Clouds in my coffee – Chapter Eleven
And, I'm not dead. Just a few other chapters and then it's a wrap. Thank you all for your patience, I hope you like this.
Special thanks to Becky, that is still the best Beta in the world. And thanks to you, who waited for this chapter. I love you all.
Ps: If you're not reading it yet, you should check out "My Perfect Match" By Nens. It's a really good fic, and we might have something in mind for you guys.
"So.. Seems like forever uh?"
"Excuse me?" Maura asked, looking at Jane walking beside her.
"Well.. Seems like it's been years since Lee wasn't with us, and we had a nice night on our own." Jane clarified, smiling in the dark.
"Yes. You're right."
It had been a month since Jane Rizzoli gave birth to Regina Lee Rizzoli.
A month, in which Jane and Maura had less sleep than in a lifetime.
A month, where Jane and Maura didn't need sleep. All they needed, they had. A wonderful healthy baby daughter, who, every day, resembled her mother more. They had a supporting loving family around them, with caring uncles, cousins, grandparents. And they had their love, for each other and for Lee, which grew every day.
Jane was always joking, Lee was going to be the most spoiled child in the world with three grandmothers. Angela, Constance and Hope were always the first in line for babysitting and strolling. Then, Frankie, Korsak, Frost, Cailin and Tommy came. The last one, always pulling the cousins-stuff excuse, claiming that TJ and Lee needed to be friends.
And even though everyone seemed to claim their time with Lee every minute of the day, for Maura and Jane the last month hadn't been easy. Without her detective uniform, Jane felt bad and bored. Without her corpses and her scrubs, Maura felt empty and useless. But again, they didn't even have time to think about anything that wasn't Lee and her needs.
After a month, both Jane and Maura were exhausted, sleepy and cranky. Just like Lee. So that particular night, the Grandmothers Team came and kidnapped Lee, forcing Jane and Maura to have a night on their own, just like old good times.
Just like good old times, Jane waited for Maura to be ready and beautiful, and then she drove them to the 'Robber'. They ate greasy cheeseburgers and fries (well, Jane ate fries while Maura stole hers) and laughed like girls. After desserts, Maura asked Jane to take a walk outside the restaurant before going back home. Now there they were, walking hand in hand in a dark September night in Boston.
But it wasn't like good old times, because both women knew that there was a child, a daughter, waiting for them at home. And there was no better sensation in the world.
"Are you cold?" Jane asked, looking at Maura's summer dress. September was already pretty cold that year.
"I'm fine thank you." Maura answered, squeezing Jane's hand and smiling.
They walked again in silence, until Jane spoke again with her rough voice.
"I need to talk to you." She said. Maura didn't look at her, but nodded. "Okay."
"It's about… Casey."
Jane could feel Maura's sweating palm against her scarred one, but didn't lose the grip.
"It's all right, I'm listening." Maura encouraged. She knew exactly what Jane was telling her.
"Well, It's some weeks that he's calling me - asking for Lee." Jane didn't have the heart to look into Maura's eyes.
"And what did you say?"
"I don't know. I've been telling him that I needed to talk to you first, but the moment never came because this month has been just hell."
"Jane, I don't like you comparing things to the lower world, let alone our daughter." Maura complained, stopping in the middle of the street.
"I'm sorry, you know what I meant."
To Jane's surprise, Maura laughed. Slowly, she looked at her, her blonde hair down on her shoulders and her mouth wide open. Maura's green eyes were squeezed closed, and with her free hand she was grasping her stomach.
"I still get you, huh, Jane?" She joked.
"Yeah, yeah, you do, doc." Jane answered, but her voice was serious.
"I'm sorry. Jane. Keep talking." Maura's eyes were open, now.
"Well. Casey. He called me. Asked for Lee. Didn't know what to tell him. End of the story."
Maura walked silently along with Jane. That was exactly what she loved most. Walking beside the love of her life. Walking through life, through rough times, like there was no other person on their street. Like they were the best walking team ever. And now, a little baby was walking with them. Maura loved that.
"Jane, he's been calling me, too. I had the same reaction, and I wanted to talk to you, but I didn't want to. It was – still is – your decision."
"What do you mean, 'mine', Maura? Lee's yours too. You get to decide for her future, you know that right?" Jane looked at Maura.
"I know, Jane. I just think that after everything I put you through with this story, I thought that it was your turn to make this particular important decision. You know that the moment he sees Lee, he will fall in love with her." Maura thought about their daughter.
"I think I know, Maur."
"I love her, so much. I love the way she cries at night, calling for us. I love the way she just looks at me, with her big brown eyes that are just like yours. And I love it even more when the two of you are looking at me. It's like having my soul scrutinized by you. I like it."
"And I love looking at you. Always have." Maura let out a laugh.
"Anyway – " Jane went on. "I love her too. Maybe because I love her too much I didn't want to let Casey into her life. But we already talked about this. I know he deserves this. And Lee, she deserves this too."
"Jane..?"
"You know, Maura. Sometimes I think I won't be enough for her. There are times, at night, when I hear her cry and I decide to let you sleep and take care of her myself, in those nights, I look at her. At her small perfect hand, at her dark hair, at her mouth. And I think I can't be enough for such a perfect human being. She's so perfect, Maura. I'm so.. not." Jane tried not to touch per scarred palms, but it was impossible. Maura squeezed both her hands and kissed her fingers, stopping in the middle of the sidewalk.
"You, Jane Rizzoli, are the most amazing mother one child could ask for. I've seen you with her, Jane. I see you every single day. I see the way you take care of her, when you change der diaper, when you feed her, when you cuddle with her. Even when you bring her in our bed, which I told you not to do." Maura smiled slightly in the end, caressing Jane's cheek.
"You are a great mother. The greatest." Maura concluded, proud of Jane. Her Jane.
"You are a great mother, too. Me and Lee are so lucky to have you."
"It's Lee and I. And I am the lucky one, silly. Remember, you're my nutball?" Maura caused Jane to laugh out loud, while she took Maura's hand and turned, walking back to the 'Robber' and to their car.
"So, you're calling Casey tomorrow?" Maura asked, hugging Jane's side.
"Yeah, I guess so." Jane answered, embracing the blonde doctor's shoulder.
"Lee's our daughter, Jane. Nothing is never going to change that." Jane smiled, kissing Maura's temple.
"You know what I'm thinking?" Jane asked, her voice low and sultry.
"I don't, Jane. It is physically impossible to read someone's mind, even if there are some computers which react to one's particular thoughts, formulating an answer that mirrors what.."
"Enough, Smartypants. God, I miss hearing you talking google." Jane breathed out.
"Jane, I always talk google. Don't you listen to me when I talk?"
"Not lately, no. I like to do what my heart tells me to do with Lee. And no, I don't want to hear you talking right now." Jane cut the argument short and kissed Maura's head again.
"Janee.."
"You know when some months ago I told you that I didn't feel like going to bed with you?" Maura's heart skipped a couple of beats.
"Yes, I remember."
"Well. You being a mother it's possibly the most exciting thing ever. I want you, every day, Maura. I want to feel your skin, kisses and hugs aren't enough. Not anymore. I want you, Maura."
"You have me. You sleep next to me every night, Jane."
"Yeah, with a crying baby next door. Since I moved in with you, I haven't even had the time to kiss you properly and tell you how much I love you." Jane underlined her soft breath on Maura's ear tracing Maura's jawline with her finger.
Maura's ear was on fire. Jane's mouth was so close and so hot, she couldn't even answer.
"Take me home, Jane."
"Oh, so you feel the same way? And what's with 'respecting my needs'?" Jane teased, a wicked smile on her thin lips.
"Oh, Jane. I do respect your needs. I respect them so much I won't let you sleep tonight. And Lee will get no credit for that." They were in front of their car at the 'Robber' again, and Maura leaned into Jane, capturing her lips in a hot kiss. Jane's hands wandered on Maura's body, sweetly squeezing her soft curves.
"Jane?" Maura interrupted the kiss, smiling against Jane's lips. "I love you too."
