All eyes turned on Sydney. She simply stared down at the table, refusing to look up. No one spoke. The room went unnaturally silent.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Chapter 11: Schedules
Sydney lay completely still, hearing the machine that surrounded her come to life. A circular extension from overhead lowered, pointing at her head. She knew it was emitting radiation directly at her tumor, trying to eliminate as many of the cancer cells as possible. Slowly, she took a deep breath and let out a sigh, being careful not to move her head even the slightest bit.
This was her fifth session of radiation. When the doctor had told them about her downturn, he'd planned a new, more aggressive course of treatment. She was now having chemotherapy three times a week and radiation treatments on both the tumor in her brain and the one in her chest. The plan was shrink the tumor in her lung as much as possible before removing it. That way, there would be no permanent damage to her lung. The goal for the surgery was two weeks. For them to be able to remove it that quickly, though, she had to start coming to the hospital five days a week. The weekends were the only days she had without treatment. With chemo Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays and radiation every week day, she often spent the rest of each day sick or sleeping. The two days when she only had radiation weren't so bad usually. Unless she was still recovering from a rough session of chemo, she usually only felt slightly tired after the treatments. The radiation thankfully didn't cause many side-effects. Her hair was thinning slightly from where the radiation was aimed at, but it wasn't noticeable. She was fortunate enough not to have lost all her hair from the chemo. That was probably the only way she'd lucked out in the last month, she thought gloomily.
The good news was that it was a Friday and she had a treatment-free weekend ahead of her. The bad news was she had one more chemo session ahead of her when she returned home. Dr. Anderson was moving back home after her session, though. With her new treatments started and having no unusual side- affects, he was no longer needed to stay with them 24 hours a day. Weiss would drive her to her radiation treatments and Dr. Anderson would stop by the cabin those three times a week to administer her chemo. Her life had become perfectly scheduled, something it hadn't been in a long time. With all the missions and all-hours meetings she'd had at SD-6 and the CIA, she'd never been able to follow any sort of schedule with her life. Now that she finally could, she hated the reason for it. I just can't win, she thought to herself.
Her thoughts suddenly shifted to Vaughn. She hadn't really had much of a conversation with him since that night Dr. Anderson had told them about her new tumor. She'd either been at the hospital or sleeping from the treatments or in the bathroom getting sick. Much to his despair, she'd refused any help when she was sick. She read while the chemo dripped into her arm from the IV. By the time it finished, she was usually asleep. She normally slept for less than two hours before she was awoken by horrible nausea. Then she'd simply lock herself in her bathroom and stay there until she'd emptied her stomach completely. Then she'd go back to bed, a basin sitting on her nightstand all the time just in case. So far, she'd been able to make it to the bathroom every single time, but she knew even if she'd have to use the basin, she wouldn't let him help. This was something she simply had to do by herself, whether he understood it or not.
Suddenly, the extension from the machine retracted and the door to the room opened. Sydney snapped back to her surroundings and saw the technician coming in to rearrange the machine to now emit radiation at the tumor in her chest. She stretched out her arms, preparing for the next period of stillness.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
"We'll see you on Monday!" Weiss called to Dr. Anderson as he climbed into his car. Weiss then re-entered the house and shut the door. He turned to Vaughn, who was sitting at the table. He walked over and dropped into the chair across from him. "What a week," he said, sighing.
"Tell me about it," Vaughn agreed, leaning back and rubbing his eyes. They were both silent for a moment, when a noise came from down the hall. Through Sydney's open door, they both heard her coughing. Seconds later, they heard a door close, most likely the one that led to her bathroom. Both Vaughn and Weiss looked at each other, their expressions serious.
"Maybe you should go check on her," Weiss said. Vaughn shook his head.
"She won't let me. She refuses any help when she's sick," Vaughn told him.
"Why does that not surprise me?" Vaughn was about to reply when they suddenly heard footsteps coming from the hall. They both turned and saw Sydney coming out from the hall and into the main room. She looked up when she was about ten feet from the table and stopped when she saw them both looking at her.
"Hey," she said to both of them.
"Hey. How are you?" Vaughn asked. He noticed how pale and drawn her face looked. He could tell she'd just been sick. Her eyes looked slightly red.
"I'm okay. I just came to get a glass of water. The paper cups in my bathroom ran out," she replied.
"Here, sit. I'll get it for you," Vaughn said, getting up and holding out his vacated chair for her. To his surprise, she didn't argue and went over and sat down. He walked into the kitchen.
"I'll get you some more of those cups when I go out later," Weiss told her as he picked up the newspaper that lay on the table in front of him.
"Thanks. anything interesting?" She asked, nodding her head at the paper.
"Not unless you consider the birth of local quadruplets interesting," Weiss replied. She smiled a little. Vaughn walked back in and set the glass of water down in front of her before sitting down in the chair next to her.
"Thanks," she told him as she took a few sips. After a moment of silence among the three of them, she slowly got up from her chair, still holding the glass of water. "I think I'm going to go back and lie down for a while," she said.
"Okay. If you need anything-"
"I know," she said, cutting Vaughn off. She smiled at both of them before turning and walking back to her room, shutting the door behind her.
"She doesn't look so great," Weiss said, putting down his paper.
"No she doesn't," Vaughn agreed, getting up suddenly and walking down the hall to his room in order to end the conversation he knew was headed in a direction he certainly did not want to go in.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Sydney felt much better after she'd slept a few hours, and was even able to join Vaughn and Weiss for dinner. She usually didn't have much of an appetite after chemo, but she managed to eat a bit, mostly to avoid the worried looks Vaughn kept giving her. She was relieved, though, when the food didn't make her feel nauseous and gladly ate as much as she was able.
They stayed at the table after they were finished, just talking. Weiss started to go into some story about going to a bar with Vaughn and Vaughn having a little too much to drink. Vaughn was blushing, but Sydney was doubled over with laughter. It was like hearing about this whole other side of him. Weiss finally finished his story and both his and Sydney's laughter gradually died down.
"I don't know why you guys find that so funny," Vaughn said, shaking his head. Weiss opened his mouth to explain when the phone suddenly rang. They all looked at each other in confusion. They hadn't received a single phone call the entire time they'd been out there. There was really no one to call. The phone was simply there in case of an emergency. Weiss shrugged and went over to pick up the phone.
Sydney and Vaughn watched the one-sided conversation intently. Weiss's replies were short and didn't reveal much, but at one point he brought his hand up to rub his forehead, the gesture clearly indication that the call was bad news. After less than five minutes, he hung up the phone and turned to them.
"What was that about?" Vaughn asked.
"That was CIA. Apparently, your father," he began, turning to Sydney "was contacted by Sloane through e-mail." The color immediately drained from Sydney's face as she felt her stomach drop.
"What about?" Sydney asked.
"Let's just say we have confirmation that both of your covers have been blown. He knows. And he knows about you too," Weiss finished, turning to Vaughn. Vaughn closed his eyes and took a deep breath, absorbing the information. Of course, they'd all prepared for this, but that didn't make it any easier to hear. "So it looks like we'll be here for a while," Weiss said, looking at both of them. Vaughn and Sydney both stared blankly at the ground. Silence hung in the air, much like it had the night they'd found out about the tumor in Sydney's chest. Finally, Sydney couldn't take it anymore.
"Excuse me," she said softly, quickly getting up and walking down the hall to her room. Vaughn and Weiss both looked at each other.
"Did they say if Sloane was on to Jack's location?" Vaughn asked Weiss.
"They don't think so, but they're taking extra measures to protect him just in case," Weiss replied. Vaughn nodded absently. "You should go talk to her."
"You think?" Vaughn asked, unsure.
"Yeah," Weiss replied. Vaughn nodded again and made his way to Sydney's room. The door was closed and he debated whether or not to knock. Afraid she might not let him in if he did, he opted to just go in. As quietly as possible, he opened the door and walked inside. The room was dark, illuminated only by the moonlight. Once his eyes adjusted, he saw her sitting in the window-seat, staring out the window. She looked at him when he closed the door behind him. He paused where he was, waiting for some kind of response from her. She simply turned and looked back out the window. He took that as the permission he needed to go over to the window seat and sit next to her, facing away from the window. He turned his head sideways to look at her.
"I was just thinking. I'll never have to set foot in that office again. Or sit through one of his briefings and fantasize about killing him. Or worry about hiding my counter-mission from Dixon on a mission," she told him. Though these things would normally be something to celebrate, her face held only sadness.
"At least everyone's alive and safe for the time being," Vaughn reminded her.
"You're very optimistic, Vaughn. Has anyone ever told you that?" She asked him, finally turning to look at him.
"My mother used to tell me that," he told her. A ghost of a smile crossed her face.
"I guess we're both in this for the long run now," she said, her voice almost a whisper. She turned and looked back out the window.
"We weren't before?" Vaughn questioned her, confused.
"You may not have been. There was much less a chance that you were exposed than me."
"I would've stayed no matter what. Syd, I told you already. I won't let you go through this alone," he said softly. She looked back at him, clearly affected by what he'd said. Without thinking, he reached out and laid a hand on her cheek. She leaned into his touch, not taking her eyes off his. His eyes held so many emotions, as she was sure hers did. Suddenly, his eyes changed. They no longer looked sad. She now saw something else in them. She felt her heartbeat accelerate when he leaned forward, slowly coming closer and closer to her face. When he was only inches away, he looked back into her eyes, as if asking for permission. She looked back at him. Apparently, it was enough. He closed the last distance between them and pressed his lips to hers.
To be continued.
A/N: I know you guys have waiting for that for a while, and I figured if I wanted to have some parts play out the way I want them to and not have them be out of character, I'd finally make it happen. Oh, and a few notes about the beginning part. As I'm sure you all figured out, she was in the radiation machine. That's the best I could describe it based on observing the machinery for a research paper I once wrote on brain tumors (go figure) and from getting some information from my dad, who's a doctor. So I didn't just make that all up lol. Okay, well I think I'm actually going to start the next part right now, because there are a few plot points I'm anxious to get to and my weekdays get so insanely busy. So keep reviewing and I may have it up within a day or two. Reviews make me go faster, hint hint lol.
Author: SydGillyKC
Author's Notes: Thanks again to everyone who reviewed! And thanks for understanding about school frequently getting in the way. I'm happy to be able to say that I just qualified for National Honors Society, so thankfully I'm still doing well (despite a major case of senioritis lol). But I love writing this story so much, it's what gets me through my schoolwork every day. Thanks for making this so fun! And without any further ado, here's chapter eleven!
* * * * * * * * * * * *
"Though I luckily didn't find any other tumors, that suggests that the cancer's spread to her blood-stream. We're going to have to start some more aggressive treatment. It also means she's going to need surgery as soon as possible," the doctor explained to them.
All eyes turned on Sydney. She simply stared down at the table, refusing to look up. No one spoke. The room went unnaturally silent.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Chapter 11: Schedules
Sydney lay completely still, hearing the machine that surrounded her come to life. A circular extension from overhead lowered, pointing at her head. She knew it was emitting radiation directly at her tumor, trying to eliminate as many of the cancer cells as possible. Slowly, she took a deep breath and let out a sigh, being careful not to move her head even the slightest bit.
This was her fifth session of radiation. When the doctor had told them about her downturn, he'd planned a new, more aggressive course of treatment. She was now having chemotherapy three times a week and radiation treatments on both the tumor in her brain and the one in her chest. The plan was shrink the tumor in her lung as much as possible before removing it. That way, there would be no permanent damage to her lung. The goal for the surgery was two weeks. For them to be able to remove it that quickly, though, she had to start coming to the hospital five days a week. The weekends were the only days she had without treatment. With chemo Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays and radiation every week day, she often spent the rest of each day sick or sleeping. The two days when she only had radiation weren't so bad usually. Unless she was still recovering from a rough session of chemo, she usually only felt slightly tired after the treatments. The radiation thankfully didn't cause many side-effects. Her hair was thinning slightly from where the radiation was aimed at, but it wasn't noticeable. She was fortunate enough not to have lost all her hair from the chemo. That was probably the only way she'd lucked out in the last month, she thought gloomily.
The good news was that it was a Friday and she had a treatment-free weekend ahead of her. The bad news was she had one more chemo session ahead of her when she returned home. Dr. Anderson was moving back home after her session, though. With her new treatments started and having no unusual side- affects, he was no longer needed to stay with them 24 hours a day. Weiss would drive her to her radiation treatments and Dr. Anderson would stop by the cabin those three times a week to administer her chemo. Her life had become perfectly scheduled, something it hadn't been in a long time. With all the missions and all-hours meetings she'd had at SD-6 and the CIA, she'd never been able to follow any sort of schedule with her life. Now that she finally could, she hated the reason for it. I just can't win, she thought to herself.
Her thoughts suddenly shifted to Vaughn. She hadn't really had much of a conversation with him since that night Dr. Anderson had told them about her new tumor. She'd either been at the hospital or sleeping from the treatments or in the bathroom getting sick. Much to his despair, she'd refused any help when she was sick. She read while the chemo dripped into her arm from the IV. By the time it finished, she was usually asleep. She normally slept for less than two hours before she was awoken by horrible nausea. Then she'd simply lock herself in her bathroom and stay there until she'd emptied her stomach completely. Then she'd go back to bed, a basin sitting on her nightstand all the time just in case. So far, she'd been able to make it to the bathroom every single time, but she knew even if she'd have to use the basin, she wouldn't let him help. This was something she simply had to do by herself, whether he understood it or not.
Suddenly, the extension from the machine retracted and the door to the room opened. Sydney snapped back to her surroundings and saw the technician coming in to rearrange the machine to now emit radiation at the tumor in her chest. She stretched out her arms, preparing for the next period of stillness.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
"We'll see you on Monday!" Weiss called to Dr. Anderson as he climbed into his car. Weiss then re-entered the house and shut the door. He turned to Vaughn, who was sitting at the table. He walked over and dropped into the chair across from him. "What a week," he said, sighing.
"Tell me about it," Vaughn agreed, leaning back and rubbing his eyes. They were both silent for a moment, when a noise came from down the hall. Through Sydney's open door, they both heard her coughing. Seconds later, they heard a door close, most likely the one that led to her bathroom. Both Vaughn and Weiss looked at each other, their expressions serious.
"Maybe you should go check on her," Weiss said. Vaughn shook his head.
"She won't let me. She refuses any help when she's sick," Vaughn told him.
"Why does that not surprise me?" Vaughn was about to reply when they suddenly heard footsteps coming from the hall. They both turned and saw Sydney coming out from the hall and into the main room. She looked up when she was about ten feet from the table and stopped when she saw them both looking at her.
"Hey," she said to both of them.
"Hey. How are you?" Vaughn asked. He noticed how pale and drawn her face looked. He could tell she'd just been sick. Her eyes looked slightly red.
"I'm okay. I just came to get a glass of water. The paper cups in my bathroom ran out," she replied.
"Here, sit. I'll get it for you," Vaughn said, getting up and holding out his vacated chair for her. To his surprise, she didn't argue and went over and sat down. He walked into the kitchen.
"I'll get you some more of those cups when I go out later," Weiss told her as he picked up the newspaper that lay on the table in front of him.
"Thanks. anything interesting?" She asked, nodding her head at the paper.
"Not unless you consider the birth of local quadruplets interesting," Weiss replied. She smiled a little. Vaughn walked back in and set the glass of water down in front of her before sitting down in the chair next to her.
"Thanks," she told him as she took a few sips. After a moment of silence among the three of them, she slowly got up from her chair, still holding the glass of water. "I think I'm going to go back and lie down for a while," she said.
"Okay. If you need anything-"
"I know," she said, cutting Vaughn off. She smiled at both of them before turning and walking back to her room, shutting the door behind her.
"She doesn't look so great," Weiss said, putting down his paper.
"No she doesn't," Vaughn agreed, getting up suddenly and walking down the hall to his room in order to end the conversation he knew was headed in a direction he certainly did not want to go in.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Sydney felt much better after she'd slept a few hours, and was even able to join Vaughn and Weiss for dinner. She usually didn't have much of an appetite after chemo, but she managed to eat a bit, mostly to avoid the worried looks Vaughn kept giving her. She was relieved, though, when the food didn't make her feel nauseous and gladly ate as much as she was able.
They stayed at the table after they were finished, just talking. Weiss started to go into some story about going to a bar with Vaughn and Vaughn having a little too much to drink. Vaughn was blushing, but Sydney was doubled over with laughter. It was like hearing about this whole other side of him. Weiss finally finished his story and both his and Sydney's laughter gradually died down.
"I don't know why you guys find that so funny," Vaughn said, shaking his head. Weiss opened his mouth to explain when the phone suddenly rang. They all looked at each other in confusion. They hadn't received a single phone call the entire time they'd been out there. There was really no one to call. The phone was simply there in case of an emergency. Weiss shrugged and went over to pick up the phone.
Sydney and Vaughn watched the one-sided conversation intently. Weiss's replies were short and didn't reveal much, but at one point he brought his hand up to rub his forehead, the gesture clearly indication that the call was bad news. After less than five minutes, he hung up the phone and turned to them.
"What was that about?" Vaughn asked.
"That was CIA. Apparently, your father," he began, turning to Sydney "was contacted by Sloane through e-mail." The color immediately drained from Sydney's face as she felt her stomach drop.
"What about?" Sydney asked.
"Let's just say we have confirmation that both of your covers have been blown. He knows. And he knows about you too," Weiss finished, turning to Vaughn. Vaughn closed his eyes and took a deep breath, absorbing the information. Of course, they'd all prepared for this, but that didn't make it any easier to hear. "So it looks like we'll be here for a while," Weiss said, looking at both of them. Vaughn and Sydney both stared blankly at the ground. Silence hung in the air, much like it had the night they'd found out about the tumor in Sydney's chest. Finally, Sydney couldn't take it anymore.
"Excuse me," she said softly, quickly getting up and walking down the hall to her room. Vaughn and Weiss both looked at each other.
"Did they say if Sloane was on to Jack's location?" Vaughn asked Weiss.
"They don't think so, but they're taking extra measures to protect him just in case," Weiss replied. Vaughn nodded absently. "You should go talk to her."
"You think?" Vaughn asked, unsure.
"Yeah," Weiss replied. Vaughn nodded again and made his way to Sydney's room. The door was closed and he debated whether or not to knock. Afraid she might not let him in if he did, he opted to just go in. As quietly as possible, he opened the door and walked inside. The room was dark, illuminated only by the moonlight. Once his eyes adjusted, he saw her sitting in the window-seat, staring out the window. She looked at him when he closed the door behind him. He paused where he was, waiting for some kind of response from her. She simply turned and looked back out the window. He took that as the permission he needed to go over to the window seat and sit next to her, facing away from the window. He turned his head sideways to look at her.
"I was just thinking. I'll never have to set foot in that office again. Or sit through one of his briefings and fantasize about killing him. Or worry about hiding my counter-mission from Dixon on a mission," she told him. Though these things would normally be something to celebrate, her face held only sadness.
"At least everyone's alive and safe for the time being," Vaughn reminded her.
"You're very optimistic, Vaughn. Has anyone ever told you that?" She asked him, finally turning to look at him.
"My mother used to tell me that," he told her. A ghost of a smile crossed her face.
"I guess we're both in this for the long run now," she said, her voice almost a whisper. She turned and looked back out the window.
"We weren't before?" Vaughn questioned her, confused.
"You may not have been. There was much less a chance that you were exposed than me."
"I would've stayed no matter what. Syd, I told you already. I won't let you go through this alone," he said softly. She looked back at him, clearly affected by what he'd said. Without thinking, he reached out and laid a hand on her cheek. She leaned into his touch, not taking her eyes off his. His eyes held so many emotions, as she was sure hers did. Suddenly, his eyes changed. They no longer looked sad. She now saw something else in them. She felt her heartbeat accelerate when he leaned forward, slowly coming closer and closer to her face. When he was only inches away, he looked back into her eyes, as if asking for permission. She looked back at him. Apparently, it was enough. He closed the last distance between them and pressed his lips to hers.
To be continued.
A/N: I know you guys have waiting for that for a while, and I figured if I wanted to have some parts play out the way I want them to and not have them be out of character, I'd finally make it happen. Oh, and a few notes about the beginning part. As I'm sure you all figured out, she was in the radiation machine. That's the best I could describe it based on observing the machinery for a research paper I once wrote on brain tumors (go figure) and from getting some information from my dad, who's a doctor. So I didn't just make that all up lol. Okay, well I think I'm actually going to start the next part right now, because there are a few plot points I'm anxious to get to and my weekdays get so insanely busy. So keep reviewing and I may have it up within a day or two. Reviews make me go faster, hint hint lol.
