11. He wants to move on, but he doesn't want to forget
"If it can make Ran nee-chan happy, I'll… I'll"
"May I borrow Edogawa-kun for a bit?"
The tea coloured haired girl showed up at the most unexpected time, but it could've turned out worse if she didn't.
Like, he trying to speak and smile when his own words sound more ridiculous than any childish fairy tale he had ever heard.
Like, the last word coming out of him more like a whimper.
He was lucky she dragged him away from the scene.
He followed Haibara obediently out of the agency. Though it's not like he could do anything else with her hand locked around his wrist.
"Oi, Haibara!" Seriously, he never knew she had so much power in her, being a girl and all.
They were already by the gate of Prof Agasa's house by the time she stopped in her tracks.
"You love her, don't you?" He never saw she in such state, flustered, completely lost her cool, for something other than the organisation.
And also, he didn't expect that coming.
The boy couldn't help but tense at the words, and how she saw through him just like that.
He hung his head low, looked sunken into thoughts. But his fists clenched again, knuckles white as sheets.
"Yeah, I do. I love her more than anything else in this worlds."
"Then what's stopping you, from doing that?" She now looks more furious than ever, "The organisation isn't in the way anymore."
He kept silent.
"Tell me! What's stopping you from doing that? I didn't help you bring down the organisation and sacrifice so much for nothing!"
It was the first time she yelled so much, straight into his face. All of her words went straight through him like bullets. But they were all blurry and her voice eventually died down.
It was then he finally decided to look up, only to find the expression on her face similar to his.
"Ne, Edogawa-kun, do you know there's something called 'You're right in front of her, but you can't tell her you love her'?"
"Since when did you become so soft like a girl?" He smirked sarcastically. "And anyway, you're wrong about my situation."
He waved goodbye and walked back home, leaving the girl wondering alone.
It's more like, I'm right in front of her but I can't tell her.
I'm not allowed to tell her.
He stared longingly into the evening sky, the same shade of violet-ish blue her eyes are in.
There was a time, when he soared through the sky without worries.
It's about time, Ran, for you to find someone else to love you.
It's about time when you completely erase the name 'Kudo Shinichi' from your life.
He could almost see the stars coming out, decorating the sky with sparkles and glitter.
Sparkles, as in her whole-hearted laughter back in the days, when they never thought something like this would happen.
Something he cherishes so much that he'll do anything to hear again.
And this is his chance.
He never saw Akatsuki Kazuki again since their first meeting.
And also, Edogawa Conan cannot remember since when calling Akatsuki through Skype before her sleep had become one of Ran's habbits.
Sometimes, even when she's so late from work that she yawns in every word she speaks, she would still bring herself to phone that man just for a 'goodnight'.
He knew, she accepted him.
There are times he would sneak up behind her door and check on what she's doing, but only to find her staring into her computer with that tiny smile lingering around her lips.
The scene brings him back memories he thought that had already faded away. Unexpectedly, it didn't make him want to rage or cry his lungs out. Staying silent, was the only thing he did.
There was a time, when she too talked to someone every night, but that was Kudo Shinichi.
There was a time, when he talked to her on the phone at the back of her door, while listening to her voice being filled with energy, talking about almost everything that had happened.
There was a time, when he's small enough to not need to put much effort in hiding himself behind the door.
The idea of their happy memories stabbed him through his chest like a knife.
He wants to move on, but he doesn't want to forget.
The most painful of memories come from those which reminds others of the happy past.
Author's blabber: And so the game is on! For those who wonder about if the ending's still going to be ShinRan, I assure you of that, since Akatsuki's going away soon one way or another. :P Having a lot of ideas for this story right now, might consider updating once again soon.
