A/N: Oooops, I just realized I promised you this chapter would be up last Tuesday... umm, yeah. I wish I could come up with some totally reasonable excuse for why it is late, but the truth is... I simply forgot (well, I didn't forget writing, I forgot that I promised you I'd update Tuesday...). Sorry. *unpacks the apology cookies again*
So thanks for putting up with me :) Seriously, I love you all. Hope you enjoy chapter 11!
Chapter 11
"You have to go now," Madge pants when they finally break the kiss. "My father will be home soon."
Gale nods reluctantly, his gaze glued to her pretty, flushed face. He doesn't want to go, not now… But of course he goes, anyway. Gale has learned from a very young age that the thing you want to do is not always the right thing to do.
So he lets her usher him out through the back door. He even leans down and allows her to peck him on the cheek; a privilege usually reserved for his mother.
"Goodbye, Gale."
"Bye, Madge. And thanks… for the cupcakes."
Madge just shrugs and watches as Gale makes his way back home, her taste still on his lips. She's a good kisser for a girl that pretty much keeps to herself and can't possibly have that much experience with boys. Gale briefly wonders if this could have been her first real kiss – but his thoughts soon start wandering away from Madge and as he crosses the border from Town to Seam, the only thing in his mind is the desperate longing to find out how one of Catnip's kisses would taste.
It's the third nearly sleepless night in a row for Gale. He's tossing and turning, unable to get the rest he needs so badly. His thoughts drift from Catnip to Madge and back; his shallow dreams are haunted by grey eyes turning into blue ones, by fire being extinguished by water. And blood, so much blood everywhere…
Maybe he has done Madge wrong all these years. Maybe she's more than a spoiled, shallow rich girl…
The Games are slowly but steadily coming to an end. There are only six contestants alive and Catnip is one of them. Gale dares to hope again.
And then there's the rule change. The look on Katniss' face when she shouts Peeta's name almost kills Gale.
Katniss and Peeta are lying in a small cave, snuggled against each other, even sharing that damn sleeping bag. Gale feels his blood boil. This should be him. It's exactly the way Catnip and him snuggled up when they were trapped out in the woods because the fence was electrified. He should be the one protecting her, the strong shoulder she could lean on, not that wimpy baker boy!
Gale knows it's just an act, a show for the sponsors. Maybe Catnip's best chance to come home. But still…
She needs Peeta Mellark to make it out of the Games alive. Just like she needed Gale to feed her family all those years… The thought hurts beyond belief.
What if that's just what Katniss Everdeen does – choose the one person who makes survival the easiest for her? What if she doesn't like Gale at all but just befriended him because she knew he'd make a good hunting partner and would help her to bring more food on her family's table? Has she played with him? Has he been nothing more than a tool for her, just like Peeta is now?
Suddenly Gale feels sick.
The point where everything is just too much to take is reached when Katniss kisses Peeta. The whole country is probably cheering, celebrating the star-crossed lovers of District 12. Gale just wants to throw up.
He's out of the house before his brain even makes the conscious decision to run. Enough is enough. He doesn't care anymore that this is a mandatory broadcast, that he will be punished, thrown into the stocks or whipped or worse if the Peacekeepers catch him on the streets now. It doesn't matter. A whipping can't possibly hurt more than watching this.
His first instinct is to flee to the woods. His second home, his sanctuary. The only place where he feels truly free. But the Capitol even prevents this little consolation by providing electricity and therefore making the fence impassable during the Games – of course, they wouldn't want the citizens to miss a single minute of the glorious show.
Gale spits on the ground and curses angrily. A tiny, unreasonable bit of him even hopes for a Peacekeeper to show up – he could use some sort of punching bag.
He has no idea how he ends up at the mayor's house, throwing pebbles against Madge's window. The broadcast must be over by now because she opens it almost immediately.
"No strawberries today?" It's the only greeting he gets.
The last time he kissed Madge, it felt like he was betraying Catnip. But Catnip doesn't exist anymore. Gale's Catnip would never kiss Peeta Mellark, no, she was strong and capable and independent and wouldn't need baker boy's sloppy kisses to help her win the Games.
Gale is angry and hurt and he just doesn't care. He has no commitment to Katniss – so he just closes his eyes and presses his chapped lips firmly against Madge's soft ones.
"Stay the night, Gale," she whispers, almost pleads. "Father's always working and Mother is under heavy medication most of the time. My only friend might be dead before dawn. I'm just so lonely…" Her voice almost breaks his heart. "Just stay with me, Gale. Please. Only for one night…"
Gale swallows hard and nods. Madge is a nice girl, he decides. It's not her fault that she's born as the mayor's daughter – she deserves a little solace, a little company.
So he stays and they spend the night together in Madge's big, soft bed, talking, holding each other, kissing, making out, and talking again.
She tells him about an aunt of hers that has apparently died in the Games years before. Gale wants to tell her something personal in return, but the only stories that come to his mind are related to Catnip and he has a feeling that she wouldn't appreciate him talking about another girl while he's in bed with her. It's probably better that way – he's never been much of a talker.
So he just lets his body speak, tries to make her feel good. He isn't sure it works – it's still one of the areas where he's very insecure.
That night, Gale abandons all his noble resolutions about chastity and waiting for the right one - what reason does he have to stick to them? His right one is lying in a cave hundreds of miles away kissing another boy…
The sun's already rising when Gale dresses again. He mentally prepares for one hell of a lecture from his mother when he comes home.
Madge watches him from the bed, her sleepy gaze softly caressing his toned, muscular form. She's beautiful, Gale has to admit. He isn't quite sure if spending the night with her was the best or the worst idea of his life.
When he turns to leave, she takes a few coins out of a jar hidden in her dresser. It's the same amount of money Katniss and him usually demand for the strawberries.
"But I didn't sell you any berries this time," he says confused when she puts the coins in the front pocket of his shirt.
"This isn't for any strawberries. It's for you." She reaches up and strokes his cheek before she allows him to step out into the hall and to tiptoe his way out.
Madge is a kind girl, a good person. She only means well. But it still irks Gale that she seems to think he's worth exactly as much as a basket full of strawberries.
Gale hates Madge Undersee. He hates her for making him give up all his pride and his morals just for one night of forgetting.
He hates Katniss for using him all those years and then betraying him when Peeta Mellark is suddenly of more use to her.
He hates himself for being weak and bad tempered and unfair – yes, of course he's being unfair, he knows it, he just doesn't care anymore!
But most of all Gale hates the Capitol because if you look at the big picture, all of this is their fault.
