Moments in Time – Act Three, Scene Three

Di·as·po·ra - /daɪˈæspərə/ dahy-as-per-uh] –noun

1. any group migration or flight from a country or region; dispersion.

2. any group that has been dispersed outside its traditional homeland.


January turned into February quickly, and even sooner into March. As the cherry trees started to bloom, Kuga Natsuki threw herself into her studies with desperate hopes of not failing the classes she'd neglected to attend during that hectic time. She'd missed far too much content and there was only so much that Mai and the others could help her make up. She was struggling, desperate for knowledge of what she knew to be right and true. Everything that she could learn in books was fact, no one could dispute it, there were no hidden meanings in the fact that two plus two equaled four. It gave her some semblance of control over her out of control life.

Even in her desperate search for knowledge, it was only in sleep that she felt the most at peace, with Shizuru's quietly slumbering body curled up next to her. Natsuki knew that this illusion would only last so long, that soon she would be forced to face the fact that Shizuru was graduating from school, that soon she would be gone.

Shizuru had sat the entrance exams soon after her birthday. Natsuki had gone down to watch them work on that burnt-out husk of a bridge while Shizuru took the one for Fuuka – the one that Natsuki had forced her into taking. Guilt had filled her as she watched Shizuru back herself a small lunch to eat during the examination's break. She couldn't let Shizuru do something so selfless for her – just because Natsuki could not stomach the idea of Shizuru leaving.

And yet she'd let Shizuru go. She hadn't said anything, she'd just sat, paralyzed with fear. Studying that day had been a complete waste and Natsuki had hated herself for it. She'd sat on that beach for hours, seeing but not really seeing, thinking of Shizuru and wondering why it was that they could never be happy together.

When she'd come home, Shizuru had said that the test had gone already, but not spectacularly well.

Natsuki had secretly hoped that she'd failed, so at least one of them could get away from the land of Fuuka.

Almost as soon as she'd thought it though, she'd regretted it. Shizuru had to stay, Natsuki would not be able to survive otherwise.

And so, to cope, she'd pushed herself even further in school, struggling to bring her marks up so that she would not have to repeat another year. She couldn't stomach the idea of being in the same class as Nao, no matter how potentially entertaining the classes would be. For once in her life, Natsuki actually had friend about whom she cared deeply, several actually, if you counted Mai and the others. Social interaction came easier to her now, and she relished the opportunity to actually interact with her peers instead of avoiding them.

Mai and the others helped her with school, and soon, the sting of Shizuru leaving before she woke up every morning did not hurt so much.

Natsuki could almost pretend the pain had gone until that day in mid-March when she'd awoken to see Shizuru still sleeping next to her.

The sight had frozen her, stolen her breath away and made Natsuki want to drift back into sleep and pretend that she had never returned to wakefulness to catch sight of Shizuru's misstep. She inhaled slowly and quietly.

Shizuru was graduating today, the ceremony was at noon and no one had class because of it. It was nine-thirty now, they could lie in bed for a few more minutes before Natsuki was going to be forced to wake Shizuru up.

She inhaled once more, watching as the small lock of hair that had fallen over Shizuru's nose in sleep fluttered up and down as she breathed quietly. She looked so peaceful in sleep, so blissfully unaware of everything that had happened between them. Natsuki wanted to capture Shizuru's relaxed face and keep it in a box somewhere, where no one could touch it but her.

Shizuru stirred then, and Natsuki shifted to reach over and carefully brush her fingertips against that lock of hair. Her voice was still thick with sleep and she swallowed before speaking. "Hey, wake up," it sounded so lame, so completely and utterly unromantic.

Natsuki cringed and pulled her hand away as Shizuru rolled onto her back and slowly opened her eyes. They were clear, as though she had not just spent the past hours sleeping.

Did she even sleep? Natsuki wondered, shifting into a more upright position, propped up on her elbow, acutely aware of the fact that she was wearing very little under her tank-top and shorts. How easy would it be to just lean forward, kiss Shizuru, and take all her enjoyment from that moment? To take retribution from Shizuru's foolish actions during that time, to claim it roughly with her lips, it would be so easy.

Natsuki allowed herself to slump back down on the bed, pushing the thoughts out of her mind as she tried not to blush. She wasn't succeeding, and was thankful that Shizuru was not looking at her.

She almost wished that Shizuru would. To be caught in such an action would make something happen, it had to.

"What time is it?" Shizuru asked, her voice betraying her tiredness.

Natsuki rolled away to stare at her alarm clock, blinking at the digital readout. Ten. Shizuru had to be at school in half an hour.

Damnit, Natsuki thought. I had meant to wake her up before this. "If you don't leave soon, you'll be late to your own party," She said, pulling the blanket back over herself and preparing to go back to sleep.

"Natsuki…" Shizuru sat up, staring off into the distance. "You're not coming in today?"

Natsuki pulled the blanket over her head and muttered, half into the pillow, "Just go, I'll see you at school."

All of a sudden the hurt and the humiliation of the carnival of souls came back in full force. She knew that Shizuru had just been teasing her, and that it meant nothing. But she had been trying so hard to be better and for Shizuru to just assume meant that nothing had really changed.

She longed to say that she was not that person anymore and that Shizuru should respect her for trying to better herself. Their fragile calm, however, was so precarious that she did not want to risk losing it to truly speak her mind.

The mattress dipped as Shizuru stood. Natsuki peeked out from under the covers to see her hurriedly pull the shirt that Natsuki had loaned her months ago back over her exposed bottom and begin to walk away. "Alright," Shizuru said, not turning as Natsuki let out a quiet 'eep' and hurriedly pulled the covers back over her head.

She turned then, looking over her shoulder with a sly smile on her face. She had known, that that… that evil woman had put on that show on purpose! Natsuki silently fumed as Shizuru leaned over and whispered, laughter clearly evident in her voice, "Thank you for waking me up."

Into the pillow, Natsuki groaned.

Shizuru showered and left, closing the door quietly behind her. Natsuki waited until her cheeks stopped burning and she could get the image of Shizuru's ass out of her head before coming out from under the bedcovers. She felt like a pervert, like she was defiling Shizuru's good name somehow by thinking about her in that way.

Was she like that? The sort of girl that you had to stay away from, because she would steal your virtue?

She didn't know.

All she knew is that she was deeply, deathly, and horribly, in love with Fujino Shizuru.

Needless to say, her shower was cold that morning.

Natsuki hurried up to the school, the ceremony drawing crowds of parents to the school. She hated the people, a useless crush of normalcy, and cut off the main path as soon as she could. Here the spring air was cooler, and she felt as though she could finally breathe again.

She paused, inhaling and exhaling in the cool air, when the smell of freshly turned earth reached her nose. Someone was gardening near her, and Natsuki stepped towards the sunny corner near the edge of the main school building and came face to face with Sakomizu, her sometimes-informant.

He shrugged at her and turned his attention back to the flowers that he was carefully taking out of their greenhouse six-packs, and placing into little holes that he was making with a trowel. Natsuki settled against a tree nearby and waited, he was sure to have something to say to her about her marks.

He had been on her since the carnival had ended to bring them up, and she had been trying.

His curly hair bobbed up and down as he moved, "You realize that if you don't bring your marks up substantially on your finals, there is a good chance that you'll be held back because of all your absences this year, Kuga-san."

Natsuki flinched. She had hoped it wasn't quite that bad.

"I've been studying," she said lamely.

He laughed, "And your attendance has greatly improved!" He turned to smile at her over his shoulder, "I hope that you can pass so I won't have to be your teacher anymore!"

Natsuki rolled her eyes, sarcasm cutting through her voice like the bullets she had been so willing to shoot at all that had opposed her just months ago. "You're a wonderful person, sensei."

"I do try." He laughed.

From across the clearing there was a sound of branches breaking underfoot and Natsuki glanced around. Seeing no one, she thought nothing of it, until a voice from just off the main path cut clearly through the trees, "Ara… Natsuki is in danger of failing? Perhaps then I shouldn't graduate either."

Natsuki turned, her movements jerky, to see Shizuru holding her diploma in outstretched hands, a wicked smile on her face. Horror filled her mind as Shizuru let some of the most important documents she'd ever earned or received fall to the ground with a clatter.

Her hands free, Shizuru clapped them together and Natsuki swallowed, desperate for her to shut up and not say anything else. This was getting embarrassing, "I can help Natsuki study."

"Idiot!" Natsuki yelled, crossing to Shizuru in three quick strides and picking up her diploma and inspecting it for any damage. She handed it back to Shizuru and pulled her away from Sakomizu and his flower garden, into the trees and away from the more well-traveled walkway.

They walked in silence for a few minutes, Natsuki not really sure what to say. She wasn't sure how she was supposed to react to Shizuru teasing her the way she had been doing all day. Things had been so strained recently, it was as though something had changed and suddenly they were able to be themselves again.

She wasn't sure she should even say anything; she didn't want to ruin the moment. If Shizuru was being normal, she didn't want to push her back to where they had been.

That horrible time.

She didn't want to think about it.

"You weren't serious…" she said at length.

Shizuru tapped her diploma roll pensively on her chin, "You are failing, I won't have you be two years behind." She seemed quite serious and Natsuki looked at her sideways for a moment before shrugging. Best not to push it.

"Shizuru…" She whined quietly. Well, she wasn't above whining a little bit to get her way. She did not need Mai being a studying task master all over her if Shizuru was going to do it and she certainly didn't want both of them getting up to that. The idea was horrifying, she would never have a social life again.

Not that she had had much of them to begin with.

"This is important for your future, Natsuki." Shizuru said seriously, her gaze resolutely fixed on a point somewhere in the distance, away from where they were standing.

Why won't you look at me?

Natsuki knew why she wouldn't, that they were basically flirting in everything but name. That there was so much between them that was left unsaid that maybe it was better if they just didn't talk about it. That they didn't look at each other when they could help it, that nothing every happened.

She sighed, running her hand through her hair, "I know… I just wish…"

"Me too. I still long for that oblivion."

Color drained from Natsuki's face, how could she even think something like that, let alone say it? To want to be dead again? How could she even dare think such a thing? "Don't." Natsuki said through tightly clenched teeth.

"Mn?" Shizuru asked, turning to face Natsuki for the first time, her expression schooled carefully blank.

"Promise me you won't go back there. Not without me, Shizuru." It was a plea, desperate and pathetic, but not something that she could easily take back. She had to make Shizuru know, to make her see, that there was nothing in the world that was more important to her than Fujino Shizuru.

Shizuru's face pulled downwards into a frown and she looked away. Natsuki reached out and grabbed her shoulder, pulling her close and into a barrier of personal space they so rarely broke. Shizuru's body was warm against her own, they fit together so perfectly. Natsuki wanted to turn Shizuru in her arms and kiss her, the heat growing deep inside her and blossoming across her cheeks as she thought about the idea of kissing Shizuru.

Her voice sounded choked with tears as she pleaded with her best friend, "Please."

For me.

Shizuru nodded curtly and pulled away from Natsuki, her fingers trailing down Natsuki's arm until just their hands were touching. "I promise." Her tone was earnest and Natsuki hoped she was being truthful. "Come on, Tokiha is having a picnic."

End Act Three

So glad that this act is done. I felt as though a lot of real healing for Shizuru and Natsuki could not come when they were both in school together, so this is the beginning of the next stage in their relationship from here on out.