Author's Notes: Ok...yeah, sorry about the wait. Here's what I've decided to do - make no promises about when the next chapter will come out. Apparently, if I make deadlines for myself, it doesn't happen. However, if I think, oh, doesn't matter when the next chapter gets out, I seem to get them out a little quicker. So, that's my latest plan. Congratulations to Brimseye for being the one hundred seventy fifth reviewer! This chapter is a quick read, I think, but things happen! So, enjoy it until the next update!
Disclaimer: I do not own X-Men.
To Hold You Close
Chapter Eleven
"Rogue?"
"Hey sleepyhead." Rogue looked up, smiling at Warren's confused face. "Glad to see you're awake again. How're you feeling?"
"Alright, I guess," he replied, looking around. "Um...so what exactly happened after..."
"You kissed me?" Rogue asked brightly. "You responded like everyone else who experiences my powers for the first time. Actually, you were a little worse, but I think that's because of my powers being different now. Stronger."
"Ah." He paused. "Why're you so happy this morning? Is it morning?"
"Yeah, it's morning. And I'm happy because I think I know how to get the man who's been haunting my dreams! Hope to see you up and around today!" Rogue patted his hand with her gloved one and got up to leave. Warren watched her, unnerved by her uncharacteristic behavior.
After making certain Warren was ok, Rogue found herself at breakfast with Peter, going over the day.
"Storm started up an art class, just for me you know? She says it'll probably be a good expression for some students. Also said she's going to just give me the lead and be there to keep students in line."
"So what do you think you'll do today?"
"Basics I guess. What about you?"
"Well, I guess the Professor had some ideas for where he wanted to take the class, so I'm probably going to be there only to add fuel to the fire. Honestly, I don't know what to expect."
"It'll be an interesting day, that's for sure." They hadn't gotten much farther when Kitty and Bobby sat down with them. Surprised, Peter and Rogue could only stare at them.
"Discussing plans for classes today?" Kitty asked with a smile, though it looked a bit hesitant. For one breathless moment everything seemed frozen. Them, remembering her earlier good mood, Rogue sighed, nodded, and plastered on her own smile.
"Yeah. You guys looking forward to it?" Awkward moment almost gone, the pair nodded.
"Logan's gonna have his hands full in the danger room," Bobby remarked. "Some of the kids are apparently advancing quickly." Rogue felt an ache inside at the mention of Logan, as well as something akin to jealously. She really wanted to be helping out in that class... Her jaw clenched but Rogue fought to keep control. To her own surprise, she did stay calm.
"Think it'll be tough in there?" Peter asked.
"Dunno," Bobby shrugged. "Depends on them, their powers, and their maturity level." After a bit more hesitant small talk, Rogue excused herself from the group to talk with Storm before lessons. Peter raised an eyebrow at her and she shrugged. She left, thinking about how glad she was that Bobby and Kitty were up, though she wasn't exactly thrilled to be eating with them.
She failed to notice Logan hiding in a back corner of the room, watching her.
"Storm!" Rogue called out cheerily. The white haired woman turned, a smile on her face.
"Feeling better?" she asked warmly.
"Much," Rogue replied. "I wanted to tell you, I spent a lot of the day yesterday think about my powers and I wanted to fill you in."
"Of course," Storm said, concentration taking over.
"Ok, so basically the conclusion is that my emotions affect my ability to control my powers, but more specifically, negative emotions. So it seems to be not so much a matter of controlling my powers as it is my emotions. Peter says it's like a form of protection. Hank says the cure forced me to learn control faster, and I think that if my powers were amplified, maybe they would have always been this strong, and I would have eventually learned control. So, that's why I think Peter might be right about the protection thing." Rogue paused for a breath.
"It all sounds perfectly logical," Storm said thoughtfully, brow furrowed with the concentration of following Rogue's explanation.
"I do think I'm gaining some control," Rogue added. "When I touch someone, I'm able to shut their memories away now."
"That is good! Perhaps we'll uncover this mystery of the cure yet," Storm said, still smiling. "Oh, while I remember it, let me fill you in on the brief meeting we had yesterday. As I'm sure you know, we injected Magneto with four vials of the cure. If it affected you this way, the big question is how did it affect him. It affected Mystique, so Hank's calling her today to find out what exactly happened to her. After all, this cure may have only affected you because of what your powers are. So if she didn't get her powers back, maybe Magneto didn't either. But, maybe they both did."
"And what about you, hearing the Professor?"
"He hasn't called to me since Sunday. Hank's going to see what he can find out. I never heard anything specific anyway – usually he just called my name over and over, though on Sunday he wanted me to find him. I don't know what's going on, but we'll find out. So, we're having another meeting over dinner, as a fully assembled team."
"Ok," Rogue said softly, thinking it might make for an interesting dinner.
"I don't get it – how can one person simply change things for others?" the boy asked, his blond hair his major striking feature.
"Alright, let's turn to our senior class member. Rogue, would you please lead us in a discussion about the suitability of change in ourselves and others?" Storm looked at Rogue, who was not prepared for this at all.
"Um, ok," Rogue heard herself say softly. The seven students in the class looked up at her with interest. "Well, does anyone here believe that, because they're a mutant, they're better than others? Or that humans are better than you?" Heads shook no. "Ok, so then is it ok for one to declare something wrong with the other?" Still heads shook no. "Well, that's kind of it. One person thinks that something like that is true, and so they take initiative to do something about it. They...just decided."
"Is that why you just decided to take the cure? You thought something was wrong? You wanted to be in charge of former mutants or something?" The boy with the blond hair looked intently at Rogue.
"Well..." Rogue began slowly, glancing over at Storm, who shrugged. "Let me ask you a question first. What's your name and what are your powers?"
"It's Josh and, well, I know I can heal people," he answered.
"Do you know about mine?"
"Yeah, you absorb other powers."
"It's more than that though. If I have skin-to-skin contact with someone, I take in their...life force, for lack of a better term. This includes things such as consciousness, memories, and, in the case of mutants, their powers. If the contact lasts for too long, it is possible for me to kill someone."
"Have you ever done that?"
"No, but I came close one. I found that contact with humans is dangerous to them almost immediately, whereas with mutants there is a little more time, probably because I take their powers first. That's why I wear layers. It gets tedious and it seems unfair – I want to wear tank tops and shorts but I don't because I fear I might hurt someone." Rogue paused and looked out over the class. "I am dangerous. Have any of you ever felt as though your powers were a curse? That's how I feel. That's why I took the cure."
"So you allowed someone to believe that they were right, that your powers are...wrong somehow." Another girl spoke up, and Rogue looked over at her.
"If that's what they thought, then those thoughts were misguided. My powers aren't wrong, just dangerous."
"But the cure didn't work on you?"
"No, it actually seemed to make my powers stronger. So now we have a case where someone set out to 'fix' something that they thought was wrong, and they actually made me stronger because of it. So let's talk about that. Is it ok to take something to alter oneself?" As the new discussion took off again, Rogue didn't catch Storm's smile of approval.
After the class let out, Rogue turned to Storm with excitement.
"Well done," Storm congratulated her.
"That was...amazing," Rogue exclaimed. "They listened to me...and talked...and maybe they understand me a bit better."
"And that's all you can hope for. Maybe they'll take the knowledge with them that just because we're all mutants, we don't think the exact same way. I hope you're ready, our second class is coming in." Rogue followed Storm's glance to the students coming in with something akin to shock.
Another class already?
It had gone well, and immediately after it ended Storm had rushed off to Peter's class. With nothing particular to do, Rogue headed to lunch. She saw Warren and Kitty eating together, so she wandered over.
"How'd it go?" Kitty asked brightly.
"Pretty good," Rogue smiled. "I think that some of the kids might have a new respect for me."
"About time," Warren said. "Peter in class now?"
"Yeah. Bobby too?"
"Yeah," Kitty said. "I told him to keep an eye out, Jubilee's in one of the danger room classes. I'm afraid to think what she might do to impress Logan." Kitty winked at Rogue as she sat down, seething a little bit at the injustice in the world.
"That's who it is?" Rogue looked up at Warren. "That guy who's all emotionally distraught, that's who you were talking about? He's the reason you won't consider me?"
"Um.." Rogue wasn't really sure what to say. Kitty smirked. Warren sighed, looking down at his plate as he shrugged, his wings shifting slightly.
"That's life, I guess," he said. Rogue shot a glare in Kitty's direction, but the girl seemed clueless.
"Come on Warren, snap out of it. You're a nice guy, just not the guy I'm interesting in right now."
"You interested in guys who kill girls they love?" His comment stung.
"Chill out Warren, Rogue and Logan have a history together. He saved her life you know." Rogue looked at Kitty in surprise. "It's only obvious, don't pretend like you didn't notice it yourself."
"Well, a guy can dream, can't he?"
"Sure, but don't go dreaming about a girl you can't have. By the way, how hurt was Logan when you started dating Bobby?" Kitty had turned to Rogue, who was feeling slightly speechless.
"Um...I don't know. He didn't...didn't really seem struck by it one way or another."
"That's bullshit and you know it. It was only after he found out about you two that he started looking at Jean."
"Now come on, it was before that –"
"Not seriously," Kitty insisted. Rogue found she really didn't want to argue.
"So why didn't you say anything to me? I assume you told Peter." Warren looked at her evenly.
"He seemed...I don't know. I basically told him that one night, when I was too tired or something, so he just knew. It was easier to tell him everything after that."
"Maybe I'm just too new..." Warren sighed.
"Maybe you're just too sensitive," Kitty cut in. "We're not here to play games. You say what you mean."
"Maybe we're all just teenagers," Rogue suggested wryly. Warren and Kitty looked at her and after a moment Kitty grinned.
"We're all just lame," Warren laughed, and the girls joined in. Lunch finished rather pleasantly after that.
The afternoon stretched out lazily, with nothing really to do. Without having classes to teach or attend, Rogue found herself with little to do. She headed outside, intending to contemplate her plans for Logan, but instead found herself thinking about the Professor and Magneto.
If the Professor was alive, what did that mean? Was Scott alive too? They didn't know for sure what had happened to him. If they were alive, either of them, what would happen next? And as far as Magneto...how far would he go to gain revenge on those who had attempted to take his powers away?
Remembering how he had used her, Rogue shuddered. Her whitened streaks flew into her face just at that moment, as if to taunt her. Rogue glanced around, unease taking over. She wasn't gifted with foresight, but it really seemed like something bad was going to happen.
Logan's puzzled gaze followed her back into the house, wondering about her sudden retreat.
Dinner was shaping up to be awkward, at best. Storm was holding on to her phone, waiting for Hank's call. Logan was in a corner, pretending not to look at anyone, especially Rogue, though she felt his intense gaze on her. She was currently sitting next to Peter and across from Warren, who wasn't really looking at anyone. Bobby was sitting between Kitty and Warren, and the silence in the room was almost deafening.
Rogue ate, though the food tasted dry in her mouth.
When Storm's phone rang they all jumped, but Storm smiled. She hurriedly picked up.
"Hello? Yeah, they're all here. Let me put you on speaker phone."
"Hello everyone." Hank's refined voice filled the room. "Having a pleasant evening?" After a chorus of yeses, he chuckled. "Everyone up and walking as well?" Laughter filled the place then, before he continued. "Well, I have some very serious news. I had lunch today with Mystique and her powers have indeed returned, though I could detect no advances in them and she didn't tell me of any."
"You actually saw her change forms?" came Logan's gruff voice.
"Yes, no lies from her part there."
"That means Magneto's powers had to've come back," Logan concluded.
"Indeed," continued Hank. "Though we don't know for sure. According to Mystique, she's cut all ties with him and says she wants to work with us against him. Something about a score to settle for deserting her, I believe."
"No way," Bobby objected.
"Are you sure? Perhaps she's just trying to play the double agent," Storm said thoughtfully.
"I don't trust her," Peter said, matter of factly.
"Well, I'm not one hundred percent certain of her motives," Hank said. "I told her I would have to discuss it with all of you before giving her any sort of an answer. But I will say that she seemed very anxious to find Magneto."
"I think she just wants to use us to get back at him," Rogue said. "Seems like something she would do."
"So do we let her?" asked Warren.
"Why not use her as bait?" Logan suggested. "Magneto's come to rescue her before. If his powers are back, he'll assume hers came back as well. She'll lead us to him, not the other way around."
"That's like playing with fire," Kitty remarked.
"But it might work," Storm added.
"So, should I tell her we'll work with her?" asked Hank.
"For now," Storm sighed. "If nothing else, Logan's probably right about her leading us to Magneto. But let her know it's only temporary. Trust is hard to gain."
"Will do. By the way, I've got no leads on the Professor, so you'll have to let me know if you hear him again."
"Of course," Storm replied. "Is that all?"
"Guess so. Goodnight all." After hanging up, Storm looked around at the group.
"Anything to say?"
"I don't like this at all," answered Bobby. "There's a plan we're not aware of yet, and we're being used in it."
"I'm more concerned with what will happen involving Magneto. He was already insanely strong. If his powers were amplified at all, who knows what might happen." Rogue shuddered as she spoke. Everyone nodded in agreement.
"I suppose for now, we'll just have to see what happens with Mystique. Without knowing about Magneto for certain, it's hard to prepare."
"Just be on guard for anything," said Peter.
"To do anything," added Logan ominously. Rogue glanced around Peter's profile, but Logan was looking down at the ground.
"So, are we done?" Storm looked around. When nothing further came, she nodded. "Then get to bed early tonight. I'd recommend everyone being well rested until we know for sure what it is that's going on."
Once Storm had finished, most of the group had stuck around to discuss hypothetical situations. Logan, however, had left quickly, and Rogue found herself following, with Kitty's whispered phrase of 'go get 'em' in her ear. That was exactly what Rogue intended to do. She hurried to keep up with his quick stride. He seemed to ignore her, until passing by some empty classrooms. As he turned suddenly, Rogue squeaked a bit as she ran into him, and he pulled her into one of the rooms.
"Why're you following me?" Logan demanded. As Rogue took in his angry face, she suddenly understood exactly why people were frightened of him. It was practically an animal, a trapped animal, looking at her.
"Wolverine," she whispered, unnerved, but he relaxed. "I have to tell you this. It's something you need to hear, whether or not you want to. You need to know how I feel, how you make me feel. When I'm around you...I don't have anything to be afraid of, not even myself." Half anticipating an interruption, she was somewhat surprised it hadn't come yet. "You accepted me for myself, and when you told me before that you would only protect me because it would be what was best for the both of us, I realized that you feel the same way. I had been trying to deny what I felt, but you made me realize that I don't want to, not any more. I love you." She stripped off her gloves and pressed her hands into his, flesh against flesh.
"You can't...feel that way about me," Logan finally said, not meeting her eyes. His voice was unsteady. Rogue clung to his hands. "Don't you get it? I'm not the type of guy for you – you don't want some old guy with only half a memory and hung up on some other girl." He was gaining that animal look again, getting agitated. Rogue felt the pinprick up his claws against her hands.
"Hush, Wolverine," she sighed out, and he relaxed again. "Why can't you stop telling me what you think I think, and just accept the way I feel?"
"Because I can't believe it's true." He squeezed her hands.
"The more you deny it, the more I want you to accept it. You said it would be better for the both of us if you only protected me. You know how I feel about you, tell me how you feel about me." Rogue pressed her body up against his, knowing this was the moment, it would happen now or it never would.
"Marie..." She shivered.
"Just saying my name sets off how you make me feel," she said, leaning into him. For reasons he didn't want to think about, Logan wrapped his arms around her form and she clung to him. "Why did you say it was better for the both of us?" she prompted.
"Because I can't believe there's any way you'll accept, or return, my feelings," he responded after a moment. "I've seen you with your friends. How you are with Tinman, and the winged guy."
"Friends, only friends," Rogue breathed.
"You started out that way with Iceboy."
"I heard you talking to me," Rogue said, taking another tactic. "You thought I was asleep, and I only halfway was." He started, unhappy that she had heard him. "You said I was something special to you. Tell me the rest, now that I'm awake and can hear you properly." Tilting her head up to look at him, she was startled that he was already looking down at her. "Something about how I remove all other thoughts from your mind?" she suggested softly.
"You don't know how much I want to tell you," Logan said then, holding her even tighter to himself. He moved his own head down, slowly. "There are plenty of other guys here who'd love a chance with you. Why are you telling me all this?"
"I already told you. You're not afraid to hold me close to yourself. You protect me, most especially from myself. When you're not here, that's when it hurts the most, except when you're here and you ignore me. Logan!" She said his name with an emotion he didn't want to admit. "I love you."
"You..." he murmured, and then leaned his head down all the way and kissed her.
Rogue had never, ever been happier.
He pulled back, leaving her breathless, stunned. "I love you," he said, looking straight into her eyes. Something tugged at his mind, a scene rather like this though nothing like it all. He pushed it out of his mind, easy to do, and then, rather than having to impale the girl in front of him, he kissed her again.
Now, Rogue had never, never been happier.
