Hello I'm back again! :D Super excited to get to write so soon again! :P Anyhoo here's chapter eleven!
Rukia's POV
After we finished our movie, Ichigo got up and called Mina, letting her know we'd be at their get together. I was extremely nervous but I wouldn't tell Ichigo that. He thought I was uncomfortable around his friends but that wasn't it. I just wanted them to like me. They were so important to Ichigo and I wasn't sure if he was looking for their approval. The whole subject made my stomach twist in a knot.
That night we were laying in bed listening to the rain tap against the window. The sound was so relaxing, I was almost able to fall asleep. When I was nearly unconcious I felt Ichigo turn toward me and nudge me with his elbow. My first instinct was to ignore him, he was always waking me up for something insignificant. So I turned my head and burried it in my pillow and just groaned as he continued.
"Rukia this is really important, wake up for a minute." His hand rested on my back and began shaking me violently. I sighed loudly attempting to hide my amusemant.
"What Ichigo?" I didn't turn back to him causing my voice to sound muffled.
"Are you sure you want to go? You didn't seem very convincing before." His hand moved up and he began absently pushing around some of my hair. I couldn't hide my irritated sigh.
"I said it was fine didn't I?"
"That doesn't mean anything. I don't want to go if you're going to be uncomfortable." Concern was thick in his voice and I couldn't help but smile. I finally sat my head up and pushed my bangs out of my eyes.
"Ichigo, I already told you, I'm nervous but I want to go. Your friends are nice and you haven't seem them in so long. I want to go, okay? I wont be uncomfortable, just a little anxious. Now can I please go to sleep?" Ichigo nodded and smiled warmly, his concern had left his eyes.
"Yes. Sorry I woke you." He leaned over and lightly kissed my forehead, the way he sometimes did to Hanajima. Laying his head down on his pillow, he looked ready to sleep himself. His body was turned on it's side and though his eyes were still watching me, they slowly drooped shut before sliding back open. I curled up next to him and wrapped an arm around his waist. My other hand grabbed a hold of his t-shirt and soon I drifted of to sleep, no longer worried about Mina's dinner event.
The next few days went by quickly. Before I knew it, it was Saturday and Ichigo was picking me up for lunch with Renji and everyone else. I let him in and went back to the kitchen, not responding to his greetings. The anxiousnes came back and I felt smothered like I wasn't prepared. I double checked my bag to make sure I had everything I needed for Hanajima and walking through the house, I locked all the doors and windows. The whole time I ignored whatever Ichigo was saying until he stepped in front of me, forcing my atention on him. I stepped back and he grabbed my arm as if I would continue my nervous rampage.
"Rukia, calm down. What's wrong?" His brow was creased and worry was all over his face.
"Nothing's wrong. I'm checking the windows and doors. I'm trying to hurry so we're not late." Taking another step back I slipped out of his grip but he continued to block me. "Will you please move?"
"Ruk, they're all locked. I watched you lock them and check them all. Stop worrying, you're acting so strange." A slight smile slipped on his face and he grabbed my hand. "Now let's go." Moving closer to the door, he tugged on my hand and picked up my bag. I thanked him and took the bag, letting out a loud anxious sigh.
In the car, Ichigo continued to hold my hand even when I tried to pull away to open my window. He smiled, not taking his eyes off the road and took his free hand off the steering wheel to open it from his side. I rolled my eyes and grinned at his actions. The rest of the ride was quiet and seemed comfortable but in the silence my earlier spazz attack came back to me. I used my available hand and dug through my purse making sure I had Hana's emergency inhaler and my house keys. The list of objects that I needed to search for grew until everything in my bag seemed to gain importance. I checked over the imaginary list again and made it half way through when Ichigo snatched my bag away all together.
"Will you knock it off? You have everything okay?" He looked over at me concerned and finally pulled his hand away to rest it on the wheel. "Please tell me this is just some nervous habit, Rukia. I don't want you to stress out over something so irrelevent. Do you always act this way when you're anxious?" I nodded whiled considering whether or not to add something.
Ichigo turned back towards the road and gave a slight nod dismissively. He still looked worried but didn't say anything, so I decided to keep my mouth shut.
When we reached Renji's parking lot Ichigo killed the engine and turned to me again.
"Are you sure you're okay?" His expression killed me. I made him worry over nothing and though I was still agitated, I smiled up at him.
"I'm fine, sorry. I didn't mean to freak you out, I just...get pretty paranoid sometimes..." I was sure he wouldn't buy it since it was only partially true. I mean, I was still nervous, but Ichigo grinned back, happy for normal Rukia and opened his door. I helped Hana out of the truck and Ichigo led us to the door. He didn't bother knocking or ringing the doorbell, he walked right in and practically dragged me in after him.
Mina was the first person we saw and she lit up while greeting us. "Hello! How are you Rukia? It's been so long."
"I'm fine, thank you." Begining to feel that twisted knot in my stomach, I lacked anything better to say. I felt Ichigo lightly pat my shoulder, noticing my nervousness reappear. Mina didn't seem to realize and led us to the back yard where Renji and Hisagi were "slaving over the grill." I looked around and saw Michiru sitting at a large patio table while five small children ran around the yard playing tag. One of the older little girls ran up to me and Ichigo. Her face resembled Renji's and her long red hair took the same shape as Mina's.
"Uncle Ichigo!" She stretched her arms out towards him and he picked her up while greeting her.
"Hey Rina, how's it going?" Ichigo pushed some of her incredibly long hair behind her shoulder. She smiled happily and grabbed onto his t-shirt.
"Good! Hey, aren't you going to introduce your girlfriend." Ichigo laughed and pulled her closer.
"You've already met Rukia."
"Introduce me." Ichigo let out a quiet sigh.
"Rukia, this is Rina. Rina, this is Rukia. There, happy?" She nodded and held her arms out to me. My eyes widened and for a moment I didn't respond. I'd never held any other child besides my own. Children weren't real Rukia fans. Ichigo noticed and stretched her out towards me.
"Take her Rukia." Reluctantly, I grabbed the girl carefully, surprised by how heavy she felt. I awkardly held onto her even though her weight strained my arms and once she realized how uncomfortable my "technique" was, she wiggled out of my grip back onto the floor. Ichigo watched me curiously, his eyebrows knitted together.
"What was that about Rukia? Are you okay?" His voice held concern, as did his eyes.
"It's just...I've only ever held Hanajima..." Ichigo's eyes widened in surprise.
"Are you serious?" When I nodded, I noticed him push the subject away for another time. After leading me and Hana over to the table, he asked if I minded if he went over to talk with Hisagi and Renji.
"It's fine, go ahead."
"Are you possitive?"
"Yes Ichigo, go." He nodded, hesitated and then left. I sat down and pulled Hanajima into the chair next to me. Mina asked if Hana wanted to play with the other kids but she shook her head. I encouraged her to go play and after a few moments of delay she walked over to one of the smaller children who led her to the swing set. I smiled, shocked at how welcoming the kids were. Michiru noticed and gave me a warm smile. She and Mina began a conversation and before I knew it dinner was done. All the children came to the patio table while their mothers fixed their food and Hisagi and Ichigo started putting food on my plate along with Mina and Michiru's. The food was good and to my surprise, Hanajima ate without much hesitation. She was usually extremely picky about what she consumed. The afternoon went smoothly, we talked and Ichigo's friends asked me a lot of questions. They were friendly and I had a lot of fun, though I was still nervous that they didn't approve of me.
They entered an amusing conversation about how Hisagi and Michiru met when Mina asked Ichigo "So, Ichigo, are you going to marry this girl?" She smiled and both mine and Ichigo's eyes widened and he coughed up the drink he had just sipped out of his glass. Caught off guard he just stared at her with a hint of anger. "Well?"
"I...I don't..." Ichigo glanced at me and quickly turned back to Mina. "I don't know." Honestly his response took me off guard. It's not like I expected a proposal or even knew if thats what I wanted, but the angry expression he gave Mina sort of hurt. Though I felt my cheecks warm up, I attempted to hide my feelings and stay out of the conversation. Unfortunately, I wasn't that lucky. Hisagi turned it on me.
"Do you want to get married to Ichigo? No one would blame you if you said no." He smiled at me jokingly. I was trying to think of something to say when Ichigo suddenly interupted.
"Can we please stop talking about this?" His voice was harsh and everyone knew he was serious. No one said a word for at least a minute or two. The amusement in everyones faces was gone and we all sat still. There was a lot of tension at the table and I was glad Hana was off playing. Finally Mina spoke breaking some of the tension.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to cause a problem." She spoke as if she were talking to both of us but she held Ichigo's gaze as the words came out of her mouth. Ichigo's expression was still hard and his eyebrow twitched slightly.
"Whatever," was all he said and before I realized what I was doing I nudged him with my elbow.
"Ichigo, don't be rude..." My voice grew quieter with every word. I didn't mean to chastise him, especially not in front of everyone. All eyes around the table were on Ichigo and myself. Everyone was smiling at my comment and Renji chipped in saying, "She's right, Ichigo." Then Renji mockingly nudged him in the ribs with his elbow.
Ichigo angrily shoved Renji's arm away and stood, pushing his chair away from the table. Everyone looked up at him surprisingly and I instinctively reached for his hand. He pulled away from me and stomped away agressively. I fought the anger that naturally rose up in me and put Ichigo's feelings first. I stood and was about to go after him when Michiru lightly grabbed my wrist.
"Don't. Let him get it out or he might say something he regrets. Let him cool off." Her expression was serious and concerned. Despite the nervous feeling in my stomach, I listened and sat back down. After a few minutes Renji and Hisagi got up, each grabbing a beer and Renji grabbing a second one for Ichigo I presumed. They stalked off towards the house, the direction Ichigo had stomped off to. Mina turned her attention towards me and slightly frowned.
"I'm sorry, Rukia. I didn't mean to make him so angry. I shouldn't have brought up such a sensitive topic for him." Her hand slid across the table and patted my own carefully. "I hope I didn't cause any problems for the two of you." Her words shocked me. I didn't realize what this could do to my relationship with Ichigo. Was he netorious for running out when it got difficult? When it got serious? These were his closest friends, they were concerned. Did that mean I should worry? What if they pushed him to his limits and ruined our relationship. I didn't want to blame Mina but what if it was her fault?
I pushed that natural anger away again and remained calm, my facial expression neutral. I was jumping to conclusions. One statement couldn't cause him to break up with me, right? I felt my eyebrows knit together and that worry slowly spread over my face. Michiru layed her hand on my shoulder comfortingly.
"Really, don't worry. Ichigo's going to calm down. He keeps things bottled up so when he gets upset, he just sort of blows up. I mean, surely you noticed that. Please, don't worry. He'll be fine." Before I got the chance to respond, Ichigo and the other two walked back to the table. A scowl was still on Ichigo's face and his fists were clenched tightly, arms laying at his sides. He sat down and muttered a quiet apology. For the rest of dinner he picked at his food and gradually calmed down. He didn't really respond to anyone but his glare left and he later apologized more geniunally.
Once everyone was finished eating I assisted Mina and Michiru clear the table. As I grabbed Ichigo's plate, I leaned over closer to him and asked him if he was alright. He simply nodded. Frustrated, I turned and started toward the house before I felt Ichigo grab my arm carefully, aware of the dishes in my hands. He stood and stepped closer to me.
"I'm really sorry, Rukia." He frowned down at me and I felt some of my earlier frustration slip away from me. "I overreacted and I'm really sorry." I pulled away from him and gave him a small smile.
"It's fine." Before he could answer, I walked into the kitchen and began scraping leftover food off our plates. I moved over to the sink and began helping with washing the dishes and tried to push the thoughts of Ichigo's freak out out of my mind, hoping the rest of the night would go more smoothly.
Ichigo's POV
After I calmed down, I realized how rediculous I had been. I still didn't appreciate Mina's comment and didn't plan on another marriage discussion for a long while, but I felt like I'd hurt Rukia's feelings. I wouldn't blame her for taking offense. I acted as though marrying her repulsed me but to tell the truth, I'm just too insecure to even contemplate marriage. Rukia and I had a great relationship and for the first time in my life I'd fallen in love. I didn't want to move too quickly and ruin this. Thats why I freaked out, besides the part of myself who's affraid of that type of commitment. I tried not to think of it and attempted to have some fun before we had to leave and possibly talk more about my total spazz out.
Once the girls went inside to clean up the kids ran up to us and begged us all to play a game of tag with them. Renji and Hisagi sighed obviously sick of the game their kids adored so as slight payback I immediantly agreed. The kids squeeled happily and proclaimed that Hisagi would be the first to be "it." Once the game started I noticed Hanajima lag along. Concerned I walked up and asked if she was alright. She simply shook her head and slightly cocked her eyebrow, looking exactly like her mother. I asked if she liked tag and her only response was to shrug. My chest clenched once I realized what was wrong. Hana had never played before. Rukia mentioned that she'd only ever played with Rukia and had practically no experience with other children. This sweet little girl had never played tag before, it bothered me more than I thought it would. I forced myself to push those feelings away and I plastered a smile on. I knelt down next to her and explained the rules of the game. She seemed to understand and soon joined in on the game. I couldn't help but smile as she ran away from an approaching Hisagi.
The game continued until Hisagi was about to pass out, he was dubbed the official tagger and apparently a pact was made against him. Everytime a child was tagged they immediantly tagged Hisagi or tagged another child who was fast enough to keep up with him. After about a half an hour, we called it quits and headed inside. The children ran for the kitchen yelling something about dessert when I felt small hands tug on my pant leg. I looked down to see Hanajima standing between Renji and myself. Hisagi was walking behind us breathing heavily. I absently picked Hana up and asked if she had fun. She nodded her head enthusiastically and layed her head on my shoulder tiredly. Her tiny arms wrapped around my neck and she relaxed. I was surprised to hear her speak especially with two others there. Her voice was so bold and out spoken for Hana.
"I love you, Daddy." Though a little slurred together, it was clear and as she spoke those words I froze midstep. Renji and Hisagi both stopped and looked at Hanajima as if they weren't sure they heard her right. She had drifted to sleep and didn't notice my reaction. My eyes were wide-set and my mind started spinning. Did she...just call me...Daddy?
I was positve that my friends would comment on her statement just as they had about the marriage conversation but they just stood there for several moments in silence. Finally Renji spoke.
"Did she just call you Daddy?" I heard the slightest hint of amusement in his voice but I didn't react to his question. I just stood there hearing her small, bold voice over and over again. Hisagi was about to say something when Rukia stepped out of the kitchens sliding glass doors onto the deck. She noticed the akward situation and hesitated before speaking.
"Are you guys alright?" She furrowed her brow and she took a step closer to us. I was finally able to find my voice and nodded while answering.
"Yeah...we're fine. Uh, did you need me?" My voice started quietly but eventually rose to it's average volume. Rukia relaxed as soon as she detected myself relaxing, taking comfort in the renewed calmness from before Mina's marriage comment. She smiled up at me and Hana before stepping even closer to us.
"I was just wondering if you wouldn't mind heading home. Hanajima should be in bed soon.
"Oh, uh, yeah sure. We can go."
"Are you sure?" I nodded and gave her a confident smile that I knew would ease her doubt. She grinned back and in a few minutes we were saying our goodbyes. After a long private apology from Mina and difficult convincing that it was okay, though it was not okay, we were in the truck, heading towards Rukia's house. The car ride was silent and I could feel the discomfort radiating off of Ruk. After about ten minutes of the suffocating silence she finally asked me if i was okay.
"Are you still mad?" She frowned slightly at me, turning her body carefully towards me making sure she didn't stir Hanajima. My grip tightened on the stirring wheel uncomfortably but she didn't seem to mind.
"No, I'm fine. I guess I'm just tired, those kids really wore me out." I smiled at the thought of the children running around and how they had accepted Hana, acting as though she were another sibling. I glanced over at Rukia and saw her smile back at me.
"You're so great with kids. I just thought it was Hanajima who liked you but it's all kids." Her smile widened and all the memories came flooding back to me. The anger that coursed through me at the mention of marriage and the shock of Hana's words. Rukia kept up a steady and comfortable conversation but my mind was off elsewhere. The whole way there I kept telling myself that I'd gotten in too deep with Rukia. I'd fallen in love yes, but I'd opened myself up and put myself in a vulnerable position. I felt doubt start to cloud my mind and as much as I hated myself for it, I started justifying my thoughts. I almost convinced myself to break up with her as soon as I dropped her off but then decided she deserved an explanation. I didn't want to leave Rukia but I didn't want to be stuck in this vulnerable spot.
As I carried Hanajima to her bed, her words rang in my head.
"I love you, Daddy."
I shook my head letting the memory spill out of my mind. What have I gotten myself into?
Finally, here it is! :D Please review! :) I hope you all enjoyed!
