With each kiss Lightning melted further into the familiar hold of her soul mate. One minute Fang had been a patient whom she was still getting to know, and the next she was everything and more. She was the one that Lightning longed to wake up with and the one she had always fallen into an easy sleep with. She was the one that picked Lightning up when she needed it, and the one she could always turn to. She was the one person Lightning truly knew, inside and out.

Fang gathered Lightning into her arms, eager to feel Lightning's form against hers after so many years of longing. She could feel the slight tremble in Lightning's hands as they cupped her face, and was reminded of nearly every first kiss the two had shared. She fought the urge to smile as her heart beat faster. She was no longer a stranger in Lightning's eyes. She could feel it in the way Lightning kissed her; slowly, savouring the moment with warm open mouthed kisses. Lightning's kiss felt so familiar, Fang felt like she'd finally found her footing. Things were falling into place, she belonged in this world. No longer was she bound to live vicariously through her memories, cursing at her other selves for having what she so desperately wanted. Fang couldn't hold back her smile any longer.

Feeling Fang smile against her lips, Lightning briefly recalled that Fang was prone to grinning during a kiss. The Pulsian couldn't hold back when she was happy as well as Lightning could. The thought caused Lightning to smile into the kiss in return. How strange it was to simply know Fang.

"Fang, I... I want you to have this." Lightning's own voice played through her head as she threaded her fingers through Fang's hair. The voices seamed to drift about her like motes of dust in a sunbeam before they settled and the world started to fade around her once again. This time she wasn't as alarmed as her senses started to fail but she felt a slight disappointment as the feeling of Fang's lips on hers became a numbing sensation until it disappeared completely and the world turned to nothing.


"... I can't take that, Light." Fang looked at her with earnest eyes.

"I want you to have it." Lightning heard herself say again, and took Fang's hand in hers, turning her hand up as she placed her necklace into Fang's palm. "...So you won't forget."

Fang's hand trembled in Lightning's as she closed her hand tightly around the lightning bolt shaped necklace. "I could never forget you."

The scene played out in front of Lightning's eyes again, but this time, she didn't question it. She simply watched as the memory unfolded in front of her, taking in the moment. The people around them walked on by in a hazy blur of unrecognizable words, leaving the two in their own still world. Around them, the environment was cast in various shades of grey, their details blurry and serving only as a backdrop to her true focus; Fang, who was vibrant by comparison. Lightning could see the flecks of colour in Fang's sorrow-filled eyes, the wild strands of hair that always fell beautifully on her face, the slight purse of her full lips. Everything Lightning had always loved shone lucidly in front of her.

Fang looked pained and after a small moment pulled Lightning to her chest and buried her face in Lightning's neck. Lightning could feel the soft breath on her skin as her body wrapped its arms tightly around Fang in return. "Go on... You're going to miss your train..." Lightning's voice was small.

Fang finally pulled away and looked Lightning in the eyes. She held her gaze on Lightning's for a brief moment before pulling her back in and pressing her lips to Lightning's own. A goodbye kiss, filled with everything she wanted Lightning to know. The sensation tingled across Lightning's lips and brought an end to the memory as the scene faded away.


As the memory wore away and reality settled in once again, Lightning felt Fang cradling her against her shoulder. Lightning let out a shaky breath as if she had stopped breathing. The memories and voices continued to wash over her leaving her nearly winded in Fang's arms. She balled Fang's scrubs into her hands, a gesture to reassure her that Fang wasn't about to step onto a train and walk out of her life. The memory felt so real, like it had just taken place. All the emotions that her other self had felt in the moment, Lightning felt too. Her head was throbbing with each new small memory but she ignored it and buried her face deeper into Fang taking in the scent of wildflowers.

"...you alright? You... zoned out again." Fang asked when she felt Lightning move her head against her shoulder.

Lightning nodded and breathed Fang in once again, letting the scent lull her into security like it always had in her past lives.

"I didn't want you to see this..." The memory of Fang's accented voice echoed with a distant distortion.

"Woah."

Lightning's head felt like it was ready to split in two but the memories continued to come. She cringed in anticipation of the next one as the voices became clearer and her temples throbbed. Soon the world began to fade again and she dropped back into her memories.


"Yeah..." Fang hung her head in shame, avoiding Lightning's eyes as Lightning slowly walked by Fang and into her small apartment.

"It's... not that bad, Fang." It was a lie. The small room around them was barren save for some old run down amenities, a mattress on the floor and a few cheap pieces of makeshift furniture. An old industrial spool on its side served as a small table where Fang's textbooks sat. A single blanket spilled off the mattress in a heap, next to a lamp that sat on the floor, while Fang's limited wardrobe lay in a single pile at the end of the mattress. The room smelled of dust and something strange that one of Fang's neighbours had decided to cook for dinner.

"You kiddin', Light? When it rains I have to put a pot down to catch the water..." Fang scrunched up her face in slight anger. "I can't afford bette'... No one wants to hire a Pulsian."

Lightning bit her lip as she scanned the contemptible room. It certainly wasn't what anyone would call a home. "Fang," Lightning turned to Fang and lightly took her hand, "you know you can stay with me, right?"

Fang puffed with a small sense of derision. "Yeah... I'm sure that'd go down well with your ol' man. He hates me, Light."

Lightning shook her head. "My father doesn't hate you. He just...well, he-"

"Hates Pulsians. In case you didn't know... I'm a Pulsian."

"I hadn't noticed..." Lightning deadpanned back before sighing. "What are you gonna do, Fang? Live here until your schooling is done?"

"That's the plan." Fang sighed, the shame still clear on her face, but she tried to hide it. "Maybe after I get my degree, someone will actually hire me." She paused and made a face. "You're not... ashamed of me, are you?"

Lightning furrowed her brow. "Of course not..." She placed her arms over Fang's shoulders bringing them nose to nose. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"Sharing yourself with me."


Lightning came too again, her temples pounding against her skull. She took a couple deep breaths to recover from the strange out of body-like experience. It was the oddest sensation to sit in on a memory so vivid and real but not be able to tell her body what to do. She was simply an observer of times gone by.

She felt the familiar feeling of Fang's arms still wrapped around her and let herself relax. Even with the constant wave of memories continually pulling her out of reality, she knew she could count on Fang to keep her secure.

Fang held her close and rubbed a warm hand at the back of Lightning's neck, letting her fingers run through her hair. She was providing Lightning with the support she needed in the moment as Lightning once again fought to stay in reality as another memory beckoned at the edge of her mind.


The room was awash with white flowers, or so Lightning assumed. It could just as easily be that she couldn't recall the colours and so they faded to white in her memory. Amongst the flowers were people dressed lavishly in intricate gowns and sharp black suits. They blurred slightly as she milled about, slow dancing and visiting amongst themselves.

"I took it upon myself to find you a date." It was Serah's voice this time, Lightning would know the sweet tones anywhere and she turned to her sister beside her.

"Serah," Lightning huffed in annoyance, "I don't need a date."

"Yeah? Well it's too late to back out now." Serah smiled. She was dressed in a beautiful white wedding gown, a glass of champagne in hand, and a sparkling new ring on her finger. "Consider it you're wedding gift to me."

Lightning frowned. "I already got you a wedding gift."

"And I will treasure my coffee maker dearly, but I thought it would be nice if you had someone to spend the evening with too..." Serah smiled slyly from behind her glass.

Lightning furrowed her brow and frowned more. "You got me a date to your wedding? Do you really want me to ruin your day?"

Serah simply grinned. "Mom thought it was a good idea too, so you can't pin it all on me."

"Of course she did..."

"Relax, sis. I know your type. Tall, dark, and handsome, right?"

Lightning sighed and ran a hand through her pink hair. "Serah... My type is... well..." Lightning fought to find the words. She really hadn't planned to come out to her sister on the girl's wedding day but she was backed into a corner.

"Ah, there she is!" Serah excitedly waved across the room.

Lightning raised her brows. "She?" Lightning followed Serah's line of site to where a tall, dark haired woman was making her way through the see of blurry faces. Fang. Lightning wanted to smile at the sight of Fang dressed sharply in a black suit, but her body didn't comply as the Lightning in her memory didn't know Fang just yet. Instead she felt her body's heart beat quicken and her palms begin to sweat slightly as Fang made her way towards them.


The memory disappeared as quickly as it had come and Lightning found herself back in Fang's warm hold. Fang was right. They found each other every time. She could slip in and out of vivid memories but even those she didn't step into, she could still recall. Lifetime after lifetime, and reality after reality, they always found each other. Every class that could divide them was never enough to keep them apart. It was as if Etro had bound their souls together in Valhalla and they were drawn together in the visible world by her guiding hand.

"No. No. No. No... Get up!" Lightning jolted slightly in Fang's arms as the words ran through her mind. She could hear the pain in her own pleading voice. Fear suddenly washed over her and she could feel everything fading away again. She fought to stay in reality, afraid of what was to come but it came all the same.


"Fang! Get up!" Adrenaline coursed through Lightning's body as she pushed the heal of her palm into Fang's chest in a rhythmic pattern. Over and over again, she pumped Fang's chest until her arms ached and she felt Fang's ribs crack from the pressure. "Fang!" She yelled again.

Her entire body was trembling with adrenaline as she tried desperately to revive Fang. She watched as the colour drained from her face and as time went on her panic only increased. Tears formed along her eyes and she felt them fall freely onto Fang as she worked to keep Fang's heart pumping.

She periodically leaned over her, pinched her nose closed and breathed into Fang's lungs, filling them with air. She tried to keep the trembling to a minimum, knowing that any mistake could cost her Fang's life.

Lightning was so caught up in the scene that she briefly forgot it wasn't her reality. She felt it with all the same intensity and fear as she had when it had actually happened. Every nerve ending that fired, every hot tear that rolled down her cheek, every chocked sob. She relived it all.


Lightning gasped and felt the tight hold of Fang's arms still around her. Hot tears were running down her cheeks and her body shook with the same fear she'd just remembered. She held desperately to Fang as she tried to push the memory from her mind but the thought of losing Fang seemed to trigger more memories. She could recall countless times as she watched Fang die and each small memory broke her heart again and again. The image of Fang laying in various hospital beds, or battlefields. In accidents and worse.

She shook harder and placed a hand over her mouth to muffle the pain.

"Lightnin'! Look at me!" Fang pulled Lightning back, placing her hands on her cheeks, fear and worry evident in her eyes. "It's okay! You're okay!"

"I-..." Lightning was gasping for air. "I can't- I can-"

"Focus, Light. Focus on me." Fang fought to get Lightning's attention and after a moment Lightning's eyes found Fang's. She kept her eyes focused on hers and tried desperately to control her breathing. "That's it. Deep breaths... Nice and slow..." Fang slowly stroked Lightning's face with her thumb as her breathing started to slow. She appeared to calm down as she kept her attention focused on Fang and after a moment her eyelids began to fall. She fought to keep them open but the overload of emotions seamed too much for her to handle and eventually they closed and Lightning slumped forward into Fang.

"Light?" There was no response, but the body in Fang's arms had stopped trembling and kept even breathes. "Light." She tried again but still, Lightning was unresponsive.

Fang furrowed her brow in worry and adjusted Lightning in her arms so she could see her face. The panic Lightning had shown only moments ago had disappeared and was replaced with a quiet, serene expression. Fang tapped her fingers against Lightning's cheek in an attempt to wake her but all she received was a soft moan of what she could only describe as annoyance from the girl. The small moan was a slight reassurance and Fang sighed a small sigh of relief before tenderly wiping away the wet trails along Lightning's cheeks and placing a soft kiss to her forehead.

She studied Lightning's sleeping face and bit her lip, not sure on what to do. She had been relieved when she had seen the loving eyes of her Lightning looking back at her. The lifetimes of love were clear in those eyes. Her heart had leapt into her throat when she recognized that gaze. She knew in that very moment that Lightning finally knew her and the kiss... The kiss sealed it all. It had been everything she remembered and more. She'd been waiting her entire life for that moment. Waiting for the day Lighting would melt against her. But this... She knitted her brow in worry at the limp body in her arms. She hadn't expected this...

Fang pulled a small face, debating with herself whether or not to call for help. Would Lightning even want her to call for help? No one but Lightning and Vanille believed Fang, would they even believe Lightning? Would they end up putting her on stress leave or mandating she have herself evaluated?

Fang thought back on all her experiences with Lightning and made a decision to wait. Lightning was never fond of being fussed over, unless it was life threatening, but the easy breathing and the small flutter of Lightning's eyes moving under her eyelids was enough to reassure Fang that she'd merely passed out.

She tucked an arm behind Lightning's back and another under her knees, picking her up and carrying her to the red chaise chair before laying her out. Fang adjusted Lightning on the chaise into a more comfortable position before she crouched beside her and wrapped an arm protectively around her, softly stroking Lightning's back. "Light?" She tried again but the woman was still passed out.

It was clear that Lightning had begun remembering. She didn't have to say it, but Fang knew. She knew how easy it was to become overwhelmed as one memory could trigger another and another and another. She'd spent many evenings travelling down dark roads in her own mind. The more intense the memory, the easier it was to fixate on it and every other one like it. But even knowing this, Fang worried. She'd never experienced something so intense that she blacked out before. Lightning almost looked like she stepped out of reality time and again... Her stare would fixate in the distance and she would no longer react to what was around her. Something Fang herself couldn't recall ever having gone through.

Fang chewed on her lip slightly and brushed Lightning's rose coloured hair behind her ear. She sighed slightly and let her hand rest on Lightning's cheek. "Don't you worry, Light. I've got you." She wasn't sure if Lightning could hear her but she had to say something. Though she wasn't sure if it was to reassure Lightning or to reassure herself.


AN: AGGGGHGHAGH This chapter was so hard to write for some stupid reason! The transitions and the whole trying to differentiate what our Lightning is thinking/feeling vs what her memory selves were thinking/feeling and just... trying to make it make sense and urhh... I hope it makes sense. I've been staring at it for so long I don't know if it does anymore. I fear the next chapter will be just as annoying but hopefully will go smoother. Anyway. Hope you liked it. I'm going to go scream into a pillow and hope all the frustration was worth it.