Author's Note: ThunderBenderPrincess and jacquelinelittlebird, here are your Gibbs Pork Chops at last. I hope you like them: )

Editor's Note: No pigs or pirates were harmed for the writing of this chapter. The writing was supervised by PETP (People for Ethical Treatment of Pirates/Pigs). The monkey got swatted once, though. But he deserved it.

Mr. Gibbs' Pork Chops

You need:
1 pig
1 butcher's cleaver
3 large onions
1 pint of cream
pepper and salt
1 lump of tofu

Take the butcher's cleaver and go to the pigsty. Take a swig from your leather bottle for courage. Offer another one to the pig. Tie a rope round the pig's neck and lead it outside. Lift the butcher's cleaver and plan to knock down the pig. Try to resist sad piggy eyes. Struggle with yourself for several minutes, then drop the cleaver and untie the pig, patting its back and apologising profusely.

Put a pan with some vegetable oil on the fire. Peel the onions and cut them into small bits. Fry them until they're glassy, then add the sliced tofu. Shoo away Mr. Cotton's parrot before he poops in your pan, and keep an eye on the monkey.

Season with salt and pepper, then fry on both sides. Make a sauce with the cream and more salt and pepper while taking a few more swigs from your bottle. (Remember: Cooking while you're sober is bad luck!!!)

Sit down on the porch with the pig, share the tofu "chops" with it, have a nice chat and enjoy the sunset.