A Very Bad Idea
By: dharmamonkey & Lesera128
Rated: M


Disclaimer: Ummm, nope, we still don't own anything. We have, however, apparently become squatters in the sandbox that we crashed... so, umm... yeah. There we go


A/N: Thanks to everyone who has read and reviewed so far. For those who haven't left a review, please feed our fragile egos by letting us know what you think. Fanfic pays pretty crappy. All we get is psychic revenue. Please furnish us some of that psychic revenue. Pretty, pretty please.

UNF Alert: Why, yes, unfness continues! Hurray! Please note: the authors are not responsible for small house fires, ammunition cook-off, hot flashes, inconvenient episodes of full-body blushes, unexplained sweating or premature labor triggered by reading this type of epic unfness.


III. Spreading Holiday Joy, Part II

Pertinent Details on Scenario #3: Set during the episode 1x09: "The Man in the Fallout Shelter."


The soft echo of Booth's pronouncement hung between the pair as Brennan stared at her partner and he looked back at her in anticipation. Booth licked his lips as he watched her, a sudden nervous energy vibrating off of him like a racehorse confined at the starting gate before the opening bell had rung. After the two of them continued to stare at one another in heavy silence for a minute or two, each one lost in the swirl of his or her own thoughts, finally Brennan had had enough of waiting. Curious to see what he would actually do—since saying one thing and actually doing it were often two very separate things—she decided to take the initiative.

Glancing at one of the chairs they'd abandoned earlier, Brennan walked over, sat down, and looked at him expectantly. "So?" First move's to you, Boothso, let's see what you'll actually do.

Quite pleased that Brennan didn't seem to be backing down from the terms of the agreement they'd set, Booth felt a warm buzz began to build in both his mind and body. Ahhhh soooo, grasshopper. That is the important question, isn't it? So...so what? So how? So who? So, so, so...ho...ho...ho! Just like Santa. I'm just like Santa because I'm gonna give you the bestest fucking orgasm you've ever had, and then since I'm such a good boy, and I've been such a very good boy this year, I won't feel guilty that I got my own gift early this year because the number one thing on my Christmas wish list from Santa says 'Play with Bones' tits.' And, that means time's a wasting so, I need to get started, and what better place to start then to start with her titssince it's just as good to give as it is to receiveand that sounds like fun, yeah, so I think I'm gonna start there, so

"So," he said with a very sly smile, taking the seat next to her as his eyes flashed to the top of her tank top. "Are you gonna do something if I try to touch you this time since you didn't before?" Booth leaned into her, clearly invading her space as he let his warm breath fall across her cheek. "Do you have some kinda delayed reaction teed up for me that I need to know about or what? Because I'd hate to get started here and then have to worry about you trying to break my arm or something—" He stopped, lowered his voice again, and gave her a cocky smile as he added, "Unless you're into the rough stuff, and then that's a different matter altogether." He wagged his eyebrows at the last statement, obviously quite pleased with himself.

Staring at him for a few seconds, Brennan considered his words. The idea of tackling Booth on the platform ripping his clothes off but for the the silly elf hat he was wearing did have a certain appeal. However, since he was the one who seemed quite pleased with taking the lead on things, she was content to let him set the pace of how this was going to go since, in addition, she was still curious to know how far he'd actually take it. "I thought you knew by now—if I didn't want you to touch me, believe me, you wouldn't even have the opportunity to ask me that question," Brennan said as she stared at him, her pupils dilating with curiosity as she waited to see what his next move would be.

Smacking his lips happily, Booth nodded and began to hum softly to himself. For some reason, the dulcet tones of Alvin, Simon, and Theodore bounced around in his head as he stared at Brennan's chest, his head bobbing slowly to the beat. It seemed that something in the memory of the song's chorus—distracted slightly by the sight of her chest before him, combined with the fact that he knew he now had permission to touch it if he actually wanted to—caused Booth to start murmuring his own version:

"Christmas, Christmas time is near
Time for sex and time for cheer
I've been good, but I can't last
Hurry Christmas, hurry fast
I want you naked right damn now
Me, I want to touch your boobs
I can hardly stand the wait
Please Christmas, don't be late."

Tilting her head at him as she picked up on the absurdity of his words, Brennan shook her head, smiled and asked, "Booth?"

"Yes, Bones," he replied, never breaking beat with the song he heard in his head, as he continued to bob slightly as he looked at her in a very concentrated way, whistling the tune through his teeth.

"Why are you singing?" she suddenly asked, unable to contain her curiosity any longer. "I didn't think this little experiment of ours had a component that required the singing of lewd Christmas carols."

His eyes darting up to meet hers, he gave her a silly smile as his whistling fell silent. "I'm just setting the mood here, Bones," Booth said. "Just setting the mood."

"And, does 'setting the mood' require the observance of any other holiday festivities, Booth?" Brennan blinked. "I mean, since what we're really talking about is you getting in the mood, aren't we?"

Booth blinked at her a couple of times and then said, "Wait..wait. You just asked me a question."

"Yes," Brennan nodded.

"And what was it?" Booth said with one eyebrow arched and the other furrowed as he shook his head. "Cut me some slack here and just tell me what you asked without all that squintspeak crap getting in the way. I know it had something to do with sex, but I'm not sure what it was."

"Ahh," Brennan replied indulgently. "Okay. I was merely insinuating that perhaps while you were enthusiastic about the start of our experiment—since we're apparently really using that as code to refer to the impending sexual encounter—"

"Encounters, Bones," Booth said, clearly emphasizing the plurality of her vocabulary choice. "That's encounters with an 's.'"

Smiling at him, Brennan nodded. "My apologies," she said with feigned penitence. "You're correct. The terms of the experiment do say that you get three opportunities to make me scream God's name, so technically that may equate to more than one sexual encounter, as in plural. Right. Sorry."

"Damn straight," Booth nodded. He was already looking forward to using all three of his at-bats, and the idea of losing out on any one of those opportunities seemed too grim to even consider. I can't guarantee that I'll hit it out of the park and have you hollering the name of the Divine on the first or second try, Bones, but I can guaran-fuckin'-tee you that you'll come, each and every time, by the time I'm done touching you.

"Of course," Brennan ruminated with a sly smile. "The other way to look at my faux pas is to consider the fact that maybe I meant it as a compliment, Booth."

"Meaning?" What the fuck did you just say, Bones?

"Meaning," she replied, "that maybe I thought you only needed one attempt to actually achieve the goal you set for yourself as the overall purpose of this experiment."

Booth considered her words and then slowly shook his head. "Yeah," he said with a snort. "Nice try, Bones. But, somehow I don't think so. Whether you're so 'accommodating' or not, I don't see you giving me the benefit of the doubt in that sense, so yeah."

"Fine," Brennan said with an exaggerated roll of her eyes. "Fine. Believe what you want. You always do."

"Uh huh," Booth nodded, quite proud of her words. "That's right."

"So, anyway, Booth—" Brennan quickly said, trying to steer her partner's five-second attention span back to her original question. "Back to my original question."

"You squints certainly love playing Twenty Questions, don't ya, Bones?" he said. "Which question was that again? Since I've already forgotten about the last dozen or so you've asked—"

"I asked," she said, narrowing her eyes and shifting her tone a bit. "If there was anything else you needed to do to get in the mood since this is really about us having sex, isn't it?"

"As long as you scream God's name, I have no problem with that last thing there, Bones," Booth grinned as he squirmed a little in seat as he felt a tingle in his groin at the thought of having sex with his partner. "Hmmm, although, maybe if that's gonna happen I need to have you wear the elf's hat, huh?"

"And why's that?" Brennan asked. "Do you have some heretofore unknown sexual fetish involving headgear of which I was unaware, but that you'd like to confess to me?"

"Nope," Booth grinned. "I just think that naughty elves are sexy."

"Setting aside the fact that elves are mythical creatures from the Germanic cultural tradition that were often depicted as having magical powers," Brennan said as she paused and made a face. "I'm not certain that I recall there ever being a literary tradition of sexy elves."

"The elves in ElfQuest are sexy," Booth said with a knowing nod. "The female elves in there are crazy hot. Some of them ride wolves, too." He looked up and away for a moment, somehow managing to ignore the twinkle of the holiday lights as he remembered the last time he was at the comic shop and thumbed through one of the early Elfquest volumes admiring the way the artist had drawn the big-eyed, buxom, buckskin-clad heroine and how she—

"ElfQuest?" Brennan asked, jerking him out of his recollection. "And that is—?"

"A graphic novel," Booth explained with a crooked grin. "A very mature series of graphic novels intended for adults, Bones."

Trying to keep a smirk from coming onto her face, she managed to reduce the physical manifestation of her desire to tease him to a slight twitch of her lips as she said, "Do you mean a comic book series, Booth?"

"No, Bones," he said with a frown and a shake of his head. "If I'd meant comic books, I would've said comic books. Graphic novels are very different from simple comic books, I'll have you know. As I think I've explained before, Bones, they are much more complex and awesome in their storytelling and—"

"So, apparently ones like this ElfQuest contain...how did you put it—'sexy elves?'" Brennan asked.

Flushing a bit, Booth then let his embarrassment segue into an easy amusement as he said, "Well, there are lots of types of elves, Bones. Santa has his cute and cuddly hardworking elves—"

"Keeping in mind that the notion that Santa Claus was assisted in his toy-making endeavors by said elves only because the idea was perpetuated in Godley's Magazine in the 1870s in the U.S.," Brennan noted. "I don't believe that Santa's elves are supposed to be considered 'cute and cuddly' in their outward appearance, Booth."

"Oh, God," he muttered. "So, wait, are we back to slaughtering the Christmas spirit, huh?"

"I'm just saying—" she replied defensively.

"Nope," Booth cut her off, shaking his head. "No way. You are just going to have to take my word for it on this one, Bones. Real or not, there are lots of types of elves...cute and cuddly types, sexy types, and sometimes—if you're real lucky, you might just happen to get a cute and cuddly and sexy elf, like me." He cocked his head, stuck out his tongue and waggled it. "Pointy ears are optional."

"Ahhh," Brennan said, a look finally dawning on her face as she said. "I see, now."

"What?" Booth asked with only one of his eyes narrowed at her.

"Well, before I explain, let me just make certain we're on the same page here, Booth," his partner told him mischievously. Booth took his turn to roll his eyes at her as she then continued. "You do want to have sex with me, correct?"

Looking at Brennan for several seconds, Booth blinked and then automatically responded. "Fuck yes," he said, uncertain for a few seconds if he'd merely thought the response or had actually said it until he saw her small smile widen slightly.

"I thought as much," she nodded at him. "So, the next question is...are you going to continue wearing that elf's hat while we do that, Booth?"

Slowly, tentatively, Booth leaned in further towards her. Closing the gap between them, he gave her a toothy grin as he said in a husky tone, "Do you want me to?"

"It's completely up to you," Brennan replied as she looked down and watched him as he reached out and let his hands sneak underneath the fabric of her blue tank top.

Booth didn't pull the fabric aside when his hand made contact with the silky fabric, but he did let his fingers slide underneath the lace bodice as he explored the objects of his intense fascination and eager desire. When he realized that there was nothing impeding his access as his fingers touched the smooth skin of the top of her breast, he smiled at her with a silly, lopsided grin.

"You aren't wearing a bra," he observed happily.

Biting her lip, as Brennan felt a muted sense of excitement that had been faintly present since the beginning of their entire conversation grow subtly stronger, her voice grew a bit faint as she said, "I was earlier. I took it off when I thought I was going to sleep."

"And, why did you do that again?" Booth said as he arched an eyebrow at her. "This isn't your way of telling me you planned to seduce me from the very beginning of this crazy Christmas from Hell is it, Bones?" Because you might just be an evil, evil woman, the kind of evil, black magic-wielding woman that ol' Carlos Santana had in mind when he wrote that one song, but I just don't think you're quite devious enough to have planned this kind of thing all along. You're bad, Bones, but not that good.

Laughing at his words, Brennan shook her head slightly. "Would that I was that Machiavellian, Booth," she told him. "The simple fact of the answer is that, although I'm sure you're not aware of this—unless you have some women's lingerie fetish you aren't forthcoming about—"

"Now, hey," Booth interrupted, straightening up in his chair. "What is it with you and the insinuations of me having all these kinky fetishes? I'll have you know that I don't need any of those weird out crappy things in my sex life, thank you very much, because my sex life isn't crappy. Ergo, because of my sexual awesomeness, I'm quite good with just the plain ol' 'guy, girl, and a bed' scenario, Bones."

"Hmmm, well," Brennan observed. "Since beds are somewhat scarce, given our current physical locality, then perhaps you'll be more challenged than you'd originally anticipated by the strictures of our experiment, Booth."

"That's okay, Bones," Booth grinned. "I think you'll see I'm quite resourceful when I wanna be. And, for the purposes of our experiment, 'bed' can be very loosely defined."

"Well, then, it's a good thing I took my bra off, right?" Brennan asked, still feeling Booth's fingers gently rub small circles on the top of her breasts. The feeling was gentle and quite subtle, but very enjoyable in the rhythmic feeling of his intimate touch. "I mean, I didn't do it as a part of some grand plan to seduce you, I just took it off because they're not very comfortable to sleep in, Booth."

"But you're not sleeping," he countered. He then shook his head as he said, "I still don't know if I'm buying the accidental-experiment-seduction thing, here, Bones." He let his fingers move from the top of her breast a bit closer to the soft skin near her areola, but hadn't quite moved to touch her nipple as he continued his ministrations. "So far, it seems as if it's looking more and more like you planned to take advantage of me in my weakened state, ya know?" And, frankly, if this is the kind of abuse you intend to subject me to, then maybe I should let you take advantage of me more often, because this is pretty wicked awesome at the moment.

"First, I didn't think anyone would be awake when I came out here," she murmured as she observed how she was becoming increasingly distracted by the feel of Booth's slightly calloused fingertips on her skin. "Especially you."

"Lucky for you, like I've said before, I'm full of surprises," Booth said, his eyes riveted to her chest. I really think I could do this all night. Actually, there's no way I could do this all night. This is great, but we're gonna have to start kicking the can down the road a little here, Bones. Keep things moving here. "And second?" he prompted.

"Second," she continued. "You sound sort of like you're adverse to the idea of me taking advantage of you—if indeed that's what happened here." She blinked, waiting for his reaction, then quickly added, "and it's not by the way."

"Nope," Booth said, suddenly tired of hearing her talk about people seducing other people and people getting taken advantage of, but nothing actually happening beyond him copping a feel of her breasts in much the same way he'd groped her ass earlier. "I'm so totally not against the idea of you taking advantage of me, or me taking advantage of you, as long as someone is taking advantage of someone pronto, I'm all for it, Bones." Leaning forward a bit, he raised his other hand to her other breast and then moved with deliberate action. Using both of his hands, he pushed the tank top down at the same time he reached inside and lifted her breasts out. The elasticity of the tank top's material allowed for him to achieve his goal with remarkable precision. Allowing her breasts to rest on the stiff line created by the resistance of the tank top's straps against her shoulders, they stood firm and proud at attention for him. Licking his lips in almost abject anticipation, his glazed eyes danced brightly as he finally brought them up to looked once more into hers.

"What are you...a C-cup?" Booth inquired. "I gotta ask."

"Why?" Brennan could barely managed to squeak out the single-word response. The high pitch of her voice hurt even her ears, and she flushed in embarrassment at how much Booth had already affected her merely by touching her breasts when they hadn't even kissed yet or, done anything else, for that matter.

Shrugging his shoulders slightly, he explained with a sheepish look, "I've just always wanted to know—what's your size?"

"Does it matter?" she said, barely able to breathe as she saw Booth's eyes locked once again on her chest, but quite pleased with herself as she managed to control the pitch of her voice.

"Naaaw, not really," he replied. "Like I said, I'm just curious. I mean...I think they're about a C...a very full C, mind you, but they're not quite big enough to be a D, I think." To illustrate his point, he placed both of his palms directly over her exposed breasts and gently cupped them. Bouncing them up and down in the palms of his hands, almost as if he were weighing ripe pieces of fruit, Booth had a studious look on his face as he said, "Yeah, full-C, I'd say."

"Booth?" she managed to mutter, again her voice barely no more than a whisper.

"Yeah, Bones?" Booth answered, not even bothering to move his eyes from where they'd stayed glued to his hands on her tits.

"Booth, why are your hands on my breasts?" she finally croaked.

That particular question did get his attention, as he looked up at her and gave her a look that seemed to say 'are you kidding me.' He blinked at her several times before he finally said, "Do I really need to explain the finer points on that one to you, Bones?"

"I was just curious—"

Brennan's words were cut off as his hands dropped from her chest. Clucking his tongue at her, he wagged a finger and gave her a cheeky grin of chastisement. "Tsk, tsk, tsk, Bones." He looked up and away reflectively. "Huh," he murmured. "Obviously, I'm not doing things right here, and that means I'm never gonna get you shouting the Almighty's name, unless we turn off that scientific method thing you do, so, hmmmm..."

"Booth?"

"Quiet, Bones," he said, scratching his chin pensively. "I'm thinking here."

"But—"

"No 'buts,'" he retorted. "I'm not giving you any theoretical make-ups for days you missed in sex ed, huh? This is an experiment, after all—so all explaining will be done by demonstration only." Booth stopped and then grinned. "After all, I do much better when I can show instead of tell, right?"

"Fine," Brennan nodded. "I was just uncertain when you became such the expert on the comparative physiology and morphology of female mammary glands."

Tilting his head, Booth's smile widened as he said, "Not all of them, Bones. Just yours." He stopped, leaned in, and puffed a slight breath of warm air on each dark pink nipple trying to tease it into standing at attention for him. The first breath wasn't enough to achieve much of the effect he was after, but when he pushed his head a bit closer and breathed over each nipple a second time, he chuckled when he observed the response he was finally after as his moist breath was enough to cruelly tease her in exactly the way he'd intended from the very beginning. Yeah, that's it, baby.

"Better," he murmured with a nod. "Much better." He licked his lips and then brought his hands back to her breasts. Palming them once more, he gave each breast a very gentle squeeze.

Brennan felt stars start to peek at the edge of her field of vision as her heart rate increased and the steady hum of energy she'd felt began to blossom into a full-fledged arousal. "Booth—" she murmured.

"Shush, Bones," Booth rebuked her lightly, completely enthralled with her chest. "I'm working here."

"But, Booth—"

"Seriously, Bones," Booth said, his voice becoming firmer. "I need to see what I'm working with here, so pipe down over there, and lemme get on with getting on about things, huh?"

"And, this will do that how?" she managed to utter, although they both knew she was doing it not because she wasn't acutely aware of how Booth's efforts constituted his initial offering in what was to be their foreplay. No, in reality, Brennan had asked the question just to make things more difficult for Booth since that was one of her most favorite past times in which she delighted the most.

"Give me about sixty seconds, and you'll see, Bones," Booth chuckled. "But, first, like I said, I gots to see what I'm working with here. This whole little experiment is supposed to be about finding stuff out, right? It's all to gain knowledge, but, one teeny tiny little point that you neglected to mention is that since knowledge is power, what this thing really is about is who—"

"You think you can use your knowledge of my breasts to exert some type of power in what way exactly?" she suddenly asked, a distinct snippiness in her tone.

"Tits, Bones," Booth interrupted her with a small shake of his head as he ignored her other pertinent point about power and control. "When I'm here playing with them like this, since I'm still trying to decide whether it's more fun to ogle and fondle them or maybe fondle and suck on them, but either way, they're tits, so get it right," he told her.

Rolling her eyes, Brennan said, "And, any idea when you might decide to go on to that second part there, Booth?"

Grinning lewdly at her, Booth arched an eyebrow as he said, "The second part being?"

"Something about you sucking my tits?" she gave him a pointed gaze as she said the word.

Booth felt his mouth go dry as soon as the single word was out of her mouth. Fuck, that's hot, he told himself. She seriously wants me to suck her tits? he mused, the question suddenly echoing through his hazy mind. That's so fucking hot, he thought."Say that again," he told her. Again, Booth wasn't certain if he'd merely thought the words or actually verbalized the thought since his ability to maintain an inner monologue was apparently becoming more and more compromised as the evening progressed.

Smiling at him in a very sexy way, Brennan tilted her head as she said, "Say what again, Booth? 'Tits'?"

"Yeah," he nodded at her. "That," he said somewhat breathlessly. Say it again. And tell me what you want me to do to those amazing tits of yours. Tell me. Booth felt a twinge in his groin as his nostrils flared, despite his best efforts at concealing the full extent to which seeing her this way, and hearing her talk this way, drove him wild.

"Hmmm...what would you like to me say, precisely, Booth?" Brennan grinned at him.

"Ummm," he began, giving her another toothy grin. "How about the part about you telling me what you wanted me to do to them?"

"Ahhh," Brennan nodded. "I think that would be something about you wanting me to say that I might be very interested in you sucking on my tits?"

"Yeah," he nodded solemnly. "That's it." Definitely. That's it. Because I've been a very good boy this year, Santa. And I really, really deserve the chance to suck on those fantastic tits of hers. Right now. I've been very nice this year, so it's only fitting that I get my chance to be very naughty. With her. Tonight. So, if that happens, maybejust maybe this won't be the worst Christmas ever, after all.

"Do you find it pleasing when I speak like that, Booth?" Brennan blinked at him as she tried to maintain an innocent facade, but wondered if she was failing as miserably as she felt she was. Innocent? Who am I kidding?

"Yeah," he nodded again. You bet your sweet ass I do. Now. Right now. Because— "It's pretty hot."

"And, would it help to get you to make a decision about either groping my tits or sucking on my tits more quickly if I kept talking like this?" Brennan asked, trying desperately to maintain a straight face.

"It might, Bones," he said with an amiable nod. "At the very least, I don't think it could hurt."

"I see," she nodded. Then, Brennan finally allowed the evil smile, the one that had been threatening to show itself for some time, to fall across her face. Staring at him for a few seconds, she asked, "You know, Booth. While I can appreciate you wanting to hear me talk about how much I'd like to feel you wrapping that wet tongue of yours around my nipples, I'm not certain if I should comply with your request."

At the image her words painted, Booth felt his semi hard on get harder. "And why's that, Bones?"

"Because," she said with a very matter-of-fact shrug. "I think it might be giving you too much of an insider's advantage. In effect, it would be giving you knowledge that you don't possess about what might sexually arouse me the most out of things you might try to do in a random trial and error process—"

"Oh, fine," Booth grumbled, the annoyance clear in his voice. "But, just so we're clear, I liked it better when you were talking about me sucking your tits instead of you lecturing me about all that other boring insider trading crap."

Taking a very slow breath, one that she knew caused her chest to expand and made her breasts seem even perkier than they already were—not an easy thing to do consider they fact that the tank top had kept them in taut attention as they were ready and waiting for Booth once he'd made up his mind as to what he'd like to do—Brennan smiled as she said, "Are you sure about that? Because, even if I was being wordy about it, talking about sexual arousal—especially my sexual arousal—can only be a good thing."

Shaking his head with a sharp huff, Booth suddenly grumbled, "I think we're talking too much here, Bones."

"Well, I'm not the one who hasn't made his move," Brennan said wryly. Glancing from him to her chest and back again, she chuckled, causing her tits to shake in response, as she observed, "I believe I'm more than ready whenever you are, Booth."

"I'm still trying to decide what I wanna do first, Bones," he said, licking his lips in anticipation, letting his tongue slide along his lips slowly enough to tease Brennan a little. "Mmmmph," he grunted, his face alight with appreciation. "There's just so many good ideas—"

"Like what?"

"Well," Booth said. "That idea of using my mouth on you isn't too bad, but I'm still not sure whether I wanna use my hands or mouth to play with you."

"Do I get a vote?" Brennan asked as she nodded at him.

"No," he said firmly. "This isn't a democracy, Bones, it's a dictatorship where I'm the one who's in charge, so remember...this is my experiment. You're just assisting, remember?" Booth paused and then looked up at her, "But just FYI, in case you're curious, I'm leaning towards hands."

"Why?"

Booth lifted his hands so that his fingers pressed lightly on the top of each breast. Brennan hissed a bit as he lightly pressed his fingers into them and watched in delight as the skin bounced back from the imprint of his fingers. "Two reasons, really: A) because I wanna see what I can do with my hands before I escalate things to the oral stage and B) because they feel freakin' awesome, Bones."

"You touching me like that isn't going to be enough to get me to scream God's name, Booth," Brennan said, watching him curiously and forcing herself to keep from moaning in pleasure as he continued to play with her tits. "Just FYI," she said with a quiet snort, echoing his own words. "I think I feel fairly safe in saying your best opportunity might be in skipping straight to the oral part you mentioned."

"Patience, Bones," he murmured. "Patience. All good things come to those who wait, right?"

"Your call," Brennan said with a small shrug as she felt her heart begin to pound in her chest and wondered whether Booth could feel it. "But, I do believe that delayed gratification, in certain circumstances, can be highly overrated."

"True, true," Booth agreed. He stopped, and then playfully nodded at her as he said, "But, if it would make you feel any better, if you want to keep talking about oral sex, I have no objection to that, Bones."

"What?" Brennan replied. "Is this the part where you want me to say that I might have more than a slight interest in you going down on me, Booth?" Because that would be a significant understatement, she said to herself.

Narrowing his eyes, Booth swallowed once as he contemplated the image of his head between her creamy white thighs. Goddamn she's evil. I mean, I knew that. But, knowing it and then knowing it are two very separate things. She's an evil, evil cocktease.

"I don't know, Bones," he managed to say, despite how dry his throat felt. "But, if this is your way of asking me if I've gone down on a woman before, made her come, and then lapped up every damn bit of her afterwards, the answer is yes." He stopped, smirked to himself, and although he didn't let his hands fall away from her breasts, he used his fingers to emphasize his points as he said, "And I'm pretty fucking awesome at doing it, too."

"You sounds awfully sure of yourself there, Booth," Brennan hissed through clenched teeth. Fuck, he's so damn sexy when he gets so cocksure like that

"I am," Booth said with a wink. "And, with good reason, I can promise you, Bones." He stopped and then grinned at her again as he added, "Of course, if you're a very, very good girl, you might just find that out for yourself." He paused, narrowed his eyes and raised his chin as he smirked at her. "But first things first—"

Moving his palms in a side-to-side motion over the bottom of her breasts, Booth continued playing with them as if he'd been presented with some wonderful new toy. Oblivious to the world around him for a few minutes, he continued to caress, stroke, and tease every inch of her tits from the heavy softness of each bottom to the light pink sensitive skin of the tips of her nipples. Although she wouldn't admit it to him, each time he brought his mouth close to her breasts, but didn't actually make contact, she started to feel the lingering buzzing in her stomach begin to slowly ripple throughout her pelvic region. At last, Brennan couldn't take it anymore when Booth sat eyeing her chest and was mumbling to himself before she pounced.

"I mean, they're pretty good as far as tits go," he'd been saying. "Not the best, but a you've got a pretty solid set, Bones. Oh, yeah, sure, they could be just a little bit bigger, and then they'd be perfect—I mean, they are damn near perfect as is, but if they were just a little bigger, it really couldn't hurt. But, overall, you're really not doing too badly there—"

Reaching forward as he rambled on, Brennan grabbed a fistful of his white T-shirt and yanked him closer to her.

"Here's a hint," she breathed, almost out of air as she spoke from the frustration he'd been building in her. "My tits are the size they are, and if you don't like them, that's too fucking bad."

"I never said I didn't like them, Bones," Booth grinned at her sudden display of aggression. "As a matter of fact, I've complimented you several times. You've got an fantastic pair of knockers—"

"Fine," Brennan said as acknowledged his compliment with a tilt of her head. "Thank you—"

"You're welcome," he murmured lazily, his eyes returning once more to the object of his fascination.

"But," Brennan continued. "You're going to have a much, much better chance of making me scream if you put that mouth of yours to better use instead of sitting there all night rambling."

She then proceeded to demonstrate her point as she dragged Booth towards her and latched onto his lips as they met in what became more than a slightly frenzied kiss. At first, he was so surprised by her action that the abuptness of it was enough to make him temporarily non-responsive, giving Brennan a fair amount of latitude during which she had free range of his mouth. Starting with his lower lip, she began to suck on it like it was a fine chocolate truffle needing to be stroked with each swipe of her tongue until it dissolved in her mouth. Not content with just his lower lip, she tugged lightly on it as she let her tongue dart out of her mouth and proceed to press its way into his. Increasing the pressure with which she was seeking entrance, Brennan growled in frustration when Booth still didn't open his mouth quickly enough to grant her demand.

However, high or not, his body did still have some instinctual responses as he finally opened his mouth, his own tongue shot out and crashed into hers. The two of them then proceeded to duel, deepening the kiss as she lifted herself out of her chair, and pushed Booth further back into his, She then propped her knees on either side of his waist in the armless chair. Brennan was quite lucky that her momentum was supported by Booth using each of his hands to steady her position by placing a hand on each hip. Just as she started to feel lightheaded from a lack of oxygen, and knew she needed to pull away to grasp for air, she realized that Booth's fingers were pulling at the elastic of the black yoga pants that she had changed into from her gym bag before bed. As he pushed them off of her hips, the simple white panties she was wearing going with the yoga pants, Brennan reluctantly pulled away and gasped for air.

Staring at Booth, a nefarious look clear in his eyes, she finally managed to ask, "What are you doing?"

"Making you scream God's name," he said with a leer of his own. "Now, come 'ere," he grunted.

In an unusual move of compliance, Brennan allowed Booth to push her out of his lap, set her feet on the floor, and then spin her around so that her back was to him. With a ruthlessly efficient movement, he pulled her yoga pants and panties down in a single movement so that they bunched around her ankles. Staring at her pale ass with greedy eyes, he let his hands follow the curves of her posterior, and then dug his fingers into the base of her cheeks. "If you got a pretty good set of tits, you've got a really good ass," he muttered. "Better than really good," he said, giving her warm flesh a firm squeeze. "Excellent...really excellent, even."

Shoving the tank top up slightly, he pressed a kiss to the middle of her back and then began to trail a length of hot wet kisses down her vertebral column. When he reached the top of her ass's cleft, he moved his hands so that he parted it slightly, squeezing each cheek again in appreciation. Booth felt Brennan squirm a bit when he gave her one final kiss of approval somewhere between the small of her back and the base of her cleft. Pulling away, he gave her ass one last look of appreciation before he leaned back into the chair himself, pulled her so that her ass was perched on the very edge of the chair, her hips between his wide-spread thighs, and then leaned in so that his chin rested on her shoulder with his lips close enough to her ears so that he could hear her speak.

"Now, let's have some real fun," he growled.

Tracing his fingers down her side in an extremely ticklish way, Brennan again squirmed as she felt him rest his right hand on the swell of her hip before it bypassed her thighs and the palm of his hand came to rest atop the crown of her pubic bone. Slowly, he extended his palm, fingers down, in a sweeping motion over the coarse hairs that crowned her warm folders. He shivered and moaned quietly as he felt the rough yet soft texture in the palm of his hands, but continued to allow his fingers to roam. He pushed further down, using his middle three fingers to trace the line of her slit, but not actual separating it. The teasing motion made Brennan want to scream by the time he'd reached the bottom. Then, shifting his hand's position slightly, he moved so that his index and middle finger carefully parted her from the bottom up—a movement that she unintentionally rewarded with a flush of wet moisture on his fingers.

"Yeah," Booth nodded in approval, licking his lips though she could not see him do so. "That's good." So fucking good.

"Ooohhh," Brennan moaned quietly as it felt like his touch set her most intimate places aflame. "Ohhh..."

He smiled in satisfaction at having elicited such a response from her, particularly—at least as far as he was concerned—he was just getting started.

"I'm assuming that when you moan and groan it's a good thing, right, Bones?" he whispered into her ear, flicking the delicate shell of her ear with the point of his tongue. "You think it's a good thing when you feel me touching you like this, don't you?" he teased her, pressing his lips against the silky skin where the back of her ear met her skull. "Go ahead. You can tell me. I promise, I won't tell anyone. It'll be a secret, just between you and me—our dirty little secret, if you tell me how much you love it when I touch you like this—"

"I think," Brennan said breathlessly, "that you can be very adroit with your phalanges when you want to be."

Using his middle finger, Booth moved slightly higher and felt Brennan arch her back into his torso when he found her clit and began to move his finger in very light circles. Her eyes pressed closed, she leaned her head on his shoulder as he exerted a maddening pattern of alternating pressure.

"Fuck," she moaned. "Oh, oh, oh—"

Booth grinned as he switch directions and began to move from a clockwise to a counterclockwise motion. "You still with me, Bones?"

"Mmmm hmmmm," she managed to croak. "Ohhhhhh—"

"You want to finish that thought, Bones?" Booth said, deliberately slowed his motion so that he couldn't be accused of stopping, but was moving just slow enough to tease her so that the teasing really bordered on a sweet type of torment that he knew would drive her crazy. "Maybe say something like 'Oh, God'... 'Oh, my God'... hell, I think we could even go with 'Dios Mio' if you want. Any of those would work—"

Her eyes snapping open, Brennan shook her head. "No, no—I'm not going to say that—"

Booth interrupted her words when he moved his fingers lower, quickly parting her wet folds and let one finger slip inside her slick warmth. Brennan groaned at the movement, and the groans grew longer and louder when he began to pump his finger in and out of her.

"More," she rasped. "Oh, fuck, Booth. More—"

"Tell me what you want," he breathed into her ear, losing sight of his goal of making her scream God's name for a moment, enthralled as he was by seeing her heaving body squirm because of him, because of what he was doing to her. "Exquisite, everything about you is so fucking perfect, Bones. You're so fucking sexy, right now. Tell me what you want," he whispered, his own throat having grown thick with the desire he was feeling as she built towards her climax.

"More," she moaned in a simple plea. "More, faster."

Grinning, Booth quickly added a second finger as he continued thrusting his fingers in and out of her, increasing his tempo. Her back arched even further against him, almost like she was a cat stretching in a languorous contortion. Had Brennan been more aware of things beyond the steady sensation of Booth's fingers penetrating her, she would have felt his straining erection pressing against her ass. However, her brain had only the ability to concentrate on her building orgasm.

Grabbing his free hand, she brought it up to her breast and pressed it against the nipple. She hissed when she felt it, but her head lulled again as he took the hint and began to flick her nipple.

"Oh, fuck—" she whispered. "Fuck me..."

"Bones—" he moaned, feeling her wetness increase as he continued moving his fingers in and out of her. "Come."

"Not yet," she moaned. "Oooohhhh, fuck, I'm close. But, not yet—"

Moving his lips to the base of her neck, Booth began to alternatively lick and suck his way across her skin. "Come," he breathed against her skin. "Now. You're there. I can feel it. Let go, baby."

And, true to his words, Brennan's walls were tightening against his fingers as he continued moving in and out of her. "Ooooohhhh, Booth."

Letting the hand that was on her breast fall down to her hip, very quickly, he slid it across her pubic bone and dipped down into her sleek wetness. As he used one hand to keep pumping into her pussy, he used the other to flick her hypersensitive clit. He only had to do it twice before he felt her lean into him again. You're so fucking close, baby. Just let go...

"Boootthhh," she moaned. Her head lulled against his shoulder again. Oh, God, I'm coming, she thought, feeling the familiar, weightless feel that she could only liken to a similar sensation when she was riding a roller coaster and felt herself going down the incline. Once she pressed forward, she knew there was no stopping it—not that she wanted to, no way, no how—but, she could only ride out the wave of sensations assaulting every nerve ending in her body. Ohhhh, I'm coming, and it's because of Booth. Fuckbut, I can't...I can't let him win...

Knowing that if she didn't do something soon as she reached the most intense part of her climax that she might shout out anything from Booth's name to God's as she feared, she knew the only safe thing to do was to find something to keep her from crying out. And, as her eyes blinked open, her head still lolling against Booth's shoulder, she saw the well-defined musculature of his bicep as her mouth rolled open. And, just as Booth gave one particularly strong thrust into her, Brennan felt her walls spasm in her tell-tale signs of a climax. With her last coherent thought, she rolled her head over, opened her mouth, and bit down on his arm when she at last felt herself come.

For a few seconds, both the partners were clearly dazed, albeit for different reasons. Booth, in his dazed state, seemed torn between being pleased with himself that he'd made her come and had the evidence of his achievement stickily coating his fingers and suddenly realizing that she hadn't said a single word when she'd come. Huh. Now, what happened there...no way that she's not the loud type. I'd know it. Then, why didn't she even say my name? And, even as he contemplated that particular point, he suddenly felt a small tingle of pain radiate from his arm. Glancing down at where he held Brennan in his lap, he saw where her head had moved away from his arm, and he frowned when he saw the tell-tale evidence of why he hadn't heard her so much as moan when she finally came. A small red ring of bite marks marred his bicep, and his skin was still wet where her saliva coated his skin. Feeling a flush of anger at her flagrant cheating, Booth leaned into her, his chin on her shoulder as he whispered, "That was a low-down damn dirty trick, Bones."

Turning her head in the direction of his voice, she smiled sweetly, feeling quite generous in her post-orgasmic haze. "Sorry," she murmured.

"No, you're not, you dirty fink," Booth muttered as he studied the glistening wetness of her that still clung to his fingers. He desperately wanted to taste her, but as she studied her, and annoyed at what he considered her unsportsmanlike behavior, Booth resisted. Instead, he quickly rubbed his hands together in a movement that merely coated more of his hands with her scent. He frowned when he realized what he'd done, but was distracted by Brennan's words.

"No, I'm not," she agreed, as she looked at him through heavy lidded eyes. "And, just for those who are keeping count, that's one opportunity down, Booth. Because I did come. Very nicely, in fact, thank you very much."

"You cheated," Booth complained as he shook his head at her. "You cheated...and you used me to do it, too."

"I did," she admitted with a nod.

"That fucking sucks, Bones," Booth grumbled. "That really fucking sucks, you cheat—"

"I believe the terms of the experiment never specified anything about limiting what I could do to myself to keep myself from shouting God's name," Brennan smiled sweetly. "Next time, you really should be more specific."

Pushing her a bit roughly out of his lap, Booth shook his head as he said, "Up. Now."

Still a bit shaky on her feet, Brennan wobbled a bit before she reached down and quickly pulled up her panties and yoga pants in one fluid movement. She smiled a him as she adjusted the tank top so that it covered her breasts. Then, she smiled prettily at him as she fell to her knees between his legs.

Booth, still pouting, looked down at her with a languid eye as he said, "What do you think you're doing?"

"Making amends," she murmured.

Her hand had managed to unbuckle his belt, unbutton the buttons on his suit trousers, unzip the pants' zippers, and slip inside the elastic of his boxers before Booth knew what was happening. Already painfully hard from having watched her build to her climax and come, Booth almost lost it when she took her fingers and let them snake inside the warmth of his boxers to slowly wrap around his stiff cock. Booth's hips bucked slightly at merely the simple warm pressure of her light grasp.

"Mmmmmmm," she said in appreciation, half-fisting the top portion of his cock within the confines of his boxers. "Mmmmmmm—"

Brennan had just started to move her thumb around the underside of the cock's tip when he felt an intense pressure building in his balls that was a well-known sign that he was about twenty seconds away from coming in her hand and in his pants. Not sure whether which idea embarrassed him more, Booth used his feet to kick back and push away from her as the chair rolled in the opposite direction from where Brennan had been kneeling. Somewhat surprised by his movement, she released him immediately, allowing a space of approximately two feet separating them.

A small look of hurt was on her face as Brennan tilted her head at him. "What did I do?" she asked quietly.

"You cheated," Booth said, surprised (but, not really) at how rough his voice was, wincing as it cracked a bit when he spoke. "I don't...you...we can't...not until I have my other two at-bats, Bones."

"But," she pleaded. "You're hard already, Booth—"

"Yes, I know that, Bones," Booth groaned. Please don't take what I said about talking dirty to heart right now, Bones. I don't think I can if you do

"Then, please?" she said. "You made me feel so good, the experiment aside—so let me reciprocate."

"No," Booth said with a firm shake of his head as he quickly stood up and began to refasten the fly on his trousers and the belt buckle. "Not until the experiment is done." He paused and then said, "Unless of course you'd like to admit that you were about to scream God's name just now and would've but for finking out like you did, no way, no how. I've got my pride here, Bones—"

And, thank the good Lord she's not touching me anymore, because if she were, that'd be all I'd have, and even that would be pretty fucking short-lived. Sweet Jesus...

Frowning, Brennan stood up, a bit insulted at his terms. "Fine," she said, turning on him. "Suit yourself."

She moved to resume her earlier spot, still a bit hurt at her rejection of him, and prayed he'd take the hint and leave her alone.

Booth stared at her for several long seconds, blinked his eyes in disbelief, and then shook his head before he walked away.


A short time later, Booth stood on the far side of the lab, having placed some distance between he and Brennan. His throbbing hard-on was still quite painful, and Booth felt an uneasy nervous energy that he knew he needed to do something about...and soon. Glancing in the direction of the men's restroom, Booth contemplated going in for a few moments and jerking off to get some relief. He was contemplating how easy it would be to do that since he was already so close thanks to Brennan's earlier ministrations. But, then he shook his head as he recalled how powerful her orgasm had been and how she'd used him to cheat.

"She effin' bit me," Booth muttered as he glanced back towards the platform where Brennan sat, much as she had been when he had approached her an hour earlier. "What a friggin' cheater," Booth muttered again to himself. " That fink...she fuckin' cheated...and used me to do it, and I can't believe that she did that except I can. Man, this fucking blows—"

He narrowed his eyes and stared at her, hunched over the table peering into a microscope, her hair tousled, but otherwise showing no outward sign—at least at this distance—of the way he'd touched her or, he noted sadly, having been stripped naked. He looked down and rubbed his upper arm, frowning at the crescent of four little red marks on the inside of his bicep.

"Damn it," he whispered, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his slacks as he glared at her. That was totally cheating, he pouted. I would've had you screaming, Bones, if you hadn't cheated like that. You probably cheat all the time, rationalizing the way you always do in your super-squinty way, saying how it's not cheating, it's just strategy. Right, Bones? But, it isit so is cheating. And, then to go around and try to touch me like that'making amends' and trying to touch me like that so that you'd distract me. No fairthat was so totally no fair. And, now I'm hardwhich really, really blows, the the way, but, you've already had one fan-fuckin'-tastic orgasm, courtesy of Seeley J. Booth, Super Sexy Geniusand what do I get for my good deed? One order of blue balls, coming up. You little pricktease...I can't believe you did that, slipping your hands in my pants like thatand the worst part was that it felt so fuckin' good. Sooooooo fuckin' good. Jesus. What the fuck, Bones, what the fuck? I think this was a part of your grand master plan to drive me nutters once and for all. Then, I'd definitely lose and you would win, but you didn't want to feel badly about it, so whatdid you think I would just let you jerk me off on the platform? Because, I thought about it. I almost let you, you know that? I almost did if I wasn't so pissed at you because you're such a damn cheater. But, you knew that, huh? I'm sure that's the way your little logicky way of thinking would justify your cheating, right?

Booth glanced up at the scaffold-like stainless steel bracing that hung over the platform and smiled at the twinkling white lights that were threaded through the bracing. I love Christmas, he grinned. He then stopped mid-thought and frowned. At least, I used to like Christmas, when I used to be able to spend it doing Christmas-y things like sitting around with Parker watching the Charlie Brown Christmas special and drinking hot chocolate in the morning as we open our presents. He sighed. There are no Christmas-y things here. It's not Christmas-y sitting around the lab with the squints...unless I'm getting a chance to fuck Bones in that cute little elf hat...and I didn't even get to suck on her tits like she wanted—hell, like I wanted to—the damn, dirty cheater. "This just sucks," he said, walking over towards the stairs. "Sucks, sucks, sucks," he pouted as he trudged along and noticed he was walking past Angela's office.

He stood at the closed door to her office, but saw the faint light of the sparkling holographic Christmas tree that she had created using the Angelatron shining through the glass windows. Dude, I wish I had a cool computer thingy named after me, he thought to himself. What would I call it? Hmmm...what would be a good name? Maybe...the Boothilator, he grinned. However, his smile quickly faded somewhat when another thought occurred to him. But what would a Boothilator be used for? He stopped for a moment to consider the question. Well, maybe it could have some kind of whizbang doohickey that could tell if people are lying? Yeah, he nodded silently, a goofy grin spreading across his face as he imagined the possibilities. Yeah, that would be freakin' awesome. It'd be, like, a lie-detecting machine. He furrowed his brow. Oh, wait. Shit. No, that won't work at all. There's already a lie-detecting machine, isn't there? Don't we have one at work? Yeah, I think we do. I've used it. Awwww, fuck. That sucks. Booth took one last lingering glance at Angela's computer-generated Christmas tree and, letting go a long, frustrated sigh, continued walking towards the stairs that led to the lab's upstairs lounge as his thoughts returned to Brennan.

"I can't believe she bit me," he grumbled aloud. The little bloodsucker, though she probably would spend three hours telling me how vampires don't exist and how the whole vampire thing is really some way that somebody came up with in medieval times to explain some kind of weird, rare blood disease. He snorted. Yeah, she'd probably go off and say how the sacrament of Holy Communion is actually some kind of vampire ritual that was eventually co-opted by cannibals to legitimize their secret rites. Booth frowned and dismissed the thought with a shake of his head. "Man, this blows—and not in the good way, either."

Booth paused and shook his head as he contemplated what had just happened between the pair. "She knew I was gonna make her scream when I made her come, and she didn't want to see me hit it out of the park on the first at-bat." He smirked. That's okay, he thought. Like I said, I've still got two more at-bats left, and that's plenty of time to do what I gotta do to get things done. The image of Brennan's flushed face contorting in pleasure as he'd pumped his fingers in and out of her flashed in his mind. God, she's so fucking hotand, I'm gonna make her come again. She has no idea what she's in for. Nope—not at all. "Bones, Bones, Bones," he muttered as if chiding her at a distance. "You've been hanging out with minor league flunkies like Stires way too much." She's got no idea what kind of Boothy goodness I can turn out when I really want toyou are in such deep shit, and you don't even know it yet.

As he stood at the base of the stairs, he turned around and glanced in Brennan's direction once more, his eyes caressing her round, ivory shoulders from a distance. She's so fucking gorgeous, he reluctantly admitted. Totally fucking gorgeous. And she fucking knows it. And she knows I think she's fucking gorgeous. She knows that I know that she knows what we both know, and I'm fucked because she's gonna fucking torture me over it. At that exact moment, Brennan glanced up from the microscope and looked to the side, scribbling something on the little notepad at her side. Her gaze had lingered in his direction, almost as if Brennan knew where he'd been standing, and for a fleeting moment, Booth thought he'd seen her eyes meet his.

He rubbed his bicep again as she turned away again, and he shook his arms loosely at his sides as he looked at the support bar that ran beneath the stairs. He felt twitchy, a twinge of tingly energy propagating all the way from his shoulders to his fingertips because of his still-strong erection. He needed to do something, since he damn well couldn't sleep, and the last person he wanted to be anywhere near was Brennan. Not after she went after me with those squinty little chompers of hers. I mean, at least, not until she promised to behave and quite treating me like a chew toy. His eyes darted around the lattice work in front of him, and then an idea suddenly occurred to him.

Instead of retreating to the men's bathroom to take care of business, Booth walked over to the stairs and glanced up at the horizontal steel bar that ran between the industrial, steel grate staircase and the metal support pillar next to it. He jumped up, catching himself as his fists curled around the cold, blued steel rod in a narrow, underhanded grip. He hung loosely from the bar for a few seconds, enjoying the feel of his muscles stretching as his feet dangled about six inches off the ground. He took a deep breath and, feeling a tight burn in his biceps, shoulders, and back as he pulled himself up until his chin passed over the height of the bar. Huh. How about that? This is pretty good. Yeah. This might do the trick, after all. A good work out might be exactly what I need. Who knew the lab had all this hidden fitness gear, squirreled away like this? God, that's convenient, but probably a horrible waste since I'm sure those scrawny squints never use primo equipment like this. Maybe Hodgins—he at least has some muscle tone, but...wait, why am I even thinking about Hodgins' body? Alright. This is nuts.

Booth held himself for a moment, then lowered himself again, his eyes quickly flickering over to the platform again to leer at Brennan once more. Wait a minute, he frowned at seeing her stool sitting empty and no sign of her anywhere on the platform. Where in the hell did you go, Bones? Booth did another chin-up as his frown deepened. She didn't actually go to bed, right? Because, if she did, that'd be cheating, too. We have a thing going on here, and she can't just, you know, throw in the towel and go to bed. I'd win by forfeit, right? He took a breath and quickly pulled himself up again with a quick jerk. Because...that would fucking suck. There's no fun in winning by forfeit. As he lowered himself from the bar again, another thought occurred to him. Even if I lose this little challengenot that I will, because I have a pretty good idea even from that little thing before about the kind of thing that makes her crazy now, but anywayit's gonna be all kinds of freakin' fun when I get my second go. And, maybe if that dirty rotten fink stops cheating, maybe we can have some actual one-on-one fun. As he raised and lowered himself again, he felt the muscles in his upper arms, shoulders, chest, and back twitch, almost vibrating, as he moved.

He thought back to when he was a boy, playing baseball for Saint Joseph's High School in ninth grade, and how the coach had told the team after a close game against the Regis High School Crusaders, the same thing he always told them after a tough loss: 'It's not whether you win or lose, but how you play the game.' Booth grinned. Well, I'm not gonna lose this little game here, Bones, but even if I wereand I'm not saying I am going to lose, but either way it's gonna be pretty fun playing, and figuring out all the ways how I can make you all kinds of crazy wet, and purr like a little kitten. Well, maybe not like a kitten since I really don't really like cats. Actually, I hate cats because I think I'm allergic. Maybe—well, it still wouldn't be half bad to hear her purr like a little kitten. It's not like she'd actually be a cat, right? Just sound like one, and a purr like that would be pretty fucking sexy, because she'd say something that was all kinds of sexy like—

"What are you doing, Booth?"

He was so surprised to hear her voice he nearly fell from the bar. As it was, he was halfway through an upward pull when her voice cut into his quiet concentration. He barely managed to clear the bar before dropping again, suspending himself in a dead-hang as Brennan walked around the stairs and into his field of vision. He blinked several times, not certain if it was really Brennan or a figment of his antifungal drug-induced hallucination, because, unless he was very much mistaken, Booth thought he saw a clearly hungry look on her face.

"Tired of squinting at bones, Bones?" he asked her, grinning at his own cleverness as he quickly recovered from his surprise and tried to project a casual air about himself. "Or did ya miss me already?" he grunted, pulling himself up again with a strained jerk, holding his chin above the bar as he leered at her from above. Huh, this is kind of a nice view from up here, he noted. Yeah, it's a really nice view of those awesome ta-ta's she's got. But, it would be so much better if I could see all of that fantastic cleavage of hers. Take it off, Bones. Strip it off, now. Right now

"Booth," she said in a low voice.

"Yeah, Bones?" he grinned at her.

"Just so you know," Brennan told him. "I never tire of looking at human remains since it's what I do, and I take great pleasure in it. So, no, I didn't get tired of looking at the remains—"

"Ahhh," Booth allowed his grin to transition to a knowing smirk. "So, then you did miss me, huh?"

"I was curious to see what trouble you were up to," she admitted. "So, what are you doing there, Booth?"

"What's it look like, Sherlock?" he chuckled as he emphasized his point with another chin up.

"Your trite attempt to chastise me using a literary allusion aside," Brennan observed with a bit of a sour note clearly present in her voice. "I believe you are incorrectly using the lab ladder's support structure as some type of makeshift pull-up bar in an attempt to work off the excess sexual energy that you displayed on the platform in the form of your generous erection before you so rudely rebuffed me. And, as you know, since I'm the best in the world, I'm quite certain I'm not wrong."

"Riiiighht," Booth said, pulling himself up again as he stared at her, his crooked grin giving way to gritted teeth when he felt the long burn in his chest and biceps as his muscles tired. "Yeah, I know all about you and you being the best in the world, Bones." One hand at a time, he switched his grip from an underhanded, chin-up grip, to an overhanded pull-up grip.

"I am in the best in the world," she said with a self-satisfying smile on her lips as she battled in her mind between pleasure at her own assessment of her skills and annoyance at the fact that Booth seemed quite unaffected or impressed by her talents. Damn it, Booth. Pay attention to me. I'm trying to appear alluringly seductive here! Stop ignoring me— "Despite the fact that, clearly, some people think I'm not."

Brennan stood there, her hands on her hips, and watched him complete another two dead-hang pull-ups, noting with silent approval how complex such a movement really was, kinesiologically speaking. She observed how Booth's well-developed latissimus dorsi and the lower sternal fibers of the pectoralis major muscles extended his arm from his initial overhead hanging position. Though more difficult to observe as he lowered himself again to the hanging position, she knew that his lower trapezius, pectoralis minor and serratus anterior muscles were acting a scapular depressors, keeping his shoulder blades in place during the movement by rotating the scapulae downward during the downward movement of the exercise. She saw how his impressively-formed biceps brachii muscles shortened as he flexed his elbows to pull himself up yet lengthened as his shoulder extended to let himself down again. She watched all of this with wonder and a growing feeling of refreshed arousal, not realizing as she watched him that he was, in fact, watching her watch him.

"You aren't checkin' me out there, Bones, are you?" Booth asked her as he lowered himself once more from the bar, the self-satisfied grin clear in his voice.

"Not really," Brennan said, trying to assume a reciprocally relaxed air of dazed non-chalance that she believed mirrored Booth's own casual attitude. "I was merely observing the way the major muscle groups of your torso and upper extremities work during such a physically intense, complex exercise." She rolled her shoulders inward, causing her breasts to press closer together, accentuating the visible cleft between them. She thought she heard Booth make a noise of some sort, a groan, but couldn't quite be sure as he grunted softly during each upward phase of the pull-up. She watched how his well-toned muscles twitched and flexed as he moved, and she felt a warm, wet pulse grow strong between her legs once again. Fuck, Booth, she cursed him silently. How can you do this to me when you're not even touching me? How can you be that good? Well, nothat's it. I'm not taking this metaphorically laying down. If you're going to torture me, I'm going to torture you, too. And, since you seem to like my tits so much, I think I'll start with those and then maybe you pay attention to me.

Booth held himself up for a moment as he watched her press her breasts together, knowing full well that she did so in order to tease him. He felt his throat go dry as he saw her reach up with both hands and, slide her hands under her tank top and cup her breasts. Her eyes closed as she moaned a bit as she began to play with herself. God, Bones, he groaned silently. What are you doingtrying to make yourself scream God's name?

Unable to help herself as she got a bit carried away at the display she was putting on from him, Brennan indulged herself for only a few seconds before she forced herself to stop.

"Booth?" she said, her eyes suddenly snapping open as she looked at him, even though she already knew he was watching her since she could feel the heavy weight of his gaze on her.

"Yes?" he squeaked.

"Do I have your attention now?" Brennan asked, still massaging her tits in a way that made her mild arousal increase with every flick of her fingers against her already hyper-sensitive nipples.

"I don't know, Bones," Booth managed to croak. "Do you?"

Taking up the challenge of his words, Brennan smiled evilly as she let her hands fall away from under her shirt, and she quickly pushed the tank top all the way so that her tits were exposed for Booth's viewing, unimpeded in all their perky glory. At her moveas she began to flick her already tight nipplesBooth could no longer suppress the sound of his groan or, for that matter, hold himself up in a flexed, pulled-up position. His arms promptly gave out on him, and he felt a sharp twinge in his shoulders as he dropped to the ground.

"What are you doing to me?" he growled as stood to his full height, shook his arms out, and closed the distance between them in two short steps.

"The better question, Booth," Brennan said with a crooked-mouthed sneer, "is what are you going to do to me?"

She casually pulled the fabric of her tank top back over her breasts, turned on her heel, and swung around the banister of the stairs leaving Booth to follow in hot pursuit.


To Be Continued...


A/N:

Gee, I wonder what Booth is gonna do here. Hmm. He might decide to call it a night and stumble his way back to Brennan's office and crash on the floor next to Dr. Goodman, his lung fungus-weekend roomie.

Oh, you think that's not the way this should go? What exactly would you like to see?

Well, the fact is, Part III is already written and in final edits, so if we can get some nice reader feedback, we won't keep you waiting too long to see how this ends. (And, perhaps more interestingly, since these two are trapped in the lab, where it ends, right?)

We assure you Pt III is one of the hottest chapters we've ever written. Maybe the hottest so far, depending on your taste.

Intrigued? Well...

So, if you would, please take a few moments of your time and give Lesera128 and the humble dharmamonkey a bit of feedback. It's quite easy to leave a review (a helluva lot easier than writing the actual fics themselves, we assure you). So please send us a little bit of psychic revenue to keep us chuggin' so we can stay motivated long enough to get Part III up.

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Press that wee little review button down there.

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