I do not known Rurouni Kenshin ;-)
Strange Affliction
Chapter 11 – Dream Angel
It was raining again and Kaoru could see the large droplets fall almost as if they were landing with heavy blows on her already burdened heart. She always knew that involvement with someone would bring unforseen circumstances, but this time it was different. This time her heart was bound to the situation and she couldn't see the road ahead as clearly as she used to. Prognostication was known to be one of her best attributes and of late it seemed to be failing at an alarming rate. She reached over and gently moved Kenshins fringe away from his face, his breathing continued slow and steady. Last night he hadn't returned to his room and he was still clothed in the outfit he had worn yesterday. He had been emotionally and physically drained; Kaoru had held him in her arms until he had fallen asleep, lulled by the gentle beat of her heart.
It was odd to think that such a resilient individual, who had supported his family for so long, could be so fragile.
"I found out that Yuki had been sleeping with other men, and I left as soon as I knew. I just didn't know what I would say even if I did see her, so I left." Kenshins eyes were closed as he recalled the details and Kaoru waited patiently. "I backpacked my way back to England. I realised that although having freedom while I was young was important, there were responsibilities that needed to be taken care of. My whole family was depending on our family business to flourish and it was my duty. I'd had my fun and it was time to take the role I had been groomed for. I didn't resent it, Kaoru…I liked my days at university and I loved my degree so it's not as if I had drawn the short straw."
"So you didn't feel as if the burden had unfairly fallen upon your shoulders?" Kaoru asked carefully.
"No, I knew I had to take up that responsibility. But in all honesty, it's not as if I didn't have fun and experience the highs of youthful ignorance. I experienced everything." He stated simply. Kaoru nodded thoughtfully. "Not long after I took over I hired a whole new board and our business took off. We took a lot of big risks but the rewards were complicit with those risks we took. I'm not sure whether Yuki had been keeping an eye on me through the media, but she turned up on my door step about 1 and a half years after I took over the business. By this point I had become…a very impassive individual I guess. I had understood what behaviour was necessary in boardrooms, mergers and acquisitions and she must have realised I had changed. At the same time however, she thought she could still charm me into thinking whatever she said was the truth."
"Did she know that you knew about her indiscretions?"
"She would have figured it out from my general demeanour. I wasn't forthcoming or friendly – I was very short with words. So after she realised that I knew that she had cheated on me, she then claimed that it was all a misunderstanding; that she really had loved me and that she'd…" Kenshin sighed and paused as if he couldn't quite fathom how to say it "she claimed that she had been dealing with a problem which had prevented her from clearing up the issue with me after I had left."
Kaoru was sceptical "What problem?"
Kenshin decided that a short description was better than a long winded explanation "Yuki said that after I left she had found out that she was pregnant."
"With your child?"
"Well, at this point I wasn't sure. But let's face it, the possibility of me being the father was quite high. After all, we had been in a relationship at the time of conception. I decided that I would take the risky approach and informed her that I didn't believe she had been pregnant, and if she had been – it wasn't mine."
"But you had doubts?"
"Too many. But I wasn't about to let her know. She was determined to get something out of the situation and a week later I received a document in the mail - confirmation of Yuki's pregnancy. This threw me into more confusion because the child had been conceived while we were in a relationship and there was proof of the pregnancy itself during that time."
"But you still don't have confirmation of parentage." She pointed out logically.
"Exactly. So I told her through my lawyers that I wanted to see the child. And after DNA testing I would grant her some sort of agreement to sharing the responsibilities. Yuki was adamant that I outline some sort of financial proposal regarding the child otherwise I would never see him."
"Like child support or something?" Kaoru asked quickly.
"No," Kenshin responded heavily "She wanted a lump sum benefit in exchange."
"In exchange?" Kaoru repeated in confusion, before it clicked "She wanted to sell you your own child?"
Kenshin confirmed the depraved assertion in one word "Yes."
"Oh my god." Kaoru breathed in horror.
Kenshin pushed on regardless of her disgusted expression "I was not so gullible. I demanded to see the child and have DNA testing so that I could confirm if I really was the father. And even if I wasn't I probably would have adopted the poor kid anyway – Yuki would have never made a good mother and no child deserved to be in such a situation."
"And then?"
"And then what I found out next was something I wasn't expecting. Although I knew that Yuki was conniving I didn't think she would ever sink to those levels." He murmured bitterly "I found out that although she had given birth to a baby boy, he had actually been still born. During the eighth month of her pregnancy she couldn't handle the changes her body was experiencing and tried to abort the baby herself. In doing so she killed the child and was taken to hospital for a forced birth."
"What happened to the baby's body?"
Kenshin covered his face with his arm, shielding his eyes from Kaoru's. "I don't know. No body knows since everything took place in a backwater hospital. They were more for sweeping everything under the carpet instead of reporting incidents to the correct authorities."
"Oh Kenshin. So you never found out whether you were the father or not…"
"No. But I had a grave made for him, in our family's cemetery. No one goes there so no questions have been raised about it." He revealed.
"You would make a great dad." Kaoru smiled at him.
He turned to look at her, his violet eyes filled with grief "Do you think so?"
"Yeah, I'd have kids with you." The words just came out of her mouth before she could stop herself.
Kenshin grinned despite the pain in his heart. "Oh? I'll keep you to that." Kaoru always managed to lighten his burdened heart. He wished he had met her before now. When he was still young and careless. He would have married her by now, they might have even had kids, and he was surprised to find himself not averse to the idea of having Kaoru as a wife and mother of his children.
Kamatari sorted the photos again into different groups for Tomoe's perusal. He once more pondered his conversation with Kaoru from the day before. Although he had told her Kenshin had experienced something terrible, he hadn't told her how much he had known about the situation. At the time he had been in high school and living in the same townhouse as everyone else. Kenshin hadn't wanted Kamatari attending boarding school like he had, and thank god for that, because Kamatari knew he wouldn't have been able to stand the constant teasing; it had been bad enough in public school. He'd heard the numerous negotiations Kenshin had gone through with his solicitors but wasn't sure about what he was referring to when they had discussed payments. Payments for what exactly?
He knew that during this period, Kenshin had become withdrawn and distanced himself from the family. Everyone had noticed; Megumi, Misao, Tae and Sae had all been living with him at the time and it was quite obvious that he was being dragged down by an unknown dilemma. It was only when Yuki created a scene at the house one afternoon that anyone had realised that the issue was linked to a woman from Kenshins past.
Everyone had found out about how Yuki had cheated on Kenshin – that he had told everyone quite freely. He had also lain down the law that evening: he never wanted to hear her name spoken in this house ever again. And from that day forth, no one had. Yuki had disappeared as quickly as she had appeared and everything slowly fell into a monotonous rhythm.
Kamatari had seen the change in Kenshin. When he had returned from backpacking he had been quiet but hopeful. After the Yuki dilemma, he had withdrawn into himself completely. It was as if the old Kenshin had never existed and he immersed himself in the business. No one had been able to help Kenshin because he had closed himself off from them, and Kamatari hadn't tried. Instead he'd run away to Australia to have what he thought his family would never accept.
He realised that Kenshin was intuitive in understanding others problems and always took it upon himself to resolve family issues. He saw them as his backbone to reality and reason for succeeding and his continued focus on them had shifted attention away from himself. How had no one seen it?
He looked up from the photo he had been staring at blankly for the last 10 minutes to see Kaoru stroll in, still wearing her Pyjamas.
"You're still wearing your clothes from yesterday." Kaoru pointed out. She had wanted to chat with Kamatari before Kenshin woke up and now would be the best time.
"Good morning to you too" he responded huffily. "How's Ken?" he asked without prelude to the topic.
Kaoru sighed and sat down heavily in the high chair near Kamatari's work table "Still asleep. He was exhausted." Kamatari raised an eyebrow at this. "Not like that! Geez, is it possible for you to keep your mind out of the gutter this early in the morning?"
"Impossible darling. So?"
"He was tired so I'm letting him sleep in." Kaoru deliberately avoided touching on the subject of why he was sleeping in her room or what had gone on the night before.
"And?"
Kaoru wasn't sure what to say "And nothing."
Kamatari sighed in overly dramatic fashion "I know he's sleeping in your bed missy, so fess up."
"We didn't do anything Kam. He just wanted to be near someone that's all. We talked and then he fell asleep."
"Humph. You" he pointed at her "are the only woman in the world who could have had your wicked way with Kenshin Himura - but didn't." he shook his head sadly.
"I'm not sure he would have been in the mood for that kind of thing Kam. Not after the whole Yuki dealy."
"And things were going so well." He sighed. "He talked about it with you?"
"Yeah." Kaoru nodded slowly. "Kenshin gives the impression that he's some high and mighty being who is unaffected by human emotion. But his life hasn't been a bed of roses Kam."
"I know. I was living at our London townhouse with everyone and going to school there when Yuki turned up one day. That's how we all know her. She might not know all of us, but we most certainly know her. Very unfortunate acquaintance." He finished sourly.
"I wondered how everyone knew her." Kaoru murmured thoughtfully. "I'll talk to you later okay – I don't want Kenshin to wake up alone." Her cheeks warmed slightly at the tender admission. Hopping up she trotted off before Kamatari could make a comment.
He was pretty sure Shishio had no idea about how heinous Yuki's personality was. Otherwise Kamatari was sure that he would never have allowed her to represent his wines anywhere.
Kenshin felt the wind touch his face with chilled fingertips before they withdrew, leaving him icy numb. He stared down at the ground to the tiny cement block commemorating the life which had ended before it had begun. What am I doing in the cemetery? He felt a warm hand on his arm and looked confusedly to his right. Kaoru stood there in a simple black dress, a small smile adorning her beautiful face.
"It's time." She said so softly, he almost missed hearing it. She turned him back to the cemetery entrance to reveal the rest of his family. Everyone was here? How did they know…?
As he slowly closed his eyes, he opened them to find himself staring at the vast wine fields in Provence. The weather was warm and the sweet smell of grapes hung in the air, suspended by the moisture in the atmosphere. The sunlight beat down upon his head, and he could feel the heat being absorbed by his hair. He was wearing what he had always worn to pick the grapes: tattered jeans, a plain shirt and leather boots. The sounds of footsteps rushing towards him had him turning quickly. Kaoru was wearing a red cotton summer dress, running through the wine grapes with a straw hat in her hand. Her dress fluttered around her slim legs as she ran with abandon. As she reached him she threw herself into his arms and he caught her just in time. Her blue eyes sparkled with happiness.
"This is wonderful, but it's time to return." She whispered.
"Time to return where?"
"Home." She smiled before kissing him lightly on his lips.
Kenshin opened his eyes to see Kaoru leaning over him with a small smile on her lips. Her hair was bed messy, and she was still wearing the same adorable cotton pyjamas.
"Hey." She greeted him softly. "You must have been having weird dreams."
Kenshin struggled to focus on her face "I dreamt about…stuff. Was I talking in my sleep?" he asked wearily.
"Mmm no, at first you were frowning and then you were smiling. Like I said – weird."
Kenshin surmised that since he was still sleeping in Kaoru's bed where he had fallen asleep last night, then he must have been dreaming. He hadn't dreamt such colour and vivid imagery since…he couldn't remember the last time he had. And Kaoru had been in every one, like a constant element pulling him back to where he was needed most; reminding him of the present. She had impacted his life incredibly, even after the turbulence of yesterday's events, he was happy. It made him happy to see her face in his dreams and the first one he saw the moment he woke up. She was his dream angel.
Dream catch me, yeah
Dream catch me when I fall
Or else I won't come back at all…
Kaoru showered and changed into jeans and her favourite band t-shirt from the cooperative Powderfinger Silverchair concert. It was peach coloured with a tree calligraphied on the back saying the bands name "Powderfinger" emblazoned across the bottom. She wasn't putting effort into her appearance today – she just didn't feel like it.
She ran down the stairs and stopped short at the sight of the dishevelled Himura household. They had all either put a rather shameful effort into their outfits or hadn't changed at all, as was the case with Kamatari, and Misao who was lounging in her chair in her pyjamas. They all stared at her as she walked into the kitchen. She looked back to check that Kenshin still wasn't coming down the stairs before turning to address everyone.
"I know you guys want to ask Kenshin questions – but everyone has their secrets," at this point Kamatari coughed quite pointedly and Kaoru pinned him with a look "Secrets which sometimes are revealed without choice," she amended "but we all know this situation is one which needs to be dealt with carefully. I don't even want to hear about how last night Yuki this, or last night Yuki that, or Yuki is such a blah blah blah. Okay?" She looked at them sternly hands on hips.
"I think we deserve to know." Misao inserted in a small voice. "She made Ken unhappy, and we love him, so how can we fight the good fight when we don't know the details?"
"All I'm saying is that you all know she isn't a good person. And even if you did know the details it doesn't change what she is."
Misao wasn't one to be put off and grumbled to that effect "I still think we should know."
"I agree with Kaoru." Added on Tomoe helpfully "We need to be supportive and not be intrusive." Linking her hand with Akira's as she looked at everyone.
"Just be normal. That's all I'm asking." Kaoru threw Tomoe a grateful look.
"We can be normal Tanuki," Megumi drawled taking a delicate bite from her toast.
Kaoru glared at Megumi before grabbing a plate off the sideboard and loading it with food. Tae and Sae watched her pile on the food and asked if she was okay.
"I'm fine…I'm just hungry" she defended herself childishly. Sitting down a little too heavily in the seat next to Kamatari, she began to quickly eat her food. It was actually more akin to shovelling.
"Ah Kao, are you sure you have enough food there?" Kaoru stopped mid shovel to throw him a glare and pour more butter on her eggs. After swallowing the large mouthful of food she sat glumly staring at her overfull plate.
"I'm eating my feelings" she confessed, the knife and fork gripped tightly in her hands. Kaoru was still shaken by what Yuki had done. What kind of woman was she? Kamatari's description of her being a villainous harpy simply did not do her justice.
"I forgot to ask this morning – but did Yuki say anything else to you yesterday?"
"No." Kaoru replied shortly. "Why?"
"I was just curious…I thought she might have said a little more that's all."
"Look she didn't say anything to me and I didn't say anything to her. Not much anyway" Kaoru responded lowly "My theory on villainous harpies is the same as my theory on mushrooms: feed them shit and keep them in the dark."
Kamatari chuckled in extreme amusement, rubbing her shoulder soothingly as he reached for his morning tea. Kaoru wished Yuki would take a leaping jump off the Niagara Falls and never emerge, but drowning was too good for her. Damn the stupid woman and her interfering bitchiness. Ugh it was too early in the day for this. Kaoru groaned as her stomach twisted painfully. Maybe she shouldn't have eaten so much, she thought balefully as she leaned back in her chair hoping her stomach would ease.
Kamatari wasn't as surprised as everyone else at Kaoru's possessive and controlling attitude towards the situation. She had reacted in the same manner when Kenshin had tried to interfere in his life. She always acted the same way when something precious in her life was being tampered with; she took no prisoners and her radar for such things had an incredible precision Kamatari just couldn't fathom.
Every time
I close my eyes
It's you
And I know now
Who I am
Kenshin braced himself under the pressure of the hot water, his hands spaced wide apart flat on the white tiled surface. The water beat down on his head like the heat from Provence, in his dream. It had seemed so real…he wanted to take Kaoru there. He wanted to share that part of his life with her…he wanted her to take him to her past as well. He sensed that she was mollified at having been granted access to his tattered beginnings. Perhaps now she would feel more comfortable in telling him about hers.
You do so much
That you don't know
It's true
And I know now
Who I am
He slowly turned twisted the taps shut, and pressed his face into his warm towel. There were hard days ahead and he wasn't sure how he would fare in the emotional melee.
His progress down to breakfast was slow and he wasn't feeling very hungry at all. In fact he felt a bit nauseous. As he pushed open the kitchen door he spied everyone sitting and eating breakfast in a hodge podge mix of Himura harmony.
"Morning Ken san!" Megumi trilled from her spot at the table and Sano saluted him carelessly. Aoshi tipped his cup at Kenshin in greeting.
"Hey Kenshbin!" Yahiko yelled with a mouth full of food, muffling what he was saying, while Tsubame waved prettily.
Misao however, was pushing her food around her plate in a glum manner while darting him thoughtful looks.
"Good morning everyone." He mumbled scratching his head and walking towards the drinks table. He surreptitiously glanced around and couldn't see Kaoru anywhere.
"This calendar says that there's the wine fete on today." came Kaoru's voice as she strode into the room clutching an A3 sized calendar. She saw Kenshin and continued in, dropping the calendar on the table for Misao to look at.
"It says there'll be rides!" Misao informed them excitedly, her earlier glumness forgotten.
"Grow up weasel!"
"I'll grow up when you do Yahiko Chan!" she hurled back.
Kaoru chuckled and shifted closer to Kenshin.
"The shower was a god send wasn't it?" she grinned at him wrapping an arm around his neck.
"It most certainly was." He rested his forehead against hers and whispered softly. "You're my dream angel."
"Is this another pet name I'll have to get used to?" she whispered back.
"It's not a pet name – it's what you are, to me."
There's a place I go
When I'm alone
Do anything I want
Be anyone I wanna be
But it is us I see
And I cannot believe I'm fallin'
That's where I'm goin'
Where are you goin'
Hold it close won't let this go
The fete was not far from their estate and the walk would do them all a world of good. Kenshin held Kaoru's hand as they walked, down the winding roads towards the town centre. He had this song stuck in his head since the moment he had woken up that morning, the words running through his head, the melody dipped and he'd find himself mouthing the words or humming the tune. It so perfectly described Kaoru…
See you as a mountain
A fountain of God
See you as a descant soul
In the setting sun
You as the sound
As the silence is lost
He watched her from the corner of his eye. Her hair had been messily twisted into a bun, letting small bits of fringe fall over her forehead shimmering like blue black jewels in the sun. She was talking to Tomoe about her wedding dress, her voice happily relating certain details that needed to be addressed and how far along they were in the patternmaking. He was sure that she didn't know how hard he'd fallen for her. He caught himself as he thought about the chorus.
Dream catch me yeah,
Dream catch me when I fall
Or else I won't come back at all…
But for her, he would come back every time.
I know I said I wouldn't update until after exams, but I had a burst of inspiration :-)
You would not believe how obsessed I am with this song at the moment…as if it wasn't obvious enough with the amount of times I mentioned it in this chapter. The song is called "Dream Catch Me" by Newton Faulkner – you should all listen to it!
I also stole a line which I fully acknowledge is from the movie 'The Departed' which was directed by Martin Scorsese. If anyone wants to watch it and is not averse to blood and gore then it's a fantastic movie. It's also a remake of a Chinese movie called 'Infernal Affairs' which has a totally different ending to 'The Departed' and if anyone has seen them both then I'd love to know which ending you think is better :-).
And thank you to all those well wishes for me to go well in my exams – I'll be needing it!
You know the drill – the good, the bad, and the ugly!
Cheers,
Iuvenalis.
