Thank you for all your amazing reviews :) Now, I'm sure you're curious about John's past. . .

Chapter 11

"I'm sorry," John mumbled when Clara handed him the cup of tea. He wasn't entirely sure how he had ended up here. After closing his practice he had seen the alarm for the meeting and somehow he must have boarded a bus. John had been so lost in his thoughts that he had only realized an hour later that he had been going in the completely wrong direction. Now he was sitting in Clara's office and the last thing on his mind was to plan his wedding.

"Don't apologize," she said softly and somehow the smile on her face lifted his spirits a little.

"I was gonna go over some possible details for the wedding," he explained. "But then something came up and I. . . I don't know. I shouldn't bother you with my personal stuff."

"Nonsense," Clara interrupted him immediately. "Something's bothering you, so out with it. We can work on your wedding plans after."

Still John wasn't entirely convinced he could trust her. It was a long story, a complicated one, which was why he couldn't tell Missy or Liz. They wouldn't understand and they would judge him for something that had happened over 20 years ago. Clara, however, seemed reasonable enough to at least listen to him despite being a complete stranger. And he really just wanted to get it off his chest or else he might go crazy.

"I have a daughter," he blurted out eventually. John took a sip from his tea, quickly realizing that it was still too hot.

Clara scoffed in reply. "So? That's it? You have a daughter and you haven't told your fiancé?"

John swallowed hard and looked right at her. Could he really tell her the whole truth? "I only just found out this morning. She came to my office. Her name is Susan."

Clara's eyes widened when his words were beginning to sink in and her mouth fell open for just a moment before she regained her posture. "Oh," she uttered at first. "Wow, I can see why that would shock you. How old is she?"

The truth was out and somehow it felt as if a weight had dropped off his shoulder just by telling it to someone. John would find a way to handle this somehow.

"Uhm, she's in her 20s," he admitted and finally the tea had cooled down enough for John to drink it. It was good to have a distraction.

John watched as Clara sank deeper into her seat, but he hadn't even started with his story yet. The worst part was still to come and any moment now Clara was going to ask, John was sure of that.

"Why exactly can't you tell your fiancé?" she wanted to know. "I mean, I'm assuming the kid was born before you met her and it's not your fault that you didn't know, was it?"

Slowly John shook his head and sighed. "It's a bit more complicated than that. I don't think Liz would understand."

When Clara frowned at him in response he knew that there was no way out of this now. He had to confess the to the rest as well. Donna knew, Donna hadn't judged him. Maybe Clara wouldn't either.

"I was still married to River when Susan was born," John admitted.

"Oh," she breathed in reply. "I see. You don't want Liz to know that you've been unfaithful to your first wife."

John shook his head. "It wasn't like that," he said. "We had been married for a while then and we were both a little bored, a little caught up in our daily routine. It was River who suggested that we could. . . explore other options."

"You mean like an open relationship?" Clara enquired curiously.

"It was exactly like that," he confirmed. "River had a couple of adventures, I had a sort of girlfriend. Her name was Patti and she was something of a free spirit. No interest in a proper relationship, that sort of thing. She was fine with our arrangement. But when River and I realized we weren't making anyone any happier with the experiment I ended it with Patti. Never heard from her again."

"Until today apparently," she remarked with a shrug.

John nodded gravely. "Liz is not the sort of woman who would understand what River and I did, she's very old fashioned in that sense."

"Yes, but if you get married at your age, you have to realize that your partner comes with a story and that most likely includes a few mistakes and regrets and things you're not proud of. If you want someone with a clean slate you'll have to marry a virgin," Clara chuckled.

Finally John managed to crack a smile. He had somehow felt that Clara would understand, that she wouldn't judge what he had done, but Liz certainly would.

"What are you gonna do though?" she wanted to know. "I mean, I doubt you'd want to keep the secret forever. And what about your daughter? Does she want contact? Why did she find you now?"

"She left me her phone number so I can call her when I'm ready," he sighed. When would that be? "And Patti died a while ago. She found my name in her old diary."

"You will have a lot of explaining to do," Clara remarked, followed by a laugh.

John couldn't help it. It was the way Clara reacted to whatever he said, the lightheartedness with which she took the entire situation. It was a little contagious and John started to laugh along with her.

"I have no idea what I'm gonna do," he scoffed, followed by another laugh. He was laughing about the entire ridiculous situation. "This isn't something you'd expect to happen out of the blue."

Clara smiled at him in return and even though he couldn't quite explain why, suddenly John felt a lot calmer about the situation. Clara was right. It wasn't his fault that he hadn't known about her, but now that he knew he wanted to talk to Susan once the initial shock had settled.

"I think I should call her, meet with her, find out who she is," John concluded. "I don't think Susan wants a father, I think she's just curious, which I understand. I'm curious, too."

"Good," Clara replied with a nod. "And there's still time to tell your fiancé once you got to know her. No need to rush it."

John inhaled deeply and looked at the woman in front of him. He hadn't wanted to hire Clara as a wedding planner, but right now he thought that it was the best idea his sister had ever had. Here he was, telling her, a complete stranger, his worst secret that he didn't even dare to share with his sister. Clara Oswald was a great deal younger than he was and yet they seemed to have a lot in common. After only a few meetings with her John thought that they could probably become something like friends.

"Thank you," John said sincerely. "I realize listening to the personal woes of your clients doesn't usually come with the wedding planner package."

A strange look crossed over her face before she smiled at him once again. "It does for my nice clients," Clara remarked. "Really, don't worry about it. I imagine the wedding isn't the first thing on your mind right now."

"No, not exactly," John confirmed. "But my sister suggested something and I think it's a good idea."

"What did she suggest?" Clara asked and sipped her own tea.

John sighed. "I have no idea what kind of wedding I want, so she thought you might be able to help me figure it out. By showing me some possible venues or things like that. I mean, you helped me find a suit. Without you that would've probably taken me weeks."

She nodded in response. "Of course. I can do that. I mean, that's what I'm here for, right?"

John couldn't help but smile at her. Yes, hiring Clara Oswald had been the best idea ever.