A/N: I make a little jump into the future; I hope you don't mind.

Also some things might seem OOC for Alexis but from my experience what goes on in this chapter makes a person act OOC.

Six Months Later

"Physically you both are fine" is how Dr. Lee started, "But since it's not coming naturally, you may want to start looking into other methods"

The unfamiliar smell of failure clouded the room. It felt like sinking; watching the world around you slowly slip away.

Patrick put his hand on her shoulder, "Thanks Kelly" he said to his colleague before she offered a smile and walked out.

Crouching down to where she sat on the table he looked her in the eyes, "Are you okay? We don't have to do this. I told you I love the life we have"

His words were the right ones and a part of her believed he meant them…but the other part of her couldn't erase the memory of his face when he told her that he wanted to have a child with her.

"I'm fine; we knew this was a distinct possibility" she said the words coming out technical and robotic.

It was a realistic view; that's what she always leaned on…and yet the truth was she couldn't completely wrap her head around the fairness of it all. Three times…three times she had become pregnant on accident…a fluke. Now that it was something wanted, prepared for, longed for even it was something she couldn't accomplish. She had no control over the situation and it frustrated her.

The beep beep of his pager interrupted them and he sighed, "That's my surgery"

"Go ahead"

Leaning down he kissed her, "I'll see you at home"

"Okay, see you then"

After he walked out she slowly pulled her clothes back on under the hospital gown and fought back the bitter tears that stung her eyes.

Walking out she ran into a smiling Robin pushing the double stroller. One look at the babies made her feel like she had been kicked in the gut, "Alexis" she greeted warmly

"Hey" she mumbled hoping to sound less pained then she felt.

"You okay?"

"Yeah fine, a headache, check up" she lied.

"Oh"

"Maybe next week we can do lunch…catch up" she added hoping to sound happier then she felt.

Puzzled Robin nodded, "Okay…if you're sure" fell on deaf ears.

OoO

Wiping the leftover tears she checked her makeup in the car mirror and reapplied blush were the tears had stolen it. Then she painted a smile on her face and made the trek up through the lake house door.

When she came in she was worried about the quiet and found her way back to the playroom. Cracking the door the room was dark except for the glow of the television. The sight alone was enough to make warm fresh tears puddle in her eyes the emotion of the day overwhelming her.

Sonny sat on the couch; Molly sleeping on his lap, Kristina curled to his side.

"What are you guys doing?" she wondered aloud.

Kristina turned to her and hissed, "Shhhhhh!"

Smiling Sonny gently lay Molly down and walked over her in the hallway, "We're watching West Side Story"

"Isn't that a little old for her?" she asked.

Hearing her Kristina turned, "No, it's not! Last year we read Romeo and Juliet and this is basically a modern re-telling of the same sort of story. Plus mama it's so romantic. They were so different and they fell in love anyway"

Dimples ablaze Sony looked to her as she rolled her eyes, "When did she become such a smart" and then whispered, "Ass"

He shrugged, "Want some coffee"

"No thanks Daddy!" Kristina answered.

Shaking his head he closed the door, "And you? I know you want some coffee" he teased.

"Does that come with an IV?"

Usually she would gripe with him about making himself so at home in her kitchen but she was too tired so she let him open cupboards and violate her espresso machine.

When he stopped she looked up, "What?"

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing"

"Come on counselor I've been banging your cabinets for five minutes and you haven't said anything. No smart ass remark, no kicking me out of your house…what's up?"

If he hadn't known her so well she would have thought to lie but it didn't make sense to anymore especially not when a fat tear rolled down her cheek, "I want a baby and I can't have one"

All she remembers next is the flood gates bursting open and him holding her up as she sobbed. When she finally pulled away she sniffled, "I'm sorry I'm such a mess"

"Don't be sorry"

His words were so gentle it made her want to wrap herself in them, "It's always you; the one who is there to hold me up when the world is crashing down on me"

The words spoken made them both stop and stare at each other. Sonny had resolved once that if she was happy, really happy he would let her be. Even if it was someone else who made her that way. He wondered if this was the opening to something; a crack in her resolve.

Then she spoke, "I'm sorry I shouldn't be talking to you about this…it's not fair to Patrick"

There were two choices…and the Sonny Corinthos he once knew would have went with the one that helped him to get what he wanted. Instead he went down the road less traveled, "The Lex I know let's nothing stop her from what she wants…and if this is what you want; you'll get it. I believe in your"

Her eyes shined at him and she shook her head, "You know if you're every looking for a side job, I think barista or bartender may be your calling" she teased as she touched the cup to her lips.

Three Months Later

"Last shot" Patrick said as she bent over in front of him.

"This cycle"

After he slowly rubbed the skin around it and blew, "Did it sting?"

"I can't even feel it anymore"

Pulling her close to him his mouth gently touched the soft skin of her collarbone, "Not tonight, can we just do it" she asked.

Her words cut him; she could see it as he pulled away, "What?"

"I didn't mean…I'm just tired"

Frustration marred the four walls of their bedroom and he rubbed his hands through his hair, "I don't want a baby" he said.

"WHAT?"

"Not like this. We can't even make love and have it not be about the baby"

"What do you expect Patrick; every time I have to pee on a stick I know that I am going to let you down"

"You're not letting me down"

"Oh I'm not; of course I am Patrick"

"Stop telling me how I feel"

"Why wouldn't you feel that way? You are stuck with a woman with three kids, one who is your age, but I can't even get my dried old uterus for on last hooray"

"Alexis"

"I know Elizabeth can have kids, what about Leyla; I'm sure she has a working uterus for you to use" she spat.

Words came from nowhere and by the end of her rant she was exhausted her body trembling. He stood at the door, "What do you want from me Alexis?"

"I don't know" she admitted tearfully unable to control the mood swings her body was dealing.

Coming to her slowly he sat on the bed and she fell into his arms as his lips touched her head, "Let's just be us again, okay? We can figure it all out later"