I haven't updated in FOREVER!!! I've had (oh, God, I don't even want to say it) writer's block. I pride myself on my lack of that particular thing but NO. Just when it was getting good I failed myself. So, now, I don't have much to say. Isn't that weird? I usually have SO much to say, but right now I don't. It's kinda a relief, to tell you the truth. My fingers usually are usually about to fall off when I'm finished writing a chapter, but I don't think so this time. Oh, wait. I was just rambling again, wasn't I? Ugh, I'm sorry. You don't wanna hear this. So! Here's chapter eleven. Got, it's chapter eleven already?!
"El?" came the distant shout. I guess they found me then. "Ellie!"
I curled myself tighter into the ball I had formed. I just wanted them to leave me alone. Just this once, why couldn't they? I was always being saved. Maybe I didn't want to be saved. Maybe I just wanted to wither. If the Carrigans hadn't been in my life, I would probably already be gone. So maybe I've outlived myself.
"ELLIE?!" Lucy screeched, and I could tell that she was close to me, maybe a few feet away. "Jude! Come help!"
She knelt down next to me, whispering under her breath. "Oh, no. Oh, no no. Not again. Please, God, let her be okay!" I felt her face move away. "JUDE! GET OVER HERE!"
Lucy moved her palm from the ground, wiped it on her lap, then put it on my arm, pushing a little bit. "C'mon, Ellie. Stop it, stop it!" She shook me more forcefully, but I let my body ricochet lifelessly. I felt like I had been completely drained.
"Lucy I- What's wrong? What happened?" This was Jude's voice; lower, with that frisky Liverpoolian accent.
"I don't know!" Luce said desperately, a note of panic seeping into her voice. "I just came up here and here she was!" I felt Jude stoop beside me. I wanted to say something so badly, but I really couldn't. I felt like I was done, just giving up. Obviously God thought that I was done, too, or this twisted shit would stop happening to me. Maybe I was always a mistake. The conviction to talk to Jude and Lucy was gone, and I let my entire body go completely limp.
"She looks like she's okay…. I don't know, we should probably just take her home." I felt him scoop me up in his arms, grunting a little bit but carrying me with unusual ease.
"Yeah…home…." Lucy mumbled. We began to walk.
When I say that girl across the room, I knew that I was taking her home tonight. The voluptuous way her hip turned in, her long, straight, blonde hair. If she didn't come with me on my way out of here, I was going to be beyond pissed. That was just what I needed right now. Turning a fucking horrible day into a just plain fucking day.
I strode up to her, nothing but pure confidence. "Hey. Can I buy you a drink?"
The girl glanced at me once, then did a double-take, sitting up straighter. "Yeah," she said flirtatiously, leaning forward and resting her head in her hands. "You gotta name, baby?"
I nodded. "You?"
She giggled rather exaggeratedly, but hey! I wasn't going to complain. "Yup. I'm Mary Jane." Mary Jane battered her eye lashes at me.
"What's the new, Mary Jane?"
She sighed, leaning back in what she obviously thought was a cool manner. For all intents and purposes, she could be hopping one footed on a tight rope, and it still wouldn't have mattered nor impressed me. I wasn't looking to be impressed.
"Oh, just came to drink away my troubles." She smiled, waving her hand airily. "Boyfriend troubles."
"Ahhhh," I said, disinterested. But I knew that if I wanted this girl I was going to have to at least make SOME sort of effort. I slid onto the stool next to her, and she sipped her drink. "I happen to be an expert on boyfriend issues."
Her face fell. "Oh, so you're gay, then?"
I actually laughed out loud at that one. "No, no. I just happen to be the worst boyfriend in the world."
She tittered, stirring her drink slightly with her finger. "Good thing I'm not looking for a new boyfriend." She looked up from her glass, giving me a sly grin.
"Okay. My place or yours?"
"Yours. Definitely yours."
Lucy burst in the door, and Jude followed her shortly after. She looked, for lack of a better word, frazzled.
"Pru! Pru, it's Ellie! I don't know what happened!" Lucy shouted at me just as Jude laid Ellie down on the sofa. She curled up in a tight ball, rolling into the cushions. We all watched her for a moment, and when she reemerged she was gasping for breath.
"I…I'm so sorry. I-I can't…I just want…." Her face was red and splotchy as though she has been crying- as though she SHOULD have been crying- but her face was completely dry. I wondered why she was holding it in, but I guess it didn't matter at this point. She was a mess.
"Ellie, I don't understand. What happened?" asked the still frantic Lucy. She was kneeling next to Jude near Ellie's face. Jude looked concerned as well, though he couldn't have known her any better than I could, with them being so new to the city.
"I-I…." Her voice shook violently, and her blue eyes glazed over, as though she were recounting what had happened. Suddenly, her whole body shuddered. I was pretty sure she was in shock. "Can…can I t-talk to hi-im?"
Lucy looked at Jude, who shrugged. However, I knew exactly who she was talking about. Some subconscious part of her wanted Max. Ha! This proved my theory that they were meant to be!
"We don't know who you're talking about, El," Jude told her in a gentle voice. She rolled her eyes up to meet his, staring blankly for a moment, then looked back at Lucy.
"Max." His name came out perfectly clear, un-stuttered and not so shaky. I felt like doing a happy dance around the Whatever room.
As if on cue, the door suddenly flew open, and none other than Max himself barged in. Accompanied, of course, with a young lady of rather…ahem…unusual taste. Hey, I thought she was pretty damn hot, and I'm not judging, but…really Max? Not in front of Lucy and Ellie, please!
The two were locked in a full embrace, and Max had pushed her against the wall. Her hands were already starting to move down from his face when Jude cleared his throat. "Er…Max?"
Max looked up, seeing us all staring at him. "Oh, hey what's up guys?" He turned to girl he was with. "You can go wait in my room, Mary Jane. It's first on the left. I'll be there in a minute."
"It's Ellie, Max. I think she's in shock or something." Lucy said immediately. Max frowned, looking at the couch and seeing the girl for the first time. Ellie groaned.
"Shit! What'd you guys do?" He knocked Lucy out of the way, claiming her spot because it was closest to Ellie. He put his fingers to her neck, checking her pulse, then picked them up and swiped them over her forehead, keeping her curls out of her face.
"WE didn't do anything. We just found her like this over by the docks." Lucy's cheeks flushed. I could guess easily why they had been there.
"Ellie, sweetie. Are you okay?" he asked her softly, stroking her hair. Awwww! Oh, my gosh I wanted them together so bad! Why couldn't anybody else see how perfect they were for each other?
"M-Max…" she mumbled. The sound of her voice was enough to make anybody in the room cry. "He…he attacked me! I-I didn't list-en to what y-you said…I w-w-went by the al-ley and he was r-right there…right t-there…." She trailed off, choking those last words out. Still, though she didn't cry.
Max closed his eyes for a second. "It wasn't him though, right El? It was just some guy?" He waited til she nodded to go on. "And he…attacked you?" The word seemed hard for him to get out, like he didn't want to say it, because if he did it would make it true.
Ellie's body convulsed again. "I…I-I was so sc-ared, Max."
Max nodded slowly, almost painfully. The look on his face confirmed everything I had assumed when I first saw them in bed together. "Shhh, it's alright, Ellie. We're all here now. It's gonna be okay."
Her eyes looked wild, but they slowly began to droop throughout the conversation. "D-don't leave m-me Max." She tried her best to gaze up at him, but her eyes seemed to fail her.
He bit his lip, staring at her. It seemed like forever before he finally responded. "I'm sorry, but I have to go." Instantly, her eyes popped right back open. Max stood up.
"No, n-no…please don't g-g-go Ma-ax…." He shushed her again, leaning down to kiss her on her forehead.
"You'll be okay," he whispered, then started to walk away.
I could tell she wanted to yell after him, but no one had the heart to stop him. It was all, I think, perfectly apparent to every one of us in the room what was going on. Without warning, the tears Ellie had been holding back started to roll down her face. Soon enough, she was shaking with uncontrollable sobs.
It was then that I realized how unique Ellie was. She could take being attacked by some stranger without crying (okay, so she basically broke down completely, but she didn't cry, that she didn't do) but as soon as the boy she loved (maybe she still didn't realize it yet…but I think everyone else did) left her, she couldn't control herself. She wasn't afraid of what people she didn't know though of her. She was a mess right now, that could not be denied. But, if Max was telling the truth, she had been through some serious shit in her life, and I respect her…I even admire her.
It was the saddest thing I had seen in a very long time. I knew right then, with undying certainty, that Max and Ellie were in love with each other. I did not know if they knew it yet, and I was not sure how strong their love was going to turn out to be, but I knew it was there. That, of course, wasn't the sad part. It wasn't even how badly Ellie shook with her tears, or the way Lucy wrapped her arms around her best friend, weeping right along with her.
No, it was the fact that Max didn't even turn around.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry times a million for not updating in so long, and also for making Max seem like a jerk in this chapter. I wanted SO BAD to have the last scene be in Max's prospective, but I couldn't get the emotion right. And it's sorta different in Prudence's angle, isn't it? I mean, she obviously thinks they should be together, and we'll find out how they both feel next chapter, but still I think it added something, you know? An outsiders point of view to a love story. Soooo, review pretty please, tell me what you think. Also, if you want to give me any suggestions or anything like that, you can leave a review OR PM me if you want to talk ATU or Beatles!!!! THANKS!
