Hi everyone. Sorry this chapter has taken so long to write. RL has been very busy for me in the last two months and will be for one more month at least as I'm now away until mid-July. Thank you all for your kind reviews and for sticking with me on this fic. I promise I will finish it eventually.
I'm also signed up for The Fandom Gives Back Eclipse edition and an outtake from The Cullen Girl, in a POV of the bidder's choice is up for auction, along with outtakes from my other fics, The Night Before and Another Heart Calls, and two Twi-inspired one-shots. Please think about bidding for me. It really is for a good cause.
With all that said, thank you to my lovely beta, msambrosia, for all her help. I don't own Twilight, but I do own this plotline so please don't steal it.
Please read and enjoy.
The Elephant in the Family
BPOV
I wasn't stupid, though I knew a lot of people mistook my quietness for idiocy.
So when I got out of Edward's car at school and was greeted by stares and whispers, I wasn't arrogant enough to think it was all about me...or at least not directly all about me. Emmett had already seen fit to let me know that my brothers drew a lot of attention in school, not only because of their inhumanly beautiful appearances, but because of the distance they kept from these children as well.
I knew, therefore, that there would be some speculation about them suddenly turning up for school with a strange new sister. I just hadn't expected people to be so blatant about it.
Every eye in the lot was turned towards us, boring into my skin, and I attempted to surreptitiously hide out of sight behind Emmett. There were benefits to having a brother built like a mountain.
I clung to him as we walked towards the main office, or shuffled in my case, and as we went I could hear the louder whispers of those we passed.
"...do you think she's with him..."
"...keeping it within the family..."
"...I mean look at her, compared to the rest of them she's..."
I blushed as one girl close by questioned why the "fuck-hot Cullen brothers" would waste their time with a "plain, little mouse" like me. Emmett hugged me towards him at that point and I knew that the slight had not gone unnoticed.
Suddenly we halted, right between cars, and I craned my neck around to see why we had stopped. Edward and Jasper were frozen still, shoulders hunched, teeth slightly bared, low growls rumbling from both of them. Their gaze was fixed on a picnic table to one side of the building where a number of boys were crowded.
Emmett was now hissing at Jasper and Edward, berating them for calling more attention to us – as if that were even possible. As they talked I chanced a second glance over towards where the boys sat, curious as to what they had done to provoke my brothers' ire. One of the older ones caught me looking and winked smarmily at me. He had a cruel twist to his smirk and I shuddered in response, drawing back once more.
"Come on." Emmett tugged at me and it took me a second to realise that the others had disappeared. "They went on to class," he explained.
"They were growling," I noted, disconcerted by the action. While I had never forgotten that my new surrogate family were vampires, I had managed to push the knowledge away to the back of my mind. They all acted so human around me, never displaying any of the vampiric behaviour I had come to expect from them – growling, fighting, the constant jokes about tearing my legs off and sucking my bone marrow out. That my first foray back in human society was accompanied by this behaviour was bewildering to me.
"Yeah." Emmett grimaced and scratched the back of his neck. "I think they were catching some stuff they didn't want to hear... or feel," he tagged on. "Don't stress about it though, Bells. You know how moody the two of them can get."
I laughed in reply, but it felt forced. Edward and Jasper's weird behaviour was just putting me more on edge.
After accompanying me to the office – where the receptionist stared at me – Emmett walked me to my class and left me to face the masses alone. The whispering started up again. This time the other students weren't even trying to hide their interest; one even pointed at me.
After being shown to my seat, I hunched my shoulders over, swinging my hair around to hide my face.
A girl dropped into the seat next to me. "So, you're Isabella Cullen."
"Yes," I confirmed, blushing at her blunt statement.
"I'm Shelley." She gazed down at me imperiously. "You live with the Cullens, right?"
I shifted uncomfortably. "Yeah, they adopted me about six months ago."
"Why? Ok, scrap that. Which one are you after?"
"Excuse me?" I turned face her incredulously.
She scoffed at me. "Oh c'mon, a blind woman can see how gorgeous they all are. You must be panting over one of them. Anybody would be." Shelley rolled her eyes.
I went back to hiding behind my hair. "They're my brothers."
"Yeah, well, if they were my brothers I would've jumped them already."
I could feel my face heating at her suggestive tone. I was used to Emmett throwing innuendos around the house, but it was always playful banter, mostly directed towards Edward. But this - this girl meant what she said. She really wanted to... God, I couldn't even think it.
Shelley continued to whisper at me throughout the rest of the class, which luckily was relatively easy, throwing question after question at me about the boys, Emmett in particular. Luckily, half the time the teacher interrupted her interrogation and the other half I muttered one-word answers or pretended that I didn't hear her.
Luckily, she didn't stick around after class, too upset that I hadn't been able to divulge to her what Emmett slept in.
I left class in a daze, shocked that someone could be that blunt.
...and so the rest of the day went.
Girls, even older ones who weren't in my grade, introduced themselves before launching into an interrogation about Jasper, Emmett and Edward – particularly Emmett and Edward. Jasper, despite his unnaturally beautiful appearance, still provoked more fear in these humans than the more genial other two.
These humans.
It was scary to realise how separated from them I really felt, how far removed from their worlds of make-up and sleepovers and crushes...how quick I was to lump myself on the side of the vampires. This human world felt alien to me, despite being the one I should occupy.
This realisation shook me.
Of course the constant attention wasn't actually for me; I was just a convenient link in the chain that led to my brothers. So I had offers of friendship, of lunch and study dates, which would either take place at my brothers' table or our house, I had spoken desires of wanting to get to know me and my family better and then I had the whispers...
Spoken behind my back by those I had just been introduced to.
"...doesn't look anything like them..."
"...stupid bitch, wouldn't tell me anything..."
"...does she think she's better than us..."
"...compared to the rest of them she's a bit plain, isn't she..."
"...what's she doing with the Cullens, she doesn't fit in at all..."
Blinking back tears, I struggled through the rest of the morning. In addition to the unwanted attention of the girls, I was also getting some strange predatory looks from some of the guys. Sidestepping an overeager boy who'd introduced himself as David Farrow, I smiled weakly before scurrying in the direction of the cafeteria.
When I entered the large room I cringed at the sudden silence which fell over the space. Sneaking a peek through my hair, I saw that everyone was looking in my direction. I hurried over towards the counter and grabbed the first things I could find, locating my brothers quickly.
When I got to their table their concern for my behaviour was sweet, but unwanted. I really didn't want more attention, I wanted less – luckily Edward seemed to realise this and I saw him discretely shake his head at the other two.
I nearly cringed when Emmett suggested sitting with someone else. I made a joke about wanting to sit with my brothers, but I was slightly ashamed to tell them that I hadn't made any friends yet. I'd never had any problems making friends with people before; I mean, I hadn't been massively popular at my old school back in Alaska, but at least I was friendly with most. But here...
Here, despite being new, I wasn't the main attraction. The Cullen boys were.
They were handsome and mysterious and intriguing and everyone was just falling over themselves to get closer to them by ingratiating themselves with me. Smiling inwardly, I congratulated myself on my proper use of the word 'ingratiate', even if it was just in my head.
A minute later I was smiling outwardly as Jasper choked down a piece of pizza, just to get me to eat properly. Emmett was guffawing loudly, while Edward had an amused look on his face.
I was touched by both their concern and their efforts to amuse me. They were trying so hard. Even when they had no clue what was wrong, although they were sharp enough to pick up that I was unsettled by something, they were making the effort to make me feel better. It was incredibly sweet of them.
My graciousness lasted until I returned to class, Jasper by my side as I struggled to locate my Biology lab.
"So, are you, like, a couple with Jasper then?"
I saw Jasper's shoulders hunch as he walked away, the comment picked up by his sensitive ears, and this time I did cringe as I turned to face the random girl, Amy something, who had addressed me. She was gazing at me curiously, her mouth snapping together with a pop as she chewed her gum.
I found my temper before I found a diplomatic answer.
"No. I'm not in a couple with Jasper. I'm also not in a relationship with Emmett or Edward either. They're my brothers. And no, you can't eat lunch with us or come over to my house and no, I won't tell you anything about my family. It's private, ok?"
I flushed heavily after my rant, already feeling the burn of embarrassment cascading up my face. Amy looked at me like I was crazy.
"Yeah, ok. I was just asking. Jeez..."
She spun on her heel and entered the class; I followed meekly behind. As the teacher directed me towards a seat I could already hear the speculation begin about my outburst.
"...such a freak. I only asked her 'cos they were walking so close to each other. And she completely blew up in my face. Loser."
I closed my eyes, praying that I could just get out of here and retreat back home. Maybe I could take Esme up on her offer of homeschooling. Surely it would be better than this.
But this wouldn't be a problem if I had normal brothers, who weren't stupidly pretty and maybe had acne or crooked teeth or something. Then I could come to school without worry of physical comparisons, hearing people sneer at how common I looked compared to vampiric beauty. Then I wouldn't have girls falling over me to get to my family. Then I could come to school, like a normal girl, and make friends who would like me for who I was, like a normal girl.
But now...
Now I could barely interact with people without feeling nervous and uncomfortable. How did I get to the stage where I was happier with the vampires than with the humans?
How dare they make me feel this way? How dare they screw up my life like this?
Hidden under the desk, my hands curled up into fists.
I seethed inwardly throughout the rest of the day, ignoring the catty remarks and scathing looks.
Finally school was over and I gathered my belongings quickly and stomped my way to the car. Emmett was already there.
"Hey there, kiddo. How was school?"
I scowled at his enthusiasm, keeping my eyes fixed on the ground. I didn't need to look at him though to tell that he would be crestfallen by my behaviour. Soft footsteps marked the arrival of Edward and Jasper and I silently slid into the car, ignoring any efforts to talk to me.
Annoyingly, I felt my anger at them fade as we drove along; I knew that they were confused, but I didn't want to open my mouth for fear of what would come out of it. I hated the situation I was in, but it wasn't their fault.
At least that was what I told myself. Inside, it was hard not to start screaming at them, but my living with a vampire family instead of a human one was an old issue that I knew couldn't be changed.
I still resented it on occasion though.
When we arrived back home I was greeted by Esme's smiling face. I didn't want to look at her. I didn't want her to ask me how my day went or if I made any friends.
I didn't want to disappoint her with the truth.
So I settled for avoidance – running up the stairs and slamming my bedroom door behind me. Yes, it was childish, but it was how I was feeling at the moment. I was sick of being mature and understanding for once. All I had wanted was a good first day at school and I now wasn't even capable of that. I was probably going to be labelled a freak from now on as well after my little outburst.
As the impact of the day hit me, I curled up in a corner between my dresser and my bed, and tried to stop the tears that began running down my face. It was no good trying to cry quietly in this house - everyone would be able to hear me anywhere - but as I tried to stop my breath from becoming too loud, a sob escaped my throat.
I immediately clamped my mouth shut and held my breath, waiting for someone, probably Esme or Emmett, to come bursting in to see what was wrong. As much as I appreciated their concern, at this moment, I just wanted to be left alone.
After a few minutes, when I had turned red from lack of air, and no-one came up, I relaxed. Obviously they had all decided to leave me alone for a while and for that I was grateful.
Eventually, once I was over my crying, I dragged myself up onto my bed and fetched my backpack from the floor. Although I was dreading tomorrow at school, perhaps more than I was dreading today, that was no reason to get behind in my work and get humiliated by my teachers, as well as by the other students.
Finishing my biology, I had just started working on an English paper when a knock came on my bedroom door. Bracing myself, I was surprised when it was Carlisle who then stuck his head around the door.
"Bella, may I come in?" He smiled sympathetically at me and I nodded.
I was surprised to see him. Beyond laying down the house rules and what was expected of me, I didn't really have that strong a bond with him. My refusal to treat Esme and Carlisle like my parents had led to a natural reserve between us, his long and erratic hours just compounded that. Mostly, if I needed guidance or someone to lay down the law, then the job fell to Jasper.
He entered my room slowly, surveying the furniture before choosing to sit in the armchair by the bed. I looked at him.
He ran his hand through his hair after a few minutes of silence and it amused me to see how similar to Edward he looked.
He began quietly. "I won't ask you if you had a good day today. I think it's evident that you didn't."
He gestured towards me and my hands shot to my face, trying to wipe away the evidence of my unhappiness.
He slowly leaned forward to grip my wrists, pulling them away from my face, before sitting back.
"Bella, I know it might be difficult to not have much privacy in this house and I know how frustrating that must be, but I want to stress to you how much we all love having you here. And if you're upset or if we've done anything to hurt you, please know that there's always someone in this household who's willing to listen to what you have to say." He hesitated. "I realise that you're closest to Emmett and, to some degree, Jasper, but I'd just like you to remember that if you don't want to talk to one of them, Esme, Edward and I are here for you as well." He smiled lightly. "And if you wish to speak to me about anything, I promise you that I won't get offended and that nothing you tell me will get back to the others."
I sniffled before grinning weakly and nodding at him. I was touched by his offer. He was right that he would never be my first confidant, but it was still reassuring to hear that he would be here for me no matter what the rest of the family did.
Carlisle tapped his knees and then stood up and headed towards the door. "I'll leave you in peace now and I expect that Esme will bring you up something to eat later."
His hand was on the handle before I spoke up.
"I didn't make any friends."
Carlisle turned to face me and nodded thoughtfully before reclaiming his position in my armchair.
It felt like once I started talking, I then couldn't stop.
"All the girls I could've been friends with only wanted to know about the 'oh so handsome Cullen brothers.'" I mimicked a high-pitched voice and was encouraged to continue by Carlisle's wry grin. "And it just felt like what's the point if no one's ever going to like me for myself, if they only want to spend time with me because they want to get closer to Emmett or Edward or Jasper. And then everyone was comparing me to them, because you're all vampires and I know that I'm never going to be as pretty as you all, but some of the things they said..."
I felt tears prick the corners of my eyes again.
"It's not the sort of thing I can talk about with Emmett or Jasper either. Or even Edward." I whispered the last part. "They're part of the problem."
My eyes were now firmly fixed upon the duvet. I couldn't bear to look up at him and see his reaction.
"Bella."
I didn't respond.
"Bella."
This time I chanced a glance upwards. Carlisle didn't look angry or upset with me, just sympathetic.
"I wish I could say something to make this situation better, but I can't, and I think you know I can't."
I grimaced and looked back down. I wished he would just lie to me to make me feel better, but I knew that I needed to hear this.
"The fact is that now you're living with us, you'll be seen by the outside world as one of us and that provokes a certain amount of... curiosity." His brow furrowed. "I want to be able to tell you that it gets easier, but people will always want to know our secrets, to get close to us, and as much as we try to interact normally with the outside world, it's not completely possible."
I fidgeted with my hands. "Why are they coming to me then? Why don't they just talk to the lot of you?"
Carlisle pressed his hands together in front of his face. "Bella, part of your ability to live with us relatively peaceably is because you don't appear to fear us as other humans do. Something about us alerts them to our inherent predatory nature and their unconscious fear keeps them away. But you're human, Bella, and that encourages them back towards us through you. If you're safe, then they assume that we must be too. I'm afraid I can't do much about that."
"It's ok," I replied. "It's not your fault." I had a lot to think about, none the least the fact that I was headed straight back into that hell hole tomorrow, but I felt marginally better now that I had an explanation.
"Would you like me to ask the boys to keep a distance from you tomorrow? It might be easier on you."
"No." I practically shouted my denial. "No, I don't want them to stay away." My voice quieted as my embarrassment at my little outburst took over. "I mean, I like having them around."
"I'm sure they like having you around too."
"I just..." I struggled to put all my conflicting feelings into order. I looked imploringly at Carlisle. "Can I just have some time to sort myself out?"
"Of course." He was immediately on his feet. "Just remember what I said earlier. We all love you, Bella."
He stood up and swiftly moved over to me, placing a quick kiss on the top of my downturned head.
"And Bella... you're just as beautiful as any of us."
He left before I could reply; I wouldn't have been able to anyway, but he was so kind. They were all so kind to me and please god, don't let me cry again.
I sat quietly by myself, mulling over Carlisle's words. There was nothing for it. I didn't want to give up my brothers in order to make new human friends. That sacrifice just wasn't worth it. So I guess I'd just have to brave it out. The attention would wane eventually - it had to - and in the meantime I'd just keep my head down and ignore any snide comments.
After about an hour Esme stopped by with my dinner. She left with a whispered assurance that I really was a beautiful girl.
My heart swelled with love for her.
My last visitor of the day knocked on the door just after I had gotten ready for bed. Emmett shuffled his feet uncomfortably in the doorway.
"Hey, Bells. I just wanted to know if you still wanted me to read to you tonight. I don't have to, if you want some privacy."
He seemed so uncertain and I now felt bad that he had obviously heard my conversation with Carlisle earlier.
"No, that would be nice, thanks. Are we starting a new book today?"
He grinned at me, pleased. "Yep, so my Bells, we now have a choice between Gone with the Wind or Little Dorrit. What'll you go for?"
"Um, Little Dorrit," I decided.
Grabbing the book, he flopped down on my bed and I rested my head on his shoulder, drifting of the sound of his voice.
Thanks for reading. I hope this chapter was worth the wait.
Again, if you can, please think about bidding for a The Cullen Girl outtake for Fandom Gives Back. The money goes to fight childhood cancer, so it's a good cause.
