Chapter 11
"Reith, be careful, I don't know when General Agreian will be back," Justina said. Reith smiled at her.
"I'll be fine,"
"I'll keep a look out in the hallway, but I can't promise I'll be able to detain him long enough for you to get out," Reith nodded.
"I won't be long…I just have to say goodbye,"
"I understand," Justina took the set of keys out of her frock pocket and selected a small sliver one. With a click the door unlocked.
"I'll be out here," she said.
"Thank you, Justina," The young priestess smiled although it seemed unnatural to her normally set features. Reith couldn't help but admire how pretty she was, if only she smiled more.
Agreian's room was majestic to say the least. A rich blood red, patterned carpet and panelled walls on which many special swords were mounted. Everything in the room seemed to fit perfectly – the chest of drawers and desk were all a deep, shining mahogany, the bed a four-poster with deep crimson sheets. And in them was Calintz. He was the only thing that looked out of place in this glorious room. Reith ran over to his side. His hair was loose and lay over the pillow, framing his head and creating a striking contrast between the dark crimson of the pillow. She frowned at the bruises and scratched that adorned his face and shoulders. He could have been dead she thought.
"Calintz…?" She whispered softly, leaning close to his ear. Nothing came of her words however, he just lay there, impassive, devoid of any evident life. Her eye caught sigh of a picture on the bedside table. It was of two boys, they must have only been about ten or eleven. The taller had his arm around the shorter. They looked happy, not yet acquainted with the inequalities of life. Judging by the silvery, white hair Reith imagined one of them to be Calintz. But who is the other? General Agreian? It must be…
She turned back to the unconscious man, her hand drifting up to stroke his forehead.
"Calintz…Please wake up…" She sat in silence for what seemed an eternity, just staring at the man whom had been so energized and vigilant only a few days before. She thought she could see a flutter within his heavy eyelids, a stirring of dreams, a sharp quickening of his breath.
"Calintz…You are there, aren't you? You just can't find the way out…"
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Was death this endless? Like a spiral of infinity declining to negative darkness. It was comforting, a place you didn't have to think. Regrets…do they disappear when you die? I thought they were suppose to, so why are they still here, contaminating my tranquillity?
I can see what I want here…I can imagine my life the way it should have been. Fuget would never have been ravished by those damnable Yason, I would have grown up with a home. No one would have died…Hugo and I would be together as friends…things wouldn't have gotten in the mess they did.
Would the Tears of Blood never have existed? And what about the Alliance? Agreian would probably never have become General…seems kind of funny somehow. But I like it.
Huh? Is there someone here apart from me? What is that noise…no, not a noise…a presence…a feeling. Go away! Let me be here and never know anything else. I don't have a body anymore, I don't have mind…just this darkness…
"Calintz…" Huh, again! I don't care what it is, I won't see it!
"But…you have to…" What? The darkness never ends, so dark that it is the light. And if I just concentrate on it long enough, just enough to see through the fabric of its colour…then I can distinguish what it is…
It is nothingness, nothingness in its purest form…And I am compelled to throw myself to it, to give myself to it completely. It is everything and it is nothing. It's all I've ever wanted and all I've ever hated.
"No, Calintz!" The voice comes through, piercing, shattering. I spin around to see…Reith…But how can she be here? And why can I see her, why can I hear her?
"Calintz, don't go any further, please,"
"Leave me alone…" She comes closer, touches my arm. And I can feel it, I can feel the electricity of life in her fingers and I gasp.
"You can't hide here, Calintz…it's not your time yet, don't you see that? There are people that love you, despite what you think. There are things you still have to do,"
"Forget it, I can't go back now,"
"Of course you can! I'm here, I'll help you, every step of the way,"
"But I don't want your help…" She looks t me, her big, brown, eyes seem to read every line of my soul and I want so much to let her, to give her permission to know me but I can't. I can't…
"You can Calintz…" I shake my head, breaking the stare.
"This is not life, this is death! And how is that a way to live?"
"What if I don't want to live?"
"You can't say that…You're life has only just started, Calintz. You could do so much in the future,"
"Whatever…"
"Please…I want you to live…You don't know what the future will be like, it could be great,"
"I doubt it,"
"I promise you the future will be bright," I look at her and there is solid certainty in those soft, brown eyes. A certainty that defies my comprehension, as if she really does know the future. But how can she know the future when she has forgotten the past?
"Trust me…" Is her last words as she takes my hand. I glance back at the ever present vortex of non-existence and how appeasing it seems to me. But then, so does Reith. So does her words, her touch…Maybe she is right, it is not the right time for me to depart…
I let her lead me through the darkness. She knows the way as if she was born with it engrained in her mind. And I feel safe, perhaps safer than I have ever felt since before Fuget was destroyed. She never lets go of my hand, not once…
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He awoke in a bed all too familiar to him. In a room he had seen so many times, in many different lights and through many different eyes. But the first thing he saw was the last thing he remembered from his dream – if it had been that.
"Reith…?" he said hoarsely. She smiled down at him, her hair braids falling over her shoulders and onto his chest. He noticed she was holding his hand tightly.
"I'm so I found you, Calintz…I was worried," A tear had fallen from her eye. He felt it land on his bare shoulder, warm and moist like the kiss of life. But what was she crying for? He was awake wasn't he? Or was it just another dream?
"…What's the matter?" he asked. She looked at him, her eyes filled with a deep pity and sorrow.
"You," The answer came as a shock. Had he done something wrong? Had something happened? Wait…! Something did happen…Oh God…Everything flooded back like a monsoon, panic sweeping over his body like rabid wolves. He struggled with the bed sheets, trying to get up, but it was useless: his body failed him.
"Calintz! Calm down, please!" Reith cried, attempting to restrain him.
"Agreian is a murderer! Get out of here, Reith, before he comes!" Her eyes widened in surprise.
"What are you saying? Agreian hasn't hurt anyone,"
"He tried…he tried to have me killed!"
"Killed? Agreian?" She shook her head forcefully, "No, you've got it wrong, Calintz, Agreian saved you,"
"Saved me? What are you saying?"
"An intruder came in – a Yason. Agreian came to get you from the cell when he found the Yason,"
"Huh?"
"He killed the intruder…he's been very angry ever since the incident. He's asked for soldier's everywhere – even one outside my room!"
"Are you saying Agreian knew nothing about Sdei?"
"Sdei? You mean the Yason intruder? Of course he didn't…" Calintz's head was spinning. He didn't know what to think or what to believe. He tried to think back to the incident, even though it hurt. It was true that Sdei hadn't said anything of Agreian…In his last few minutes of consciousness, he had heard the Yason scream, but his vision had been too blurry to distinguish anything. He recalled someone holding him tightly, not roughly but in a caring way. He thought he had imagined it at the time, that it was some sort of illusion to distance himself from what was happening to him. But…perhaps it wasn't? Agreian, did you really have nothing to do with Sdei? Did you really…save me from him? I thought you wanted to punish me…I thought you were angry at me…It's true I never thought you'd go that far…
"Calintz, are you alright?" Reith looked down at him, startling his thoughts.
"Uh…I don't know…"
"General Agreian insisted on keeping you here and nursing you himself. I really wanted to see you, but he wouldn't let anyone in…"
"So, how did you get in?"
"Justina has a key. I explained I needed to talk to you before I leave tomorrow,"
"You're leaving?"
"Mistress Ladrienne said there was a doctor in Notia who she thought might be able to help me get my memory back. Justina's going to take me there tomorrow. I just couldn't leave without saying goodbye to you, Calintz…" He looked at her closely for the first time since he had awoken. There was fear in those innocent eyes and hope. He wished he could have done more for her, she had saved him more than once. But he wasn't a psychiatrist or a doctor – he was a soldier, the captain of a mercenary group. How could he possibly help her? He took her small hand in his once more, taking comfort in the warm skin against his own. For some reason whenever he was with her, he felt safe. It was an odd feeling, one he was not accustomed to. Safety was something that came well devised plans and strategies, from sharpened swords and perfected skills – not from an amnesiac girl. But yet it did, and he could not deny it.
"How long will you be away for?" he managed, although his voice was breaking.
"I…don't know. But, when I see you again, I'll hopefully have my memory back!" her face broke into a wide smile, a smile only a child could manage.
"Yes…"
"Why do you always look so sad, Calintz?" Again she said something that surprised him. Was she always this unpredictable?
"It's just the way I am,"
"There must be a reason?"
"There isn't," She sighed, looking at him glumly.
"Well, I think you should have more rest, you still look awful," She touched the bruises on his face, making him wince.
"Agh! Enough already!" She giggled as he frantically pushed her hands away.
"I guess I better go before General Agreian comes back and finds me here. I know he won't be pleased,"
"Yeah, you're right,"
"Calintz, take care and don't do anything dumb,"
"It's you who'd do something dumb!" She frowned.
"I'll do my best!" she beamed at him then walked to the door.
"I'll have so much more to say when I've got my memory back!" she called, waving. He nodded in response and with one more gullible smile she left the room.
